Inside You're Burning, I Can See Clear Through; Your Eyes Tell More Than You Mean Them To (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Feel Like A Stranger")

           On Thursday, the  United States celebrated Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was always a big deal in my family and hundreds of millions of other families in the U.S. There was always an expectation that our family, wherever we were, would come together for this meal. In an observant Jewish home, a family coming together for a meal happens more than once a year. In fact, it happens once if not twice a week on Shabbat. It happens during the Jewish Holidays. As a kid, our family composed of grandparents, aunt, uncle cousin parents, and sister wasn’t such a big deal. As we grew older and our own lives took us on our own path and our own levels of observance, Thanksgiving was the one Holiday that allowed us to come together, and re-connect. Of course, there are also numerous families that grow distant over the course of a year or even longer, and when they gather for Thanksgiving, the day and the meal are filled with tension and dysfunction. 

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeishev. The focus of the narrative now shifts from Yaakov (aka. Israel) to his most beloved son Yosef. Contextually, Yaakov is at a point in his life where he has finished his spiritual and personal struggles. He now is at a calm and settled point in his life, hence the name of the Parshah: Vayeishev – and he settled. We learn that Yaakov, like his parents, played favorites. He showered Yosef, Rachel’s son, with a beautiful Kutonet Pasim – Coat of Many Colors.  Despised by his brothers,  they sell Yosef to a passing caravan. Yosef winds up in the home of one of the Pharaoh’s courtiers. As a slave, Yosef proved invaluable to the welfare of the Courtier’s business dealings. Yosef managed everything and the courtier profited greatly. The courtier’s wife however was a bit bored and made a pass at Yosef. Yosef put her off and then was accused of sexual harassment. Yosef was sent to prison. While in prison, Yosef helped the warden manage the prison, and the warden did well. Yosef became known for his ability to interpret dreams.

          The dysfunction within Yaakov’s family is palpable. The Torah tells us that because Jacob demonstrably loved Joseph more and perhaps it was at the expense of Jacob’s other sons, the brothers hated Yosef. VaYiru Echav Ki Oto Ahav Avihem Mikol Echav VaYisnu Oto  V’Lo Yachlu Dabro L’Shalom - His brothers saw that it was he whom their father loved most of all so his brothers hated him, and they could not speak to him peaceably (37:4). The brothers had so much animosity towards Joseph that they couldn’t even be civil to him. Yes, Yosef would tell their father all the bad things that the brothers did (37:2). Certainly, Yosef acted a bit obtuse, lacking self-awareness when he shared the dreams about the sheaves and the constellations. After hearing these dreams the brothers hated Yosef even more, even more than being unable to speak peaceably to him. More than hating Yosef, they were now jealous of Yosef. The next interaction the brothers have with Yosef occurs while tending the flocks. VaYiru Oto M’Rachok U’Vterem Yikra Aleihem Vayitnaklu Oto L’Hamito- They saw him from afar; and when he had not yet approached them, they conspired against him to kill him. (37:18) The Vorker Rebbe (1779-1848) explained that Yosef and the brothers seemed to always keep a distance. The Torah never tells us of any positive interaction between Yosef and his brothers. The brothers never speak to Yosef and Yosef only speaks to them when sharing his dreams of dominion over them. Instead of expressing their pain to their father, and perhaps their anger, they channel it towards Yosef. The distance becomes greater and greater. They never spoke and the brothers’ hatred and jealousy grew by the day. Eventually, they became detached, and Yosef ceased being kin but evolved into “other” instead. “Other” can be dangerous and threatening. So the brothers plotted to kill Yosef.

          It is probably safe to say that Yosef and his brothers did not break bread together. They probably couldn’t remember the last time they shared a meal together where they just talked and laughed. One can imagine a family meal, a Shabbat meal, or a Fesitval meal, fraught with innuendo, harboring the pain of past slights, and finally the meal abruptly concluding with tempers flaring and seething anger. Indeed, the distance that grows among family members is frequently too great to traverse at one meal, even if it is Thanksgiving.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

And So I Wrestle With The Angel To See Who'll Reap The Seeds I Sow (Gerrit Graham & Bob Weir - "Victim Or The Crime")

Like so many American families, we celebrated Thanksgiving. We packed up and drove to my parents’ home. Our eldest daughter who had been working in Florida until the recent midterm elections came, my sister brother in law and niece came.  Our daughter studying in Israel made Thanksgiving and we all had the chance to video chat with her. The last time that I saw our eldest daughter was in June when she came for her sister and brother’s graduation. Certainly, we had video chatted. Let’s just say a video chat doesn’t exactly offer a complete picture. So when she took one look at my completely gray beard, my salt and pepper head of hair, she hugged and kissed me and said. “You are so old! What happened to you?” Like the crows feet around my eyes, I attributed all the gray hair and white beard to the existential angst of fatherhood. For me, existential angst usually occurs in the middle of the night. It wakes me up, I go downstairs, I look outside at the night sky full of stars I think and worry. I worry about life, death, the quality of life and the quality of death, what am I doing with my life, how am I going to pay for Jewish day school, college, and weddings. I worry about my aging parents, my aging mother in law. I worry about my wife worrying about her aging mother. I explain to my eldest daughter that I wake up in the middle of the night and worry about all the stuff that a middle-aged person wrestles with.” While I normally sleep quite soundlessly, every so often I am wake up to wrestle with all my existential angst and worries.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Vayishlach. Yaakov and his family prepare to return to Yaakov’s home. However, they will first need to deal with an almost twenty-year grudge held by Esav. Yaakov will hope for the best and prepare for the worst as he prepares to meet his brother.  After their short reunion, Yaakov makes his way back to his ancestral lands. His mother passes away. He is blessed with another son, Benjamin, born to his wife Rachel. However, she dies in childbirth. His daughter, Dinah, has an illicit relationship with a prince of Shechem. According to the text, she is rendered “impure” and her brothers wipe out the prince and his village. Yaakov’s name is changed to Yisroel. God blessed Yaakov within the context of the covenant made with Avraham and Yitzchok. Yaakov’s blessing includes children, land and wealth, all of the things that God promised to Yaakov’s grandfather – Avraham. The Parsha concludes Yaakov and Esav seeing each other one last time in order to bury their father Yitzchok, and then we read the final psukim: a list of Esav’s descendants down to grandchildren.

The parsha is replete with dramatic moments. However, the brief narrative (Gen. 32:25-29) about Yaakov’s night prior to his first meeting with Esav, offers us a life-changing moment in Yaakov’s life. The narrative of the wrestling match begins in a very peculiar manner. VaYivater Yaakov L’Vado, VaYei’avek Ish Imo Ad Alot HaShachar – Jacob was left alone and a many wrestled with him until the break of dawn.  So if Yaakov was left alone, with whom did he wrestle?  The Torah tells us he wrestled with a man, however by the end of this brief narrative, Yaakov is asking the man(?) to bless him. During the wrestling match, and to add to the confusion the word for “man” is not used neither is Yaakov’s name. Rather the third person masculine singular pronoun “Hu” is used.  The M’forshim also struggle with this brief narrative.  Rashi reminds us of how our sages explain Sh’Hu Saro Shel Eisav – that it was the guardian angel of Esav.  Chizkuni – the 13th-century French commentator succinctly states Malach B’Damut Ish – an angel in the form of a man. Radak, Rabbi David Kimchi – a late 12/early 13th-century French commentator is even more explicit. He offers a single word of explanation as to the “man’s” identity – Melach – an angel. Some say it was the guardian angel of Esav and some say it was an Angel sent to restate God’s promise to Yaakov. However, a more modern and psychologically aware understanding seems that the “man” is Yaakov. Yaakov is struggling with himself. The language of the wrestling match only uses the Hebrew word “Hu” – in English "he". He said, he held on, he didn’t let go, he blessed him, he wrestled with him. Yaakov’s name is only mentioned when his hip is pulled out of joint, when he states his name and when the other being renames Yaakov. Yaakov’s whole life has been a struggle… first with Esav, God, and then Lavan. Before his impending struggle with Esav, Yaakov needs to know who exactly Yaakov is and who he clings to – which aspect of himself does he cling to? The godly aspect within him? The Esav within him? The reality is, Yaakov must decide who He is and what that means as he returns to his ancestral home and receives the covenant.  It will leave a mark for sure, however during his sleepless night, during his “mid-life crisis” and his “moment of clarity”; Yaakov will finally be a complete spiritual person with a full acceptance of his relationship to God and a sense of purpose in his life. This does not mean his life will be easier. It just means that Yaakov, with this renewed sense of purpose and identity, will be able to deal with all the troubles and heartache that is involved in living life as he continues to grow old.

             Of course, I have gray hair. Yes, my beard is turning white. There are more worries, there are more things that feel beyond my control.  There are more times that I worry about the direction of my life and my children's lives. There are more times when I worry about my parent’s health. No, I don’t necessarily have my hip pulled out of joint when we wake up in the middle of the night with this existential angst. Although due to an old back injury; I sometimes wake up with my back pain more acute than at other times.  We do have the emotional scars of such moments. Our souls struggle and sometimes our souls receive scars because of those moments when we question our purpose in life. It probably causes wrinkles and definitely causes gray hair. However those struggles are necessary because it leads us to moments of clarity, and we understand that our lives do have a purpose, and our families will be ok and everything will be all right.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Recall The Days That Still Are To Come (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- "Crazy Fingers")

Recently we attended a family function with aunts, uncles, great-aunts, great- uncles, cousins and grandparents. It always amazes me to watch my children with this extended family.  My three children could be talking to the same great aunt, or cousin or grandparent. Inevitably, each of my children will connect to that relative in a different manner, walk away with a different experience, and have a different opinion. Each child has the same parents, grows up in the same house, lives by the same rules, and has the same “relative status” as the other children Vis a Vis the great aunt, or the grandparent. However each child is fundamentally different and each relative relates to each of my child in a different manner. Certainly, each child has his/her own personality as does the other relative. The result is that each child will develop their own relationship with their grandparents, their aunts, their uncles, and their great aunts and great uncles.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Bechukotai, the last Parsha in Sefer VaYikra, the Book of Leviticus.  We are told of the reward that awaits us for following God’s Torah. We are told of the punishment if we treat God’ Torah B’Keri – in a cavalier sort of manner or if we are stubborn and fail to observe. These Tochachot, these punishments are laid out in a sets of seven. That is to say, the first series of punishments are meted out. We are given the opportunity to change our behavior. If we fail to do so, then the second set of Tochachot are meted out and so on and so forth.  After the seventh series of punishments are meted out, we are told that God will ultimately remember the covenant made with our ancestors thereby re-assuring us that the despite these horrible punishments, there will still be a covenant. The Torah provides instructions in case B’nai Yisroel wants to make voluntary offerings and how to value those offerings. Instructions for redeeming firstborn animals, houses, are also presented prior to the conclusion of the Parsha and Sefer VaYikra, the Book of Leviticus.

After the listing of the Tochachot, the punishments, the linguistic patter of the Torah becomes rather strange. Normally God’s covenant made with the three Patriachs is Avraham Yitzchak V’ Yaakov. They start with the father, then the son and then the grandson. The three are usually lumped together as a type of triad.  However after the punishments are described,  we read: V”Zacharti et Briti Yaakov, V’Af et Briti Yitzchak, V’ Af et Briti Avraham Ezkor V’Ha’Aretz Ezkor – I will remember My covenant with Jacob, and also My covenant with Yitzchak, and also My covenant with Avraham will I remember, and I will remember the land ( 24:42). When reading these words, they sound out of order. Indeed they are out of order. When we think of the Avot, the Patriarchs, we think of them beginning with Avraham. We also think of them as a list of one unit, Elohei Avrham, Elohei Yitzchak’ V’Elohei Yaakov. There is no “Et” in between which would grammatically make each single patriarch an individual item in a list as opposed to single grouping. Why does the Torah do this now? Keeping in mind that this verse appears immediately after the extremely harsh punishment that was to be meted out if B’nai Yisroel fails to observe God’s statutes and laws; according to the Or HaChayim two issues are involved. First, the confession of guilt helps reduce the severity of the afflictions to which B’nai Yisroel was subjected. Second, God invokes each Patriarch as an individual and not as a group, in order to restore B’nai Yisroel to its former status. So first God would invoke his covenant with Yaakov, if the behavior was deemed beyond the merit of Yaakov, then God invokes his covenant with Yitzchak. If that doesn’t work then God invokes the merit of Avraham.

While the covenant with each Patriarch was essentially the same, each Patriarch had his own relationship with God. The covenant meant something slightly different to each Patriarch. Each Patriarch embodied a certain Midah, a certain characteristic that made him worthy of the Covenant. Ultimately B’nai Yisroel should also embody all the Midot of the patriarch in order to make us worthy. However even if we embody one of these qualities, one of these Sacred qualities embodied by our Patriarchs; we too become worthy of the relationship and the covenant. However we will only connect to God in our own way, and in a way that is sacred and meaningful to both God and ourselves. That unique connection makes it possible for us to avoid behaving in a manner that is Keri- cavalier with God’s commandments. The same lesson holds true with our children. We related to them as individuals and each one of them relates differently to me and mom. They relate differently to each relative so that way each relationship is unique and has its own merits and strengths.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

The Soldier, Being Much Too Wise, Strategy Was His Strength, And Not Disaster (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Lady With A Fan")

“Can he really win”? “Do you think he can get the nomination?” There is not a Shabbat, nor a Shiur (a class) that I teach, where someone doesn’t ask me that question or some question similar to it. Congregants, students, Shabbat dinner guests; they all wonder about Donald Trump, they wonder what the American public is thinking, and sometimes they find themselves agreeing with some of the things that Trump says. As the resident “American” among our friends, I try to provide some type of insight.  As Trump continues to climb in the polls, it is quite clear that aspects of his message resonate with all types of people from all walks of life. Soon after Trump made his statement about closing the United States to Muslims trying to enter; a previously scheduled trip to Israel and a meeting with Prime Minister Netanyahu was cancelled. It would seem that even Prime Minister Netanyahu, doesn’t want to appear to be endorsing Trump at this time. However with nearly 60% of Republican primary voters agreeing with Trumps idea of keeping Muslims out of the United States; resonates. Why? It seems to me that those supporting Trump, especially after the terrorist attacks in Paris and in San Bernardino, California; believe that some type of cataclysmic conflict with Islam and the West appears inevitable. I don’t necessarily disagree, nor do I think that this clash is a particularly new phenomenon. It happened in the early 8^th century when Charles Martel prevented the Islamic invasion of southern France at a time when Islam swept over North Africa and into Spain. It happened again during the Crusades when, at the urging of the Pope, Christendom was urged to liberated Jerusalem from the Muslims.

This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity and the brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brother’s return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers add that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including: Jacob, the brothers, their wives and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is re-united with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

For the ChaZaL, the Sages of Blessed Memory, the Sages of the Talmud, the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of the Yaakov’s sons; the confrontation is much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dressed Egyptian, who speaks Egyptian is the embodiment of the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. The Yalkut Shimoni, a 13^th century compilation of all the Midrash of the entire TaNaCh, clarifies the nature of Yehudah’s “approach” of Yosef. V’Ruach Lo Yavoh Beineihem Eilu Hein HaShvatim; Amru HaMalachim he did not approach as if there was anything between them  rather they [Yehuda and Yosef] were the leaders of tribes and they spoke as kings. These were not individuals. Rather each represented a distinct culture. So when Yehuda tells Yosef “you are like Pharaoh”; he was really telling him that he was as corrupt, and depraved as Pharaoh and those Pharaohs that came before.  This was indeed a cataclysmic clash of two powerful cultures, theologies, and philosophies. As far as Yehudah was concerned, only one would ultimately prevail and if that meant he would give up his life to save his brother in order to prevail then so be it. But before that happens, his brothers would bring chaos to Yosef and the marketplace, much like they did to Shechem all those years before. Yehuda’s approach to Joseph wasn’t humble, it wasn’t’ obsequious with his head down and timid in nature. Rather he approached him as one king to another, unashamed, unabashed, unbowed and undeterred in his mission to get his brother released.

There is something quite admirable about Yehuda. He confronts and he stares down the corrupt evil of Pharaoh’s Egypt. If he is intimidated, he doesn’t show it. For Judah, it doesn’t matter if he is the leader of a family that believes in a divine covenant or the leader of a country, for Judah, he will do everything he can to protect his own. His approach to Yosef was based on strength, his language was based upon strength.  So when I have to explain Donald Trump, I explain it in terms of strength. He speaks in terms of strength, he is not governed by political correctness, a concept that has come to symbolize linguistic weakness. He says what people quietly say to each other. He talks tough. In times of tribulation, confusion, anxiety and fear, people gravitate toward that which appears to embody strength.  For now, at least for 60% of those Republicans most likely to vote in the Republican primary, Trump appears to embody strength. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Hearts of Summer Held in Trust (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Days Between")

A couple of weeks ago, my wife had to go to Baltimore for work. Thankfully she was outside of Baltimore while it was rioting.  I looked after our kids. Because they are older, 9^th 7^th and 5^th grade respectively, they are a little more independent and can take on a bit more responsibility. During these two days,  while we watched the news during every spare moment; there was a very minor incident during which I had flashback of my father expressing his anger and frustration with me and my sister.  Our son was deeply engrossed in his IPod. He was so engrossed, he didn’t hear me when I asked him to something. I asked once, twice, three times. Then I yelled, but still no answer. I walked over to him, and took the IPod away.  He grew angry with me but at least I had his attention. I explained that he was off the IPod until he could prove that he could listen to instructions, acknowledge that he hear the instructions and then follows the instructions without the IPod obstructing his “listening”, “acknowledging” or “following” capacities. He asked how long would he be without an IPod. I said, a week or two, maybe longer depending upon him.  He looked up and comment that a week or two means he will have it within a day or two certainly “by the time mommy returns.” I hung my head and smiled. His sisters’ eyes lit up. They told him that when Abba says a week or two; it’s a week or two. Each of his sisters told him that he should always trust Abba when it comes to carrying out a punishment.  “Mommy will eventually back down”, they said, but if Abba says it’s “No IPod for a week or two, then trust him - no IPod for a week or two. Our son’s jaw dropped, I smiled, took the IPod, circled the date on the calendar and reminded him that if his ability to listen and follow instructions improved, then he gets the IPod back upon the dated I circled – 10 days later.  Again, I was smiling first because they kids knew me so well, and second because my father taught me well. Only make a punishment that I was willing to carry out.

This week we read the double Parshiot of Behar/BeChukotai; the final two Parshiot of Leviticus. This week we read the double Parsha of Behar/Bechukotai. These final two parshiot offer us insight into another dimension of Holiness- Kedushah. For most of Vayikra (Leviticus), we learned how the Kohen Gadol makes himself holy. We have learned how the individual makes himself/herself holy. We have learned how the entire nation makes itself holy. We have learned how holiness permeates all are physical activities including what we eat, how we treat others and the relationships that may and may not have.  We have learned how we designated holiness in terms of seasons and special occasions. Now we read about the laws in which we acknowledge the holiness of Eretz Canaan Israel. We learn that the Jubilee is similar to Shemitah (the term used to describe the land lying fallow every 7 years) only on a grander scale, leaving the land to lie fallow for a year while it rests. We learn about the Yovel, the Jubilee year and all that it entails in terms of our behavior. Sefer Vayikra concludes with the Torah explaining the rewards for following these and all the commandments that God gave us at Sinai as well as the punishments that would befall us if we fail to observe these commandments.  

                Throughout these two final Parshiot, several future miraculous occurrences are described. First is the Jubilee Year. The miracle described is not the logic of allowing the land to lie fallow for one year. The miracle is the practical implication of the logic of land lying fallow for a full year. In reality it’s not just one year, it’s more than one year. The Harvest occurs after the end of the 6^th year.  There is no harvest for the 7^th year and then we plant in we begin the first year of the next cycle. However we still have to wait for a harvest in that first year of the new cycle. So all the food harvest in year six has to be enough for an extraordinary amount of time. This same miracle occurs in the Yovel year as well.  We have to Trust that the  harvest before Shemitah year, and every seven cycles, the harvest before the Shmitah year and the Yovel year will be large enough to keep everyone fed, rich and poor alike. The second future miraculous occurrence are the rewards/punishment outline in Bechukotai for following the commandments or for casually (b’KeRI) disobeying the commandments. The rewards will be rain in the right time. The punishments will be our dismissal from the land. The land will become unproductive and unable to support us. Like, Shmittah and Yovel, Bnia Yisroel is left having to trust God’s words. 

                The entire book of Leviticus, VaYikra, has been about Holiness and drawing close to God.  When we strive for holiness, in terms of behaving toward our fellow man, or mindful of God’s presence in our lives vis a vis space, time, and the physical realm, we learned that Holiness is a function of our distance from God. The closer we are, the greater Holiness. The further we are from God, the lesser the Holiness. Now Leviticus teaches us one last vital aspect in terms of Holiness. Vayikra reminds us that we must have Trust, we must Trust God. From a practical standpoint we have to trust that the harvest will be large enough to carry B’nai Yisroel through Shmitah and Yovel. We have to trust that there is reward for following rules and punishment for casually disobeying.  Ultimately the concept of Trust cannot be Keri, trust cannot be casual. Rather, our holiness, our ability to be near God is ultimately about trust, Trust in God’ role in the lives of Bnai Yisroel, Trust in our ability to strive towards God and Holiness, our ability to Trust in a process that may or may not defy logic, and our Trust in God’s words, God’s blessings and God’s curses. Therefore, the fundamental nature of the relationship, cannot be Keri; it cannot be casual. If Bnai Yisroel takes its role in the covenant seriously, then Bnai Yisroel will achieve holiness.

                Learning to trust is a learned trait. Learning to Trust the spoken word requires effort from both parties, from the listener as well as the speaker. The speaker must always be prepared to back up the spoken word. The listener must be prepared to accept not only the spoken word but the listener must recognize that the spoken word matches the deed.  Whether it is children and parents or people and God, at some point the relationship boils down to Trust: trust in the presence in our lives, trust that we have the ability to affect the relationship and trust that the relationship cannot be casual for it to be meaningful. After a couple of days alone with my children, they now trust my words and more importantly, they now understand that there is nothing casual about my concern for them nor is there anything casual about the effort required for them to be kind, decent, thoughtful people.

Peace,

Rav Yitz