And There's Nothing Left To Do But Count The Years (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Black Muddy River"

  This past Mother’s Day seemed bittersweet. When our four children were younger, they would wake up early and help me make coffee and breakfast for mommy. Carrying breakfast, cards, and presents, we would walk into mommy’s bedroom, wake her up,  serve her breakfast in bed, and give her Mother’s Day cards and gifts. Well, we are down to one child in the house, our grade 12 son who turns 18 in August and will be studying in Israel for the 2022/23 academic year. So this past Mother’s Day, our son brought in a hard drive and showed mommy, family “movies” of when he and his sibling were much younger. Instead of breakfast in bed, at mommy’s request, we went out for breakfast. As we sat outside in the Toronto spring sunshine and my wife looked at our son and commented that this was the last Mother’s Day with any of her children home to share the day. She verbalize what we both have known the day we became parents. Our kids grow up and then eventually leave home. Instead of viewing that as an accomplishment, that we raised four kids who have turned out to be pretty decent young adults, she lamented that she felt old. I am five years older than my wife, so I chuckled and reminded her that she neither looked old and suggested that instead of looking at our respective ages through the lens of “old” or “young”, we look at our age in terms of quality, what we have achieved in terms of raising our children. If we do that, then our jobs as parents have not concluded but rather entered a new stage and a different type of parent/child relationship. 

           This Shabbat we read from Parsha Emor. In the four chapters that comprise Emor, the first deals with the Kohanim and their very different way of striving for holiness as compared to the rest of the B’nei Israel. For example, because of the Kohen’s function within society, he must remain in a perpetual state of purity. He is restricted in terms of who he can marry. He is restricted in terms of whom he mourns. He cannot go to a cemetery. He cannot make sacrificial offerings if he has physical abnormalities. The second chapter reminds B’nai Israel that all animal offerings must be blemish-free. These offerings must come directly from the individual making them and not from “the hand of a stranger” (Lev. 22:25). Both chapters deal with the holiness of certain people, the Kohen and his family, and certain animals, those designated for sacrificial offerings. The third chapter of the Parsha deals with the designation of Holiness in regards to seasons and the calendar including Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot, Rosh Hashanah, and Yom Kippur. Then the fourth chapter offers a narrative in which the son of an Israelite woman and an Egyptian man gets into a fight with another Israelite. During the fight, the son pronounces the forbidden name of God and is charged with blasphemy.

          Since the second night of Pesach, the Jewish people have been counting the Omer. The commandment to bring the Omer and count the days in which the Omer is brought occurs in Lev.23:9-16. The first five of the seven total verses explain what an Omer is, how it is prepared, and how the offering is made. The final two verses, 23:15-16 actually discuss the Mitzvah of counting the Omer.  וּסְפַרְתֶּ֤ם לָכֶם֙ מִמָּחֳרַ֣ת הַשַּׁבָּ֔ת מִיּוֹם֙ הֲבִ֣יאֲכֶ֔ם אֶת־עֹ֖מֶר הַתְּנוּפָ֑ה שֶׁ֥בַע שַׁבָּת֖וֹת תְּמִימֹ֥ת  תִּהְיֶֽינָה׃ And from the day on which you bring the sheaf of elevation offering—the day after the sabbath—you shall count off seven weeks.עַ֣ד מִֽמָּחֳרַ֤ת הַשַּׁבָּת֙ הַשְּׁבִיעִ֔ת תִּסְפְּר֖וּ חֲמִשִּׁ֣ים י֑וֹם וְהִקְרַבְתֶּ֛ם מִנְחָ֥ה חֲדָשָׁ֖ה לַיהוָֽה׃ you must count until the day after the seventh week—fifty days; then you shall bring an offering of new grain to the LORD.  The counting occurs in terms of days, fifty days “from the day in which you bring the sheaf offering”. That counting is represented by an absolute number: “Today is 3 days”, “Today is 12 days”, or  “Today is 30 days”. We also count in terms of weeks, “you shall count off seven weeks” reflected in “2 weeks and 3 days” or “4 weeks and 2 days”.  The first counting method reflects a number reflecting the number of days. However, the second method suggests that the number of days appears within the context of a week. 

          Sefirat HaOmer (Counting The Omer) focuses on two aspects of counting. First, we are always interested in numbers, in data, in the idea of the linear.  There is a starting point and there is an endpoint. , We began counting four weeks ago and we will conclude in approximately three weeks hence. We count in terms of days as well as weeks. In doing so, we acknowledge that the result of counting is twofold. First, we are reminded that counting yields a piece of data, a number. Second, we are reminded that the data, the number indicates how far we have come and how far we still have to go. From that perspective, we can evaluate how far we have come how far we have to go, and the quality of the journey. As my wife and I both realize that this was the last Mother’s day with any of our children living with us, we both understood how far we have come. We can only hope that Mother’s Day in the future, while different, will still remain meaningful and purposeful just like those Mother’s Days when our kids would help me make breakfast, and serve mommy breakfast in bed.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

And There's Nothing Left To Do But Count The Years (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia -"Black Muddy River")

          My wife and I approach our children’s milestones differently. Normally, when our children reach a milestone, my wife will reflect not only on the child’s achieved milestone, but will explain that the milestone is also an indicator of her growing older and feeling older. I don’t need my children’s milestones for me to feel old. I feel old. However, we both agree, that when we experience our children’s milestone moments, we can’t help but reflect. So earlier this week, we celebrated our youngest daughter’s 18th birthday. We had a zoom birthday party for her. Her classmates lined up in their cars, honking and singing happy birthday. A birthday video was made by her siblings that included birthday messages from family and friends. During dinner, as we sat around the table and talked about our daughter, she pointed out that turning 18 meant that she could vote. I reminded her that she now had a responsibility to be informed and educated about both types of issues: issues that matter to her and issues that matter to other people. Then, for a moment, I waxed philosophical by reminding her that turning 18 is all well and good but what matters is the quality in which one lives or the context of those years.
          This Shabbat we read from Parsha Emor. In the four chapters that comprise Emor, the first deals with the Kohanim and their very different way of striving for holiness as compared to the rest of the B’nei Israel. For example, because of the Kohen’s function within society, he must remain in a perpetual state of purity. lHe is restricted in terms of who he can marry. He is restricted in terms of whom he mourns. He cannot go to a cemetery. He cannot make sacrificial offerings if he as physical abnormalities. The second chapter reminds B’nai Israel that all animal offerings must be blemish-free. These offerings must come directly from the individual making them and not from “the hand of a stranger” (Lev. 22:25). Both chapters deal with the holiness of certain people, the Kohen and his family, and certain animals, those designated for sacrificial offerings. The third chapter of the Parsha deals with the designation of Holiness in regards to seasons and the calendar including Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot, Rosh Hashanah, and Yom Kippur. Then the fourth chapter offers a narrative in which the son of an Israelite woman and an Egyptian man gets into a fight with another Israelite. During the fight, the son pronounces the forbidden name of God and is charged with blasphemy.
          Since the second night of Pesach, the Jewish people have been counting the Omer. The commandment to bring the Omer and count the days in which the Omer is brought occurs in Lev.23:9-16. The first five of the seven total verses explain what an Omer is, how it is prepared, and how the offering is made. The final two verses, 23:15-16 actually discuss the Mitzvah of counting the Omer. וּסְפַרְתֶּ֤ם לָכֶם֙ מִמָּחֳרַ֣ת הַשַּׁבָּ֔ת מִיּוֹם֙ הֲבִ֣יאֲכֶ֔ם אֶת־עֹ֖מֶר הַתְּנוּפָ֑ה שֶׁ֥בַע שַׁבָּת֖וֹת תְּמִימֹ֥ת תִּהְיֶֽינָה׃ And from the day on which you bring the sheaf of elevation offering—the day after the sabbath—you shall count off seven weeks.עַ֣ד מִֽמָּחֳרַ֤ת הַשַּׁבָּת֙ הַשְּׁבִיעִ֔ת תִּסְפְּר֖וּ חֲמִשִּׁ֣ים י֑וֹם וְהִקְרַבְתֶּ֛ם מִנְחָ֥ה חֲדָשָׁ֖ה לַיהוָֽה׃ you must count until the day after the seventh week—fifty days; then you shall bring an offering of new grain to the LORD. The counting occurs in terms of days, fifty days “from the day in which you bring the sheaf offering”. That counting is represented by an absolute number: “Today is 3 days”, “Today is 12 days”, “Today is 30 days”. We also count in terms of weeks, “you shall count off seven weeks” reflected in “2 weeks and 3 days” or “4 weeks and 2 days”. The first method of counting reflects a raw number with a starting point and ultimately and ending point. However, the second method suggests that the number of days appears within the context of a week. The HaKtav VeHaKabbalah, a 19th century German Torah commentator explains that the counting is לָכֶם֙ (for you), for your benefit; that is to say an opportunity for introspection. Introspection requires context.
          Sefirat HaOmer focuses on two aspects of counting. First, we are always interested in numbers, in data, in the idea of the linear. There is a starting point and there is an endpoint. Regarding counting the Omer, we started on the second night of Pesach and we conclude on the fiftieth day. We do the same thing with a milestone birthday. Our daughter turned 18 a few days ago. Someone turns 50 or 70 or 100. The number has merit. The number in it of itself is important. Numbers tell us how many have been infected with Covid 19 and numbers tell us how many have died. However we also count in terms of context, we take stock, we reflect. We count Omer in terms of Shabbat because the context of a week, the context of our day to day lives is always measured in terms of Shabbat. All those infected had a context and a narrative. All those who died leave loved ones. All those who died lived lives within a context, a narrative. It’s not only that our daughter turned 18. Eighteen means something; she can vote. Eighteen means that my wife and I can appreciate the context of her 18 years in terms of her growth and development into a young woman who is off to Israel for her gap year. Eighteen means that she is a University student and as we reminded her, eighteen means she is a high school graduate and is now starting on a path, and that path comes with responsibilities, privileges, and expectations. There is a context to her age and she began to appreciate it after the zoom birthday party after her friends drove by and honked their car horns. She began to appreciate it when we sat together and looked at her pictures over the years and recognized the context of her life.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Delilah She Gained Old Samson's Mind When First He Saw This Woman, She Looked So Fine (Learned from Rev. Gary Davis - "Samson & Delilah"

Raising teen-age girls has made me extra sensitive to issues concerning self-image, peer pressure, social cliques, and body image. Try as we might to create an environment where are daughters will learn the tools to deal with the perils of social cliques and peer pressure; all the social network apps that our daughter “must be on” make our job that much more difficult. Try as we might to create an environment where deeds, substance, effort and the content of character receive more praise and are held in much higher regard than the superficiality of physical appearance and fashion; television, fashion magazines and the desire to fit in and be socially accepted makes our job more difficult. So what does our fifteen year old do this week heighten my concern over the tumultuous nature of teenagers, their self-image, popularity and sense of self-worth. She decides to run for Vice President of Student Council. All week, she and several friends have been making posters and videos, creating slogans and putting together a campaign. With the advice of her older sister who is actually in the political campaign business, the candidate has spent the week speaking to as many of the students as possible.  All of her siblings have been helping on this campaign. So from that perspective it is nice see our children working together so that one can accomplish something. On the other hand I know that running for office in Student Council is not exactly the same as running for office at the municipal, provincial/state or federal level. Running for office at the student council level is far more brutally honest. It is strictly a popularity contest. There are no real issues per se. And certainly one can’t “buy” the election with Super-Pac money or millions of small on line donations. What makes student council politics a brutal endeavor is the fact that is a popularity contest. So who are the teen age girls that tend to be the most popular? That’s right, the girls with the most pleasant and appealing appearance tend to be considered popular. They might not necessarily be well liked, but everyone know who they are. Needless to say, I can’t help but notice the irony of the week. Our daughter who we raise to have a positive self-image spent the week participating in a school activity that focuses upon those very qualities that can demean self- image.

This Shabbat we read from Parshat Emor. The four chapters that comprise Parsha Emor focus on the various aspects of Perfection. First the Torah focuses upon the importance of the spiritual perfection and purity of the Kohen. He must remain in a perpetual state of purity. He is restricted in terms of whom he can marry. He is restricted in regards for whom he can mourn. He cannot go to a cemetery. He cannot make sacrificial offerings if he has physical abnormalities. The second of the four chapters reminds B’nai Yisroel that when approaching God with an offering, the individual must be spiritually pure and perfect and so must the offering. These offerings must come directly from the individual making them and not from “the hand of a stranger” (Lev.22:25). The third chapter of the Parsha deals with the perfection and the purity of time. Time is define as perfect in the season follow an order, the holidays such as Shabbat, Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are designated to come in a particular order. That order is both pure and perfect since time and the designation of “Sacred” time comes from God. The fourth chapter speaks about maintaining purity and the perfection of physical space in this case the Mishkan, and all that is in the Mishkan. The Torah even deals with perfection and purity of human relationships and the punishments meted out when that perfection, purity and holiness is violated. In a sense, this last chapter reminds us of God’s charge to B’nai Yisroel.

Like running for student council places an emphasis upon physical appearance as it relates to popularity; the Torah places an emphasis upon the physical appearance of the Kohen as it relates to his spiritual purity and eligibility of serving as the Kohen Gadol.  The last eight verses (21:16-24) explain all the physical abnormalities that exclude the Kohen from assuming the position of Kohen Gadol. Blemishes, blindness, being lame, having any  broken bones, bad skin, abnormally long eyebrows, a blemish in his eyed, are but a few of the physical attributes that make a Kohen ineligible for the position of Kohen Gadol.   How can the Torah, with its primary focus upon Mitzvot (commandments) and the importance of deeds and the Kavanah, the intentionality behind those deeds, now focus upon something as superficial as appearance? Sefer HaChinuch comments: “At the root of the precept lies the reason that most actions of people are acceptable, appealing to the heart of those who see them, in accordance with the eminence of those who do them. For when a man is distinguished in his appearance and good in his actions, he will find grace and good understanding (Prov. 3:4). With all that he does in the eyes of all who observe him. Should he be, however the opposite of this- inferior in his form, or peculiar in his limbs then eve if he is correct in his ways, his activities will not be so attractive to the hear…” (Emor 275). As upsetting and politically incorrect as that sounds, the comment and the Torah text infer a keen understanding of human nature. While watching the physically flawed Kohen conducting the ritual slaughtering in a perfectly correct manner; our attention would be upon the flaw in appearance, our Kavanah our intention would be lacking and the sacrificial process would fail.

While this line of reasoning doesn’t offer any solace to the Kohen with the physical flaw or abnormality, and I don’t for a second agree with it; it is important to remember that the goal is making sure that the offerings are accepted and the Kavanah (the intention) behind the offering is pure and focused. The common person making the offering would lose focus by concentrating more upon the physical abnormality or flaw instead of the offering to God.  Thankfully we don’t have a Third Holy Temple. We have evolved beyond animal offerings as a means engaging God in a sacred relationship. However, human nature has remained fairly consistent.  All these decades later the Home Coming King and Queen are still very good looking and popular, and running for Student Council remains a popularity contest as well. Maybe what really matters is not winning a popularity contest but rather, putting oneself out there as the offering, external physical flaws and all, and showing people the good and the pure within. Maybe having the courage to run and be exposed to the vulnerability of losing truly is a measure of the content of character. Maybe if the voters see that in a candidate, then running for Student Council isn’t so bad.

Peace,

Rav Yitz