I Swear It On My Very Soul; If I Lie May I Fall Down Cold (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Reuben and Cerise")

          Every religion, every society acknowledges the importance of making a vow, or swearing an oath, or “giving one’s word”. To accept a vow, oath, or another person’s “word” was a demonstration of trust, an act of faith that the other person would keep their vow, oath, or word. Without a mechanism for people to trust business would cease to occur, relationships would end,  and anarchy would reign. Where society and religions differ is the premium place upon the vow, oath, or a person’s word. The Judeo-Christian and Muslim cultures and traditions consider vows and oaths tantamount to invoking God’s name and violating an oath or a vow, therefore, is tantamount to “Taking God’s name in vain”. For the less observant or those who don’t affiliate with a religion, a violation of an oath or a vow destroys a sacred trust. In a democratic society, trust is the lubricant,  that allows governments to govern. When the populace doesn’t trust its institutions there is chaos. Certainly, that is what we have watched occur in the United States over the past several years. Sadly, over the past week, once again we witnessed, elected officials who swear an oath to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic…” fail to live up to that oath. A former Chief of Staff and former congressman who swore such an oath decided to protect and defend a former president instead of the Constitution. An entire political party, except for a handful of Congressman and Senator have pledged their fealty to authoritarianism instead of fulfilling their vows and oaths to the Constitution.  

          This morning we read from Parsha Vayechi. This is the final Parsha in the book of Breishit. The Parsha begins with Yaakov calling Yosef and making him swear an oath that he will not be buried in Egypt. He also blesses his grandsons Ephraim and Menashe. He gathers his sons together and offers each son a blessing or a prophecy. Yaakov dies and his sons take him out of Egypt and fulfill their vow. They bury their father in Heron alongside Avraham and Yitzchak and Sarah Rebecca and Leah. Afterward, the brothers fear that Yosef will finally take vengeance for their mistreatment of him. Yosef doesn’t, and the brothers and their families continue to grow and prosper in Goshen. As Yosef prepares for his death, he makes his brothers vow to take his bones out of Egypt and bury his bones in Eretz Canaan. 

          Yaakov’s final dying wish is to be buried in Canaan, in the Caves of the Machpela with his ancestors, Avraham/Sarah, Yitzchak/Rivka, and Leah his wife. Yaakov shares this wish with Yosef. Given his position within Egypt, Yosef would be the most likely of the sons who would be able to arrange this final wish. After sharing his final wish with his beloved son Yosef; Yaakov asks Yosef to swear to him that he will carry out this final wish. To demonstrate one’s “swearing a vow,” Yaakov tells Yosef: Im Nah Matzati Chein M’Einecha If now I have found grace in your eyes Sim Nah Yadcha Tachat Yereichi put, I pray of you, your hand beneath my thigh v’Asita Imadi Chesed v’Emet –,and deal kindly and truthfully with me. However, Yosef does not do as his father asks; Yosef does not put his hand beneath his father’s thigh as an indication of swearing an oath. Rather, Vayomer [Yosef] said, Anochi Eseh Chidvarecha – I personally will do as you said. The text clearly conveys that Yosef did not make a “vow” to Yaakov. Yosef did not put his hand beneath his father’s thigh as an indication of making a vow. Rather his said that he would take care of the matter personally.  Rabeinu Chananel, a tenth-century Egyptian Talmudic commentator, briefly and succinctly explains that the statement: Anochi Eseh M’Atzmi – I will take care of it myself suggests there is no need for swearing an oath. Rav Ovadia Sforno – the 16th Italian Renaissance Torah Commentator adds a more in-depth comment over the fact that Yosef did not at first swear an oath to Yaakov’s final request. Anochi Metzad Atzmi Eseh Kidvarecha B’Chol Chai – As far as I am concerned, I will do as you say with all my power. Yosef’s response suggests a built-in excuse in case he cannot fulfill the dying wish. “I will do everything in my power” suggests that if Yosef entreats Pharaoh to let him bury his father in Canaan, and Pharaoh refuses; then Yosef still fulfilled his father’s final wish since Yosef did everything he could.  Yaakov senses his hesitation and tells Yosef: Hishava Li – Swear to me, Vayishava Lo – and He [Yosef] swore to him [Yaakov]. Yaakov does not want any excuses nor does he want Yosef to have to rely solely upon his own relationship with Pharaoh. Pharaoh will understand a son swearing an oath to his dying father and would never refuse a request of that nature. As a son, as a free person, as the second most powerful person in Egypt, Yosef is only bound by his conscience. He is free to question. The Malbim, the 17th-century commentator explains that Yosef was acting as a son should be bound by filial piety and integrity.

          There are moments where one’s own volition is not enough in fulfilling a final wish. Yaakov makes Yosef swear the oath because he wants Yosef to acknowledge an authority greater than his own. He also wants Yosef to acknowledge an authority greater than Pharaoh. Yaakov wanted Yosef to be completely powerless and act solely on behalf of his father. Under normal circumstances, according to ChaZaL – our Talmudic sages of Blessed Memory, the acceptance of Torah and its commandments are an acknowledgment and acceptance of an external authority greater than ourselves. Intrinsic to that acceptance is a humbling awareness that we are not all that powerful or in control of every aspect of life. As more and more information comes becomes public about the January 6th Capitol Hill attack and attempted coup, it becomes more and more clear, that numerous people who had sworn an oath to the U.S. Constitution, due to political expediency, violated that oath and pledged fealty to authoritarianism. They continue to do so to this day. Unfortunately, history provides many examples from the last century when elected officials violate their oaths, trust wanes, institutions cease to function and authoritarianism wins the day. Hopefully, bringing light and attention to that day will remind elected officials of the importance of their oaths, vows, and keeping their word to support and defend.

Peace 

Rav Yitz

There is none except for you. Except for you I swear to it on my very soul (Robert Hunter &Jerry Garcia - "Reuben and Cerise")

          Our family spent the past week visiting family on the West Coast. While on vacation, one of the common and frequent morning questions came from my wife. Approximately 20-30 minutes after our son woke up, she would remind him to put on his Tefillin (Phylacteries) and daven Shacharit (recite the morning service). Our son wouldn’t respond. Several minutes would pass and my wife would ask “Have you started to Daven?” Again, she did not hear a response. Several more minutes would pass by and our son would walk by en route to doing whatever he decided was the morning routine while on vacation: eat breakfast, play with his cousin, or whatever fifteen-year-old teenager does in the morning while on vacation. As our son would walk by, or even enter the room where his mother was, she would look up at him and this time, express her frustration with our son because he has not only failed to put his Tefillin and daven but hasn’t acknowledged his mother and her numerous requests to do so. As our son leaves and returns to whatever he was in the midst of doing prior to his mother’s requests; my wife looks at me and says: “you’re his father, aren’t you going to tell him to put on his tefillin and daven? Why do I have to tell him?” I smile and remind her that he is fifteen, he has been putting on tefillin for nearly 2 ½ years. He knows how to put it on, he knows when to put it on, he knows how to daven Shacharit, and most importantly he intellectually understands that he is MeChayeiv (obligated) according to Halacha (Jewish Law) to daven. At some point, we must refrain from reminding and hocking him to fulfill this and any other ritual obligations. Rather, he must learn to come to this moment on his own volition, and not because his mother or father asked, cajoled, complained or yelled at him. In the long run, there is a better chance of observing and fulfilling his obligations because he holds by his halachic obligations rather than his parents holding him to those obligations. Needless to say, my wife isn’t very happy with my apparent laissez-faire attitude.
          This morning we read from Parsha Vayechi. This is the final Parsha in the book of Breishit. The Parsha begins with Yaakov calling Yosef and making him swear an oath that he will not be buried in Egypt. He also blesses his grandson’s Ephraim and Menashe. He gathers his sons together and offers each son a blessing or a prophecy. Yaakov dies and his sons take him out of Egypt and fulfill their vow. They bury their father in Heron alongside Avraham and Yitzchak and Sarah Rebecca and Leah. Afterward, the brothers fear that Yosef will finally take vengeance for their mistreatment of him. Yosef doesn’t, and the brothers and their families continue to grow and prosper in Goshen. As Yosef prepares for his death, he makes his brothers vow to take his bones out of Egypt and bury his bones in Eretz Canaan.
          Yaakov’s final dying wish is to be buried in Canaan, in the Caves of the Machpela with his ancestors, Avraham/Sarah, Yitzchak/Rivka and his wife Leah. Yaakov shares this wish with Yosef. Given his position within Egypt, Yosef would be the most likely of the sons who could arrange to fulfill Yaakov’s wish. After sharing his final wish with his beloved son Yosef; Yaakov asks Yosef to swear to him that he will carry out this final wish. To demonstrate one’s “swearing a vow,” Yaakov tells Yosef: Im Nah Matzati Chein M’Einecha If now I have found grace in your eyes Sim Nah Yadcha Tachat Yereichi put, I pray of you, your hand beneath my thigh v’Asita Imadi Chesed v’Emet –and deal kindly and truthfully with me. However, Yosef does not do as his father asks; Yosef does not put his hand beneath his father’s thigh as an indication of swearing an oath. Rather, Vayomer [Yosef] said, Anochi Eseh Chidvarecha – I personally will do as you said. Yaakov, sensing his son’s hesitation, asks Yosef to swear that he will fulfill the request. Finally, Yosef acquiesces and swears an oath to fulfill his father’s request.
          Why does Yosef hesitate? The text clearly conveys that Yosef did not make a “vow” to Yaakov when first asked. Yosef did not immediately put his hand beneath his father’s thigh as an indication of making a vow. Yosef did not immediately say “I swear to bury you with your ancestors”. Why doesn’t Yaakov’s favorite son swear to his father this last dying favor? What kind of son doesn’t swear an oath if asked by his dying father to do so if it means peace of mind and a soul at peace for his father? Yosef’s first answer indicates that he will look after the request personally. Midrash explains the difference between Avraham’s servant’s behavior and Yosef’s behavior: HaEved Asa K’Avadoto Uven Chorin Asah K’Chiruto – Rabbi Yitzchak said: The servant acted like a servant and the free man acted as a free man, The servant acted like a servant, as it says ‘And the servant put his hand beneath his [Avraham’s] thigh; While the freeman acted as a free person: ‘And he said, I will do as you said’’. As a free individual, Yosef is only bound by his conscience. He is free to question. The servant, on the other hand, has no such ability. He is bound to fulfill his obligations whether forced or unforced. The Malbim, the 17th-century commentator explains that Yosef was acting as a son should. Yosef was trying to act out of filial responsibility, based upon his own free will rather than a servant who is bound by oaths.
          There are moments where one’s own volition is not enough to fulfill a final wish. Yaakov makes Yosef swear the oath because he wants Yosef to acknowledge an authority greater than his own. He also wants Yosef to acknowledge an authority greater than Pharaoh. Yaakov wanted Yosef to be completely powerless and act solely on behalf of his father. Under normal circumstances, according to ChaZaL – our Talmudic sages of Blessed Memory, the acceptance of Torah and its commandments are an acknowledgment and acceptance of an external authority greater than ourselves. Intrinsic to that acceptance is a humbling awareness that we are not all that powerful or in control of every aspect of life. Of course, as our son hears me explain that the less she reminds him, the greater the chance that he will eventually choose and then obligate himself. Of course, by obligating himself he is ultimately establishing a relationship with God and obligating himself to God and not his mother nor me. It is part of the growing up process. For me, watching my son grow up to wholeheartedly accept and fulfill these ritual obligations brings me comfort that his mother and I have done something right. Growing up to be a mentsch, a kind, and decent person is perhaps the greatest kindness that our son and his three sisters could bestow upon their mother and me.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

If You Could See In My Heart You Would Know It's True; There Is None, Cérise, Except For You (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Reuben and Cerise")

With three daughters, every so often I get anxious regarding that moment when they begin to seriously date a boy, or have strong feelings for a boy, or begin an exclusive relationship with a boy.  With a daughter in her twenties and two teenage daughters; my wife and I want boys to be interested in our daughters. We want our daughters to go out on dates. However, my desire for them to have the excitement of “puppy love” is quickly tempered by my anxiety of their being in a serious relationship and how that new relationship affects my relationship with my daughters. It is at that point, I try to stop thinking about the fact that my daughters are growing older (as am I), and try to end my anxiety attack.

This Shabbat is the last day of Pesach. Among the additions to the Shabbat/Pesach service is the fact that we say Yizkor and commemorate the deceased. Because we are celebrating a Festival that did not have an intermediate Shabbat, but rather the last days fall on a Shabbat; we read a Megillah - a Scroll that corresponds to Pesach.  ChaZaL – our sages teach us that we read Shir HaShirim, the Song of Songs. This biblical text, taken from Ketuvim (Writings) is attributed to Shlomo HaMelech – King Solomon.  The eight chapters, which are a song in a melody different from both Torah and Haftarah speaks of the romantic love of a young couple.  I imagine that this young couple is in their early twenties but there is no evidence that suggests a specific age. Because the text begins with the words: Shir HaShirim Asher L’Shlomo – The Song of Songs by Solomon; ChaZaL explains that only a young man in throes of romantic love would write such poetry. A middle age man wouldn’t write such romantic poetry since some of the idealism of that romantic love would have waned, and certainly an older man, towards the end of life wouldn’t write of romantic love since an older man would be more scarred by life’s experience. Nevertheless, this beautiful poetry and the illusions of green meadows, deer, trees, and fruit, portray a romantic vision that would great poets such as Shakespeare and Keats jealous with its use of language.

The question is why we read Shir HaShirim during the Pesach Festival. How is a nation attaining liberty remotely connected to Romantic poetry?  R’Akiva, the same R’Akiva that we all read about in the Haggada at our respective sederim, comments that the Song of Songs is the holy of holies (Midrash Tanchuma).  We understand that something becomes holy when it has been separated from the mundane and ordinary and elevated to a higher purpose.  Certainly, B'nai Yisroel fits such a description. Throughout the story of the Yetziat Mitzrayim, when Moshe request of Pharaoh that B'nai Yisroel is released from bondage, Moshe repeatedly says to ‘Let me people go… Asher Ya’Avduni  “So that they may serve me.” Clearly, the purpose of being released from Pharaoh’s slavery enabled B'nai Yisroel to enter into a relationship with God. As long as Pharaoh declined Moshe’s request, the more Pharaoh prevented B'nai Yisroel from separating itself from Egypt and elevating itself for the sole purpose of entering into a sacred relationship with God. Now that B'nai Yisroel has been freed from Egypt, it can return to the sacred relationship with God, a relationship that it had not experienced for over two centuries.  From that perspective, the relationship, with this generation of B'nai Yisroel is novel, idealistic and romantic. After all, within our tradition we view Hashem as our protector, we view Hashem as bound to the Jewish people much like a husband is bound to a wife. On Friday nights, we have a Kabbalistic tradition of viewing the Shabbat Queen as our spiritual mate. After all, Sunday has Monday, Tuesday has Wednesday and Thursday has Friday. Can Shabbat really be left alone? According to Midrash, Shabbat is paired off with the Jewish People.  (Bereishit Rabba h 11:8)The Shabbat Bride serves as a symbol of that pairing off.

As Pesach draws to a close,  our story doesn’t end, nor does our relationship with God draw to a conclusion. Because we are counting the Omer each evening up until 50, we understand that our job is to prepare ourselves for our long, awaited reunion with Hashem.  That reunion will occur on Shavuot when we stand at Sinai to receive the Torah. Shir HaShirim merely marks the beginning of a loving relationship, a courtship prior to a marriage,  a time when we should be full of romantic visions prior to entering a relationship built upon obligations.  As a father of three daughters, someday all three will grow into relationships that culminate in the sanctity of marriage. For now, however, I have enough anxiety just dealing with “young romantic” love.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

I Swear To It On My Very Soul: If I Lie May I Fall Down Cold (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Reuben and Cerise")

Well, we are in the final week of 2017. It seems that three main themes have captured the fancy of media. First, every news show and every sports show has done the proverbial "look back at 2017."  Both highlights and lowlights are re-lived in the form of a top ten list. Second, because we are concluding one year and about to begin a new year, advertiser focus upon the theme of resolutions. Of course, the two biggest resolutions are weight loss and exercise. As a result, we have become acutely aware of the weight loss companies offering special programs in order to join their weight loss program. Also, we have noticed numerous pieces of exercise equipment and gadgets on sale. Several psychologists were interviewed explaining that the number one cause of people's failure to fulfill their resolution is that the resolution itself was unrealistic and too big. Instead of setting a goal of losing 60 pounds over the course of a year, maybe a more realistic goal would be 25-30 pounds.  Or, instead of looking at the resolution and becoming daunted by its enormity; break down that resolution into manageable parts. Losing 5 pounds each month (60/12) is much more manageable than focusing on 60 pounds. As I was on the elliptical machine, I began to think about resolutions in general and specifically the similarities and differences between resolutions and vows/promises. The biggest difference, of course, is that a resolution does not seem to be binding like a vow or a promise. Nevertheless, a resolution does indicate a conscious decision focused upon one's self as opposed to a promise or a vow to another.

This Shabbat, we read from Parsha Vayechi. This is the final Parshah in the book of Bereishit. The Parsha begins with Yaakov calling Yosef and making him swear an oath that he will not be buried in Egypt. He also blesses his grandson’s Ephraim and Menashe. He gathers his sons together and offers each son a blessing or a prophecy. Yaakov dies and his sons take him out of Egypt and fulfill their vow. They bury their father in Hebron alongside Avraham and Yitzchak and Sarah Rebecca and Leah. Afterwards, the brothers fear that Yosef will finally take vengeance for their mistreatment of him. Yosef doesn’t, and the brothers and their families continue to grow and prosper in Goshen. As Yosef prepares for his death, he makes his brothers vow to take his bones out of Egypt and bury his bones in Eretz Canaan.

Sharing his dying wish with Yosef is not enough. Yaakov wants Yosef to swear an oath that he will fulfill his father’s final dying wish. To demonstrate one's "swearing a vow," Yaakov tells Yosef: Im Nah Matzati Chein M’Einecha If now I have found grace in your eyes Sim Nah Yadcha Tachat Yereichi put, I pray of you, your hand beneath my thigh v’Asita Imadi Chesed v’Emet –, and deal kindly and truthfully with me. However, Yosef does not do as his father asks; Yosef does not put his hand beneath his father's thigh as an indication of swearing an oath. Rather,  Vayomer [Yosef] said, Anochi Eseh Chidvarecha – I personally will do as you said. The text clearly conveys that Yosef did not make a "vow" to Yaakov. Yosef did not put his hand beneath his father's thigh as an indication of making a vow. Rather his said that he would take care of the matter personally.  Rabeinu Chananel, a tenth-century Egyptian Talmudic commentator, briefly and succinctly that Anochi Eseh M’Atzmi – I will take care of it myself hence there is no need for swearing an oath. Rav Ovadia Sforno – the 16^th Italian Renaissance Torah Commentator adds a more in-depth comment on the fact that Yosef did not at first swear an oath to Yaakov's final request. Anochi Metzad Atzmi Eseh Kidvarecha B’Chol Chai – As far as I am concerned, I will do as you say with all my power. Yosef's response suggests an out in case he cannot fulfill the dying wish. "I will do everything in my power" suggests that if Yosef entreats Pharaoh to let him bury his father in Canaan, and Pharaoh refuses; then Yosef still fulfilled his father's final wish since Yosef did everything he could.  Yaakov senses he hesitation and tells Yosef: Hishava Li – Swear to me, Vayishava Lo – and He [Yosef] swore to him [Yaakov]. Yaakov does not want any excuses nor does he want Yosef relying solely upon his own relationship Pharaoh. Pharaoh will understand a son swearing an oath to his dying father and would never refuse a request of that nature. However Yosef is not a servant, he is the second most powerful person in Egypt and he Yaakov’s favorite son. As a free individual, Yosef is only bound by his conscience. He is free to question. The servant, on the other hand, has no such ability. He is bound to fulfill his obligations whether forced or unforced. The Malbim, the 17 ^th-century commentator, explains that Yosef was acting like a son should. Yosef was trying to act out of filial responsibility, based upon his own free will rather than a servant who is bound by oaths.

It appears that there are moments where one’s own volition is not enough in fulfilling a final wish. So Yaakov makes Yosef swear the oath so that way when dealing with Pharaoh it is clear that he is acting as a servant to his father.   Yaakov wanted Yosef to be completely powerless and act solely on behalf of his father. Under normal circumstances, according to our ChaZaL – our Talmudic sages, we are already bound by Torah; there is no need to accept artificial/external bonds. The bonds of Torah and mitzvot should be enough.  The bonds of Torah and mitzvot are designed to be reachable goals, objectives that require a little effort but are all within the realm of the possible.  There is no need to pile on and make observance more difficult and more taxing. So I finished my final workouts of 2017 feeling better about myself, knowing that my vow to lose weight has been fulfilled and now I have the much more difficult vow of maintenance. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz

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