In the world of sports there is an old sports adage, “Speed kills”. Meaning if you can’t keep up with speed of the other team, then they will get to the ball first, or to the puck first. Once that team has the ball or the puck, speed kills you because then they can go right by you and score. In Judaism there is an ancient adage. “Gossip kills”. A man spread a rumor about another person. He later felt regret, and went to the Rabbi to ask how he could make amends. "Go to the store and buy a bag of seeds," said the Rabbi, "then go to a big open field and scatter the seeds into the wind. Do so and report to me in a week." The man did as he was told, and came back the next week to find out what to do next. "Now," said the Rabbi, "go back to the field and pick up all the seeds." "But," protested the man, "those seeds have scattered far and wide! I'll never find them all. Many have even already taken root!" "Exactly," explained the rabbi. "Now you understand. When we speak badly about another person, the effect is far and wide. And it is damage that can never be fully undone." In the Babylonian Talmud, tractate Arichin we learn that Rabbi Samuel bar Nachman said: " Why is the evil tongue called a thrice slaying tongue? Because it slays three persons: the person speaking, the person spoken to, and the person spoken of. And the proof? Doeg, who spoke evil; Saul to whom it was spoken, and Nob, the city of priests, of whom it was spoken" (15b). Gossip kills.
In this week's parsha, Beha'alotcha, we read of an actual case in which we see that that the words of our sages were remarkably pertinent. "Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses regarding the Cushite woman he [Moses] had married, for he had married a Cushite woman. They said, 'Was it only to Moshe that God spoke? Did he not speak to us as well?' And God heard" (Num 12:1-2). Miriam became afflicted with Tzaarat or "leprosy". We read about this affliction several weeks ago in Parshat Metzorah from the book of Leviticus. In that Parshah we learned that Tzaarat is the physical manifestation of a spiritual disease. Our sages and the medieval commentators explained that this spiritual disease is Lashon HaRah, (gossip). While Parshat Metzorah offers a theoretical explanation about Lashon HaRah, Parsha Beha'alotcha provides an actual case study of the laws of Metzorah.
Gossip kills. We learn that whoever engages in it is, in a sense, a murderer. Miriam murdered Moshe by sullying his reputation. She murdered herself by sullying her stature within the community. Aaron, her brother sullied himself by providing Miriam with a forum to engage in Lashon Harah. One of the concepts we have learned from the book of Leviticus is the relationship between death and spiritual impurity. Death renders us spiritually impure. By participating in Lashon Harah, and killing a spiritual aspect of herself and her two brothers, Miriam rendered herself impure. So what happened to Miriam? "Miriam was afflicted with tzaarat, like snow." (Num 12:10). Miriam was as pale as death. A piece of Miriam had died. In fact, Aaron is so beside himself, he pleads to Moshe on her behalf. "Let her not be like a corpse, like one who leaves his mother's womb with half his flesh having been consumed!"(Num. 12:12). Miriam was then quarantined for seven days. Then, after seven days, she was brought back into the camp.
In a very real sense, Miriam's seven-day quarantine was tantamount to sitting Shiva. Shiva Yamim means seven days, and sitting Shiva, is a seven-day process. Like anyone who has suffered the loss of an immediate relative: mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, husband or wife; Miriam suffered a spiritual loss because of her actions. Just as any mourner has come into contact with death, Miriam has also come into contact with death. Just like any mourner sits Shiva for seven days, Miriam sits Shiva for seven days. However Miriam sits for herself. A mourner sits for the deceased. The mourner sits Shiva in his/her home. He/she does not venture out into the community. Certainly the community is obligated to visit the Eival (the mourner) in the home. Miriam also could not venture out into the community. She was, in a sense, confined to her home outside the community. Clearly, Miriam's behavior rendered her impure, put her into contact with spiritual death, and as a result, she underwent a period of spiritual soul searching, cleansing and re-birth. The mourner also becomes impure. Depending upon the loss, the mourner has lost a little piece of him/herself with the death of the loved one. Shiva provides the opportunity for the Eivel to undergo spiritual soul searching, cleansing, and a rebirth into the community.
Obviously the most significant difference between the person who engages in Lashon HaRah, and the mourner, is the latter's role. He or she became a mourner as a result of the death of a loved one. The gossiper has committed a wrong. The gossiper's punishment and purification process is similar to the mourner's grieving and re-birthing process. Clearly our sages saw this stark similarity and understood the moral value that the Torah was teaching us. A holy community is one in which individuals treat other individuals in a dignified and respectful manner. A holy community is one which individuals speak well of others and not ill of others. A holy community is one in which we behave in a manner that promotes the lives and well being of the members of our community. We don't do things that diminish us, that spiritually pollute us, that damages another's reputation, and cause the Shechinah (God's divine spirit) to cease dwelling among us. Remember, gossip kills.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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