The More My Brother Looks Like Me The Less I Understand (John Barlow & Bob Weir- "My Brother Esau")

           With her candidate’s campaign now complete, our daughter needed a rest. When we spoke about her post-campaign plans, I suggested that a two-week quarantine with unlimited wifi, meals served, no chores, access to exercise equipment, cable television, free laundry, and a coffee maker might permit her to relax, catch up on some sleep, as well as her friends. All the while she could professionally network.  By the time her quarantine would end, she could celebrate her birthday and celebrate U.S. Thanksgiving. For our son, his eldest sister’s presence would mean that he wouldn’t be the only child home while we celebrated American Thanksgiving. So, with an opportunity to quarantine, relax, and celebrate her birthday and Thanksgiving with at least one of her siblings,  our eldest daughter arrived home. Thankfully she feels fine.  During her quarantine, our other daughters, (University of Maryland and Israel) have called the two siblings who are here in Toronto. They have had several Whatsapp group video calls. We, the parents,  love watching the four of them speak together or video chat together. As I watch them and listen, I am amazed by their similarities and their differences. I am always amazed that these four nearly adult children who grew up in the same are four different personalities and different perspectives on the world. 

          This week, we read from Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any more different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving blessings, and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak doesn’t depart from the land but rather remains there, growing wealthy. Instead, Yitzchak re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses upon Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. Esav discovers that he lost out on the blessing and he threatens to kill Yaakov. The Parsha concludes with Rivka telling Jacob to go to her brother’s home. She explains to  Yitzchak that Yaakov needs to leave home in order to find a wife. Prior to his departure, Yitzchak wants to bless Yitzchak.  So, prior to his departure Yaakov receives his the blessing of the Brit, the Covenant that God made with Avraham and Yitzchak. This covenantal blessing was never intended for Esav.  Yaakov leaves home. Esav moves away as well and decides to dwell with his uncle Ishmael among the Canaanites.

Two boys grew up in the same home with the same parents and instilled with the same values, went to the same day school, participated in the same extracurricular activities, and shared the same Bar Mitzvah date. Although the parents disagreed as to who was going to be “successful”; by the end of the Parsha, it is quite clear that the blessing that Yitzchak gave Yaakov prior to Yaakov’s departure was always intended for Yaakov. So to some extent, both parents agreed as to who was the rightful inheritor of the Abrahamic Covenant. Right or wrong, the parents had definite opinions about their sons’, their abilities, and their future success.  Much of that opinion is based upon how each child responds to life’s stimuli. The Torah doesn’t really tell us much about their respective youth, Va’Yigdalu HaN’Arim, “And the boys grew up.” (Gen25: 27) R’ Levi said: At first they were like myrtle and a wild rose growing side by side. But when they grew up the former yielded to its natural fragrance, and the latter its thorns. So, for the first thirteen years, both Yaakov and Esav went to school and came home from school. But at the end of thirteen years, one went to houses of study and the other to shrines of idolatry.” (Genesis Rabbah 63:10). The Sifsei Chachamim clarifies that until their Bar Mitzvah, they were nearly identical. However, after their Bar Mitzvah, essential differences became evident. By the time they reached Bar Mitzvah, they now can begin to formulate their own opinions, develop their own attitudes, respond to their likes and dislikes. By the time the boys reach Bar Mitzvah, the parents can see a personality develop and take root. 

          As parents, we always think our perceptions of our children are the best indicators of an outcome.  However, it would appear that parents’ perceptions are not always based upon the context at the time but rather upon an ideal. From Yitzchak’s perspective Esav was a fine son, and worthy of a blessing because he meticulously fulfilled the value of Kibud Av – Respecting the father.  However, as meticulous as Esav was about that particular value, it did not make him fit for The Covenantal  Blessing. Children grow up in the same home but they respond to the stimuli differently, they have different interests, passions, and experiences outside the home which also influence, shape, and stimulate. As parents, perhaps all we can do is leave our arms, homes, and minds open to our children, praising them when they work hard at becoming the best possible version of themselves, and kvelling when they accomplish this.

Peace, 

Rav Yitz 

No More Time To Tell How; This Is The Season Of What; Now Is The Time Of Returning (Robert Hunter & Phil Lesh - "The Eleven")

There are two refrains that I hear quite often as summer draws to an end and the school year appear imminently on the horizon. “The Holidays are early this year!” or “The Holidays are late this year!” Usually, my response is to remind the individual that Rosh Hashanah always begins on time – the first of Tishrei.  Late last week, during a phone conversation with our eldest daughter, we were discussing schedules, holidays and opportunities to see each other.  She explained to me that in a typical campaign year, her busy season begins after Labour Day. By October, she is usually in high gear up until elections, which normally occur on the first Tuesday of November. In the year before a Presidential Election, she becomes very busy as the fall progresses into winter and State Primaries and Caucuses begin in February throughout the rest of the winter and into the spring. She explained that the earlier the Jewish Holiday, meaning as close to Labour Day as possible, the more convenient. This year she complained because the Holidays occur during the first 3 weeks in October when her office working at a top speed nearly 18 hour days 7 days/week. That pace will continue until the end of November and take a few days for the U.S. Thanksgiving and then resume once again.

This week’s Parsha is the Parsha Nitzavim. According to the Aggadah, this the recounting of Moshe Rabeinu’s last day of life. Unafraid of his imminent death, he gathers his family: Rosheichem, Shivteichem, Zikneichem, v’Shotreichem, Kol Ish Yisroel, Topchem N’Sheichem V’Geircha Asher B’Kerev Machanecha Meichotev Eitzecha Ad Sho’eiv Meimecha – The heads of your tribes, your elders, and your officers, all the men of Yisroel; your children, your women, and the stranger who is in the midst of our camp, from the woodchopper to the one who draws water (Deut. 29:9-10). Moshe imparts his last vestiges of wisdom to his children, his people. Moshe wants to make sure that everything is in order when he dies and Joshua takes over. Moshe truly has been blessed. He has had the blessing of old age, and here God has granted him the gift of saying goodbye, in perhaps the most wonderful fashion. God has commanded Moshe to say his goodbyes and impart the final vestiges of wisdom.             

As the text ties up the “loose knots”, as Moshe makes the final preparations for his death; there seems to be a foreboding sense that Moshe’s final moments may not be so pleasant and peaceful and the future of the people may not be so bright after all.  Moshe says a lot of rather discouraging things on his “deathbed”.  He explains that later generations will fail to heed the Torah and they will be exiled. He explains that sad things will happen. He explains that bad things will happen.  Moshe does not offer some saccharine type of hope that suggests not worrying and everything will be OK. Rather Moshe offers a type of hope that empowers each and every individual, empowers each and every generation and, just as importantly Moshe tells them the secret to survival. HaMitzvah HaZot Asher Anochi M’Tzavcha HaYom For this commandment that I command you today Lo Nifleit Hee Mimcha It is not hidden from you V’Lo Rechoka Hee and it is not distant. Lo Bashamayim Hee It is not in the heavens… Ki Karov Eilecha HaDavar Me’od B’Ficha U’Vilvavcha La’Asoto  Rather the matter (the word) is very near to you – in your mouth and your heart – perform it (Deut. 30:11-14). Moshe secret was that Torah is not inaccessible. Anyone can do it. You just have to learn it and then do it. Moshe reminded those who were listening that his words, his teachings are not beyond anyone’s capacity.  Sforno, the great Renaissance Rabbi and Commentator, explains that Teshuva, repentance, and Torah is within the individual’s and the community’s capacity; there is no need for a prophet to bring heavenly messages if the community behaves the way it is supposed to behave. The community only needs someone to teach the community what to do and how to do it. Then the community will be informed enough as to how to behave appropriately. Moshe taught them that Torah was portable. It could go anywhere in the world as long as there was someone to learn it and teach it. 

As we spoke, she acknowledged that Jewishly speaking, she understands that the Jewish Holidays are always on time. I validated her and acknowledge the chaos that is her professional life during a presidential campaign.  I reminded her that not only are the holidays on time but they can never be too late because Torah is on time and it is never too late to “to observe and learn Torah”. Torah is always around and available. Amid this chaos, we understand the Torah is close by. Although I could hear her eyes rolling at me over the phone and she patronizingly and lovingly said, “Yes, Dad”; I gently reminded her that amid this chaos we are given the opportunity to continue learning, to spiritually prepare for holidays and participate in the Holidays. Again, I heard her say “Yes, Dad”, but this time she added that she knew of several minyanim nearby and will make plans with friends.   As chaotic as it seems, Moshe’s re-assuring words that the Torah is designed to be accessible to everyone, everywhere and all times, suggests something even more profound; that amid the chaos, God is just as accessible.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

If You Get Confused, Listen To The Music Play ( Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia,& Bill Kreutzman - "Franklins Tower"

Our eldest daughter has been quite busy these past few months and for the next week, until election- day she has explained that she is so busy that 18 hour days are quickly becoming normal. She explained that she no longer works in her office but now with days before the Presidential Election, she works in something called “The Boiler Room”, and a “War Room”.  When we speak, and she can barely afford 2 – 3 minutes of precious time, during which I ask her about the polling in Pennsylvania, and how Philadelphia and it suburbs look. She is responsible for voter registration and turnout for parts of Philadelphia and it suburbs. I have started to sense that she has grown tired of her family calling, nervous and anxious for her, and how the result will impact upon how well she is perceived to have done her job. Has voter registration increased? Has more people voted? Was voter turnout high? Were the precincts she was responsible for, voting resoundingly Democratic or Republican. Amid all the chaos that is her job, amid the chaos of her boss’s emails, she has reminded me of an August 25^th Bloomberg Market report “Citigroup claims that a “Trump victory in November could cause a global recession,” and at the very least lots of political and economic uncertainty with trade partners and countries with whom the U.S. has treaties and cooperative relationships. Whenever my conversations get a little too long and she becomes a little impatient, our daughter reminds me that she is trying to prevent the chaos and that I really need to hang up and let her get back to her work.

This Shabbat we read from Parshat Noach. Comprised of two distinct narratives; both deal with the theology of chaos and confused boundaries. First we read the story of  Noach, God’s disenchantment with creation and mankind’s behavior, the instruction to build the Teva (the Ark), the Flood as punishment for mankind’s unethical behavior, the covenant made between God and Noach and the resulting offering to God, and then an odd story about Noach’s drunkenness and one’s sons inappropriate behavior. The second distinct narrative is also about chaos and confused boundaries. This time mankind confuses boundaries and trying to build a tower up to the heavens. The result is that God scatters mankind across the earth by making mankind speak numerous languages and making communication difficult.

While both narratives can conceivably stand alone; both narratives are related. As manifested in the previous Parsha, God is a god of creation and order. Therefore, in order for God to destroy, order must be removed or chaos must become firmly entrenched.  Meivi et HaMabul Mayim AL HaAretz L’Shacheit Kol Basar Asher Bo Ruach Chayim Mitachat HaShamayim Kol Asher Ba’Aretz Yigvah – I will bring the flood of waters upon the earth  to destroy all flesh, in which is the breath of life from under heaven, and everything that is on earth shall die. Clearly from the text there must be other kinds of floods besides water, otherwise we do not need to be told that this particular flood is one that involves water. The message is that God will punish creation by instituting chaos for a period of time. Later in Chapter 11 as mankind begins building a tower up to heaven God becomes disappointed again. Vayomer Adoshem  Hain Am Echad V’Safah Achat L’Chulam V’zeh Hachilam La’Asot V’aAtah Lo Yibatzeir Mei’hem Kol Asher Yazmu La’Asot – Behold the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do; and now nothing will be withheld from them which they have schemed to do. Hava Neirdah V’Navlah Sham Sfatam Sher lo Yishmu Ish Sfat Rei’eihu – Come let us go down and there confound their language, that they may not understand on another’s speech. Instead of the flood of water, God created the flood of language and confusion the flood of a cacophony.

The flood of chaos and the struggle to handle chaos is part of our human condition. The first narrative, the Noach narrative, teaches that chaos is now part of creation and in a sense a type of punishment. The second narrative, the Tower of Bavel, teaches us that chaos is part of the everyday human life. It is part of our task as human beings as we struggle to elevate ourselves from the animal aspect of our existence to the spiritual aspect of our existence that we create order from chaos. To do so is a Godly endeavor. To do so allows us to transcend the physical world. Who would have thought that a presidential election, no matter how un-likeable each candidate might be, could be distilled into chaos and order? I just hope that no matter what happens, our daughter can continue to maintain order in world amid the chaos that she will be experiencing over the next several days.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Don't Give It Up You Got An Empty Cup Only Love Can Fill (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Comes A Time")

Among the more interesting experiences that my family and I have enjoyed while living in Toronto, has been experiencing U.S. Presidential campaigns from outside the U.S. First, living outside the U.S. during this time allows for a bit of an escape as opposed to the national obsessing that has been occurring south of the border.  Second, by living outside the U.S, we have wider perspective as part of our “calculus” for voting is now influenced from the perspective of how the rest of the world views the candidate. Third, by being outside of the political storm we can see things a little clearer than those who live in the storm. We have watched the debates. We have spoken frequently to our eldest daughter who has been living in the storm that is a Presidential campaign for nearly 18 months. As we watch the campaign from across the border, there have been numerous times where we have shaken our heads in disgust as this campaign has seemed to be a race to the gutter as Donald Trump has demeaned the process in terms of his language, his behavior, and his lashing out at numerous constituencies including fellow Republicans. However what has been particularly revealing is the insight he has given us into his character. As the campaign has evolved, as incendiary statements have been made, as he didn’t engage in any preparation for the first debate, as tapes were discovered in which he discussed groping women, as he missed an opportunity to apologize and prepare for the second debate, and has polls indicate diminished support for him, Trump began to do something unprecedented. As the futility of campaigning rose, he began planting the seeds of a “rigged election”, that the “fix” was in, and if he anyone but Trump wins, then the new president-elect out to be considered illegitimate. That idea, an idea that he had been sharing at numerous “Trump Rally’s”, now became explicit this week during the third debate. Trump’s stunning closing comment now attempts to spread his sense of futility of his campaign to the futility of the entire voting/electing process.

This Shabbat is known as Shabbat Chol HaMoed Sukkot, the Intermediate Sabbath of Sukkot holiday, one of the Five Scrolls is traditionally read.  On this particular Shabbat, we read from Sefer Kohelet, the scroll of Ecclesiastes. According to the tradition, Shlomo HaMelech, King Solomon, towards the end of his life, wrote this Megillah, this scroll. Tradition has this perspective because the language is not one of optimism but rather realism. This is a person who as “seen it all” – Ein Kol Chadash Tachat HaShemesh – There is nothing new under the sun! There is a certain harsh realism and a certain sense of harsh optimism.  V’Saneiti et HaChayim Ki Ra Alai HaMa’aseh SH’Na’aseh Tachat HaShemesh Ki HaKol Chavel – So I hated life, for I was depressed by all that goes on under the sun, because everyone is futile. The author provides us with a no holds barred sense of comfort. He does not coddle us. He does not baby us. He doesn’t offer any artificially sweetened philosophy, or anything will dull our pain, diminish our disappointment, or ease the fear of death. Rather the author shoves our faces in “reality”, telling us that our labor seems futile, and if it is futile what is the point of it?

Kohelet, the Preacher, explains that life does indeed seem futile. He shares his frustration that he has toiled and had to give to those who haven’t toiled. He shares his frustration that his work, his business seems futile because when the day ends, he is still worrying about his business at night. Kohelet seems to have no internal peace, no ability to appreciate the moment, nor does he seem to have a mechanism that allows him to find a sense of peace amid his perceived futility. So, Kohelet, the Preacher, begins to search, and begins to experiment with the various lifestyles, hoping that he will be able to find internal peace, that he will be able to develop an ability to appreciate the moment.  Certainly has we read the twelve chapters of a man striving for wisdom; we gain insight into his character. Kohelet shares with us what he has learned. V’Ra’iti Ki Ein Tov Mei’Asher Yismach Ha’Adam B’Maasav Ki Hu Chelko – I observed that there is nothing better for man than to be happy in what he is doing; Tov M’Lo Chaf Nachat Mimlo Hafnayim Amal UrUt Ruach -  Better is one handful of pleasantness than two fistfuls of labor and vexation of the spirit; Al T’Vaheil Al Picha V’Libecha Al Yimaheir- Be not rash with your mouth and let not your heart be hasty to utter a word before God,  Ohev Kesef Lo Yisbah Kesef – a lover of money will never be satisfied with money;  Tov Lishmoah Ga’Arat Chacham M’Ish Shomeah Shir K’silim – It is better to listen to the rebuke of a wise man than for one to listen to the song of fools; and finally Sof Davar Ha’Kol Nishma et Ha’Elohim Y’Rah et Mitzvotav Shmor Ki Zeh  Kol Ha’Adam –The sum of the matter, when all has been considered; Fear God and keep his commandments for that is man’s whole duty.

If there was any one individual who might have thought a system was rigged; it was Kohelet.  His sensed of futility is indeed the modern day version of claiming that the system is rigged. Yet Kohelet is a man of great character, he is honest and comes to a powerful realization. The futility is the struggle to acquire, acquire money, fame and power.  Peace is realized by learning to appreciate the blessing that God had provided. The ability to appreciate is a function of wisdom. Wisdom is function of being able to listen to those have experience. Finally, Kohelet, the Preacher, explains that ultimately, the ability to appreciate the moment, the ability to find peace comes from observing God’s commandments because the commandments are based upon finding holiness, in each moment.   Donald Trump could learn a valuable lesson from Kohelet, and instead of thinking the system is rigged against him, maybe he should be a little more introspective like Kohelet. Maybe, then Trump will realize that his shortcoming are about him rather than everyone around him. Then again, maybe not, Trump doesn’t have character nor the intestinal fortitude that Kohelet does to enter upon such a journey.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

You Who Choose To Lead Must Follow (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Ripple")

It has been a very busy week. Our sixteen year old daughter returned from six weeks in Israel. Yes, she has grown up and she is exerting her new sense of independence since she arrived. My wife and I have been following the Olympics, and the Presidential campaign. Amid all the news, a 41 year old baseball player was given his unconditional release. Now that is certainly not newsworthy. After all, there are not a lot of 41 year old baseball players who are particularly productive. Alex Rodriguez will receive the remainder of the 27 million dollars that he is owed. However Alex’s team, the New York Yankees explained that while he will no longer play baseball for the Yankees, he will become and “advisor” to Yankee players. He will become a mentor to younger players. Ironically, this is the same Alex Rodriguez that was banned from baseball for a year because he was taking performance enhancing drugs. Superficially, Alex Rodriguez might not be the best choice to be a mentor or advisor to young players. Despite the glaring character flaws, he is reputed to have an incredibly strong work ethic, he loves the game and he has a strong appreciation of the history of the game.  However, make no mistake both Alex and his employer understand that the time has come for the next generation of players to assume the mantle of leadership.

This Shabbat is known as Shabbat Nachamu “Shabbat of Comfort”.  Parhsa V’Etchanan is always the Torah portion that immediate follows after Tisha B’Av.  Certainly after commemorating the destruction of the First and Second Temples, B’nai Yisroel needed spiritual comforting.  Certainly in this week’s parsha, V’Etchanan, Moshe’ reassures B’nai Yisroel of its destiny and in doing so, comforts them. After concluding a brief history of B’nai Yisroel’s wanderings and a gentle rebuke of this generation which is about to enter into Eretz Canaan, Moshe now provides a framework for all the laws he will teach in succeeding weeks.  Moshe presents the Aseret Dibrot, the Ten Commandments to this news generation. Moshe infuses the people with self-respect. He reminds this generation that the entire basis for our nationhood and our relationship to God is avoiding idolatry at all costs. Avoiding idolatry ultimately distinguishes us from the rest of the world. Finally, Moshe reminds the people that if they follow the advice, then everything will go well. From that perspective, Moshe is re-assuring the people that the future is possible and plausible.

Prior to the discourse, Moshe implores God, hoping that the punishment will be rescinded and he could indeed enter the land. Surprisingly, God does not listen to his most humble servant. Instead, Moshe tell us: Vayitaber Hashem- God became angry (Deut. 3:26). Imagine that! For the first time we are told that God actually became angry with Moshe. God has been angry at B’nai Yisroel on numerous occasions. Yet God was never angry with Moshe. Even when Moshe hit the rock (Num. 2: 9-13), we do not read of God getting “angry” with Moshe. God becomes angry at a “dying man’s final request”.  Now, from Moshe’s perspective God tells Moshe to drop the matter. Instead of wasting time trying to walk in Eretz Canaan, God tells Moshe V’Tzav et Yehoshua v’Chazkeihu v’Amtzeihu Ki Hu Ya’Avor Lifnei Ha’Am HaZeh, V’hu Yanchil Otam et Ha’Aretz Asher Tireh – But you shall command Joshua, and strengthen him and give him resolve, for he shall cross before this people and he shall cause them to inherit the Land that you will see. (Deut. 3:28). So Moshe begins strengthening Joshua and his nation by teaching them the law, by providing a framework for observance, a framework for living a life and a framework for raising children. Moshe realized that his time as a leader was winding down. Moshe realized that it was time to let go of his authority. In order to let go, Moshe needed to inform, teach and make sure that his wisdom had been thoroughly passed down to the Joshua and this generation.

Whether an aged retiring professional athlete takes on an advisory role, or a parent/ grandparent nearing the end of life hoping to pass on the final pearls of wisdom, there comes a time when we all have the opportunity to pass wisdom to the younger generation. There comes a time when we all realize that it’s time to step aside. The process is an incredibly selfless. After all, to transmit information and wisdom to the next generation is an acknowledgment that the “mentor”/”advisor” is not part of the future. Instead, the future only depends upon offering strength, wisdom, guidance and an endorsement to future leaders. Then the mentor must step aside and allow the leader to lead.

Peace,

Rav Yitz