Standing On The Moon, Where Talk Is Cheap And Vision True (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Standing On The Moon")

           Maybe it’s me, but I think that elected officials should only use social media when they are being “social”. Using social media to introduce a new policy, to emote, gloat, complain, chastise,  intimidate, slander, fire, or make public pronouncements without the scrutiny of the non-fake, non-conspiracy-oriented news media places too much emphasis on the “media” and not enough emphasis on the “social”.  If an elected official would like to use social media to be “social”, to show us social aspects of his/her life, funny incidents that occurred, a cute family picture with greater emphasis upon the “social” of “social media” then,  by all means, use social media. With a greater emphasis upon the “social”, the elected official appears like the rest of us, more approachable and ordinary.  With a greater emphasis upon “Media”, the elected official creates a more toxic and dangerous way to govern and a more toxic and dangerous way to exercise authority. By placing a greater emphasis upon the “Media” and not the “Social” the elected official demeans the office,  violates the public trust, corrupts the nature of being a public service, and indicates a shortcoming in character and public discourse.

This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity, and the brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brothers return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers add that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including Jacob, the brothers, their wives, and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is reunited with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

For the ChaZaL, the Talmudic Sages of Blessed Memory,  the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of Yaakov’s sons; represents something much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. For ChaZaL, the word VaYiGaSh refers to Yehudah girding himself for war. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dresses Egyptian, and speaks Egyptian embodies the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. However, according to the Or HaChayim, the 18th-century Morrocan commentator, suggests that “girding for war” is not the plain meaning of the word VaYiGaSh. Rather the Or HaChayim explains that if Yehudah was “girding himself for war” then he would not have spoken so respectfully and politely to Yosef: Bi Adoni “if it pleases my lord”. Nor would Yehudah be concerned with publicly antagonizing Yosef’s anger. Instead, Yehuda directly approaches Egypt’s Second Command,  bypassing his guards and advisors, and manages to speak quietly and privately into the minister’s ear. Make no mistake, when Yehudah tells the minister that Pharoah’s Second in Command is just like Pharaoh, it is meant as an indictment and insult. Indeed, Yehuda speaks truth to power; he does so in a whisper, privately, without causing embarrassment to the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Yehudah’s approached Yosef so as not to publicly embarrass or anger him for several reasons. First, he felt a deep sense of responsibility for his brother Benjamin. Second, he felt a deep sense of responsibility and commitment to his father.  So Yehuda felt obligated and compelled to approach Yosef, however, he could not approach in a meek subservient manner. Third, he felt a deep sense of respect for the power and authority of the man standing before him and what that man represented.  As a result, Yehudah had to project the perfect blend of strength and humility. He had to speak politely yet forcefully. Most of all he had to make sure that he wouldn’t embarrass the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Only after this confrontation was Yosef able to reveal himself, and his character to the brothers.  Only then could he reveal the fact that he had no desire for retribution, no animosity but rather only joy, relief, and concern.

Character, both individual and national manifests in a myriad of ways. In today’s day and age,  Character is routinely revealed in the public discourse on social media. However, more often than not, we learn more about the character of the person that posts, than the subject matter or the person about whom the poster posts. Indeed, the tension and the confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef, as perceived by the Sages to demonstrate the mystical tension between Israel and Egypt. This tension quickly dissipated once Yosef revealed his identity. Only by revealing his identity and making himself vulnerable; was Joseph able to show the content of his character, the contentment in his soul rather than a desire for retribution. Yehuda confronted Yosef, prior to announcing his identity, in a private quiet manner. Yosef revealed his identity to his brothers only when they were alone. Imagine what social discourse, cancel culture and public shaming would look like if Yehuda was more publicly demonstrative and putting greater emphasis upon the ”social” instead of the “media”.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Am I Living Truth Or Rank Deceiver (Gerrit Graham & Bob Weir - "Victim Or The Crime")

Every so often, someone in our home becomes keenly aware of the cultural differences between growing up in Toronto and growing up in New Jersey or California. Most of the time these cultural differences are cute little idiosyncrasies. Once in a while they are enormous cultural clashes that leave us feeling as if we are caught between the proverbial “rock and a hard place”.  Such a cultural clash occurred as our 17 year old took her standardized tests that are required by most U.S. universities and colleges. Such standardized tests are not required by any school that we are aware of in Ontario. These standardized tests have been a part of the U.S. educational fabric since the 1920’s. Indeed, they are a rite of passage. Not some rite of passage based upon symbolic ritual, but a rite of passage that, from the person going through it, can make or break dreams of acceptance into a desired college or university. Growing up with the standardized test as part of the High School experience, high school offer programs to help students prepare and guidance counselors offer students coping mechanisms to help them deal with the stress, and students, if they can afford it, take a course and learn how to take the test. However, as I reminded our daughter, just as my parents reminded me, that standardized tests are not a measure of the content of one’s character nor are these tests an indication of whether the person is a kind, decent, mentsche.   

This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity and the brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brother’s return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers add that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including: Jacob, the brothers, their wives and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is re-united with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

For the ChaZaL, the Sages of Blessed Memory, the Sages of the Talmud, the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of the Yaakov’s sons; the confrontation is much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. For ChaZaL, the word VaYiGaSh refers to Yehudah girding himself for war. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dresses Egyptian, and speaks Egyptian embodies the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. However, according to the Or HaChayim that is not the plain meaning of the word. The Or HaChayim explains that if Yehudah was “girding himself for war” then he would not have spoken so respectfully and politely to Yosef: Bi Adoni “if it pleases my lord”. Nor would Yehudah be concerned with antagonizing Yosef’s anger. Instead,  Yehudah’s approaches Egypt’s second in command not girded for war but confidently approaches bypassing guards and advisors and manages to speak quietly and privately into the minister’s ear. Make no mistake, when Yehudah tells the minister that he is just like Pharaoh, when he speaks truth to power, Yehudah does it in a whisper, privately, without causing embarrassment to second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Yehudah’s approach to Joseph was based upon several factors. First, he felt a deep sense of responsibility for his brother Benjamin. Second, he felt a deep sense of responsibility and commitment to his father. Third, he felt a deep sense of respect of the power and authority of the man standing before him and what that man represented.  As a result, Yehudah had to project the perfect blend of strength and humility. He had to speak politely yet forcefully. Most of all he had to make sure that that he wouldn’t embarrass the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Only after this confrontation was Yosef able to reveal himself, and his character to the brothers. Only then could he reveal the fact that he had no desire for retribution, no animosity but rather only joy, relief and concern.

Character is revealed in a myriad of ways, but a standardized test is not one of them.  Rather character might be revealed by speaking forcefully without demeaning or embarrassing the other. Character might be revealed by showing forgiveness. Indeed, the tension and the confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef, perceived by the Sages to foreshadow the mystical tension between Israel and Egypt, quickly dissipated once Yosef revealed his identity. Only by revealing his identity and making himself vulnerable; was Joseph able to show the content of his character, the contentment in his soul rather than a desire for retribution. As I picked up our daughter from that very difficult day, I explained to her that just by sitting for the exam; college admissions people learned more about her as a person than some score. Buoyed by the experience and knowing that she could get through it; she already wanted to know the next opportunity to write the test just in case her scores were not satisfactory enough.

Peace,

Rav Yitz 

Where All The Pages Are My Days, And All My Lghts Grow Old (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Attics of My Life")

My wife,  kids and I  walked around one of Toronto’s upscale malls several days ago. We concluded our mall visit at Indigo’s, Canada’s version of Barnes and Noble. The books on display usually reflect the bestseller list. So, as I wandered, I went to my NY Times phone app and looked to see the NY Times Best Seller List. I notice that one of the marketing displays showed books with titles containing four lettered expletives. It seems that this isn’t just a marketing tool of Indigo's, but several self- help authors, one of whom has been on the New York Times Bestseller list for 103 weeks. Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art Of Not Giving a *&#@, explains that much of our stress, and unhappiness is a result of caring too much about all the wrong things. He points out that in our desire to try to make things better, to “turn lemons into lemonade”; we contribute to the stress of a bad situation by trying too hard to make it better. He explains that stress would diminish if we learn how to “deal with the lemons”,  and not worry about what everyone else says, thinks, or looks at us as. Instead, we should learn how to stomach the lemons. Certainly, the book is a bit counter intuitive and humorous, but it makes an important point about stress. Chronic stress can speed up the aging process. Chronic stress can make our lives miserable.

In this week’s Parsha Vayigash, Yosef reveals himself to his brothers. He urges his brother, Yehudah, to bring his father down to Egypt in order to reunite father and son as well as save him from the famine. Yosef arranges for his brothers and all their households to live in Goshen, thereby preserving their livelihood as shepherds. Yosef then brings his 130 year-old father to meet Pharaoh. After a very revealing exchange, Yaakov blesses Pharaoh. The Parsha concludes with all Yaakov’s sons, and their households, and cattle settling down again. However, instead of Canaan, they settle down in Goshen. There, in Goshen, they thrive.

While last week’s Parsha embodied the theme of appearances, this week’s Parsha is all about the effect of emotions upon appearances. Specifically, we read that Yosef could no longer contain his anguish and his excitement at the possibility of seeing his father. Later towards the end of the Parsha, Pharaoh looks upon this 130 year old man and asks, Kamah Yemai Shnei Chayecha “How old are you”? We see what life has done to Yaakov and his response indicates that he understands that his life hasn't been easy. “Uma’at Shanah V’Raim Hayu Y’mei Shnei Chayai, V’lo Hisigu et Y’mei Shnei Chayai Avotai Bimei M’gureihem” Few and bad have been the day of the years of my life, and they have not reached the years of the life of my forefathers in the days of their wandering (Gen 47:7-9).  R’ Ovadia Sforno, the great Italian Renaissance Torah commentator explains that Pharoah’s question was not a sign of disrespect.  Rather, Pharaoh asked the questions in a state of wonderment, such old age was rare in Egypt. Maybe Egyptians had a relatively shorter life span so seeing an elderly person was a bit shocking.  Sforno goes on to explain that because of Jacob’s many trials and tribulations, Jacob appeared even older than his 130 years.  Yaakov was incredibly self-aware. He understood that there is a difference between years and days, between quantity and quality of life between. Jacob refers to Megureihem, the years of his “sojournings” as 130 years. He equates trials and tribulation to his “travels”; the opposite of his feeling settled and content. Contentment and feeling settled could be measured in days; the stress of trials, tribulations, wandering and never feeling settled were measured in years.  Indeed, Yaakov has had his share of tzuris – trials and tribulations. He spent over twenty years working for his evil uncle Lavan, and fearing his brother Esav. His daughter was violated by Shechem. For the last twenty- two years, he has been living with the anguish that his beloved son Yosef died in the pit. Yaakov has had a highly stressful, difficult and perhaps even tragic life. Life has beaten him up and aged him. Yaakov tells Pharaoh that he is not as old as his father or grandfather, only that his life has been far more difficult and full of stress compared to his father (Yitzchak) and his grandfather (Avraham.).

Our experiences affect us. We know that tragedies age us, and longevity takes a toll upon our bodies, our minds and sometimes our spirit. While Yaakov’s answer indicates that he had been through a lot, his answer is that of a Tzaddik (a righteous person). Not only does Yaakov answer, indicating that his mind is still sound, but his answer gives us insight into his soul. No matter how sad the situation, or tragic the experience, Yaakov possessed within him the element of a fighter. His name is Yisroel, and he is called by this name several times during the Parsha. Unlike Jacob’s father and Grandfather, Jacob is far more approachable. He has dealt with his share of loss, and his share of stress. He has feared for his own life, and as when confronted with bringing his family down to Egypt, he has feared for the welfare and the future of his own clan. No, we may not be leader of a clan, or an entire people. However, like Jacob, we hoped to be blessed with a family, and meaningful life. Pharaoh’s question and Jacob’s answer indicated the importance of living a life full of meaning. Jacob’s answer indicates that his days and years belong to him, the days and years were his path and his life and not his father’s life or grandfather’s life. So, good or bad, happy or sad, difficult or easy, the days and years belonged to him and he took ownership of his own life. Indeed, Jacob, even in old age, serves as a powerful role model on how to age with dignity.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

When You Have Done Your Best And Even More Is Asked Of You; Fate Will Decide The Rest (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia)

Every so often, someone in our home becomes keenly aware of the cultural differences between growing up in Toronto and growing up in New Jersey or California. Most of the time these cultural differences are cute little idiosyncrasies. Once in a while, they are enormous cultural clashes that leave us feeling as if we are caught between the proverbial “rock and a hard place”.  Such a cultural clash occurred this week as our 17 year old took her standardized tests that are required by most universities and colleges in the U.S. Such standardized tests are not required by any school that we are aware of in Ontario. These standardized tests have been a part of the U.S. educational fabric since the 1920’s. Indeed, they are a rite of passage. Not some rite of passage based upon symbolic ritual, but a rite of passage that, from the person going through it, can make or break dreams of acceptance into a desired college or university. Growing up with the standardized test as part of the High School experience, high school offer programs to help students prepare and guidance counselors offer students coping mechanisms to help them deal with the stress, and students, if they can afford it, take a course and learn how to take the test. However, as I reminded our daughter, just as my parents reminded me, that standardized tests are not a measure of the content of one’s character nor are these tests an indication of whether the person is a kind, decent, mentsche.   

This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity, and the brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brother’s return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers add that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including Jacob, the brothers, their wives, and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is reunited with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

For the ChaZaL, the Sages of Blessed Memory, the Sages of the Talmud, the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of Yaakov’s sons; the confrontation is much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. For ChaZaL, the word VaYiGaSh refers to Yehudah girding himself for war. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dresses Egyptian and speaks Egyptian embodies the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. However, according to the Or HaChayim that is not the plain meaning of the word. The Or HaChayim explains that if Yehudah was “girding himself for war” then he would not have spoken so respectfully and politely to Yosef: Bi Adoni “if it pleases my lord”. Nor would Yehudah be concerned with antagonizing Yosef’s anger. Instead,  Yehudah’s approaches  Egypt’s second in command not girded for war but confidently approaches bypassing guards and advisors and manages to speak quietly and privately into the minister’s ear. Make no mistake, when Yehudah tells the minister that he is just like Pharaoh when he speaks truth to power, Yehudah does it in a whisper, privately, without causing embarrassment to second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire.Yehudah’s approach to Joseph was based on several factors. First, he felt a deep sense of responsibility for his brother Benjamin. Second, he felt a deep sense of responsibility and commitment to his father. Third, he felt a deep sense of respect for the power and authority of the man standing before him and what that man represented.  As a result, Yehudah had to project the perfect blend of strength and humility. He had to speak politely yet forcefully. Most of all he had to make sure that he wouldn’t embarrass the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Only after this confrontation was Yosef able to reveal himself, and his character to the brothers.  Only then could he reveal the fact that he had no desire for retribution, no animosity but rather only joy, relief, and concern.

Character is revealed in a myriad of ways, but a standardized test is not one of them.  Rather character might be revealed by speaking forcefully without demeaning or embarrassing the other. Character might be revealed by showing forgiveness. Indeed, the tension and the confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef, perceived by the Sages to foreshadow the mystical tension between Israel and Egypt, quickly dissipated once Yosef revealed his identity. Only by revealing his identity and making himself vulnerable; was Joseph able to show the content of his character, the contentment in his soul rather than a desire for retribution. As I picked up our daughter from that very difficult day, I explained to her that just by sitting for the exam; college admissions people learned more about her as a person than some score. Buoyed by the experience and knowledge that she could get through it; she already wanted to know the next opportunity to write the test just in case her scores were not satisfactory enough.

Peace,

Rav Yitz