Lady In Velvet Recedes In The Nights Of Goodbye (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Dark Star")

           It’s not every day that we attend the funeral of a King or a Queen. Yet, earlier this week, a billion people tuned in for part of (if not all) Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral. For about a week, the coffin bearing the Queen lay in State in her beloved Scotland and then was brought to London. Along the way people stopped and respectfully acknowledged the coffin’s passing by. Once in London, Queen Elizabeth lay in state for several days and millions of people stood in line, some time for as much as 30 hours in order to be physically close to the coffin, and pay final respects. On the day of the funeral, millions lined the route as the coffin was brought to Westminster Abbey where the funeral service was conducted. During this time, it was clearly evident that all of the Royal Family wanted the coffin to be accessible to all of the Queen’s subjects. She did not lie in State for only the noble class. She did not lie in state for only white Englishmen. She did not lie in state for only a certain gender, or only for the wealthy privileged class. Anyone and everyone who stood there at the appropriate moment caught a glimpse and had a moment of closure.  

            This week’s Parsha is the Parsha Nitzavim. According to the Aggadah, this is the recounting of Moshe Rabeinu’s last day of life. Unafraid of his imminent death, he gathers his family: Rosheichem, Shivteichem, Zikneichem, v’Shotreichem, Kol Ish Yisroel, Topchem N’Sheichem V’Geircha Asher B’Kerev Machanecha Meichotev Eitzecha Ad Sho’eiv Meimecha – The heads of your tribes, your elders, and your officers, all the men of Yisroel; your children, your women, and the stranger who is in the midst of our camp, from the woodchopper to the one who draws water (Deut. 29:9-10). Moshe imparts the last vestiges of wisdom to his children and his people. Moshe wants to make sure that everything is in order when he dies and Joshua takes over. Moshe truly has been blessed. He has had the blessing of old age, and here God has granted him the gift of saying goodbye in perhaps the most wonderful fashion. God has commanded Moshe to say his goodbyes and impart the final vestiges of wisdom.

            We are taught that death is a part of life. Yet many of us are afraid of death. Many of us believe that we should shield our children from death, sadness and loss. However, when we read Parsha Nitzavim, we learn that while impending death is sad, death in the manner of Moshe’s can take on an aura of holiness – of Kedushah. It is in holiness that we attain the highest level of life, a life that is directly connected to God. When death comes like this, from God, with an opportunity to say Goodbye- with an opportunity to impart wisdom to one’s children, death is not mundane, death is not ordinary, but rather holy and part of life, the final expression of holiness in a very physical endeavor. When we talk of strength, we, unfortunately, think of the person who lifts a lot of weight. We think of the person who doesn’t cry, who remains stoic if he/she is all torn up inside. At this time of year, from Elul through Sukkot, when we recite the 27th Psalm and conclude with the words Chazak v’Ya’Ameitz Libecha, v’Kavei El Adoshem – Strengthen yourself, and he will give you courage; and hope to HaShem! We now understand what it means to strengthen oneself.  Moshe had that kind of strength. To be aware of the end of life, to prepare for it, to draw loved ones toward and tell them how we feel is the epitome of courage.

           In a sense,  Queen Elizabeth’s funeral wasn’t just a sacred ritual in which respect was paid to the deceased. Even in death, the Queen managed to allow her people to engage in a holy endeavor.  By giving her subjects the opportunity to come together and offer “final respects” we are reminded to reaffirm and celebrate life no matter how difficult, no matter how troubling. This Shabbat is the final Shabbat of the Jewish year. The  Jewish People are days away from celebrating Rosh HaShanah, (Jewish New Year). Rosh HaShanah is also known as Yom HaDin (Judgment Day). So while there is joy at arriving on the brink of a new year, perhaps there is a bit of anxiety while awaiting Judgment. However, during this anxious moment, we are reminded that we are all gathered and standing in judgment. Every Jew, from every walk of life, stands before God in Judgement, stands before God for a moment of accessibility.  

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

Come Wash The Night Time Clean, Come Grow The Scorched Ground Green (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Cassidy")

          I recently contracted Covid and have spent the past 10 days in our family’s basement, in isolation. For several days I woke up with an awful headache, my joints ached, my teeth ached, I wasn’t particularly hungry but I was incredibly fatigued. I couldn’t hold my head up, not due to nausea but rather due to the fact that I was so tired. For several days last week, I would fall asleep watching college basketball games. Finally, early this past week, I awoke and there was no headache, my joints no longer ached, my teeth no longer ached. I didn’t sleep 18 hours a day. I took a brief walk outside for a few minutes. Then took a nap. Each day, as symptoms faded. Instead of being fatigued after a 5-minute walk, I was now fatigued after a 20-minute walk. While still not great, I felt myself feeling better. By the end of the week, I was out of isolation, participating in family life, and actually working out on our elliptical machine for 45 minutes. Yes, I  was fatigued. Yes, I found myself still needing a nap, but I finally feel like I am back to feeling healthy.

          This Shabbat is known as Shabbat Para because of the special Maftir Aliyah we read concerning the offering of the Para Adumah (the Red Heifer). The weekly Parshat, which we read prior to the Maftir, is Parshat Shmini.  Consisting of three complete chapters, the Parsha focuses upon the three parties necessary for the Brit (the covenant) of B’nai Yisroel: God, the Kohen, and B’nai Yisroel.  Certainly, God is the embodiment of Purity, the second and third chapters of the Parsha explain how the Kohen and B’nai Yisroel are able to approach God and achieve spiritual intimacy. If either the Kohen or B’nei Israel is not pure, then they are unable to achieve that spiritual intimacy. B’nei Israel can either achieve this desired spiritual intimacy in the offering it brings, but to do so depends on the purity of the Kohen. If the Kohen is impure then no matter how pure B’nai Israel or its offering,  spiritual intimacy is not achievable. B’nai Israel can also achieve spiritual intimacy by eating certain foods. 

          The Parsha begins with Moshe telling his brother Aharon, that before the Mishkan can begin serving the people as a means for them to experience both personal and communal intimate moments with God, he (Aharon) must prepare himself. The first step in Aharon’s self-preparation is his own self-purification process. That first step is reflected in Moshe’s instruction:  Kach Lecha Eigel ben Bakar L’Chatat V’Ayil L’Olah T’Mimim V’Hakreiv Lifnei Adoshem - Take a calf of the herd for a Sin-Offering and a ram for a burnt offering, without blemish, and bring them before the Lord. Before Aharon could serve B’nai Israel, he had to atone for his “sin”.   Rashi, the 11-century French commentator,  cites the Midrash Tanchuma and explains that “this animal was selected as a sin offering to announce to him that the Holy One, blessed be He, granted him atonement by means of this calf for the incident of the golden calf which he had made.” The “Chatat” offering, literally a “sin” offering was to atone for Aharon’ role in the incident of the Golden Calf. Ibn Ezra describes this offering as Aharon’s atonement for that Cheit. Once atonement is made, Aharon is spiritually purified, cleansed, and ready to serve the people.

           According to Ontario Health,  a person needs to remain isolated for ten days from when Covid symptoms appeared. During those ten days, the symptoms were acute and eventually waned. By the 6th day, I did not feel any more symptoms, just incredibly tired.  I still tested positive. Howsoever on the tenth day, I no longer tested positive. I was able to leave the isolation of the basement and return to normal family life and my responsibilities.  Aharon’s atonement allowed him to be purified in order to begin his communal responsibilities. While there was no atonement, ten days in isolation allowed me to be considered purified enough to leave the basement and resume my day-to-day responsibilities to my family and my community. 

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

Let's See With Our Heart These Things Our Eyes Have Seen (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Blues For Allah")

           Our youngest daughter will turn 19 this Shabbat. On this particular year, her secular birthday and her Hebrew birthday fall on the same day. However, this year, because she is in Israel,  we won’t be able to celebrate her birthday with her.  However, I am willing to bet that we will miss celebrating her birthday with her more than she will miss celebrating her birthday with her parents. Of our four children, she is the most blonde, the most artistic, and appreciates the creative process that art embodies. Her Jerusalem apartment is adorned with her paintings. When we packed her year in Israel, she insisted on bringing paint, brushes and small canvases. She finds the creative process of painting cathartic and soothing.  She is the daughter who could spend hours looking at fashion and home design magazines, appreciating the colors, lines, and shapes. Certainly, she has an affinity for the physical realm. Ironically, she is not at all superficial nor is she mesmerized and awed by physical beauty and “perfection”. On the contrary, her eye is drawn to that which is interesting:  the juxtaposition of color, shade, light, lines, and shapes.  When her two older sisters and younger brother comment that my white beard makes me look much older; our 19-year-old notices my white beard in the context of the wrinkles around my eyes when smiling or squinting. She is the daughter that sees the wrinkles and the “youthfulness” in my eyes and comments on that juxtaposition. Because of her artistic eye, she is able to find beauty everywhere. Interestingly enough, my grandmother for whom our daughter is named also had a similar “artistic” eye.

          This Shabbat we read from Parshat Emor. The four chapters that comprise Parsha Emor focus on the various aspects of Perfection. First, the Torah focuses upon the importance of the spiritual perfection and purity of the Kohen. He must remain in a perpetual state of purity. He is restricted in terms of whom he can marry. He is restricted for whom he can mourn. He cannot go to a cemetery. He cannot make sacrificial offerings if he has physical abnormalities. The second of the four chapters reminds B’nai Yisroel that when approaching God with an offering, the individual must be spiritually pure and perfect and so must the offering. These offerings must come directly from the individual making them and not from “the hand of a stranger” (Lev.22:25). The third chapter of the Parsha deals with the perfection and the purity of time. Time is perfect; each season follows another in order, the holidays such as Shabbat, Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot, Rosh Hashanah, and Yom Kippur are designated to come in a particular order. That order is both pure and perfect since time and the designation of “Sacred” time comes from God. The fourth chapter speaks about maintaining purity and the perfection of physical space in this case the Mishkan, and all that is in the Mishkan. The Torah even deals with the perfection and purity of human relationships and the punishments meted out when that perfection, purity, and holiness are violated. In a sense, this last chapter reminds us of God’s charge to B’nai Yisroel.

          The Torah places an emphasis upon the physical appearance of the Kohen as it relates to his spiritual purity and eligibility of serving as the Kohen Gadol.  The last eight verses (21:16-24) explain all the physical abnormalities that exclude the Kohen from assuming the position of Kohen Gadol. Blemishes, blindness, being lame, having any broken bones, bad skin, abnormally long eyebrows, a blemish in his eyed, are but a few of the physical attributes that make a Kohen ineligible for the position of Kohen Gadol.   How can the Torah, with its primary focus upon Mitzvot (commandments) and the importance of deeds and the Kavanah, the intentionality behind those deeds, now focus upon something as superficial as appearance? Sefer HaChinuch, a 13th-century halachic texts that lists and comments on each of the 613 commandments in the order in which they appear in the Torah,  comments: “At the root of the precept lies the reason that most actions of people are acceptable, appealing to the heart of those who see them, in accordance with the eminence of those who do them. For when a man is distinguished in his appearance and good in his actions, he will find grace and good understanding (Prov. 3:4). With all that he does in the eyes of all who observe him. Should he be, however the opposite of this- inferior in his form, or peculiar in his limbs then even if he is correct in his ways, his activities will not be so attractive to the heart…” (Emor 275). As upsetting and politically incorrect as that sounds, the comment and the Torah text infer a keen understanding of human nature. While watching the physically flawed Kohen conducting the ritual slaughtering in a perfectly correct manner; our attention would be upon a perceived flaw in appearance or perceived imperfection. As a result, our Kavanah - our intention concerning our sacrificial offering would be lacking and the sacrificial process would fail.

          We are now thousands of years removed from a Beit HaMikdash (Holy Temple), the institutions of sacrificial offerings, and a Priestly class. The Beit HaMikdash has been replaced by Synagogues, shteibles, or wherever a community gathers to pray. Sacrificial offerings have been replaced by the words and music of prayer. The community no longer relies upon the Kohanim to serve as a conduit between it and God. Rather, the person leading the community in prayer and the community itself connects to God. Over thousands of years, there has been a spiritual maturing of God’s children. While the physical characteristic of a person may have once appeared like a flaw or an imperfection to spiritually immature eyes, now those perceived flaws and perceived imperfections are sources for interest and wonderment as we recognize that we are created in God’s image. As a result of mankind’s spiritual maturation, what had once been a physical “imperfection” is now viewed as part of the panoramic display of God’s presence. So as my wife and I look at pictures of our daughter on her birthday, I think about how our daughter sees the world, sees colors, light,  lines, and shapes. May she continue maturing into a confident, thoughtful, intelligent free spirit who can still see the youthfulness in my eyes despite my white beard and wrinkles around my eyes.  May she continue to find beauty in the world.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

And The Seeds That Were Silent All Burst Into Bloom And Decay (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Eyes Of The World")

          With the conclusion of Passover and the return of our house to normal, I find myself constantly referring to the Jewish Calendar.  Besides counting the Omer every evening since the second night of Pesach, I start checking the calendar because a new Jewish month begins shortly. I check the calendar because this week the Jewish people commemorated Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Memorial Day. Next week, Israel will observe Yom HaZikaron (Memorial Day) and Yom Ha’Atzmaut (Independence Day). I recently conducted a funeral for a Holocaust survivor. The woman died alone. She had no surviving family members. She never married, never had children. She lived with her sister and when the sister passed away she went into an old age home. The lawyer who looked after her estate explained this to me. Normally, I would meet with the family and ask all kinds of questions in order to get to know the story and the life of the deceased. The silence occurs after the family has shared numerous details about the life of their loved one and that silence is the silence of quiet peaceful pleasant memory. For the funeral of this Holocaust survivor, there was only the silence of an elderly woman’s life and an even more resounding silence in her death. There was no one to tell me about her life nor her death. Rather there was only silence.

          This morning we read from Parsha Shemini. The Parsha is comprised of chapters 9,10, and 11 of Sefer Vayikra. In the first chapter of the Parsha, Aaron has now been separated from the camp, and the people for 7 days. He has now become spiritually pure to make offerings on behalf of the people to God. He now makes the first public offering on behalf of the people and God accepts it. The second chapter is a narrative that tells us about Aaron’s two eldest sons, Nadav and Avihu. They want to approach godlike their father did, however, they are not spiritually ready. They offer “strange fire”, and are immediately killed.  Moshe instructs Aaron and his two surviving sons about the appropriate behavior that is necessary when making offerings on behalf of the people. The third chapter of the Parsha discusses all the animals that are permitted and prohibited under the laws of Kashrut.

        Upon the death of Nadav and Avihu, Moshe has to tell his brother Aaron of his son’s death.  Vayomer Moshe El Aharon Hu Asher Diber Adoshem Leimor Bikrovai Ekadesh V’Al P’nei Chol Ha’Am Ekaveid – Moshe said to Aaron: “Of this did God speak, I will be sanctified through those who are closest to me, thus I will be honored by this entire people.” (Lev. 10:3) In as touching and humane a manner as one will ever read, Moshe tells Aaron that his sons have gone to God. Aharon’s response is silence. Vayidom Aharon – and Aaron was silent (Lev. 10:3). He didn’t cry out, he didn’t protest, but rather remained silent. Ramban, the 13th century Spanish Torah commentator explains that prior to Moshe’s words of comfort, Aharon had been weeping loudly. Moshe’s words of consolation calmed Aharon and he became silent. Aharon’s weeping was not only because he discovered that two of his sons had died but he was unable to make sense of the senseless. Parents aren’t supposed to bury children.  Aharon’s silence was not the silence of indifference, nor the silence of emotional shock. Aharon’s silence was the silence of acceptance.  He accepted Moshe’s words and God’s actions. Aharon’s silence indicated that he was able to make sense out of something that seemed senseless. When his sons died, there was someone to weep for them and there was someone to give meaning to their lives and to their deaths. Only in the aftermath of ascribing meaning to his sons' lives and his sons' deaths were Aharon capable of silence. Only then could Aharon listen to Moshe speak to his remaining two sons as to the appropriate manner in which he and his sons, given their stature and role within the community, must conduct their lives.  

          For the funeral of the Holocaust survivor, there was only silence because no one was able to tell me about this woman’s life nor death. I couldn’t help but think about the hundreds of thousands, if not millions of Jews whose deaths were greeted with silence because there was no one to talk about their lives, their deeds, their stories. This was not the silence of a pleasant memory after the memories have been shared. Nor the acceptance of death because that person’s life made sense.  Instead, there was only the silence of not accepting the unacceptable nor trying to make sense out of the senseless. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz

There is none except for you. Except for you I swear to it on my very soul (Robert Hunter &Jerry Garcia - "Reuben and Cerise")

          Our family spent the past week visiting family on the West Coast. While on vacation, one of the common and frequent morning questions came from my wife. Approximately 20-30 minutes after our son woke up, she would remind him to put on his Tefillin (Phylacteries) and daven Shacharit (recite the morning service). Our son wouldn’t respond. Several minutes would pass and my wife would ask “Have you started to Daven?” Again, she did not hear a response. Several more minutes would pass by and our son would walk by en route to doing whatever he decided was the morning routine while on vacation: eat breakfast, play with his cousin, or whatever fifteen-year-old teenager does in the morning while on vacation. As our son would walk by, or even enter the room where his mother was, she would look up at him and this time, express her frustration with our son because he has not only failed to put his Tefillin and daven but hasn’t acknowledged his mother and her numerous requests to do so. As our son leaves and returns to whatever he was in the midst of doing prior to his mother’s requests; my wife looks at me and says: “you’re his father, aren’t you going to tell him to put on his tefillin and daven? Why do I have to tell him?” I smile and remind her that he is fifteen, he has been putting on tefillin for nearly 2 ½ years. He knows how to put it on, he knows when to put it on, he knows how to daven Shacharit, and most importantly he intellectually understands that he is MeChayeiv (obligated) according to Halacha (Jewish Law) to daven. At some point, we must refrain from reminding and hocking him to fulfill this and any other ritual obligations. Rather, he must learn to come to this moment on his own volition, and not because his mother or father asked, cajoled, complained or yelled at him. In the long run, there is a better chance of observing and fulfilling his obligations because he holds by his halachic obligations rather than his parents holding him to those obligations. Needless to say, my wife isn’t very happy with my apparent laissez-faire attitude.
          This morning we read from Parsha Vayechi. This is the final Parsha in the book of Breishit. The Parsha begins with Yaakov calling Yosef and making him swear an oath that he will not be buried in Egypt. He also blesses his grandson’s Ephraim and Menashe. He gathers his sons together and offers each son a blessing or a prophecy. Yaakov dies and his sons take him out of Egypt and fulfill their vow. They bury their father in Heron alongside Avraham and Yitzchak and Sarah Rebecca and Leah. Afterward, the brothers fear that Yosef will finally take vengeance for their mistreatment of him. Yosef doesn’t, and the brothers and their families continue to grow and prosper in Goshen. As Yosef prepares for his death, he makes his brothers vow to take his bones out of Egypt and bury his bones in Eretz Canaan.
          Yaakov’s final dying wish is to be buried in Canaan, in the Caves of the Machpela with his ancestors, Avraham/Sarah, Yitzchak/Rivka and his wife Leah. Yaakov shares this wish with Yosef. Given his position within Egypt, Yosef would be the most likely of the sons who could arrange to fulfill Yaakov’s wish. After sharing his final wish with his beloved son Yosef; Yaakov asks Yosef to swear to him that he will carry out this final wish. To demonstrate one’s “swearing a vow,” Yaakov tells Yosef: Im Nah Matzati Chein M’Einecha If now I have found grace in your eyes Sim Nah Yadcha Tachat Yereichi put, I pray of you, your hand beneath my thigh v’Asita Imadi Chesed v’Emet –and deal kindly and truthfully with me. However, Yosef does not do as his father asks; Yosef does not put his hand beneath his father’s thigh as an indication of swearing an oath. Rather, Vayomer [Yosef] said, Anochi Eseh Chidvarecha – I personally will do as you said. Yaakov, sensing his son’s hesitation, asks Yosef to swear that he will fulfill the request. Finally, Yosef acquiesces and swears an oath to fulfill his father’s request.
          Why does Yosef hesitate? The text clearly conveys that Yosef did not make a “vow” to Yaakov when first asked. Yosef did not immediately put his hand beneath his father’s thigh as an indication of making a vow. Yosef did not immediately say “I swear to bury you with your ancestors”. Why doesn’t Yaakov’s favorite son swear to his father this last dying favor? What kind of son doesn’t swear an oath if asked by his dying father to do so if it means peace of mind and a soul at peace for his father? Yosef’s first answer indicates that he will look after the request personally. Midrash explains the difference between Avraham’s servant’s behavior and Yosef’s behavior: HaEved Asa K’Avadoto Uven Chorin Asah K’Chiruto – Rabbi Yitzchak said: The servant acted like a servant and the free man acted as a free man, The servant acted like a servant, as it says ‘And the servant put his hand beneath his [Avraham’s] thigh; While the freeman acted as a free person: ‘And he said, I will do as you said’’. As a free individual, Yosef is only bound by his conscience. He is free to question. The servant, on the other hand, has no such ability. He is bound to fulfill his obligations whether forced or unforced. The Malbim, the 17th-century commentator explains that Yosef was acting as a son should. Yosef was trying to act out of filial responsibility, based upon his own free will rather than a servant who is bound by oaths.
          There are moments where one’s own volition is not enough to fulfill a final wish. Yaakov makes Yosef swear the oath because he wants Yosef to acknowledge an authority greater than his own. He also wants Yosef to acknowledge an authority greater than Pharaoh. Yaakov wanted Yosef to be completely powerless and act solely on behalf of his father. Under normal circumstances, according to ChaZaL – our Talmudic sages of Blessed Memory, the acceptance of Torah and its commandments are an acknowledgment and acceptance of an external authority greater than ourselves. Intrinsic to that acceptance is a humbling awareness that we are not all that powerful or in control of every aspect of life. Of course, as our son hears me explain that the less she reminds him, the greater the chance that he will eventually choose and then obligate himself. Of course, by obligating himself he is ultimately establishing a relationship with God and obligating himself to God and not his mother nor me. It is part of the growing up process. For me, watching my son grow up to wholeheartedly accept and fulfill these ritual obligations brings me comfort that his mother and I have done something right. Growing up to be a mentsch, a kind, and decent person is perhaps the greatest kindness that our son and his three sisters could bestow upon their mother and me.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

You Told Me Goodbye, How Was I To Know You Meant Please Don't Let Me Go (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "High Time")

My sister and I have friends in Squirrel Hill, a primarily Jewish neighborhood in Pittsburgh. My sister lived there for nearly ten years.  So my family and I listened for the names of those 11 souls that were murdered last Shabbat at the Tree of Life shul in the Squirrel Hill section of Pittsburgh. No, we didn’t know the 11 Jews, ages 56-97. However, these men, women, husbands, wives, brothers were also mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers,  great grandfathers, and great-grandmothers. Children, grandchildren and great children will be mourning the loss of these 11 souls.

This Week we read from Parsha Chayei Sarah. This Shabbat we read from Parsha Chayei Sarah, “the Life of Sara”. It is a rather odd name for a Parsha that discusses’ Sarah’s death, and Avraham’s funeral preparations including a eulogy, crying, and the purchase of land for burial. The focus then shifts from Sarah’s death and Avraham’s caring for her to Avraham’s son Yitzchak and getting on with his life. Avraham instructs his servant to find a wife for Yitzchak from among his ancestors. The servant head back to Avraham’s homeland, he asks’ God for a sign so that he knows which girl is the right one for his master’s son. He finds the girl, convinces her to return with him, the girl leaves home and heads back with the servant to meet her new husband and her father-in-law. They get married. Avraham takes a wife and lives quietly in retirement. The Parsha concludes with Avraham’s death and the death of his eldest son Ishmael.

Sandwiched between the deaths of Sarah, at the beginning of the Parsha, and Avraham Avinu, at the conclusion of the Parsha, we read about Yitzchak’s mourning the death of his mother. His Aveilut, mourning, comes at the time when he marries Rivkah. VaYavieha Yitzchak HaOhela Sarah Imo VaYiKach et Rivkah VaT’Hi Lo L’Isha VaYe’Ehaveha VaYinachem Yitzchak Acharei Imo – And Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother; he married Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her; and thus was Isaac consoled after his mother [‘s death] (Gen. 24:67. What is significant about the Torah telling us that he Yitzchak brought Rivka to his mother’s tent and not just telling us that Yitzchak married Rebecca, took her has his wife and loved her. Why does the verse begin with going into his mother’s tent and conclude with his being consoled about his mother’s death? Rashi, the 11th-century French commentator comments: As long as Sarah was alive, a lamp burned in her tent from one Sabbath eve to the next, her dough was blessed and a cloud signifying the Divine Presence hung over Sarah’s tent. When Sarah died, these blessings ceased, but when Rebecca entered the tent they resumed.

Last Shabbat, 11 lamps were extinguished, and as the children, grandchildren, and Jews of Pittsburgh begin sitting Shivah, the lights will remain extinguished. It must seem that the cloud signifying the Shechina, God’s Divine Presence, has abandoned these 11 souls. Yet we learn that Yitzchak found consolation in the support and love from his wife, Rebecca. Love, embodied in his wife; love provided Isaac consolation, allowed the lamp to be lit and remain lit from Shabbat to Shabbat. Love lights the darkness and love will help bring consolation to the children and grandchildren mourning the loss of parents, grandparents and great-grandparents in Pittsburgh. Love will allow the mourners and a community to sense that God’s presence embodied in the Divine Cloud never really left but remains a source of continued consolation and solidarity.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Steal Your Face Right Off Your Head (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- "He's Gone"

          My wife and I are very different. She gets very emotional about every milestone our children reach. Normally with the arrival at a milestone, my wife will think that our child in question has grown older which of course means that she has grown older. I don’t necessarily see our children’s’ milestones as a reflection of my aging. I’m older and I feel that way. No, I can’t believe that we at the milestone, I can’t believe that the child in question is really old enough to achieve this milestone, and I wonder if reaching the milestone will give them a sense of maturity and becoming a person. Three of our four children reached milestones this week. Our 12^th grader had to make a decision about college/university. So she will spend a year in Israel and with the intention of going university in the U.S. Our 10^th grader just turned 16 and she will be taking her G1 test (permit test in America) before the end of the May. Since we had already sent a daughter to college and we have had two daughters turn 16; I wasn’t too emotional about either milestone. However, I was happy for both daughters who reached their respective milestone. However, it was the milestone of our son, our youngest child, which I found most meaningful. Since the second night of Pesach, as is the custom associated with Sefirat Ha’Omer (The Counting of the Omer); I haven’t shaved until this week which was the 33 day of the Omer (L’AG B’Omer). So I prepared to shave. However for 13 years 8 months and 23 days, our son has never shaved. So on L’AG B’Omer, he and I bonded in a way that he could never bond with his mother. I gave him his first shaving lesson. He shaved his upper lip. I shaved my face.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Emor. In the four chapters that comprise Emor, the first deals with the Kohanim and their very different way of striving for holiness as compared to the rest of the nation. For example, because of the Kohen’s function within society, he must remain in a perpetual state of purity. He is restricted in terms of who he can marry. He is restricted in terms of for whom he mourns. He cannot go to a cemetery. He cannot make sacrificial offerings if he has physical abnormalities. The second chapter reminds B’nai Yisroel that all animal offerings must be blemish free. These offerings must come directly from the individual making them and not from “the hand of a stranger” (Lev.22:25). Both chapters deal with the holiness of certain people, the Kohen and his family, and certain animals, those designated for sacrificial offering. The third chapter of the Parsha deals with the designation of holiness in regards to seasons and the calendar including Shabbat, Pesach, Shavuot, Sukkot, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The fourth chapter offers a narrative in which the son of an Israelite woman and Egyptian man, and another Israelite man get into a fight. The son pronounced the forbidden name of God and was charged with blasphemy. The Torah tells us the punishment for blasphemy is death. This is the same punishment for an individual who commits murder. 

As the Torah upon Holiness and perhaps even Perfection, we learn that striving for Holiness and striving for Perfection requires creating a distinct separation from the mundane, the ordinary, and the less than perfect. The Torah reminds the Kohen, “Lo Yikrechu Korcha B’Rosham U’Fa’at Z’Kanam Lo Y’Galeichu UVivsaram Lo Yisr’tu Saratet- They shall not make a bald spot on their heads, and they shall not shave an edge of their beard; and in their flesh, they shall not cut a gash (Lev21:5). Rashi, the great 11th-century French commentator, explains that certain tribes that lived in Biblical Canaan, as well as Ancient Egyptians, would engage in these types of behaviors while mourning the death of a loved one. Literally, the Torah reminds the Priestly class to be sure and NOT behave like other people, don’t mourn like other people, don’t worship like other people, don’t behave like these ancient tribes of idolaters. The Chatam Sofer, one of the great 19^th century Central European Rabbis, explained that the verse has a homiletical meaning as well. The Torah reminds us not to create a bald spot upon our head, we don’t create an emptiness on our head. The Chatam Sofer understands the emptiness as ignorance, a lack of learning. The head should be filled with Torah, with mitzvoth, with doing good things in the world, and making sound, thoughtful, and intelligent choices. Sometimes that requires the person to be just a bit separate, distinct and apart from those who create an emptiness in their own respective heads. We strive to fill our heads knowledge, with Torah. We avoid creating “empty spaces”, bald spot, in our heads, knowing that what our heads are filled with or not, will be expressed in our behavior, our attitudes our relationship with our loved ones and with God.

So there we stood in front of the mirror. As I looked into the mirror, for a brief moment through the steam of the hot water, and as the mirror began to fog over I saw my father standing with me all those years ago showing me to shave. I saw my grandfather telling me to grow a mustache like he has in order to avoid shaving. My son wiped the mirror clear in order to see and the images of my father much younger than I am now and the images of my grandfather healthy, vibrant, smiling at me was wiped away. As my son and I stood there, I thought about what I had learned from these two men and wondered I would transmit all that I learned from them to my son. One thing is for sure, I won’t wait until our son has to shave his upper lip for the next time to offer them the wisdom of his grandfather and great-grandfather.

Peace,

              Rav Yitz