Showing posts with label loneliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loneliness. Show all posts

Thursday, June 22, 2017

We Will Leave This Place An Empty Stone (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Throwing Stones")



With school coming to an end, and a wife and three children packing up and getting ready for camp, the house had been in a state of chaos; clothes, boxes, duffle bags and sheets were all over the floor. It had become difficult to walk. I could barely get into bed since so much of my wife’s things had accumulated upon our bed.  Then, amid clothes, garbage, bags, and more clothes, something odd began to happen.   Clothes, towels, sheets, shoes and toiletries started to be packed into duffle bags. Full bags which had briefly blocked access in the hallway were brought down stairs. Duffle bags were loaded into the bag of the minivan. My wife and 17 year old daughter drove off ( I will bring our 16 year old daughter and 13 year old son to camp on Tuesday). Amazingly enough, I could see the floor again, I had access to my bed again, and I no duffle bag blocked my access to a room, or a stairway.  The house was starting to empty out. Needless to say when I return from dropping off the remaining two children, the house will be as empty as ever.  It will be quiet as ever and as peaceful as ever. For a little while, that emptiness, that quiet, will be much appreciated and cherished.
This Shabbat, we read from Parshat Korach.  Korach was a relative of Moshe's. They both came from the tribe of Levi. Korach questioned Moshe's authority. He did not do this during a private meeting between individuals. Rather, Korach gathered 250 supporters, and then publicly challenged Moshe. Moshe tried to keep peace within the community, but to no avail. A divine test is administered, and Korach and his supporters fail. The earth swallows them up. However God is angry and a plague falls upon the people. They are communally punished for Korach's actions, their passive support, and their failure to bond together against Korach.  Yet the people are still not convinced that Moshe and Aharon should remain in charge, only that Korach was unworthy. So a second divine test is administered this time with 12 rods stuck in the ground and almond branches resulting in Aaron’s staff, thus symbolizing that God has chosen Aharon to be the Kohen Gadol.  The Parshah concludes with God speaking to Moshe and enumerating Aaron’s priestly responsibilities, all of the entitlements and all the sacrifices that come with the position.
Just exactly who is Korach, did his rebellion begin spontaneously or was it a long time in the making? The Torah begins the Parshah, teaching us Korach’s genealogy.  His great grandfather is Levi, the third son of Yaakov.  This means that he is a cousin to Moshe and Aharon, both of whom were also the great grandson’s of Levi. Without know much more about Korach, we can already guess his motivation behind the rebellion.  The entire power structure, Torah knowledge, and Priestly knowledge, was controlled by the two brothers, Moshe and Aharon.  The other Leviim, we know, had been given certain special tasks focused upon the maintenance of the Mishkan.  Certainly within the culture of the Mishkan, these jobs, and these Levite families were a big deal. However, outside the Levi  tribe, outside the culture of the Mishkan, not too many members from the tribe of Benjamin, Asher, Naftali, Dan or even Judah cared too deeply about the responsibilities of the various Levite families. Their only concern was Aharon, since they brought their offerings to him; and Moshe, since he was the ultimate decisor of Jewish law. Ibn Ezra, the late 11th  early 12 century Spanish commentator explains that the rebellion was hardly spontaneous.  He had been thinking about this since the inauguration of the Mishkan (Tabernacle), when Aharon and his sons were designated to replace the other  first born.  Korach took two leaders from the Tribe of Reuben, Jacob’s biological first born son, but overlooked in terms of spiritual inheritance.  The name Korach, means “Baldness, bald spot, or emptiness”.  Korach wanted to be the legitimate heir to Levi. He wanted to  fill the void of leadership when the Mishkan was being built and a person (and ultimately a family) had to be the head of the Mishkan.  However, Korach also spread emptiness to the rest of the community. For Korach to gain power, he separates himself from the community- Vayikach Korach (16:1). He creates an empty space in order to justify his filling it.
Yes, my house will be empty for a few weeks. It will be quiet, it will be peaceful. As soon as the cleaning late comes, it will finally be clean. It will even stay clean for several weeks. I will even relish the quiet and the emptiness. Those empty places, will remain empty until my wife and children return from their summer camp experience. Then, once again those empty spaces will be refilled. Korach didn’t want emptiness for the sake of emptiness. He wanted emptiness in order that he could be the one to fill it. He looked at emptiness as an opportunity to satisfy his own sense of ego.  We all go through moments of experiencing emptiness.  We can leave those spaces empty and in so doing, make them sacred. We can fill that emptiness with sacred activity such as learning and study of Torah. We can even fill those empty spaces with self aggrandizing activities.  Certainly some choices and motivations behind chosen activities will ultimately become more meaningful and beneficial than others.
Peace,
Rav Yitz

Monday, November 24, 2014

Oh My God, Am I Here All Alone? (Bob Dylan - Ballad of a Thin Man)



Last week, while a small group of Jews in the Har Nof section of Jerusalem were conducting their weekday morning prayers, two Palestinian attacked them and four Rabbis were murdered. An Israeli policemen was killed as the Police tried to capture the terrorists. Many were wounded and the scenes of blood upon the floor, upon the table where people prayed, upon the prayer books and prayer shawls reminded me of scenes from pogroms of 19th and 20th century Europe. Our children heard about it in school and we all watched the news that afternoon and evening.  As difficult as it was to see the destruction and blood in the Har Nof synagogue; it was even more difficult to watch scenes of Palestinians celebrating the attack and dancing in the streets.  Our kids were horrified and disgusted. I told them that the last time I saw that was on 9/11 when Palestinians danced in the streets and celebrated the destruction of the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and thousands of people dying.  As we continued to watch the news; I became more dismayed with the response from the President whom I have now voted for twice. Yes he said what he was supposed to say; he urged calm and condemned the attacks. Yet as a Jew, I felt alone. It was the same feeling I had started to have when the 9/11 attacks happened.  Then, as an American I felt alone as I watched Palestinians celebrate. Then Israel, and Israel’s leadership said that she understood, that America was not alone, that Israel and Israelis understand what is it is to suffer from a terrorist attack and watch as people celebrate. Surely, the President, or some White House spokesman could have offered a more empathetic statement and told Israel that she is not alone; that America understand what is like to suffer from a terrorist attack and watch Palestinians celebrate. However no such empathetic statement was made. As a Jew, as someone who loves Israel, I felt alone. It seemed that Israel truly stands alone.
This week we read from Parsha VaYeitze. This week we read from Parshat VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov will find out what it means to be alone in the world.  He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the last time, he will have to face being alone. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father in- law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus upon Yaakov life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living and all the trials, tribulation, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Yet throughout the narrative he will have to understand what it means to truly be alone. At the beginning of the narrative he feels alone. By the end of the narrative, he has formed a key relationship and as a result, will never feel alone or abandoned again.
Yaakov acknowledges his loneliness at the beginning of the Parsha. He doesn’t even feel connected to God. First God speaks to Yaakov in the dream: Ani Adoshem Elohei Avraham Avicha, V’Elohei Yitzchak HaAretz Asher Atah Shocheiv Aleha Lecha Etnenah U’LeZarecha – I am Hashem, God of Abraham your father and God of Isaac; the ground upon which you are lying, to you will I give it and to your descendants (28:13). In the dream, God offers Yaakov protection wherever Yaakov goes. In a sense God volunteers to be Yaakov’s God as well.  When Yaakov wakes up from the dream he still does not feel reassured: Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi Ushmarani Baderech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holech v’Natan Li Lechem L’echol Uveged Lilbosh, vShavti b’Shalom el Bet Avi v’Hayah Hashem Li Le’lohim.  If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and clothes to wear, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God.  Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi Ushmarani Baderech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holech v’Natan Li Lechem L’echol Uveged Lilbosh, vShavti b’Shalom el Bet Avi v’Hayah Hashem Li Le’lohim.  If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and clothes to wear, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God.   For Yaakov, being alone is a function of not have what to eat, what to wear and mostly; being alone is feeling exiled from his parents.  After nearly twenty years, as Yaakov has matured, is married, has children, and property, he wonders if it is time to leave Lavan and his exile.  VaYomer Adoshem el Yaakov Shuv el Eretz Avotecha Ulmoladtecha V’Eheyeh Imach – And Hashem said to Yaakov: “Return to the land of your fathers and to your native land, and I will be with you (31:3). It took nearly two decades for Yaakov to understand that even when he thought he was alone, he wasn’t truly alone. The miracles of his life, his wives, his children, his economic success indicated that God was involved and his God as well as Yaakov’s father’s God.
Yes, it may seem that Israel stands alone. Even when Palestinians dance at other terrorist attacks and those countries fail to offer empathy to Israel when Palestinians dance and celebrate terrorist attacks upon Israel; Israel is not alone. As Palestinians continue to dance and celebrate the loss of life in Israel and in other countries, the world will eventually see which country, which people are the embodiment of B’nai Yaakov, the children of Jacob, and which people are the embodiment of B’nai Esav, and B’nai Lavan, the children of Esau and the children of Lavan.

Peace,
           Rav Yitz