I Guess They Can't Revoke Your Soul For Trying; Get Out Of The Door, Light Out And Look All Around (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir & Phil Lesh - "Trucking")

           Like parents of many 18-year-old children here in North America, we said “good-bye” to our 18- year old daughter as she left for her gap year in Israel.  The airport was almost like a ghost town, only one parent could walk inside with her (mommy insisted on walking in). As a result, her siblings and I had to say our goodbye’s curbside. As she and I took a minute, I explained to our daughter that a fundamental change is occurring. She will now have two homes, a home where her parents live and that she will either frequently or infrequently visit, and home is where she lives her life. I reminded her, that the home where her parents are, is open 24/7, it is open for shelter, refuge, re-charging as well as reminding her of her values, her roots, and a sanctuary. Through our tears I reminded her that this is what we, her parents, signed up for:, raise, feed, clothe, educate, and instill values, morals, and life lessons as possible in order to diminish the risk when they do leave. Indeed a child’s leaving is inevitable. I looked into my daughter’s big blue eyes and reassured her that she is ready to leave, to embark on her journey,  confront life and live life without mommy and daddy involved on a daily basis.

          This week's Torah portion is Ki Teitzei. Moshe continues with listing laws such as: rights of the firstborn for an inheritance, the wayward rebellious son, lost and found property, sending a mother bird from the nest when procuring the egg from the nest, tzitzit, false accusations, forbidden marriages, charging interest, divorce, workers’ rights to timely payment, honesty in weights and measures and remembering Amalek. That is just to name a few. All these laws reflect one extremely relevant idea. Judaism is not just a ritualized religion that takes on import three times a year, or only at life cycle events. Judaism is a way of life. 

          Anything, any idea that is considered to be a “way of life” must be relevant in two places, in the home (a sanctuary) and outside the home where life is much less ideal than the home/sanctuary. Certainly, we can read the first verse as Moshe’s instructions regarding the appropriate manner to behave while fighting a war.  Ki Teitzeh LaMilchama Al Oyvecha UnTano Adoshem Elokecha B’Yadecha  - When you will go out to war against your enemies, and Hashem, your God will deliver him [your enemies] into your hand (Deut. 10:11). Yes, Moshe’s presentation of these laws suggests that there is an inevitability about going out to wage war. Rashi clarifies by explaining that this B’Milchemet HaRashut-an optional war. The sages explained that biblically speaking, an “optional war” is any war other than a war of the conquest of the Land of Canaan and the war against Amalek. Those wars are not optional but rather the fulfillment of a direct commandment. According to Sforno (the great Italian Renaissance commentator), “an optional” war is any war outside Israel or a political war.” Sforno’s comment is fascinating because it forces us to understand Moshe’s statement about Ki Tetzei La Milchama from a figurative and perhaps even a spiritual dimension. Moshe is speaking to “you” in the singular, “you” the individual. The Torah never said that he was addressing only the army. Each and every one of “you” wages a war of Reshut, an optional war. The individual “You” wages war against inner demons, against peer pressure, against that which is convenient and easy. “You” the individual wages a war against the monotony of routine. One thing is for certain, from Moshe’s perspective, war is waged upon Ki Teitzeh upon “going out”, leaving the “friendly confines”, leaving the “nest”, leaving the warmth and safety of the home and a sanctuary.

          Reading Ki Teitzeh in a figurative manner, gave new meaning to our daughter’s leaving for Israel. Yes, I am her father and yes, I am protective.  Yes, she departed with her own coat of armor: face mask, face shield, hand sanitizer, gloves, and Lysol wipes. However, I know that protecting her means that her mother and I accept the inevitability of her leaving and it is our job to give her the tools, the “weapons” so to speak, in order to deal with life, people, and her own insecurities and anxieties. So when I hugged my daughter goodbye, and when I blessed her through my tearing eyes, I also reminded her that she was ready for this and I lovingly reminded her code, her way of life is applicable not only to our home, the home she was raised in, but the home that she will be making for herself.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Mama Tried To Raise Me Better But Her Pleading I Denied; That Leaves Only Me To Blame 'Cause Mama Tried (Merle Haggard - "Mama Tried")

Since last weekend, we have been riveted with the ongoing catastrophic flooding that has occurred in Houston and vicinity because of Hurricane Harvey. We have seen shocking and heart wrenching pictures of rescues, of lost loved ones, of people who have lost their homes, lost everything except what was on their back and what they carried. We have watched neighbors form a human chain to rescue a pregnant woman rush her to the hospital in order to give birth.  Amid the property loss, damage and death, we have watched people reaching out to care for those in need. Keeping in mind what happened in the preceding weeks in Charlottesville, my faith in humanity and the United States was re-affirmed by a simple picture of an African American policeman rescuing two white children in his arms and carrying them to safety.

This Shabbat, we read Parsha Ki Teitzeh. Moshe teaches us the laws concerning war, creating an environment for soldiers to behave as honorably as possible. We learn that everyone, whether “loved” or “hated” has rights under the law as well as entitlements. We learn that every one of us is responsible for the other. If we see something that has been lost by our neighbor then we pick it up and return it. Moshe re-iterates that human relationships can either be holy, between a husband and wife, and between parents and children or unholy by crossing the boundaries of those relationships. Moshe reminds the people that children will not be punished for the sins of their parents, nor will parents be punished as a result of their children. In such a situation there would be no need to add punishment since the parents of the child or the children of the parent would be punished enough just having been touch by the situation. Essentially this morning’s Parsha is all about human relationships designed to maintain individual holiness as well as communal holiness.

So it is troubling that we are confronted with one of the most controversial commandments of the Torah. Ki Yiheyeh L’Ish Bein Sorer U’Moreh Einenu Shomeiah B’kol Aviv U’vkol Imo, If a man will have a wayward and rebellious son, who does not hearken to the voice of his father and the voice of his mother V’Yisru Oto v’Lo Yishmah Aleihem and they discipline him, but he does not hearken to them, then his father and mother shall grasp him and take him out to the elders of his city and the gate of his place. They shall say to the elders of the city, B’Neinu zeh Sorer U Moreh “This son of ours is wayward and rebellious, he does not hearken to our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.” All the men of his city shall pelt him with stones and he shall die;  U’viarta HaRah Mikirbecha  and you shall remove the evil from your midst (Deut. 21:18-21). The literal meaning of the verses suggests that in the extreme case of an evil child who is beyond help, and clings to evil the way the rest of the community clings to holiness, such a child must be eliminated.

We should all recognize the fact that Moshe’s presentation of the “Rebellious Child” is theoretical. The Talmud makes the point that “there never was nor will there ever be” a child to be put to death based upon this law. Rashi, the 11th century Northern French commentator, explains that the harshness of the punishment is not for crimes already perpetrated rather it is to prevent this amoral, evil person to grow up and wreak greater havoc upon society. Rather than allowing him to die as an older person with his victims’ blood on his hands, Moshe teaches us to eliminate this person before there are more victims. Theoretically Rashi is merely stating what so many of us already take for granted in terms of our place within society.  The greater good is the highest virtue. How else can we understand Houston city officials choosing to empty some of the reservoirs that are at capacity and its structural integrity threatened. Emptying the reservoirs will contribute to the flooding; however it will be less damaging than if the dams and reservoirs break.

The Jewish calendar indicates that it is approximately ten days in the final month of the Jewish Year, the month of Elul. When Elul concludes, a new year will commence. As we approach Rosh Hashanah and a new year; we begin evaluating ourselves, we can take a lesson from this theoretical case. The death of such rebellious person is a result of not mending one’s ways, of not engaging in Teshuva. Such a person’s soul is already dead, or at least that is what the Torah is symbolically telling us. So let us have the strength and courage to make sure that we never allow ourselves to slip that far and in doing so, the rebellious child that resides within in us can grow and evolve into a mentsche.

Peace,

Rav Yitz