The Holy On Their Knees, The Reckless Are Out Wrecking, The Timid Plead Their Pleas (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Days Between")

          Forgetting the fact that it’s October and that means baseball playoffs and eventually the World Series; There is something different during the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The ten days in between the Jewish New Year and the Day of Atonement are known as the Aseret Yamei Teshuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance. Maybe what makes these days different are its purpose. During these ten days, we are supposed to ask forgiveness from others; this process culminates with Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) when we ask forgiveness from God. Maybe what makes these different is that they are between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. These days between mark a ten-day transition from one point in time to another. These days in between are truly a journey, not necessarily in terms of geography but spirituality. Each day is another leg in that spiritual journey culminating in a 25 hour moment (Yom Kippur) where we are as close to God as humanly possible. I become keenly aware of that journey very early in the morning when I attend Selichot services well before dawn breaks. My children are aware of it when during quiet moments they ask for forgiveness from each other or from me or my wife. These days in between are a time where we are supposed to find spiritual clarity. For it is spiritual clarity that will allow us to ask to be forgiven and it is spiritual clarity that allows us to have the chutzpah and the courage to strive towards holiness and God.

            In this week’s Parsha, Va’Yeileich, Moshe is now experiences for the last time a tremendous moment of clarity. However of all the moments of clarity including: the Burning Bush, the Revelation at Sinai, the Personal Revelation when he saw the back of God while defending B’nai Yisroel following the episode of the Golden Calf; it is the moment of death to which we can all relate. It is at the moment of impending death that Moshe has perfect clarity. He sees and understands the anguish that his children will experience as they drift towards and away from their Covenant with God. He sees all that his life has been and he recognizes that while his life will be no more, there will be closure. Ki Yadati Acharei Motie Ki Hashcheit Tashchitun v’Sartem Min HaDerech Asher Tziviti Etchem V’Karat Etchem Ha’Ra’Ah B’Acharit Hayamim Ki Ta’Asu et Ha’Rah B’Einei Adoshem L’Hachiso B’Ma’Asei Y’deichem – For I know that after my death you will surely act corruptly, and you will surely act corruptly, and you will stray from the path that I have commanded you, and evil will befall you at the end of days, if you do what is evil in the eyes of HaShem, to anger Him through your handiwork (Deut.31:29). We should note that closure does not necessarily mean that the content of the closure will be positive, however, the process of closure is always positive. 
          Our sages are adamant about the vital importance of closure. If a person engages in Tshuvah, a repentant return to God, and Vidui, confession even if the moment before death it is tantamount to a person who has returned to living a life of Mitzvot. In a moment of clarity, certainly such a moment exists at death, Moshe has the opportunity to make that moment holy, sanctified, an un-wasted moment. We seek forgiveness from God, and we seek forgiveness from family and friends. Mostly, it seems to me, that during these ten days we honestly look at ourselves and assume that we have hurt others instead of being shocked when we find out that we are capable of hurting another. The ability to engage in this process known as Shuvah, the process of returning to the holiest aspect of our being, requires great clarity. Sometimes clarity occurs during a beautiful autumn day. Sometimes clarity comes on a starry night. Sometimes clarity comes sipping coffee at sunrise. Sometimes clarity comes at childbirth. Sometimes clarity comes when you tuck your children into bed and wish them sweet dreams. Sometimes clarity comes at the death of a loved one. Sometimes, clarity comes at one's impending death.
            I don't expect my teenage children to anticipate the moments when they will have a moment of clarity. Nor do I think they know when they will have those moments of clarity. However, they have them. Frequently it will occur when they can relate to some experience in a personal manner, or the moment may occur during a particular class. Sometimes they will have the moment when they hear about the difficult moments that friends or acquaintances may have. The important thing is that when it happens they are aware. When they ask me about my moments of clarity. I know it happens when I hear about the difficulties of others when I visit a person in the hospital when I listen to a person describe the life of a loved one who recently passed away. However, being aware of these days in between, these transitional moments presents us with greater opportunity to have moments of clarity and with greater clarity comes a greater perspective. 

Peace
Rav Yitz

If My Words Did Glow With The Gold Of Sunshine (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Ripple")

When I was young and I behaved badly; my parents would criticize, castigate and lecture me about my poor behavior or misguided judgment. It didn’t happen frequently, but it happened enough. While they meted out the punishment, I would frequently hear things like: “this is going to hurt me a lot more than it will hurt you” or “Do you think that I enjoy this?” After the criticism and lectures and the punishment would be meted out, their shoulder would slouch, their head would hang. Yes I was punished, but they were exhausted.  Yes I would be punished, but they would be exhausted. However I never understood how or why my parents were more deeply affected or more tired after such an episode. Recently I had a fight with our eldest daughter. What we fought about is irrelevant. However there I was, criticizing her behavior and lecturing her about her misguided judgment. During the course of my leveling criticism at her, I sensed that she stopped listening although she was courteous enough to stay on the phone. But I was pained and exhausted having lectured someone who just didn’t seem to listen nor validate a word I said.

This Shabbat we begin the final book of the Torah, Sefer Devarim, the Book of Deuteronomy. This fifth and final book begins with the Parsha of the same name Devarim. This book is completely apart from the previous four books. Moshe criticize and even berates B'nai Yisroel while simultaneously recounting their recent 40 year history. He mentions the various places they stopped along the course of their 40 journey. He reminds them that what should have been an eleven day journey continued another 38 years because of their misguided judgment. Moshe reminds them that their misfortunes are a direct function of their poor behavior. In the first five verses Moshe points out their current location: M’Ever HaYarden – The Other Side of the Jordan. That is too say they are currently on the wrong side of the Jordan (east of their promised land) due to their poor behavior. Moshe subtly reminds them that it is because of them, that he (Moshe) is destined to remain M’Ever HaYarden – the Other Side of the Jordan.  The Parsha begins with the words Eila HaDevarim Asher Diber Moshe El Kol Yisroel B’Ever HaYarden – These are the words that Moshe spoke to the All of Israel on the Other (wrong) side of the Jordan.  Moshe shares his perspective of the Israel’s most recent history. In so doing, Moshe portrays himself as pained, exhausted, and aware that he nearing the end of his role as leader of Bnai Yisroel.

The Midrash points out the significant of the words Devarim (words). It has the same consonants as Devorim which means “bees”.  Moshe’s criticism, his words, his lecture, and his castigation of Kol Yisroel of all of Israel are words that sting. Moshe was not being “nice”. He shared his perspective, his emotions 38 years of pent of frustration because of Israel’s poor behavior and lack of judgment. Yes, the words stung. However assuming no allergies, we all know what happens when we are stung by a bee. Yes we get stung. We have some discomfort. However the bee dies. Moshe will grow weary, exhausted and eventually die at the end of Devarim, after he has shared his stinging words. The Talmud points out that Bilaam was the Moses for all the other nations. When he finally got around to cursing B’nai Yisroel by getting the Midianite and Moabite woman to have illicit relations with Bnai Yisroel, we are not told that Bilaam is so exhausted from the enterprise. We are not told that Bilaam was worn out and eventually died because he leveled so much hate and vitriol upon Bnai Yisroel. No, it’s Moshe’s critical words that leave Moshe old, cranky, exhausted and eventually dead. Why was Moshe so affected by his own words? The Midrash explains that deep down, Moshe’s criticism was done out of love and concern for the welfare and future welfare of the Bnai Yisroel. If he were indifferent then he wouldn’t have been as affected. Moshe was hardly indifferent. Rather he cared so much he was willing to lose his "stinger" and with it his vigor and vitality.

Well, I am not close to 120 years old. However I will be turning 48 in a few months. It took me all this time and a fight with my daughter for me to have greater sympathy and empathy for my parents. The words, the criticism, and the lecture left me physically and emotionally exhausted. Of course it did; I was “talking at” my daughter. I was “lecturing at” my daughter”, and I could not sense if my words were getting through.  They probably were not. Maybe I should have “talked with” my daughter, “spoken with” my daughter, “discussed with” my daughter and I would have been less physically and emotionally drained like my stinger had been taken out of me.   I hope that she understood that the effort made through the words, the criticism and the lecture are a direct function of my care and concern for her.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

With hope in our hearts, with trust in our eyes - Robert Hunter, Merle Saunders "Resurrection Rag "

Watched the Golden Globes the other night. Incredibly, I saw only one of the movies that were nominated for best picture. That must indicated something. I am not sure what, well I have an idea. My eldest daughter, the college student, watched with us. She had taken a film class at university so she had not only seen most of the movies and even felt qualified and compelled to offer insight about most of the movies. Among the big movie winners in the Golden Globes was The Social Network. The movie was based upon the founding of the FaceBook, the most popular social networking website of all time. How popular is FaceBook? Well it is now not only a website but because of FaceBook the noun "friend" has become a verb as in: "Some high school classmate of mine 'friended' me even though we couldn't stand each other when we were in High School". The premise of the Face Book and its billionaire founder Mark Zuckerberg was to create an on line community, to reconnect with old acquaintances as well as develop new and perhaps 'virtual' friends. The tag line for the movie was "You don't get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies". I am not such a FaceBook person. I rarely go on it. My wife finds it to be an incredibly easy way for her to stay in touch with her friends across North America and Israel. What is so interesting about FaceBook is the facility with which web based communities have been established and flourished. The web based community is fascinatingly simple. People with a common interest in something, in anything join. It doesn't matter if its gardening, cookie baking, parenting, intermarriage, farming or being an alumnus of a particular university. If you have a computer and an interest, you can find like minded people and join a community. Its a perfect scenario. Everyone is on the same page, the same interest, the same passion (otherwise they wouldn't have joined the site FaceBook group), and the same desire to connect with other like minded people. Doesn't that sound so perfect? Doesn't that sound so ideal? Actually, it strikes me as rather limiting. The thing that binds these FaceBook groups together is a rather limited thread of interest (whatever that thread of interest maybe). Not only is it a limited thread of interest, but it strikes me that it requires very little personal investment or commitment on the part of the individual member. Perhaps that is the larger problem with the virtual world. It is virtual! If I don't like it, I don't have to enter into the Face Book group, I don't have to log in, I can easily ignore, or even drop out, and just as easily find another group.

This week we will read of the incredibly powerful, confusing, somber moment when Bnai Yisroel stood at the foot of Har Sinai and experienced revelation. We will read of the moment when this former group of slaves, must now find another way of creating commonality and a shared experience that will allow them to build a community. We will read of the moment when each individual that stood at Sinai now had the opportunity to become part of something much bigger and more holy than him/herself. However, unlike the ease with which we can come and go from a FaceBook group, there was an enormous commitment made by both God and the Jewish People at Sinai, a commitment that was neither flimsy or "fair-weathered". Prior to the revelation at Sinai, Moshe's father in-law, Yitro - a Midianite priest offers wonderful advice and an equally powerful argument for his advice. Im Et Ha'Davar HaZeh Ta'Aseh V'Tzivcha Elokim V'Yachalta Amod V'Gam Kol Ha'Am HaZeh Al Mkomo Yavo V'Shalom If you do this thing and God Shall command you then you will be able to endure, and this entire people, as well, shall arrive at its destination in peace. (Ex. 18:23. ) "The Thing" that Yitro mentions was his advice to re-organize the community to listen and judge people's conflicts. Moshe cannot spend the whole day listening to and adjudicating peoples problems and the people cannot stand in line all day waiting to get their conflicts solved. Yitro explains that some people should be educated and trained to adjudicate simpler and basic conflicts and the really difficult issues would come before Moshe. After Moshe heeded his father in-law’s advice, we read the second half of the Parshah, the Revelation at Sinai. Throughout this narrative, the focus is upon the people, and Moshe’s ascending and descending the mountain. G-d’s instructs the Amcha, “the people” to prepare for Revelation. Three times God tells Moshe to inform B’nai Yisroel of everything that transpired between them. Moshe connects “the people” to G-d. Three days, B’nai Yisroel prepared for their “destination”. The “entire people” was in the camp, and they shuddered. Then Moshe brought the people from the camp toward God. (Ex 19:16-17). When presented with God’s covenant, Va Ya'anu chol Ha'Am Yachdav, VaYomru Kol Asher Diber HaShem Na'Aseh - the entire people responded together and said, ‘everything that God has spoken we will do!”(Ex 19:8) The narrative continually emphasizes that Revelation was not solely between God and Moshe. If it were, then Moshe’s role as teacher, prophet and adjudicator of law would be overwhelming. No, Bnai Yisroel must be involved in the process. B’nai Yisroel must experience some aspect of Revelation. B’nai Yisroel must be active participants in Revelation. They were. They willingly and unanimously responded. B’nai Yisroel’s unanimous response obligates them as responsible participants. Also their participation and unanimous response indicates that they share a common vision and purpose. Perhaps each individual experienced something different, but they all realized that in that individual experience was great commonality with everyone else at Sinai.

Yet the experience wasn't a virtual, it wasn't web based. It wasn't with one person and then reported to a bunch of other people. Neither did it come easy. There was work involved in order to prepare for it (three days), there were rules as to how this moment would be experienced (they could not touch the mountain or go up the mountain) and there was a moment where a comittment needed to be made and verbalized. This wasn't something that was a passing interest so they joined a group. This was a demanding experience which in turn demanded a profound commitment, a commitment that was more than an interest in something or even a common past experience. No, this commitment had to be based on the opportunity to continually renew the commitment everyday as well as to pass it on to the next generation. Being part of such a group might not be so perfect, nor agreeable like a FaceBook group. However because it demands us to be the best we can, to constantly learn and to pass this along to the next generation; it seems that these are the ingredients that are necessary to build a community that transcends time and space more so than a FaceBook Group.

Peace,
Rav Yitz