Lord, Try To Read Between The Lines; I Had A Feeling I Was Falling, Falling, Falling Lord, I turned Round To See (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia -"Bertha")

           It has been quite an emotional week. This week is my grandfather’s 6th yahrzeit. Six years later, there is rarely a day that I don’t think about him. Three years ago, this week was our son’s bar mitzvah which we celebrated in Israel. Also, three years ago, on the day our son read Torah at the Kotel, Nazis marched in Charlottesville, Virginia. This week, my Rebbe passed away after a long illness. Unable to travel to the States, I had to watch as the service was streamed. Our family attended a Zoom memorial service for a great uncle, my late grandfather’s brother in law (his children and I were very close). We also celebrated with our friends who celebrated their son’s wedding in Israel. We also celebrated our son’s 16th birthday this week. Amid the emotional whipsaw of these moments of joy and sorrow, I have cherished quiet moments of watching the ball game with my son, or a movie with my daughters.

          This week's Parsha is Re'eh. Moshe continues his discourse. He has already explained the Mitzvot, and he continues to do that. Moshe has alluded to the blessings of life if B'nai Yisroel follows God's commandments. He has and continues to allude to the curses that will befall B'nai Yisroel if they violate the most important commandment-idolatry. "See I present before you today a blessing and a curse" (Deut.11:26). V'haklalah Im Lo Tishm'u el Mitzvot Adonai Eloheichem V'sartem Min Ha'Derech Asher Anochi M'taveh Etchem Ha'yom La'lechet Acharei Elohim Acheirim Asher Lo Y'Datem-"And the curse: if you do not hearken to the commandments of the Lord your God, and you stray from the path that I command you today, to follow gods of others, that you did know." (Deut. 11:28) Moshe presents B'nai Yisroel with two pictures, a world when B'nai Yisroel lives up to it covenant with God and one in which they don't.  He reminds B'nai Yisroel of the sanctity of Eretz Yisroel (the Land of Israel), the consumption of foods that are consecrated to the Kohanim and he warns B'nai Yisroel to avoid imitating the Rituals and Rites of the Egyptians and the Canaanites. Moshe reminds B'nai Yisroel to be careful of false prophets, avoiding non-kosher foods, not living in wayward cities, forgiving loans after seven years, caring for the less fortunate, and celebrating the three pilgrimage festivals of Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot.

          The Torah tells us: Ki Im El HaMakom Asher Yivchar Adoshem Eloheichem miKol Shivteichem LaSum et Shmo Sham L’Shichno Tidreshu Uvata SHama – Rather, only at the place that Hashem, your God, will choose from among all your tribes to place His Name shall you seek out his Presence, his dwelling, and come there. Certainly, this is reminiscent of the Kadosh Baruch Hu, at the time of the Akeida, telling Avraham that he will show him where to go with his son Yitzchak. Its reminiscent of Avraham as much younger man, leaving his home and going to a place that God would show him., Certainly we could understand Moshe’s words as a  reminder for B’nai Yisroel that “sanctity”. Holiness, Kedusha is central to  Israel, Torah, and Jewish identity. The Sfas Emet (The Gerrer Rebbe from about 1870-1905) reminds us that HaShem’s choice is not revealed until B’nai Yisroel “seeks”.  We only find answers when we seek, when we look, when we investigate. Because we are commanded to seek Shechino, his divine aspects that dwell among us, we are tasked to seek holiness. Holiness is in Time and Space. Holiness is in our  Neshama, Holiness is in our choices, and in our words, our deeds and the way we live our lives. That is the constant choice we are commanded to make HaYom Today –  a choice that we make each and every day and each and every moment.  

          Indeed, the week has been full of all kinds of emotional swings. Yet it dawned on me that precisely during those moments of joy, sorrow, anguish, and gratitude; “seeking” God is most possible. When we are spiritually sedentary, when we are spiritually lazy, we probably lack the spiritual insight of “sight”  of being able to sense or see God. Yet, when we experience the full range of human experience and emotion, we begin to ask questions. Some ask “why”, although I rarely suggest we ask that question. Rather we ought to ask “How”. How do I make this moment, this moment of anguish, or joy, meaningful? How do I make this moment of sorrow or joy holy? When we ask those questions, and we adapt rituals that express meaning in those moments, we embody the words of the Sfat Emet and seek God. In doing so, we make the week full of anguish, and joy, meaningful and sacred.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Heard A Voice A-Calling, Lord You Was Coming After Me (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Bertha")

My children love to play games with me. No, I am not talking about “Monopoly”, or cards, or any of those kinds of games. My children like to play a game called: “Ignore”. Have you ever heard of it? I am convinced that every home that has teenage children plays some iteration of the “Ignore” game.  I remember playing it with my parents when I was a teenager.   The game can be played at any time of day and under nearly any circumstance. The rules of the game are rather simple. The parent initiates play by calling out to the teenager by making a request of him/her. The teenager ignores the first request. The parent generally should wait not less than 30 seconds but not more than 60 seconds before calling out to the teenager with the same request. Again, the teenager ignores and again after another 30-60 seconds, the parent calls out for the same request, only louder and more specifically. “Hello, I am talking to you” or “can you hear me? I am talking to you.” Now the game changes slightly. The teenager needs to respond, and generally, the response involves a grunt, “Huh” or a question such as “what?” or a statement such as “Ok, Ok, I heard you” or “Ok, I’ll do it in a minute”.  Keep in mind, that those statements are code for “I am ignoring you doing something else that I prefer to be doing rather than anything you request.” Now the game escalates, the parent needs to close the physical gap, stand in front of the teenager and issue the request, thereby making the teenagers ability to ignore much more difficult. The teenager can escalate by ignoring or declining to fulfill the request. Now, the parent faces three alternatives and needs to quickly assess the importance of the request. If the request is unimportant, then the parent can end the game by ceasing to make another request. If the request is important then the parent can utilize leverage in a loud threatening way. However, this usually leads to a delay in fulfilling the request by engaging in a fight, at which point the teenager wins the “Ignore” game. The third alternative requires great discipline but offers the greatest possibility of a parent’s victory. The parent needs to get the teenagers attention and to focus upon the request. To accomplish this the parent still utilizes leverage however does so in a quiet disarming manner. When I was a teenager, I knew that when my father took off his glasses and squint/glare like Clint Eastwood and spoke quietly, that it was time for me to listen, and fulfill whatever request was being made. I never mastered the Clint Eastwood glare like my father. Instead, I try to close the physical distance, and with as much calm in my voice, as I can muster, I turn the request into a transaction. While my father relied on his inner Clint Eastwood stare; I rely on my inner Don Corleone and try to “make an offer they can’t refuse”. I try to speak quieter in a colder more calculating manner and begin with a confirmation that they will ultimately fulfill the request.  Then I make a business arrangement and tell them that I know what their more imminent requests will be and that I won’t be able to fulfill them unless my request is imminently filled. We agree on a reasonable timeframe for the request to be fulfilled and with mutually agreed upon deterrents to prevent potential “forgetfulness”. Then I say “thank you” and the Ignoring game concludes.

This Shabbat we begin the third book of the Torah, Sefer Vayikra by reading from the Parsha with the same name VaYikrah. For all of Bereishit (Genesis) and the first half of Shmot (Exodus), we read narratives. The Second half of Shmot, we read the blueprints of and then the actual construction of the Mishkan – the portable worship station that would accompany Bnai Yisroel on their Trek towards Eretz Yisroel. Now the Torah takes a break from narrative and construction. Now we begin reading the various types of offerings that Kohen Gadol, the High Priest, will make on our behalf. These offerings are the various means by which the individual or the community is able to approach Hashem. We approach Hashem for a variety of reasons, including special occasions for personal reasons: repentance, thanksgiving, and special occasions for communal reasons: seasonal festivals, or daily service.

We are familiar with the language that usually appears when Hashem speaks to Moshe. VaYomer Adoshem el Moshe Leimor – Hashem said to Moshe saying; or VaYiDaBeR Adoshem El Moshe Leimor – And Hashem spoke to Moshe saying. Now for the first and perhaps only time, Hashem neither ‘says’ nor “speaks” to Moshe. Instead, we read   Vayikrah el Moshe -God called to Moshe (Lev 1:1). ” Imagine, God calling out to a person before speaking? The word “VaYiKRa” ends with a letter that is in smaller font size than the rest of the letters that are found in the Torah. So clearly, this type of VaYiKRa is different than the typical kind of VaYiKRA with all the letters being the same size. Rashi, the 11th-century French vintner, and commentator explain that God speaks in a loud booming voice; a voice that can shatter trees and be heard throughout the world. However, this VaYiKRa, was only heard by Moshe. The calling was done so in a loving manner. The diminutive final letter – Aleph; suggests two possibilities.  First, Hashem whispered Moshe’s name in a manner that only Moshe could hear. Second, Moshe was humble enough, as symbolized by the diminutive letter, that his soul was receptive to God’s calling. The result of which Moshe quickly and eagerly responded with Hinneni –“Here I am”.

I can’t imagine Moshe ignoring God’s calling out to him. On those rare occasions when my children don’t feel like playing their games, and they respond to my calling the first couple of times, they always seem surprised that I am nicer, easier going, and my request never seems so neither overbearing nor unreasonable. They even think that I am a good mood. Usually, their acknowledgment elicits a smile from me. I explain to them that no one likes to be ignored and that we get along so much better when we actually pay attention to one another, especially when we hear our names being called.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

TryTo See What's Going Down Lord, Try To Read Between The Lines (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Bertha")

On a typical weekday evening, after Mincha/Maariv (the afternoon and evening services) have been recited, and the final carpool has been driven, I usually walk in only to be inundated with every problem and issue that is plaguing my wife and our three teenagers. “This is broken”, “can you fix this”, “can you help me with my algebra”, “can you help me with chemistry”, or “can you help me study for my Talmud test”? After I perform a few minutes of triage and calm people down; we eat dinner. At that point, everyone views these few minutes of family mealtime as an opportunity to share every hurt feeling, every social slight, and “issue” that each teenager seems to be dealing with. Honestly, it seems like I am watching my wife and children’s lives as soap operas. Sometimes it can be exhausting. I try to get away from it by working out for about 45 minutes. Admittedly, they are all quite respectful of this, otherwise, they know that I won’t have the patience to help them.  For the next few hours I help with household chores, I help with essays, math problems, test, and applications. By 11pm, I am ready to sit on the sofa with a cup of tea and watch my news show and catch up with the world. Unfortunately, I encounter another soap opera of political intrigue, investigation, fragile egos, nuclear tension, and the constant venting of emotion via Twitter. I had hoped that my cup of tea, and listening to the news would have calmed me down, provided some perspective and allowed me to settle myself down for a quiet peaceful sleep.  

This morning we read from Parshah Vayeishev. The focus of the narrative now shifts from Yaakov (aka. Israel) to his most beloved son Yosef. Contextually, Yaakov is at a point in his life where he has finished his spiritual and personal struggles. He now is at a calm and settled point in his life, hence the name of the Parshah: Vayeishev – and he settled. We learn that Yaakov, like his parents, played favorites. He showered Yosef, Rachel’s son, with a beautiful Kutonet Pasim – Coat of Many Colors. Yosef was a bit arrogant. This was manifested in his dreams that portrayed his greatness and the subjugated his brothers and his parents to his power. Needless to say, no one appreciated his dreams, neither his brothers who wanted to kill him nor his father who sent Yosef back to his brothers knowing that they were angry with him (Gen. 37:10-14). Yosef is then removed from a pit, sold as a slave and worked in the home of one of Pharaoh’s courtiers. The parsha concludes with Yosef being sent to prison.

Phew! Yosef’s life sounds like a soap opera. Yosef’s life is full of ups and downs. Yosef was up as a favored son, down when he was admonished by his father. Yosef was down when he was thrown into a pit by his brother, and then he was quite literally up when he was removed from the pit.  Soon after, Yosef was quickly down when he was sold into slavery. However, he went back up again when, as a slave, he was also the manager of the courtier’s business dealings. Yosef was then literally brought down by the courtier’s wife, and then went further down when he was thrown down into the prison. Yet even in prison, he enjoyed an elevated status because of his abilities. Yosef’s life has a certain roller coaster quality to it. He is an individual who has enjoyed success and experienced failure. Frequently, we read of Yosef going up and going down, ascending and descending in terms of direction and not only his spirituality. VaYishlcheihu M’Emek Chevron V’Yavoh ShChema – So he [Yaakov] sent him [Yosef] from the depth of Hebron, and he arrived at Shechem. Hebron is in the south and Shechem is in the north, so from the perspective of direction, Yosef’s going from south to north would usually be categorized as “up”. However, the phrase Emek Chevron is very problematic. Rashi, the 11^th century French commentator, explains that V’Eilah Chevron B’Har, “VYaalu B’Negev Ad Chevron (BeMidbar 13:22) – Hebron is situated on a mountain as it says in Numbers 13:22 ‘they ascended in the south up to Hebron’. Clearly, the language appears confusing. Clearly, the text is geographically challenged. Maybe those two simple words, Emek Hebron, and those contradictory concepts Emek Hebron are supposed to teach us something about the nature of Yosef’s life and our lives.

            Maybe it is too much for me to wish my children’s lives to be quiet and boring. While “quiet” and “boring” suggests calm and even peacefulness; the reality is that human beings are far too complex to have “quiet and boring”. We engage in relationships, we are social beings, and we are spiritual beings. We think and we feel. Life will always have its ups and downs. We don’t even need to look for the ups and downs; it will find us. Of course, this begs the question why leaders go out of their way to “make news”; to do behave and lead as if life was a soap opera or a reality TV Show. As a parent, it is exhausting when a child’s life has the ups and downs of a soap opera. As a citizen, it is exhausting to constantly read about soap opera leadership while there are serious news stories and serious issues that need to be dealt with. Yosef, a spoiled son, a dreamer, a leader and an incredibly talented young man, demonstrates that sometimes a perceived down might really be an up and a perceived up might really be a down. It seems that the key is how we look at the ups and downs and how we handle those ups and downs. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz