All The Years Combine, They Melt Into A Dream, A Broken Angel Sings (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Stella Blue")

Well Labour Day came and went and with it so did my birthday. Yep another year gone. More gray hair added. I have never been a big fan of birthdays. I always like to spend them quietly. While some in my family prefer some extraordinary family activity or party, I prefer a round of golf, sitting by a swimming pool reading a book while my kids swim and then grilling some steaks and eating dinner outside with my wife and children. Usually during golf while I am admiring the scenic beauty, or while I watch my children playing in the pool, or while I am grilling dinner; I have an opportunity for a bit of self-reflection. I think about successes and failures, I think about what my plans were after college and where I am in terms of those plans. Have I realized any of my goals? Am I on course, off course? With the right trajectory? Thirty years later, have I accomplished anything? On one level, the self- reflection exercise can be pretty brutal. There are times I feel like a complete failure save for my family.  There when I seriously wonder if I measure up to the standards that I set for myself way back when. For a moment this self- reflection on my Birthday can be really quite depressing. Sometimes there is a moment of contentment. Not only is this normal, but it is very healthy to examine the ideal of a person’s life, with the reality of that life.

            This week’s Parsha is Shoftim. Moshe has completed his lecture on the values of monotheism and covenant. Now he begins telling B'nai Yisroel all the nitty gritty details of living a Jewish life within this community. What a downer! B’nai Yisroel is inspired and ready to enter into Eretz Canaan and begin living the life in the land that God had promised their ancestors. They are now ready to begin fulfilling the dream that allowed them to survive centuries of slavery. So what does Moshe Rabeinu do? He brings them crashing back to reality. Now they will listen and understand laws concerning war, punishments for idolatry, choosing a king, jurisprudence, priestly entitlements and unsolved murders. Moshe gives B’nai Yisroel a healthy dose of reality by supplying all the details required to uphold the Covenant.

            One of these laws is rather curious yet serves as a reminder how important it is to maintain a balance between dreams and reality, between the idealism of our youth and the cynicism of age. V’Hayah Ch’shivto Al Kisei Mamlachto V’Chatav Lo Et Mishnei HaTorah Hazot – And it shall be when he sits on the throne of his kingdom, he shall write for himself two copies of this Torah in a book… V’Haitah Imo V’Kara Vo Kol Yemei Chayav Lema’an Yilmad L’yirah et Adonai Elohav – It shall be with him and he shall read from it all the days of his life, so that he will learn to fear the Lord his God, Lishmor et Kol Divrei HaTorah Ha’Zot V’Et HaChukim Ha’Eilah La’Asotam – to observe all the words of this Torah and these decrees, to perform them, so that his heart does not become haughty over his brethren and not turn from the commandment right or left, so that he will prolong years over his kingdom, he and his sons amid Israel (Deut. 18:18-20). The king must write and maintain two Sifrei Torah. The “personal” Torah must be carried with him wherever he goes: meetings, wars, benefit dinners etc. The Torah must always remain physically near his heart. However the second Sefer Torah sits in the treasure room as a pristine copy, as a benchmark. This “benchmark” Torah remains enclosed, protected, and untouched. The king may consult it, but this pristine copy never leaves the sanctuary. How brilliant! The “personal” Torah that is carried around eventually becomes worn, the letters fade, and the parchment may even tear. This would most likely occur unbeknownst to the king. Yearly, the king must lay his “personal” Torah beside the “benchmark” Torah. There, in the inner chamber, the two Torahs are checked against each other. Then if there are any discrepancies in the “Personal” Torah, the king must make the necessary corrections. The king’s “personal” Torah must reflect the purest and highest standard. Through daily wear and tear, through the compromises necessary to manage a kingdom, the king must regularly check to make sure that he has not gradually drifted away from the “Pristine” or “Benchmark” Torah.

            This is the ultimate form of personal “Checks and Balances”! Instead of waking up one morning twenty or twenty five years later wondering “What’s become of me”; Judaism understands that we all make compromises. Sometimes we may even, unfortunately, compromise our integrity our values and our own sense of propriety. Sometimes our drift from the ideal is not even that pernicious. Sometimes we just slowdown or get sidetracked. However Judaism is about behavior that expresses our relationship with each other and with God. Like a king that needs to periodically check his “personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”, we also must check our “Personal Torah” against the “Benchmark Torah”. Certainly the process may be uncomfortable, and yes, there is the danger of becoming so self-absorbed that we become paralyzed from action. There is the very real danger that we can be hard on ourselves that we lose sight of the good. Thankfully, the process occurs on a regular enough basis that we don’t become too  paralyzed that we can’t enjoy a round of golf, watching the kids swim, eating a steak dinner with the family and appreciating the quiet blessings of another birthday.

Peace

Rav Yitz

Once We Grew Into Our Shoes, We Told Them Where To Go (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Days Between")

I suppose my wife and I have acknowledged that summer is drawing to a close.  Yes, it still very hot in Toronto. Yes the public swimming pools are still open and full. However this past week, we took our annual drive down to the Pocono Mountains to pick our two youngest children from camp.  We always make sure to arrive after the campers taking the buses have departed. By the time we arrive, the staff and the staff’s children are all that remain. We say hello to some friends, and gather our children. They have already cried the good byes to their friends. By the time we arrive, they are just very tired but ready to leave. This time was no different. I parked the car, my wife ran out to find the children and say hello. I schlepped the duffle bags and loaded the car. When that was finished, I began walking towards the main office, where our children came to meet Mommy. From the distance, it seemed our son and daughter had grown.  They saw me and began running. Our fourteen year old tired ran with her long loping strides. She didn’t look any worse for wear, just tired. Later we found out that she hadn’t slept had been awake for more than 24 hours. Behind the fourteen year old daughter came our twelve year old son. He was running as well. However as he ran, I notice that something kept flapping near his foot which caused him to pay attention to where he place his foot. Some piece of red material was flapping. Now we had purchased a pair of red Nike sneakers prior to camp. When he finally arrived in my arms and we hugged, he took a step back from me and sheepishly smiled. The red material flapping oddly while our son ran towards me was his sneaker. It was torn practically from the sole. It was beyond repair and I asked what had happened. He explained that he tore it while rock climbing.  Seven weeks of camp and he had completely destroyed a new pair of sneakers. He also informed me that he threw away several pairs of pants because they no longer fit. Seven weeks of camp and he had grown enough that he had outgrown some of his clothing. 

This Shabbat we read from Parshat Eikev. This week’s Parsha is Eikev. Here in his second discourse, Moshe explains to the new generation how the second set of tablets that contain the Aseret Dibrot (Ten Commandments) came into being. He explains how God forgave their parents for their idolatrous behavior in regards to the Eigel Zahav (Golden Calf), Moshe explains that B’nai Yisroel’s essential task is to refrain from Idolatry, serve God, worship God, and the nation will be rewarded with water, grass and quality lives. Moshe also reminds B’nai Yisroel that they have nothing to fear when they enter into Canaan and conquer the land even though they maybe outnumbered. God has already, and will continue to protect his people. He did so during the Yetziat Mitzrayim (Exodus from Egypt). He did so when B’nai Yisroel defeated Og and Bashan. As long as B’nai Yisroel keeps its side of the Brit, God will continue to protect his people.

While Moshe recounts the experience at Mt Sinai, now known as Mt. Horeb, he explains that the misfortunes that befell B’nai Yisroel were L’Nastocha LD’aat et Asher Bilvavecha HaTishmor Mitzvotav Im Lo – tests , to know what is in you r heart whether you would observe His commandments or not (Deut. 8:2). While Moshe explains B’nai Yisroel’s recent history in terms of a Divine Test, he makes an odd statement as he cites some of the miracles that B’nai Yisroel may have overlooked or took for granted. Simlatcha lo Valtah Mei’Alecha, V’Raglecha Lo VaTzeika Zeh Arbaim Shana- Your garments did not wear out upon you and your foot did not swell these forty years (Deut.8:4). Forty years of living in the Wilderness and no one outgrew their clothing nor wore out their clothing or their sandals. Certainly their clothing and sandals were not made with the same high quality material as our son’s sneakers nor his denim jean (that he outgrew). Rashi, the great 11^th century French commentator, offers an explanation base on a literal understanding of the verse. Anenei Kavod Hayu SHafin Bichsutam –The Clouds of Glory would rub their clothes U’MGaHaTzim Otam- and press them, Kmin Keilim M’Guhatzim – like freshly pressed garments. V’Af Ketaneihem Kmo Hayu Gdeilim Haya Gadeil Levushan Imahem – and their young too, as they would grow, their clothing grew with them, K’Lvush HaZeh shel Chomet Sh’Gdeil Imo – like the clothing (shell) of a snail which grows with it. This is not the kind of miracle that one notices and has an awe inspiring moment. Rather this is the type of miracle that one becomes aware of after the fact. Maybe this type of miracle is imperceptible on a day to day basis but over the course of years and decades, looking back, one realizes what took place.  However a more figurative way to understand Moshe’s statement is that the clothes are God’s teachings, God’s commandments, the Torah. Torah, and Moshe’s teachings, by design, are supposed to grow with the person and never become old, worn out or obsolete.

I suppose Nike and Levis and all the other clothing and shoe manufacturers would hate the idea that clothing is synonymous with Torah. After all, Torah is designed to withstand time and space. Clothing manufacturers need children to outgrow their clothes and wear out their shoes. Otherwise there would be no need to buy more sneakers and jeans. I became very aware of this as I closely inspected by son’s shredded sneaker.  As we drove back to Toronto, we passed an outlet mall on the New York State Thruway and bought him another pair of sneaker. I know that his foot hasn’t stopped growing, so we will have to buy more sneakers in another 9-12 months. I told him that I did not want to buy him another pair because he wore them out so quickly but rather because he outgrew them. Maybe he should read and study more since one doesn’t outgrow or wear out his knowledge base like he does with his clothes and his sneakers.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

You Who Choose To Lead Must Follow (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Ripple")

It has been a very busy week. Our sixteen year old daughter returned from six weeks in Israel. Yes, she has grown up and she is exerting her new sense of independence since she arrived. My wife and I have been following the Olympics, and the Presidential campaign. Amid all the news, a 41 year old baseball player was given his unconditional release. Now that is certainly not newsworthy. After all, there are not a lot of 41 year old baseball players who are particularly productive. Alex Rodriguez will receive the remainder of the 27 million dollars that he is owed. However Alex’s team, the New York Yankees explained that while he will no longer play baseball for the Yankees, he will become and “advisor” to Yankee players. He will become a mentor to younger players. Ironically, this is the same Alex Rodriguez that was banned from baseball for a year because he was taking performance enhancing drugs. Superficially, Alex Rodriguez might not be the best choice to be a mentor or advisor to young players. Despite the glaring character flaws, he is reputed to have an incredibly strong work ethic, he loves the game and he has a strong appreciation of the history of the game.  However, make no mistake both Alex and his employer understand that the time has come for the next generation of players to assume the mantle of leadership.

This Shabbat is known as Shabbat Nachamu “Shabbat of Comfort”.  Parhsa V’Etchanan is always the Torah portion that immediate follows after Tisha B’Av.  Certainly after commemorating the destruction of the First and Second Temples, B’nai Yisroel needed spiritual comforting.  Certainly in this week’s parsha, V’Etchanan, Moshe’ reassures B’nai Yisroel of its destiny and in doing so, comforts them. After concluding a brief history of B’nai Yisroel’s wanderings and a gentle rebuke of this generation which is about to enter into Eretz Canaan, Moshe now provides a framework for all the laws he will teach in succeeding weeks.  Moshe presents the Aseret Dibrot, the Ten Commandments to this news generation. Moshe infuses the people with self-respect. He reminds this generation that the entire basis for our nationhood and our relationship to God is avoiding idolatry at all costs. Avoiding idolatry ultimately distinguishes us from the rest of the world. Finally, Moshe reminds the people that if they follow the advice, then everything will go well. From that perspective, Moshe is re-assuring the people that the future is possible and plausible.

Prior to the discourse, Moshe implores God, hoping that the punishment will be rescinded and he could indeed enter the land. Surprisingly, God does not listen to his most humble servant. Instead, Moshe tell us: Vayitaber Hashem- God became angry (Deut. 3:26). Imagine that! For the first time we are told that God actually became angry with Moshe. God has been angry at B’nai Yisroel on numerous occasions. Yet God was never angry with Moshe. Even when Moshe hit the rock (Num. 2: 9-13), we do not read of God getting “angry” with Moshe. God becomes angry at a “dying man’s final request”.  Now, from Moshe’s perspective God tells Moshe to drop the matter. Instead of wasting time trying to walk in Eretz Canaan, God tells Moshe V’Tzav et Yehoshua v’Chazkeihu v’Amtzeihu Ki Hu Ya’Avor Lifnei Ha’Am HaZeh, V’hu Yanchil Otam et Ha’Aretz Asher Tireh – But you shall command Joshua, and strengthen him and give him resolve, for he shall cross before this people and he shall cause them to inherit the Land that you will see. (Deut. 3:28). So Moshe begins strengthening Joshua and his nation by teaching them the law, by providing a framework for observance, a framework for living a life and a framework for raising children. Moshe realized that his time as a leader was winding down. Moshe realized that it was time to let go of his authority. In order to let go, Moshe needed to inform, teach and make sure that his wisdom had been thoroughly passed down to the Joshua and this generation.

Whether an aged retiring professional athlete takes on an advisory role, or a parent/ grandparent nearing the end of life hoping to pass on the final pearls of wisdom, there comes a time when we all have the opportunity to pass wisdom to the younger generation. There comes a time when we all realize that it’s time to step aside. The process is an incredibly selfless. After all, to transmit information and wisdom to the next generation is an acknowledgment that the “mentor”/”advisor” is not part of the future. Instead, the future only depends upon offering strength, wisdom, guidance and an endorsement to future leaders. Then the mentor must step aside and allow the leader to lead.

Peace,

Rav Yitz