The Holy On Their Knees, The Reckless Are Out Wrecking, The Timid Plead Their Pleas (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Days Between")

          Forgetting the fact that it’s October and that means baseball playoffs and eventually the World Series; There is something different during the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The ten days in between the Jewish New Year and the Day of Atonement are known as the Aseret Yamei Teshuvah – the Ten Days of Repentance. Maybe what makes these days different are its purpose. During these ten days, we are supposed to ask forgiveness from others; this process culminates with Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) when we ask forgiveness from God. Maybe what makes these different is that they are between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. These days between mark a ten-day transition from one point in time to another. These days in between are truly a journey, not necessarily in terms of geography but spirituality. Each day is another leg in that spiritual journey culminating in a 25 hour moment (Yom Kippur) where we are as close to God as humanly possible. I become keenly aware of that journey very early in the morning when I attend Selichot services well before dawn breaks. My children are aware of it when during quiet moments they ask for forgiveness from each other or from me or my wife. These days in between are a time where we are supposed to find spiritual clarity. For it is spiritual clarity that will allow us to ask to be forgiven and it is spiritual clarity that allows us to have the chutzpah and the courage to strive towards holiness and God.

            In this week’s Parsha, Va’Yeileich, Moshe is now experiences for the last time a tremendous moment of clarity. However of all the moments of clarity including: the Burning Bush, the Revelation at Sinai, the Personal Revelation when he saw the back of God while defending B’nai Yisroel following the episode of the Golden Calf; it is the moment of death to which we can all relate. It is at the moment of impending death that Moshe has perfect clarity. He sees and understands the anguish that his children will experience as they drift towards and away from their Covenant with God. He sees all that his life has been and he recognizes that while his life will be no more, there will be closure. Ki Yadati Acharei Motie Ki Hashcheit Tashchitun v’Sartem Min HaDerech Asher Tziviti Etchem V’Karat Etchem Ha’Ra’Ah B’Acharit Hayamim Ki Ta’Asu et Ha’Rah B’Einei Adoshem L’Hachiso B’Ma’Asei Y’deichem – For I know that after my death you will surely act corruptly, and you will surely act corruptly, and you will stray from the path that I have commanded you, and evil will befall you at the end of days, if you do what is evil in the eyes of HaShem, to anger Him through your handiwork (Deut.31:29). We should note that closure does not necessarily mean that the content of the closure will be positive, however, the process of closure is always positive. 
          Our sages are adamant about the vital importance of closure. If a person engages in Tshuvah, a repentant return to God, and Vidui, confession even if the moment before death it is tantamount to a person who has returned to living a life of Mitzvot. In a moment of clarity, certainly such a moment exists at death, Moshe has the opportunity to make that moment holy, sanctified, an un-wasted moment. We seek forgiveness from God, and we seek forgiveness from family and friends. Mostly, it seems to me, that during these ten days we honestly look at ourselves and assume that we have hurt others instead of being shocked when we find out that we are capable of hurting another. The ability to engage in this process known as Shuvah, the process of returning to the holiest aspect of our being, requires great clarity. Sometimes clarity occurs during a beautiful autumn day. Sometimes clarity comes on a starry night. Sometimes clarity comes sipping coffee at sunrise. Sometimes clarity comes at childbirth. Sometimes clarity comes when you tuck your children into bed and wish them sweet dreams. Sometimes clarity comes at the death of a loved one. Sometimes, clarity comes at one's impending death.
            I don't expect my teenage children to anticipate the moments when they will have a moment of clarity. Nor do I think they know when they will have those moments of clarity. However, they have them. Frequently it will occur when they can relate to some experience in a personal manner, or the moment may occur during a particular class. Sometimes they will have the moment when they hear about the difficult moments that friends or acquaintances may have. The important thing is that when it happens they are aware. When they ask me about my moments of clarity. I know it happens when I hear about the difficulties of others when I visit a person in the hospital when I listen to a person describe the life of a loved one who recently passed away. However, being aware of these days in between, these transitional moments presents us with greater opportunity to have moments of clarity and with greater clarity comes a greater perspective. 

Peace
Rav Yitz

Lately It Occurs To Me What A Long Strange Trip It's Been (Robert Hunter, Phil Lesh, Bob Weir, Jerry Garcia - "Truckin'"

Our sixteen year old daughter is in Israel this summer. I have tried very hard not to be one of those parents who speaks to his/her child all the time. I consciously decided that I would deliberately leave her alone. I wasn’t going to “What’s App” her, or call her. In fact, before she left, I told her that I wasn’t going to call her or reach out to her at all. If she wanted to call me she could otherwise I wanted her to be on her own figuring things out for herself. To her credit, she has only called me on Fridays. Given the time difference, she calls me right before Shabbat (Israel time). This means she is calling me around the middle of the day on Friday. Lately it so happens that I happen to be playing golf when she calls. Our conversations have fallen into a bit of a pattern. She calls, she wishes me a “Good Shabbos”. I ask her how her week was, and how she is feeling. Then I ask, what must be very difficult questions because she has a hard time answering. The question seems simple enough to me. “Where were you this past week? What did you see?” She breathes deeply and the lack of sleep that she accumulated all week is readily apparent. She quietly begins with an “I don’t remember”. She follows that up with the name of a place followed by one sentence of what she saw. Honestly it is like pulling teeth. Both her mom and I remind her that perhaps it would be a good idea to write it down where she was and what she saw so that way she will have an easy way to remember this very special journey.

This Shabbat, we read from Parsha Matot/Masei. These are the final two parshiot of Sefer BaMidbar (Book of Numbers).  Like the end of most books, these parshiot tie up numerous loose ends. It ties up the loose ends of the narrative such as how to deal with the Midianites following episode with Pinchas, the daughters of Tzelophchad and issues of inheritance, as well as the borders of Eretz Canaan, and the Cities of Refuge. All these final issues must be dealt with since, from a narrative perspective, B’nai Yisroel is spiritually and physically ready to cross the Yarden River and enter into Eretz Canaan. B’nai Yisroel is about to realize the Brit, the covenant that God made with the Avot: Avraham, Yiztchak and Yaakov.

Whenever an individual, a group, a community or a people stand on the precipice of a realized goal; looking back upon the journey only makes sense.  Whenever an individual, a group, a community or a people experience anxiety about the ability to handle future unknowns; looking back at past lessons also seems to make a lot of sense. We look back upon the journey for a variety of reasons. First we look back upon the journey in sheer wonderment; we cannot believe we have traveled so far and finally achieved. Second, we look back upon the journey in order to provide context and meaning for all those who joined in the journey towards the middle or the end. Third, we look back upon the journey as a series of opportunities that were necessary in order to realize the stated goal. Fourth, we look back knowing that if we overcame past obstacles and fears, then we should be able to overcome future anxieties, obstacles and fears.  Eilah Masei V’nai Yisroel Asher Yatzu M’Eretz Mitztrayim L'tzivotam  B’Yad Moshe v’Aharon – These are the journeys of the Children of Israel, who went forth from the Land of Egypt according to the legions under the hand of Moshe and Aharon … V’Eilah Maseihem L’Motzaheihem – And these are the their journeys according to their departures. (Num. 33:1-2) God commanded Moshe to keep a record of their travels according to their Maseihem - destination. This is means of recording based upon positive expectations, when there were no travails, issues or problems. Moshe also kept a record of their travels based upon Motzaheihem their departures, when there were travails, issues and great difficulties, when people murmured against God, against Moshe etc. Now that B’nai Yisroel stands on the brink of entering Eretz Canaan, all the experiences, both positive and negative gave B'nai Yisroel an opportunity to learn Faith.  The journey and all that was experienced during that 40-year journey was necessary in order to arrive at this point in time.

No, our daughter’s six week journey is not as dramatic as the 40 year journey of an entire people. Her six week journey is not comparable to a people evolving from slavery to freedom nor from people hood to nationhood. However over the course of six weeks, our hope is that during the course of her travels, during the course of her journeys and departures, she will have learned about herself. We hope that when she returns, she has grown more comfortable being herself. We hope that she is more immune to peer pressure and more intellectually curious. Although only sixteen, we hope that her journeys and departures have afforded her a greater perspective of what is important, what is not important, what deserves worry and what should be ignored. In that regard, the journeys and the departures of B’nai Yisroel serve as a symbol of the numerous journeys and departures of each individual’s life.

Peace,

Rav Yitz