Learn To Speak, Speak With Wisdom Like A Child (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Foolish Heart")

          For the past six weeks,, our twenty-year-old daughter has endured physiotherapy for her July ACL knee surgery. To her credit, she has been incredibly dedicated throughout her knee rehabilitation. So several times a week, I drive her. I bring her there, take a walk, pick her up, and drive her back home. We get to talk a lot about the surgery, the actual rehab, the exercises, her experience, frustration with the healing process, and a host of other things, including Covid 19, when she will head to Maryland for university and politics. After we return home, we take a short walk and practice what she was doing in physio. I show her a technique for a certain motion with her knee or her hip and she watches and listens. Then she follows my instruction and asks, “How did you know to do that? You aren’t a physiotherapist.” No, I am no physiotherapist,  but I have had enough leg injuries and gone through enough physio, that I learned through experience. So, I smiled and explained to my daughter, that I have learned a few things based upon my own experiences.

          This week we read from Parsha Ki Tavo. The Parsha begins with Moshe explaining the laws that are specific to B'nai Yisroel’s entry into the Land.  He reminds them of the laws of first fruits, and tithing.  Moshe reminds them that there is a powerful link between God, B'nai Yisroel, and the Land. Each needs the other.  Moshe then describes the ritual specific to this generation that will symbolize their acceptance of the Torah and the covenant.  As they cross the Jordan River, they would inscribe two stones with Kol Divrei HaTorah HaZot BaEir Heiteiv – You shall inscribe on the stones all the words of this Torah well clarified.” Then the stones would be covered with plaster in order to protect the inscriptions. Moshe then reminds B'nai Yisroel that they are now an Am Yisroel– a Nation and no longer B’nai Yisroel – Children of Yisroel.  With that change of status comes responsibility, and Moshe lists the blessings and the curses that will result depending upon Am Yisroel’s behavior.  Moshe concludes his passionate plea to fulfill the covenant by giving Am Yisroel a brief history lesson. He reminds them that they left Egypt and saw all the signs and wonders (they didn’t, rather their parents and grandparents experience the Exodus and witnessed the plagues). Moshe reminds them that he let them for Forty years, and they didn’t eat bread nor drink wine, rather they experienced the miracle of the Manna. He reminds them of battles they fought and won and finally he reminded them they were ready to begin their new lives in the land. 

          Moshe also reminds them that if they listen, they will be blessed. If they fail to listen and fail to live up the covenant, then they will be cursed and sent into exile. V’Haya Im Shamoah Tishmah B’Kol Adoshem Elokecha - It shall be that if you hearken (surely listen/obey) the voice of Hashem, your God, - Lishmor et Kol Mitzvotav Asher Anochi Mtzavcha Hayom - to observe, to perform all His commandments that I command you this day, Untancha Adoshem Elokecha Elyon Al Kol Goyei Ha’Aretz - then Hashem, your God, will make you supreme over all the nations of the earth. (Deut. 28:1)  Rashi explains that the force of this emphatic doubling of the verb ShaMA-listen. “If you take it upon yourselves, it will become easy for you, since it is only the beginning that is hard.” Rashi, and the Talmud Sages before him,  offers a psychological truth about observance and about anything new for that matter. At first, the action may prove daunting and perhaps even overwhelming. However, as the action is repeated, it becomes easier and easier and almost second nature. Rambam (Maimonides) commented that “the more man is drawn after the paths of wisdom and justice, the more he longs for them and desires them (Code, Teshuva 6:4) However it is not enough to listen, but rather one must listen emphatically, that is, internalize what has been listened to and then used.

Whether it is observing Mitzvot or just listening to "Dear Old Dad", our daughter learned this most valuable lesson. She can whine, and mope, but if she just listens to me, her life will actually be OK,  Of course, like B’nai Yisroel, it is all predicated on listening, observing, and then consciously acknowledging that it actually works.  Sometimes,  learning from another person's experience can be an incredibly useful means of education, and managing life. Well, good luck with that!

Peace,

Rav Yitz 

Recall The Days That Still Are To Come (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- "Crazy Fingers")

Recently we attended a family function with aunts, uncles, great-aunts, great- uncles, cousins and grandparents. It always amazes me to watch my children with this extended family.  My three children could be talking to the same great aunt, or cousin or grandparent. Inevitably, each of my children will connect to that relative in a different manner, walk away with a different experience, and have a different opinion. Each child has the same parents, grows up in the same house, lives by the same rules, and has the same “relative status” as the other children Vis a Vis the great aunt, or the grandparent. However each child is fundamentally different and each relative relates to each of my child in a different manner. Certainly, each child has his/her own personality as does the other relative. The result is that each child will develop their own relationship with their grandparents, their aunts, their uncles, and their great aunts and great uncles.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Bechukotai, the last Parsha in Sefer VaYikra, the Book of Leviticus.  We are told of the reward that awaits us for following God’s Torah. We are told of the punishment if we treat God’ Torah B’Keri – in a cavalier sort of manner or if we are stubborn and fail to observe. These Tochachot, these punishments are laid out in a sets of seven. That is to say, the first series of punishments are meted out. We are given the opportunity to change our behavior. If we fail to do so, then the second set of Tochachot are meted out and so on and so forth.  After the seventh series of punishments are meted out, we are told that God will ultimately remember the covenant made with our ancestors thereby re-assuring us that the despite these horrible punishments, there will still be a covenant. The Torah provides instructions in case B’nai Yisroel wants to make voluntary offerings and how to value those offerings. Instructions for redeeming firstborn animals, houses, are also presented prior to the conclusion of the Parsha and Sefer VaYikra, the Book of Leviticus.

After the listing of the Tochachot, the punishments, the linguistic patter of the Torah becomes rather strange. Normally God’s covenant made with the three Patriachs is Avraham Yitzchak V’ Yaakov. They start with the father, then the son and then the grandson. The three are usually lumped together as a type of triad.  However after the punishments are described,  we read: V”Zacharti et Briti Yaakov, V’Af et Briti Yitzchak, V’ Af et Briti Avraham Ezkor V’Ha’Aretz Ezkor – I will remember My covenant with Jacob, and also My covenant with Yitzchak, and also My covenant with Avraham will I remember, and I will remember the land ( 24:42). When reading these words, they sound out of order. Indeed they are out of order. When we think of the Avot, the Patriarchs, we think of them beginning with Avraham. We also think of them as a list of one unit, Elohei Avrham, Elohei Yitzchak’ V’Elohei Yaakov. There is no “Et” in between which would grammatically make each single patriarch an individual item in a list as opposed to single grouping. Why does the Torah do this now? Keeping in mind that this verse appears immediately after the extremely harsh punishment that was to be meted out if B’nai Yisroel fails to observe God’s statutes and laws; according to the Or HaChayim two issues are involved. First, the confession of guilt helps reduce the severity of the afflictions to which B’nai Yisroel was subjected. Second, God invokes each Patriarch as an individual and not as a group, in order to restore B’nai Yisroel to its former status. So first God would invoke his covenant with Yaakov, if the behavior was deemed beyond the merit of Yaakov, then God invokes his covenant with Yitzchak. If that doesn’t work then God invokes the merit of Avraham.

While the covenant with each Patriarch was essentially the same, each Patriarch had his own relationship with God. The covenant meant something slightly different to each Patriarch. Each Patriarch embodied a certain Midah, a certain characteristic that made him worthy of the Covenant. Ultimately B’nai Yisroel should also embody all the Midot of the patriarch in order to make us worthy. However even if we embody one of these qualities, one of these Sacred qualities embodied by our Patriarchs; we too become worthy of the relationship and the covenant. However we will only connect to God in our own way, and in a way that is sacred and meaningful to both God and ourselves. That unique connection makes it possible for us to avoid behaving in a manner that is Keri- cavalier with God’s commandments. The same lesson holds true with our children. We related to them as individuals and each one of them relates differently to me and mom. They relate differently to each relative so that way each relationship is unique and has its own merits and strengths.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Still I Know I Lead The Way, They Tell Me Where I Go (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Estimated Prophet")

          Apparently, here in Canada they are gearing up for an election. Signs supporting one candidate or another are all over the lawns of people’s homes.  The news radio station has mentioned polls regarding the support for the three major political parties: Conservative, Liberal, and NDP. I have even heard some commercials that support Prime Minister Harper and the Liberal nominee, Justin Trudeau. Listening to the commercials has been a real education. One comments that the other guy is not yet ready for the job. One comments that the other guy is out of touch with the common working class guy.  Like most things Canadian, the commercials are civilized, there is nothing that is outrageous, and there is nothing that is extreme. Even when these candidates are interviewed, they are now ridiculous one liners, no insults, nor personal attacks. It is so boring. Meanwhile, there are 6 months before the first Presidential Primary in the United States and 14 months from the Presidential election. The signs are out. The insults have been hurled like a food fight at camp. The ridiculous and outrageous statements have been made and will continue to be made including building a fence between the United States and Canada as a way of protecting America’s borders from all those illegal Canadian immigrants. Candidates have been classified as “losers”, “low energy”, “liars” and “dangerous”. On one hand this theater of the absurd is very entertaining. On the other hand there are large numbers of the American electorate that really believe much of the drivel, much of the outrageous statements, the false assumptions about the current issues, as well some candidates policies and solutions that contradict the Constitution. Yes, American politics may be more entertaining. However there is strand of the American electorate that is easily led towards the stupid and the extreme.

            This week's Parsha is Ki Tavoh. For the past several Parshiot, Moshe has been listing and explaining all the precepts and laws. Last week's Parsha and the first part of Ki Tavoh explain the rewards. We will inherit the land; we will keep the land. Our enemies will be rendered weak. We will be fruitful and multiply. However the second half of the Parshah explains all the curses that would befall us if we neglect to observe these laws. Every curse, of course, is the diametric opposite the previous blessings. So if we were promised bountiful harvests and many children, then our curse will be drought, famine, and bareness. Traditionally, the Aliyot that contain the curses are read in a softer voice. However as horrible as these curses are, we must understand that it is up to us. We can either follow these laws or not, and as a result we will bear the consequences of our actions. This is not necessarily a bad lesson for us as well as our children to learn. We are responsible for our actions, and we must bear responsibility for the consequences of those actions.

            While there are all kinds of curses, one curse in particular I find interesting given the fact that Moshe Rabeinu, the leader of B’nai Yisroel, a “political insider”, is the transmitter of these curses. Arur Mashgeh Iveir Ba'Derech, Va'Amar Kol Ha'Am Amen - Accursed is one who causes a blind person to go astray on the road. And the entire nation said 'Amen" (Deut. 27:18). If we read this literally then we are talking about a guide or a seeing-eye dog that would lead the blind astray. However this curse is symbolic. We know that Torah is a light and the word Derech (way) is usually in combination with the Way of the Lord (God's Laws). On a metaphorical level, the curse is upon those leaders of a community that causes the less knowledgeable to go astray. If that knowledge causes those who are blind (re: those who are in the dark or without light) to go astray, then that leader should be cursed. Implicit to that statement is that the one who causes the blind to go astray sees the light, has knowledge and teaches or guides the community away from God. The Talmudic Sages had their own understanding of this curse. "If there are two teachers, one who covers much ground but is not exact, and one who does not cover much ground but is exact, Rav Dimi b. Nehardea maintained that the one who is exact and does not cover much ground is to be appointed. What is the reason? A mistake once implanted (in the mind or in behavior) remains [a mistake].” (Talmud Baba Batrah 21a-b). Our sages essentially understand the first rule in education and leadership and misguiding students, the electorate, and the masses was a serious matter. 

            It is terribly difficult to undo that which has already been incorrectly taught. Maybe a dull, civilized election process that focuses upon guiding the electorate towards informed decisions is better than a highly entertaining yet ultimately destructive process that focuses upon misguiding and misinforming the electorate so that they make uninformed decisions. Or, maybe the electorate should not allow itself to be blinded by the shiny objects of disinformation, pandering and demagoguery and focus upon the light of what is best within itself.

Peace,

Rav Yitz  

So Many Roads I Know; So Many Roads To Ease My Soul (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "So Many Roads")

      With one daughter almost finished with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah circuit, and another one just about to begin the Bar/Bat Mitzvah circuit; I have discovered that the biggest obstacle to “good parenting” are other parents. It is difficult enough to instill our values into our children when I have to compete against popular culture, IPods, and the Internet. Now I have to compete with poor judgment of other parents, the misplaced values of other parents and even sometimes their utter lack of common courtesy. My wife and I learned that lesson the hard way. Not all parents deal with curfews and bedtimes like us, nor are they considerate of other parents rules. With our daughter at a Sunday night Bat Mitzvah party; the parent who was supposed to pick up her daughter and our daughter didn’t bring our child home until 11:30pm. She apologized and said that the “girls were having so much fun, and I didn’t want anyone’s feelings getting hurt by picking them up too early, so I let them stay until the band finished playing.” Her daughter was also dressed as if she were a 25 year old at a singles bar. Needless to say, I pick up our kids from these parties, and our daughter is only allowed to look her age, or maybe a year older. No adolescent daughter is permitted to dress like a 25 year old woman at a singles bar. Of course, our daughters’ desire to look like everyone else, to act like everyone else, as opposed to look like who they are and behave like who they are, is a constant source of tension.  Very often, we talk with our daughters and remind them that being “Happy “ is not a function of a cool cell phone, high heels, dressing in a slinky dress,  looking like and acting like their friends or even being popular.  Both my wife and I realize that not only do we have to work that much harder instilling our values, we have to teach our daughters not to be jealous of others or insecure with who and what they are. Certainly our daughters questions are legitimate, and I realize that the unhappiness and insecurities that are raised; are all too often the same questions, insecurities and unhappiness that we all raise at one time or another.

     This Shabbat we read form Parsha Balak. Balak was a Moabite King. After watching what B’nai Yisroel had done to the Ammonites, Balak was distressed. He realized that fighting B’nai Yisroel with a regular army was doomed to fail because he realized that God had blessed them. Being a clever king, Balak surmised that the only way to fight B'nai Yisroel was to fight them on a spiritual level. Since God blessed Bnai Yisroel, Balak wanted to find someone to curse them. There lived a prophet, a “Prophet Consultant,” a “hired gun” if you will, named Bilaam. King Balak hired Bilaam to curse B’nai Yisroel. Bilaam is visited by God and told not to curse B’nai Yisroel. Bilaam ignores the visitation. On his donkey heading towards B’nai Yisroel’s camp, and preparing his curses, the donkey stops. Although Bilaam could not see the angel standing in the middle of the road with a sword drawn, the donkey did. As a result the donkey refused to continue forward. Finally Bilaam realizes that there is a divine force in the middle of the road and must confront it. Bilaam listens and heads toward the camp. Looking down upon the encampment, Bilaam blesses B’nai Yisroel with words that we say upon entering into any synagogue, words that we teach our children at the youngest of ages. Ma Tovu Ohalecha Yaakov Mishkenotecha Yisroel – How goodly are your tents, O Jacob, your dwelling places O Israel – Kinchalim Nitayu K’ganot Alei Nahar K’Ahalim Natah Adoshem Ka’Arazim Alei Mayim – stretching out like brooks like gardens by the river, like aloes planted by Hashem, like cedars by the water (Num 24:5-6). Try as he might, Bilaam is unable to curse Bnai Yisroel, rather he blesses them.

     However more than blessing B'nai Yisroel, Bilaam learned something else. He examined B’nai Yisroel and he reflected upon his own life. Whatever B'nai Yisroel has, he wishes it was bottled for his use. Tamot Nafshi Mot Yi’sharim Ut'hi Achariti Kamohu – May my soul die the death of the upright, and may my end be like this. Bilaam, a once materialistic, prophet for hire, looks out upon a peaceful people’s encampment. Bilaam looks out a upon a warm caring community in which boundaries are observed, Derech Eretz is respected (the considerate treatment of one’s fellow man), observance of ritual, and the desire of everyone to live as a holy a life as possible is lived out every day in a million and one little ways. Bilaam looks out upon a nation that has achieved a sense of spiritual completeness, Shalem. This is a community that is at peace with itself, with a sense of purpose and destiny. If an entire nation has achieved this, what individual would not want this? Bilaam realized that this spiritual wholeness is attainable. If Bilaam realizes this, why don’t we?

      The community model that Bilaam sees and wants for himself is still possible today. Obviously it takes work. Obviously it takes all of us being on the same page in terms of our sense of purpose for our children and for our seniors. Obviously it takes all of us being on the same page in terms of our spiritual priorities and desire to learn. It takes all of us caring about each other, and still respecting each other’s space and privacy. It takes parents looking at their children and saying, “No, you may not wear those types of clothes.”  It takes parents understanding that children are not little adults but rather children, children that mimic what we say, what we do, and how we behave towards others.  Gee, I can’t wait until the Bar Mitzvah circuit includes my son and his class. By then I am sure I will have to agate and aggravation.

Peace,

Rav Yitz