Got To Find A Private Line (Ron McKernan- "Operator")

The North American Jewish world was further divided these past few weeks when the United States who normally vetoes UN resolutions against Israel abstained instead. It is interesting to note that this was the first time in the eight year Obama administration that the US abstained rather than vetoed a resolution.  This first and last abstention under the Obama administration equals the same number of abstentions that occurred during the eight years of the George Bush Jr. administration. By the way, Ronald Reagan’s eight years saw the US abstain eight times in UN Israel resolutions.  However those are historical and statistical facts. It doesn't relieve my disappointment with the recent U. S. abstention.  My disappointment is not because this administration spoke truth to power and disagrees with Netanyahu and the settlers. My disappointment is not because there is an enormous financial and spiritual cost that results in sacrificing Israel's national morality.  I believe in a Jewish state. I believe that Israel must remain Jewish and democratic, based upon the democratic ideals under which it was established.  My frustration, my aggravation, and my deep disappointment in the recent U.S. abstention stems from the fact that the administration chose to speak truth to power in the corrupt and hypocritical halls of the United Nations.  I would have preferred that these two nations, these allies, approached each other as friends dedicated to the ideals upon which Israel was founded.

This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity and the brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brother’s return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers add that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including: Jacob, the brothers, their wives and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is re-united with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

For the ChaZaL, the Sages of Blessed Memory, the Sages of the Talmud, the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of the Yaakov’s sons; the confrontation is much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. For ChaZaL, the word VaYiGaSh refers to Yehudah girding himself for war. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dresses Egyptian, and speaks Egyptian embodies the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. However, according to the Or HaChayim that is not the plain meaning of the word. The Or HaChayim explains that if Yehudah was “girding himself for war” then he would not have spoken so respectfully and politely to Yosef: Bi Adoni “if it pleases my lord”. Nor would Yehudah be concerned with antagonizing Yosef’s anger. Instead,  Yehudah’s approaches  Egypt’s second in command  not girded for war but confidently approaches bypassing guards and advisors and manages to speak quietly and privately into the minister’s ear. Make no mistake, when Yehudah tells the minister that he is just like Pharaoh, when he speaks truth to power, Yehudah does it in a whisper, privately, without causing embarrassment to second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire.

Yehudah’s approach to Joseph was based upon several factors. First, he felt a deep sense of responsibility for his brother Benjamin. Second, he felt a deep sense of responsibility and commitment to his father. Third, he felt a deep sense of respect of the power and authority of the man standing before him and what that man represented.  As a result, Yehudah had to project the perfect blend of strength and humility. He had to speak politely yet forcefully. Most of all he had to make sure that that he wouldn’t embarrass the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. I only wish that more of an effort had been made by this administration to speak truth to power in a manner that was more dignified and respectful than an abstention in a UN resolution.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

And Or It Will Require A Change That Hasn't Come Before (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia, Phil Lesh - "St. Stephen")

A few days ago I conducted a funeral. While meeting with the family prior to the Levayah (funeral), I was asked if I believed that people could change, change their behavior and even their personality. Certainly, Judaism is pretty clear about the possibility of change. Because Judaism is behaviorally based and not dogmatically based, we believe that if the behavior changes, then ultimately the individual will change. Among the most prevalent themes of the Yamim Noraim (High Holidays) is the notion that we are capable of changing our behavior, changing ourselves, improving ourselves and becoming better versions of ourselves. Certainly, I want to believe that, and as a Rabbi that is my first response. However I don’t think it is so simple. Changing a personality, changing who we are, changing our core seems a rather daunting task. Several years ago, a book by Stephen Guise entitle Mini Habits: Smaller Habits Bigger Result appeared. The theory, based upon Lao Tzu’s famous pearl of wisdom “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a small step”, begins with the brutally realistic view of human nature. Guise explains change is predicated upon two ingredients: intention and over estimating competence. Big intentions and big ambitions are worthless if they don’t bring results. The lack of intended result harms and defeats the person and then he/she will eventually stop the process. The Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias that people generally over estimate their competencies. For Guise, this means that “self-control” is a competency and, in general we think we have much more self-control than we really do. This unrealistic evaluation of our self-control also contributes to our inability to change.

This week we read from Parsha Vayishlach. We read about Yaakov and Esav’s reunion. We read about Yaakov’s daughter Dina and her unholy tryst with Shechem a member of the Hivvites. We learn of what many consider to be the fanatical response on behalf of her brother Shimon and Levi. Yaakov returns to Bet El, the place where he dreamt of the ladder many years before, builds and altar, and receives the covenant from God. During that process, God changes his name from Yaakov to Yisroel. And while we read about the name change at the very beginning of the Parsha, that name change was given by another being (Gen. 32:29). Rachel dies as well as a wet nurse named Deborah. Finally we read a list of Yaakov’s children as well as Esav’s.

Yaakov’s trepidation prior to his re-union with his brother stems from the one unanswered question. Has Esav really changed? Yaakov just crossed the Yabok River and is unsure as to what to expect from his brother Esav.  VaYaratz Esav Likrato VaiChabkeihu, VaYipol Al Tzavarav Vayishahkeihu Vayivku – Esav ran toward him, embraced him, fell upon his neck, and kissed him; then they wept (Gen. 33:4). Certainly at first blush, Esav appears to have forgiven his brother. Certainly it appears that the decades have washed away Esav’s animosity towards his brother.  It appears that Esav has changed. The plain meaning of the text suggests this. However, the plain text, the simple meaning is focused upon behavior, upon the margins and not at the core. Imagine not seeing someone for thirty years for fear of your life. Then as you approach; the person runs towards you. Are they a friend or foe? When you embrace, would it be out of the question to wonder if this hug felt more like an assault instead of a loving embrace? While wondering about the hug, what happens when the person falls upon your neck and kisses you on the neck? Is this a kiss of brotherly love or the proverbial “kiss of death”? Yet all these questions were cause for Yaakov’s trepidation during this reunion. 

One thing is clear however, the narrative concludes with Esav first expressing a desire to escort Yaakov and his family to their destination. When Yaakov politely rebuffs Esav’s offer; Esav suggest that some of his armed men should escort Yaakov and his family. Again, wary of his brother, Yaakov politely responds Lamah Zeh Why this (suggestion), Emtzah Chein B’Einei Adoni Let me just have favor in my Lords eyes. VaYashav BaYom HaHu Eisav L’Darko Seirah So Esav started back that day on his way toward Seir. V’Yaakov Nasah Sukkotah - but Yaakov traveled to Sukkot (Gen. 33:15-17). The brothers go their separate ways. They don’t hug and kiss each other good bye, or at least the Torah text doesn’t tell us that they hugged and kissed each other good bye. Rather there is an offer by Esav to take Yaakov to Seir. Perhaps Esav thought he was being nice, perhaps he was trying to lull Yaakov into a trap and planned to wipe out Yaakov and his family later.  Yaakov understood that while his brother’s outward behavior may have changed, it was more realistic to assume that his core, big brother Esav hadn’t changed at all, For the sake of the future safety of his family Yaakov was best served by staying as far away as possible from his brother. 

 Yes, at first blush it was so easy for Yaakov and Esav to hug and kiss each other, to weep together.  Over the course of twenty years, maybe each had marginally softened, perhaps they had become better versions, more honest versions of themselves. However, at their respective cores, Yaakov, ever the spiritual clinger now grasps firmly to Hashem. This is worthy of a new name or an additional name: Israel.  Esav, ever the hunter, would wait for his prey to grow careless then go in for the kill. There is nothing in the text to suggest that Esav has an ability to engage in introspection. He hunts. His viewpoint is external, the prey. At the core, he is who is. So do people change? It seems that change is only possible if they are brutally honest and they are inclined to embrace the effort required to engage in mini habits with an eye towards big results.

Peace,

Rav Yitz