But You'll Never Find Another Honest Man (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- "Loser")

           I can tell my kids are growing up or are already grown up. No, I am not speaking in terms of age, nor am I speaking in terms of their physical development. I am speaking about their analytical development and appreciation of small details and finer points. One of the things I love to do with my kids and something my father did with me, especially when watching a sporting event, is to determine “turning points”. There may be only one turning point, there may be more. Rarely does something progress in a straight upward slope. Sometimes there is an ebb and flow, more momentum or less momentum, headwinds or tailwinds. Several weeks ago, my son and I watch our favorite college football team play against the then number 1 ranked college team. With our team 91 yards away from the tying touchdown and only 1:48 left in regulation and two-time outs,  I asked my son to see if he could focus upon the key play, the smallest detail,  the key block, the key fake or turning point that either permitted our team to tie the game or lose. As we watched those final 1:48 seconds, I watched my son appreciate the smallest details that allowed our team to successfully move down the field in 1:26 seconds and tied the game in regulation, and ultimately win it in double overtime.     

      

  This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeishev. The focus of the narrative now shifts from Yaakov (aka. Israel) to his most beloved son Yosef. Contextually, Yaakov is at a point in his life where he has finished his spiritual and personal struggles. He now is at a calm and settled point in his life, hence the name of the Parshah: Vayeishev – and he settled. We learn that Yaakov, like his parents, played favorites. He showered Yosef, Rachel’s son, with a beautiful Kutonet Pasim – Coat of Many Colors. Yosef was a bit arrogant. This was manifested in his dreams that portrayed his greatness and subjugated his brothers and his parents to his power. Needless to say, no one appreciated his dreams, neither his brothers who wanted to kill him but instead threw him into an empty pit nor his father who sent Yosef back to his brothers knowing that they were angry with him (Gen. 37:10-14). Yosef is then removed from the pit, sold as a slave, and worked in the home of one of Pharaoh’s courtiers. As a slave, Yosef proved invaluable to the welfare of the Courtier’s business dealings. Yosef managed everything and the courtier profited greatly. The courtier’s wife however was a bit bored and made a pass at Yosef. Yosef put her off and then was accused of sexual harassment. Yosef was sent to prison. While in prison, Yosef helped the warden manage the prison, and the warden did well. Yosef became known for an ability to interpret dreams.

Certainly, it was a “perfect storm”, a chain of events that brought Yosef to Egypt. His brother’s hatred, his Yaakov's favoritism of Yosef, and later Yaakov's aggravation with Yosef contributed to Yosef's winding up in Egypt. The brother’s decision to sell Yosef rather than kill him and the coincidence of the caravan’s arrival all contributed to Yosef’s winding up in Egypt.  However the moment, the turning point in the narrative, that small seemingly minor detail that affected the rest of Yosef’s life was the moment that Yosef, upon instructions from his father, sought out his brother, and got lost.  Vayimtza’eihu Ish V’Hinei To’eh BaSadeh And a certain man found him and behold, he [Yosef] was wandering in the field; VaYishaleihu Ha’Ish Leimor: Mah T’Vakeish? And the man asked him, saying: What are looking for? VaYomer Et Achai Anochi Mevakeish and He [Joseph] said I seeking my brothers. Hagidah Nah Li: Eifo Haim Ro’im.  Tell me I pray, where do they feed their flocks?   VaYomer HaIsh Nasu Mi’Zeh Ki Shamati Omrim Leilcha Dotainah. And the man said they traveled from here for I heard them say ‘Let us go to Dotham. VaYeilech Yosef Achar Echav Vayimtza’eim B’Dotan. So Yosef went after his brother and found them in Dothan. (Gen. 47:15-17). Between the dysfunctional environment of home and the confrontation with his brothers (at the request of his father); exist this very brief but incredibly important conversation between Yosef and an unnamed man. How important is this conversation? Yosef’s entire future, God’s prophesy and covenant with Avraham hinges upon this conversation and Yosef finding his brothers and eventually winding up in Egypt. The turning point in the narrative of Breishit hinges upon an unnamed man giving directions to Yosef. The Talmudic Sages explain that this was not a chance passer-by but an “angel”; a divine messenger of God. 

For the Talmudic Sages, implicitly, this narrative is about God’s involvement in a person’s life.  Certainly, it is human nature to focus upon the big glaring moments: the explanation of a dream, a colorful coat, being thrown into a pit, or being sold. God’s presence or absence may appear to be obvious. For the Sages, the key to a relationship with God was being able to sense God’s presence in the smallest and seemingly innocuous moments like a moment shared with an unnamed passerby who offers directions. The key is for us to be open-minded, and open-hearted enough to see that turning point and have the courage to see where it leads. It may lead to a new opportunity, it may cause us to avoid being in the “wrong place at the wrong time”.  For the Talmudic Sages, this is never happenstance this is evidence of God’s involvement and we must learn to make ourselves aware. Part of Yosef’s growing up involves increasing his awareness of God’s presence. The same can be said for our teenage son. Part of his growing up and maturation process is an increased awareness of those small details, those easily overlooked moments that really are turning points, turning points between feeling blessed or cursed, between hopelessness and hopefulness, or between sorrow and joy.

Peace,

Rav Yitz  

Put Your Gold Money Where Your Love Is Baby; Before You Let My Deal Go Down (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Loser")

            Earlier this week, my wife and I brought our fifteen-year-old daughter to the airport bound for Israel. She joined approximately sixty-five classmates to form “Team Shalva” a participating non- profit sponsor organization for the Jerusalem Marathon. In order to be on the “team” and run in the Jerusalem Marathon, each “team member” committed to raising more than $3000 USD for Shalva, an Israeli non-profit that provides support, education, and training for special needs children and their families.  For the past several months, our daughter asked our family and friends for donations, she babysat, and she ran a winter break camp for little children. She also put in her own birthday gift money that she received from family and friends over the course of the year.  I was curious what her rationale was for contributing her own money. She explained that she did not feel comfortable raising money for a cause if she wasn’t willing to contribute more than just her time. Smiling, she reminded me that I am always telling our children about authenticity and integrity “putting your money where your mouth is” and “being able to walk the walk if you are going to talk the talk”.        

This week we combine the final two Parshiot, Vayakahel-Pekudie, and complete the Book of Exodus. Following the sin of the Golden Calf and Teshuvah (repentance), B’nai Yisroel begins executing God’s instructions for the Mishkan, the Ark, and the Tent of the Meeting. You will recall that when God gave these instructions to Moshe, God started from the middle of the Mishkan – the Aron and worked out to the walls of the Tent of the Meeting.  When B’nai Yisroel begins the building process, it begins with walls of the Tent, and then concludes with the altar and finally the Ark. After the destructive behavior of worshipping the Golden Calf, B’nai Yisroel comes together and shares a common constructive experience bound by a common goal.

 Their goal is to complete the construction of the Mishkan. The common experience is their contributions of raw materials. V’Yavo’u  Kol Ish Asher Nasahu Libo V’chol Asher Nadvah Rucho- Every man whose heart inspired him came; and everyone whose spirit motivated him brought the portion of God for the work of the Tent of the Meeting, for all its labor and for the sacred clothing (Ex.35:21). The Or HaChaim explains that there were types of givers: those whose “spirit motivated them” to give what they could afford, voluntarily and wholeheartedly. However, there was a second category and perhaps an even nobler category of people whose “heart inspired” them to do more than they could afford since their desire to share in the building of the Mishkan was so incredibly powerful. Their desire to undo the damage of the Golden Calf was so strong they were inspired to an even greater degree. Whether part of the first or second category of donors, everyone who gave was considered to have participated in this constructive process. Everyone had an opportunity to repent for the sin of the Golden Calf and for their lack of faith. If viewed as a process, B’nai Yisroel began on the outside of its relationship with God, struggling to connect to God by means of idolatrous behavior.  After its repentance and with the completion of each aspect of the Mishkan and the Ohel Moed; Bnai Yisroel began moving towards the Holy of Holies. They started with the walls of the Tent of the Meeting and finished with the ark. They started where they were capable of starting. However their goal was to be spiritually worthy enough to approach the Aron, and the Ark of the Covenant.

 When a group, a team, a community bound by a common goal, a common purpose or a common desire to experience that which is authentic; then something very special happens. Our people build a Mishkan. They experience a closeness to God that they were unable to experience either as individuals or at a lower level of spiritual development. Our children raise money for a worthwhile cause, participate in a spiritual and physical deed that tests them. They share the experience together and something special happens. They learn not only something about themselves but what it means to be part of something more than just themselves. They understand the importance of not only their personal relationship to God but the community’s relationship to God. The result, of course, is that God will dwell among the community that built the Mishkan and God will dwell among those teenagers who raise the money and run in a marathon for the sake and welfare of others.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

But You'll Never Find Another Honest Man (robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Loser")

We went and visited our eldest daughter. Thankfully she lives in Florida, so our visit coincided with our desire to be somewhere warm and sunny for a few days. During our visit, I received a special treat. I had a chance to watch our daughter at work. She is the Campaign Manager for a women running for the U.S. House of Representatives in a congressional district in Palm Beach Florida. We went to her office and because her brother and sisters needed community service time for school, they spent a few mornings doing volunteer work for their big sister and the campaign. One of the largest components of a campaign is fundraising. I spoke to our daughter and the candidate and asked if there was ever a time when they felt that the campaign could not accept a “campaign donation” from individuals or a Political Action Committee (PAC). Maybe the donor’s beliefs about other issues were totally at odds with the candidate’s positions. Acceptance of the donation would cost the candidate moral integrity and render the candidate as “a flip-flopper” or “pandering”, or without a discernable moral code.  Both our daughter and her candidate explicitly said that they have refused donations when the cost is a sacrifice of personal integrity and moral code. I gave my daughter a look that she has received from me since she was a little girl. She then explained to me that they before they accept a donation, they research the donor in order to make sure that acceptance of the donation doesn’t necessitate a diminishment of or a compromise of integrity. If the research makes a mistake and they find out, our daughter makes sure that the donation is returned right away.

This Shabbat, we read from Parsha Terumah. In it, Moshe has re-ascended the mountain in order to receive the laws, and the blueprint, if you will, for the construction of the Mishkan, the portable tabernacle that will eventually permit B’nai Yisroel to gather, to make offerings to God and to provide a physical dwelling for God. If you are an architect, or if you are an interior decorator, this Parsha goes into tremendous detail about Mishkan’s construction and decoration. Before all the detail are presented for construction and decoration, God commands Moshe to tell B’nai Yisroel that the funding for this vital public works project will come from each individual V’Yikchu Li Terumah Mei’eit Kol Ish Asher Yidvenu Libo Tikechu et Terumati – They shall take for me a portion, from every man whose heart motivates him, you shall take my portion (Ex. 25:2). The holiest spot within the community, the most sacred area is based upon each and every individual apportioning a percentage of their assets to the construction of, decoration of, and maintenance of the Mishkan. How incredibly equitable! Everyone is involved and everyone has a stake in the outcome. There were no “dues” per se. Rather, each individual had to look within him/herself and be brutally honest. Each individual would give as they saw fit. 

          This was a sacred moment between the individual and God. The object was not to give due to social pressure but rather for the holiest of reasons. However, such a process requires tremendous honesty. Such a process requires us to be sure that our outside matches our inside. Such a process forces the individual to “mean what you say and say what you mean”. Such a process forces the individual to not only “talk the talk” but walk the walk”. This message is subliminally hinted at when we read about the design of the Aron, the Ark that is to hold the Shnei Luchot Ha’Brit – the Two Stone Tablets upon which are written the Ten Commandments. V’Asu Aron Atzei Shitim – they shall make an Ark of acacia wood (Ex.25:10).  V’Tzipitah Oto Zahav Tahor Mibayit U’Michutz T’Tzapenu V’Asita Alav Zeir Zahav Saviv – You shall cover it with pure gold, from within and from without shall you cover it, and you shall make on it a gold crown all around (Ex. 25:11).  It makes sense that the outside of the Ark is covered with gold since that will be viewed by the people. However, what is the reason for lining the arc with pure gold from the inside? Rabeinu Chananel, the 11^th century North African Talmudist, comments that this arrangement symbolized the Talmudic dictum that a Torah scholar must be consistent; his inner character must match his public demeanor, his actions must conform to his professed beliefs. However, there is no reason to limit such sentiment to Torah scholars. Kol Ish Asher Yidvenuy Libo Tikechu et Terumati – every man whose heart motivates him you shall take my portion. Every man should be motivated to be consistent. Every person’s actions should conform to his/her professed beliefs, and his or her beliefs should be expressed by behavior.

            Every day, we face the struggle to keep the pure gold that exists within our insides the same as the pure gold that exists on the outside. The object is to never tarnish that which lies within nor that which lies without. So we should seize every opportunity to express holiness, whether Mitzvot l’Ben Adam L’Chavero (Mitzvot that pertains between people) or Mitzvot L’Hashem (Mitzvot that pertain to God.  If we neglect those opportunities, we tarnish the most precious aspect: our souls’ purity and holiness. When I asked our daughter why she is so rigorous in checking the donors and demands that her staff must be so rigorous in checking the donors; she smiled and reminded me that her father is a Rabbi, that she grew up in an observant home, and, more than anything, she understood that personal integrity is based upon behaviour both in the home and outside the home. We don’t behave in a manner or associate with those who tarnish our integrity, our code, and our “brand”. That is to say, their insides, match their outsides. She continued to explain that this rigor is one the few ways the voters can determine a candidate’s integrity and authenticity. As I listened to my daughter and watched her work, it became clear that she learned this lesson well.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

And You Know I'm Only In It For The Gold (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Loser")

           During the past week, there has been an incredible amount of excitement in our home. The excitement began late last week and thought that have been several down moments, the excitement has once again peaked early this week. Just how much excited is our home? Well excited enough that even our two teenage daughters are now emotionally involved. At first I thought it was the Canadian election which occurred earlier in the week. Nope, it wasn’t the election. I thought maybe it was the recent Democratic debates knowing that our eldest daughters’ boss, Mrs. Clinton had done so well. I was wrong. The excitement has been a result of the Toronto Blue Jays.  Every day I hear from my kids, who is going to the games. Every day at least one child provides an injury report or some statistic. While Toronto is not our family’s favorite team, we have all been caught up in the excitement. If there is such a thing as Blue Jays fever; we have a mild case of it.  It’s not just the kids who are excited, all of our friends only talk about “last night’s game”, tickets for an upcoming game, “did you see that inning” or “did you see that home run”. However amid all the excitement and hoopla, I was speaking to one friend of mine who watches each pitch and each at bad with such concern and anxiety. Interestingly enough it is the exact same way I watch the Yankees when they are in the playoffs. Admittedly there is something to be said about watching a fun team and not have the anxiety since I don’t live and die with each pitch or at bat. So my friend and I were talking about the Blue Jays. In order to take his mind of off the current pitching match-up, he wanted to discuss the future. He was concerned about those players that are “Free Agents” and might decide to leave for greener pastures, more money, or bigger TV market with more commercial possibilities. I validated his concern and told him, there will be those who leave because they want more money, or longer contracts, and there will be those who decide to stay because the situation in Toronto is a good fit for them.

           This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Eventually, Abram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. Lot, Abram's nephew, and Abram decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household.

                The process by which Abram and Lot separate, provides a rather fascinating example of leaving a good situation in pursuit of a better deal. After Abram and Lot’s men quarrel Abram desperately wants to keep the peace. Abram also understands that Lot needs to separate himself from Abram. So he gives Lot a choice: Al Nah T’Hi Mriva Beini UVeinecha U’Ven Ro-ai U’Ven Roecha Ki Anashim Achim Anachnu – Please let there be no strive between me and you, and between my shepherds and your shepherds for we are kinsmen. For Abram, he views Lot as part of the family, part of the team but also understand that Lot must decide if he wants to remain. Abram gives Lot a choice of land. VaYisa Lot et Einav VaYar et Kol Kikar HaYarden Ki Chula Mashkeh- So Lot raised his eyes and saw the entire plain of the Jordan that it was well watered; VaYivchar Lo Lot Eit kol Kikar HaYarden VaYisa Lot MiKedem. -So lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and Lot journeyed from the east; VLot Yashav B’Arei HaKikar BaYe’Ehal Ad S’dom – and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain and pitched his tent as far as S’dom. Why did Lot choose the plain of Jordan and the cities in that area including S’dom and Amora? Obviously Lot did not know that these place were going to be destroyed in the future. Rashi, commenting on the word MiKedem, quotes the Midrash Tanchuma and understand the word as Kodem, not east but rather “Earliest One” or “Primordial One” (meaning God). Lot left the morality of Abram and the holiness of God and settled near S’Dom. R’Shimshon Rafael Hirsch comments on Lot’s lifting his eyes  and explains that he was led by his sense of sight rather than his sense of spirituality and God’s presence. As a result, Lot chose a fertile, rich land that had great commercial potential and would yield Lot great wealth.

                So Lot, the free agent, left Abram, left a great situation, and settled for greener pastures, more money and a much worse situation. I reminded my friend that unfortunately, most players are much more like Lot and will take the more money and be put in a worse situation or a losing situation rather than less money to be on in a great situation or a winning team.  Cynically, I think it is human nature to “follow the money”. However this attitude is not only limited to Lot, or free agents in professional sports. This sort of thing happens in business all the time and quite frequently it serves as the deciding factor for many of our own career decisions. However, we should always be reminded that sometimes it is better to be in the right situation, playing for a winning team and earning less, as opposed to trying to reap financial satisfaction in an unhealthy or negative environment.

Peace,

Rav Yitz