Hearts Of Summer Held In Trust, Still Tender Young And Green (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Days Between")

           It is crunch time in our house. With Pesach out of the way, my wife’s attention has turned towards our youngest daughter’s bat mitzvah. It seems as if there is a never ending list of things for my wife to do. Dresses, shoes, caterer, Shabbat meals, theme, centerpieces, colors, hotel rooms for some out of town guests, Shabbat hospitality for other out of town guests, her speech, and seating arrangements need to be accounted for. One of the big questions that I am sure most people are wondering about is if my wife worries and deals with all these variables then what do I do? My job seems much simpler. I study with our daughter. We study about the topic of her choice. We learn together and I help her write her speech and present it. Of course, if my wife doesn’t see me learning with our daughter, or she doesn’t see our daughter writing her speech or practicing her speech, well then it’s just another thing for her to worry about and focus upon. With so much to do, so much to worry about both very important and, let’s be honest, somewhat less important and even the stuff that is downright narishkeit and irrelevant (my opinion only and I am no party planner); my poor wife wakes up in the morning already feeling overwhelmed stating her hope beyond hope that she can “start crossing things of the To Do List!” Honestly, I try to help. I say things like, “Don’t worry, it will be terrific and our daughter will be wonderful. Our guests will have a lovely time.” Or I will say something like, “Why are you worrying so much? We have done this twice before and it worked out fine.” While those words may be comforting, (although I am starting to think that they are not), the fact that I say it while sipping coffee, and watching the first few minutes of Morning Joe (my news show) at 6:15am, acting, as if, according to my wife, I don’t have a care in the world, might not be the best way to deliver that message.  Before she says another word or gives me a look, I just remind her that she needs to trust the moment, and trust in her guests. Everything will be wonderful, not necessarily because my wife has worried about and taken care of every detail, but rather everything will be wonderful because our daughter will speak passionately and intelligently, and our guests are sharing in our daughter’s simchah.

This week, we read, Parsha Behar.  For the last several Parshiot, the Torah has provided us with numerous examples of how to elevate our lives if we happen to be Kohanim, or if we happen to be anything besides Kohanim. For the past several weeks, the Torah has provided us numerous examples of holy relationships and unholy relationships as well as more sacred times and less sacred times.  Now, in Parsha Behar we are taught how the land of Eretz Yisroel can elevate our lives in holiness, Shmitta (the seventh year.) Just like the seventh day (Shabbat) is a day of rest. Shmitta is a year of rest. Every seventh year, all outstanding debts are cancelled. The land lies fallow. Slaves and servants are set free. Agriculturally speaking, there is a benefit. Resting the soil for a year allows for replenishment of nutrients. Rabbinically speaking, less time devoted to agricultural concerns meant more time devoted to Torah study!

            Perhaps most important aspect of Parsha Behar is implicit in the Mitzvah associated with Shmitta, the notion of Bitachon, trust in God. In Behar, we may consider this notion of Shmitta to be quite nice. All debts are cancelled. On the other hand, if the land is to lie fallow, what would people eat? We are urged to trust God.   V’Tziviti  Et BirChati Lachem Ba’Shanah Ha’Shishit V’Asah Et Hatvuah Lishlosh Ha’Shanim - I will ordain My blessing for you in the sixth year and it will yield  a crop sufficient  for the three-year period (Lev. 25: 21). Just like God provided a double portion of Manna on Friday and thereby guarantee enough food for Shabbat, so too God will “guarantee” enough produce in the sixth year. B’nai Yisroel won’t starve in the seventh (Shmitta) year.

In the process of climbing the rungs of the Kedusha ladder, we ultimately need to learn to trust God. Successfully achiever each level of Kedusha confirms that sense of Bitachon, Trust. We trust that God is Holy; otherwise we would have no need to be holy. We trust that everything pure and good is attributable to God. Otherwise, we would constantly defile ourselves. We trust that we are created in God’s image. Otherwise, there is no reason to treat people with kindness first. Trust in God, in a sense, is a spiritually individualized Mishkan. The Mishkan was built so that God would dwell among us. Similarly, if our purpose is to attain higher and higher levels of Kedusha, we trust that the end result is God’s dwelling within us. From where I sit first thing in the morning sensing my wife’s stress while I drink coffee and watch Morning Joe, I know that if we have done our job and put in the effort, then we have to learn to trust that our daughter is prepared, trust the fact that our guests are there to share in our daughter’s simchah, trust that our family just want to beam with pride that their sister, granddaughter, niece, and cousin has achieved this milestone, then everything else, (except paying for it), will take care of itself. Of course my wife reminds me how easy it is for me to “trust” since I “trust” that everything will be taken care of and will work out beautifully because she did it all. Well I guess she is kind of right.

            Peace,

Rav Yitz

Wake Of The Flood, Laughing Water (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Here Comes Sunshine")

It’s is crunch time in our home. Our twelve year old makes the final preparations for her Bat Mitzvah as well as handling school work and life. Lots of “stuff” seems to be sitting on our daughter’s plate and I know that she has moments of feeling overwhelmed. Just the other night she was studying for 6 tests and worrying about certain parts of her Dvar Torah.  She was exhausted, and looked like she was about to cry. She retained her composure, but we looked at her and suggested that she go to bed. Looking so tire, it was clear that no more information was entering her brain and studying was entering the realm of counterproductive. We finally realized it and went up to bed, knowing that a good night’s sleep and studying some more in the morning would be much more affective. As I watched her trudge up to bed, I realized that part of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation is experiencing this sense of adding more to the plate, dealing with a sense of being overwhelmed. We all go through it.  Rabbis might feel that way during the Chagim with all the sermon preparation. An accountant might feel that way during tax season. A Treasurer might feel that way when preparing a company’s quarterly report. A student might feel overwhelmed and drowning during final exams. Others may feel like they are overwhelmed and drowning when he/she suffers a loss of a loved one. We have all experienced the feelings of chaos that are caused by our sense of being flood with too much to handle, and with it perhaps diminished faith.

This Shabbat we read from Parshat Noach. Comprised of two distinct narratives; both deal with the theology of chaos and confused boundaries. First we read the story of Noach, God’s disenchantment with creation and mankind’s behavior, the instruction to build the Teva (the Ark), the Flood as punishment for mankind’s unethical behavior, the covenant made between God and Noach and the resulting offering to God, and then an odd story about Noach’s drunkenness and one’s sons inappropriate behavior. The second distinct narrative is also about chaos and confused boundaries. This time mankind confuses boundaries and trying to build a tower up to the heavens. The result is that God scatters mankind across the earth by making mankind speak numerous languages and making communication difficult.

While both narratives can conceivably stand alone; both narratives are related. As manifested in the previous Parsha, God is a god of creation and order. Therefore, in order for God to destroy, order must be removed or chaos must become firmly entrenched.  Meivi et HaMabul Mayim AL HaAretz L’Shacheit Kol Basar Asher Bo Ruach Chayim Mitachat HaShamayim Kol Asher Ba’Aretz Yigvah – I will bring the flood of waters upon the earth  to destroy all flesh, in which is the breath of life from under heaven, and everything that is on earth shall die. Clearly from the text there must be other kinds of floods besides water, otherwise we do not need to be told that this particular flood is one that involves water. The message is that God will punish creation by instituting chaos for a period of time. Later in Chapter 11 as mankind begins building a tower up to heaven God becomes disappointed again. Vayomer Adoshem  Hain Am Echad V’Safah Achat L’Chulam V’zeh Hachilam La’Asot V’aAtah Lo Yibatzeir Mei’hem Kol Asher Yazmu La’Asot – Behold the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do; and now nothing will be withheld from them which they have schemed to do. Hava Neirdah V’Navlah Sham Sfatam Sher lo Yishmu Ish  Sfat Rei’eihu – Come let us go down and there confound their language, that they may not understand on another’s speech. Instead of the flood of water, God created the flood of language and confusion the flood of a cacophony.

The flood of chaos and the struggle to handle chaos is part of our human condition. The first narrative, the Noach narrative, teaches that chaos is now part of creation and in a sense a type of punishment. The second narrative, the Tower of Bavel, teaches us that chaos is part of the everyday human life. It is part of our task as human beings as we struggle to elevate ourselves from the animal aspect of our existence to the spiritual aspect of our existence that we create order from chaos. To do so is a Godly endeavor. To do so allows us to transcend the physical world. Hopefully, as our daughter makes more order out of the chaos of her “to do” list; she will begin to feel less overwhelmed and more in control. Hopefully she will begin to feel less like she is drowning and more like she has created some type of order from the chaos. After all, the feeling of accomplishment that she experiences after she gives her Dvar Torah, should teach her that she is capable of handling what is on her plate, rather than drowning in a flood of anxiety.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

A Voice So Sweet And Clear (Barlow & Weir "Gloria Monday")

We just returned from spending Shabbat and the weekend in Philadelphia. I did my undergraduate work in Philadelphia (actually the Philly suburbs), so in a sense, I experienced a lot of déjà vu. The bar mitzvah was very nice and it was terrific seeing our San Diego friends. On Sunday, as we began the 9+ hour drive home to Toronto, the discussion turned to the inevitable. Our eleven year old daughter will have a Bat Mitzvah sometime this summer and early fall. We are still designing the whole bat mitzvah concept. We are planning a trip to Israel, I have started learning text with our daughter specifically Hilchot Tzeddakkah – the Laws of Charitable Donations. Our plan is to have an informal get together on this continent so she can share with us what she has learned as well as to have a type of Siyyum for her completion of this course of study. While so many details need to be worked out, we are all in agreement that our daughter needs to speak, she needs to share with us what she has learned as well as to explain how she has incorporated the learning into some type of mitzvah project.

This Shabbat is known as Shabbat Shira (Shabbat of Songs) because of the "songs" or prose in both the Parsha, Beshallach, and in the Haftarah. In the Parsha Beshallach, B'nai Yisroel finally leaves Egypt. Pharaoh sends them out and they hurriedly leave. Three days later, B'nai Yisroel arrives at the Yam Suf, the Reed Sea, which is along the Mediterranean coast. With Pharaoh's army behind them, and the Sea in front, B'nai Yisroel is trapped. Then the sea opens up, B'nai Yisroel crosses through and arrives safely on the other side. The Egyptian army gets caught in the sea - bed as the waters comes crashing down. Out of joy and relief, B'nai Yisroel composes Shirat HaYam, the Song of the Sea. No sooner are they finished celebrating, then they begin complaining about the lack of water and food. God provides water and Manna. However, B'nai Yisroel is still not safe. Now they are attacked by the indigenous tribe, the Amalakites. B'nai Yisroel must put aside its hunger and thirst and fight for their lives. They do, and they are victorious. The Parsha ends with God commanding Moshe to blot out the very existence of the Amalakites.

When we read and study Torah, we notice that there are not a lot of narratives about women. When woman are mentioned it is in a context that is somewhat tangential to the main story line, i.e. Dinah, Tamar, Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt, Leah and even Rachel. The mention of women is either associated with the birth of children or in the context of someone or something else. Even when we read the genealogies we should notice that it is traced through the man. However in Parsha Beshallach we read about Miriam and B'not Yisroel in a very different context. They are not mentioned in the context of childbirth, nor are they are not mentioned in the context of marriage. V'Tikach Miryam Hanavi Achot Aharon et Hatof B'yadah-Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took her drum in her hand, Va'Teithenah Chol Ha'Nashim Achareha B'Tupim U'Vimcholot- and all the women went forth after her with drums and dances (Ex 15:20). Miriam is being mentioned in her own right and not within the context of someone else. Miriam is mentioned in the framework of the story. B'nai Yisroel finishes the crossing. They sing their song. The waters swallow up Pharaoh’s army. Miriam leads the women in celebratory song and dance. V'Ta'an Lahem Miryam Shiru L'Adonai Ki Ga'oh Ga'ah Sus v'Rochvo Ramah VaYam - Miriam spoke up to them "Sing to G-d for He is exalted above the arrogant, having hurled horse with its rider into the sea (Ex 15:21). Miriam is given a public voice. She is given a forum for public expression. Except in the Haftarah, when another prophetess named Devorah has a similar forum, nowhere else do we read of a woman given such a public voice and public expression. How empowering this moment was for Miriam. She not only led women but La'hem (to them) refers to both men and women. She spoke to and convinced everyone to sing praises to God.

Our perception of Miriam is that of a strong female character. Our perception of Devorah is that of a strong character. Our perception of the matriarch Rivka is that of a strong female character. Miriam and Devorah had occupied a very public forum for their voices. Rebecca's forum existed in the confines of the family. All three spoke out, all three were listened to. All three were given a voice in the Torah. From this we learn just how vital it is for woman to have voice, to have opinion, to have a forum and a means to express their voice.

As our daughter prepares for her bat mitzvah, I have already noticed a change in her voice, a change in how she deals with life and voices an opinion. She is starting to be a little more thoughtful, a little more insightful, and a little less superficial. Her voice has started to get stronger and with that, we have started to add more responsibility to her plate. Hopefully, by the time of her Bat Mitzvah she will have discovered her voice and a way for us to hear it in the young adult she is soon to become.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

That Path is forYour Steps Alone (Robert Hunter&Jerry Garcia - "Ripple")

When I reached certain milestones in my own life, I never thought much of it. Yes these milestones such as: Bar Mitzvah, graduation, or marriage were sources of joy, pride, and accomplishment. However these milestones never gave me pause to look back out over my life with a sense mortality, or existential angst. However when my children started having their own milestones, such as being born, their first day of school or their Bar/Mitzvah or their graduation; these milestones gave me moments for pause. These milestones reminded me of my own mortality. These milestones forced me to wonder how will I afford a Bat Mitzvah, college tuition let alone weddings. These milestones invariably force me to look back over the course of my life and realize that, in some respects, vast spiritual, emotional and physical distances have been traveled and, Im Yirtzeh Hashem (With God’s help) there is more distance left to travel. Just recently, my wife and I have begun on the second Bat Mitzvah Party circuit. Having safely negotiated this with our eldest daughter, we now begin negotiating this phase with our 2^nd eldest daughter. Because we have maintained close friendships in both New Jersey and San Diego, our daughter has a wonderful opportunity to acquire frequent flier miles. At least, she hopes that she can acquire frequent flier miles. Her first opportunity came last weekend when she was supposed to go to New Jersey for her first Bat Mitzvah party. Admittedly, I was having a hard time accepting the fact that my wife and I had now entered this stage of parenting. Admittedly I was having a hard time accepting both the cost in dollars and time that this phase of parenting could potentially become. However something happened as she was about to go to New Jersey. The weather failed to cooperate. A freakish snow storm hit South Eastern New York, North Eastern Pennsylvania, and North New Jersey (the exact route we were to take to the Bat Mitzvah). We couldn’t go.

This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Eventually, Abram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. Lot, Abram's nephew, and Abram decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of travelling.

The Zohar, the rabbinic book of mysticism, comments upon the first verse "Lech Lecha Mei'Artzecha uMimoladtcha, U'mibeit Avicha El Ha'Aretz Acher Areka- Go for yourself from your land, from your relatives, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you (Gen 12:1). Instead of a physical journey, the Zohar explains that Abram was commanded to embark upon a spiritual journey. The soul, while residing in the World to Come, exists in close proximity to God. Because of the spiritual clarity and intensity revealed there, no free will and no chance for spiritual growth and advancement can occur. Like the angels, the soul in the World to Come is called an Omaid, a standee. In this World however, we know that a person has Free Will. This means that we all have the opportunity to advance spiritually as long as we remain in this World. The soul in this world is call a Holiach, a walker, someone who goes, much like Abram went.

Like Abram, we are all commanded to Lech Lecha. We are all commanded to leave our homes, our birthplaces and face the world. We are all commanded to face the challenges of this World and retain our integrity, our ideals and our sense of purpose. The challenge is to enter the physical and material world and retain the priorities consistent with the world from where our Neshama, our soul came, the spiritual world. Abram walked and traveled, and so did Lot. Yet Abram epitomized the individual who retained his integrity and ideals despite the difficulties of life, and despite the growing cynicism brought on by age. Abram managed to remember that God is the end and everything else is merely a means to that end. However all the wealth and all the prosperity are not ends in and of itself.

In verse Gen 12:8 we read Va'Yeit Ahalo - "and he [Abram] pitched his tent". Rashi points out that we read "his tent", but it is written as "her tent". This means that he pitched his wife's tent first and only then did he pitch other tents. Also the word tent is written in the singular. For Abram, his travels through life were about first doing for others then for himself. Abram's wealth was only a means of satisfying the basic needs of food, clothing and shelter. Otherwise wealth was to be use for the betterment of his camp, of his family and his tribe. About Lot we are told in Gen. 13:5 that "Lot, who went forth with Abram, had flocks, cattle and tents." Lot had accumulated wealth. He had not used his wealth for any significant or fundamental purpose. Each had to make his way in the world and each had dealt with hardship and each had accumulated wealth. However one remained with God and one chose the fertile valley near Sodom and Gomorrah in order to increase wealth. One handled hardship with grace and dignity never losing faith in God. One drifted so far from God that he eventually chose to live in an utterly amoral community who cared more for his own guests than his own daughters (Gen. 19:6-8).

The realization that I just reached a milestone occurred that evening when we tucked our daughter in to bed. She was a little bit teary eyed and saddened by the fact that we couldn’t bring her to her friend’s party. However our daughter grew up in front of us. She handled the disappointing news with grace and maturity. When I told her how proud I was of her for the way she handled the disappointing news, I realized that this little girl was growing up preparing for her own journey.

Peace,

Rav Yitz