Once In A While You Get Shown The Light; In The Strangest Of Places If You Look At It Right (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Scarlet Begonias")

           We have been preparing for this moment since last September’s first day of school. We have talked about it, and we have tried to anticipate our feelings. I tried to downplay it. Earlier this week, our son, our youngest child graduated from high school. Yes, we knew this was going to happen. We circled the date on our calendar. We became acutely aware of this moment with the crossing of various thresholds: acceptance to yeshiva in Israel for his gap year, college acceptances, end of classes, and finally, the completion of his last exam, his senior banquet, and class trip. Despite all the preparation, when our son’s name was announced, my eyes welled up. When his name was announced as the recipient of the Liberal Arts Award for Excellence in English and Humanities, I smiled proudly through tears in my eyes. As I watched him walk out of the auditorium with his diploma, his award, and the big smile on his face; I noticed his blue eyes. His eyes seemed different. Light shone from them. 

          This week we read the third parsha from The Book of Numbers, Parsha Be’Halotcha. In the previous two parshiot: Bemidbar and Naso, B’nai Yisroel takes a census and prepares for its upcoming journey from Sinai to Eretz Canaan. This week, the final preparations are ordered and executed and the departure from Sinai begins. Aaron, Moshe’s brother as well as the Kohen Gadol, lights the lamp for the Mishkan, the entire Levite tribe is purified, offerings made and their service for maintenance of the Mishkan begins. Final instructions for observing Pesach under these new conditions, (they were not leaving Egypt anymore nor had they arrived in the land) were offered, including the case of coming into contact with the deceased and becoming spiritually impure. The narrative tells us the manner in which B’nai Yisroel traveled: sheltered by a cloud during the day and protected by a pillar of fire at night. Then the complaining begins. They complain about the Mannah. They complain about the food. They complain about Moshe’s leadership. Moshe’s sister complains about his wife.

          The first few verses, from which the Parsha gets its name Be’Halotcha seem rather disconnected from the rest of the narrative. Rather, these first few verses seem more connected to the previous Parsha that discussed the various responsibilities of each Levi family and gifts brought by the twelve tribal princes. Left out of last week’s Parsha is the specific role of Aaron and his family.  Now, Aaron is responsible for lighting the Menorah, the Neir Tamid, the eternal light, every day. Aaron is instructed El Mul Pnei HaMenorah- to kindle the lamps toward the face of the Menorah (Num.8:2). What does it mean to kindle lamps (or lights) toward the face of the Menorah? The flames burn leaning towards the center, towards the main trunk of the Menorah.   R’ Ovadia Sforno, the late 15th and early 16th century Italian Rennaissance commentator explains that the three branches on the right side symbolize spiritual pursuits and the three branches on the left symbolize ephemeral pursuits. The flames of each branch bend toward the center to symbolize both the spiritual and the ephemeral bend toward God. The flames on the right symbolize Jewish wisdom and the lamps on the left symbolize secular wisdom. All the flames bend towards the middle to symbolize that all wisdom emanates from God. God is the source of the intellectual and spiritual light. God is the source of knowledge and wisdom.

          The menorah reminds us that knowledge and its pursuit is a Godly endeavor. Indeed, looking into my son’s eyes I saw within him a desire to learn, pursue knowledge, to engage in inquiry and investigation. I saw within him a desire to honestly pursue this intellectual curiosity with passion and honesty. I welled up again, understanding that our son was ready to fuel this light and this passion for learning and I have high school and his teachers to thank.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Walk Into Splintered Sunlight Inch Your Way Through Dead Dreams To Another Land (Robert Hunter & Phil Lesh - "Box of Rain")

           Our seventeen-year-old has come down with a sickness that strikes students in their final year of High School. This sickness is extremely prevalent in Canada and The United States. Our son’s U.S.  and Canadian summer camp friends are coming down with this. I remember having an awful case of it when I was 17 and in my last year of high school. The sickness is called “Senior-itis”. Senioritis for students in their final year of high school focuses upon the profound desire to leave home.  In some cases, the desire is so strong that the student will seek a university as far away as possible.  A less severe case might mean that the student only needs to be an hour away. Because the desire to get out of the parents’ home is so powerful,  life with the 12th grader can be quite strained and tense for the rest of the family. Suddenly rules are questioned, parents are considered to be overbearing and impossible to deal with. The 12th grader walks around frequently aggravated and muttering under his/her breath: “I can’t wait to get out of here.” While all this is perfectly normal and natural, it does carry one enormous risk. It is much safer to have Senioritis when the senior has already been accepted to University or at least a gap year program. Why? Senioritis also affects the 12th grader’s attitude towards school. Senioritis is most dangerous when the student has not yet been accepted because there is still the pressure to academically succeed and apply, all the while dealing with the overbearing desire to leave home.  One should keep in mind that depending on the behavior of the 12th grader, the symptoms can spread. Not only to younger siblings but more importantly, it can spread to us parents. The more the 12th grader becomes impossible; the more the parents can’t wait for the child to get accepted, graduate high school, and actually leave. Obviously, some parents may be more affected than others. In our home, for example, I have become quite vulnerable to our 12th grader’s case of senioritis. Like him, I am getting to the point where I cannot wait for him to leave. However, his mother seems completely invulnerable and can’t stand the idea that he wants to leave.

            This week’s Parsha offers an excellent example of the first steps towards independence, the natural need for reassurance, and mutual trust and faith between a parent and child. Many events occur in Parshat Lech Lecha. Included among these are: Abram leaving his birthplace, traveling down to Egypt and becoming wealthy, separating from Lot, his brother’s son and last blood relative, fight in a battle and killing those men responsible for territorial instability, fathering a son by his wife’s handmaid (with his wife’s approval), and finally circumcising himself at age 99 and all the males in his household, including his son Ishmael.

             In this Parsha, so many things happen to Avram. He is forever running ahead of God; He is forever living life and making decisions. Avram is forever wondering if he is indeed “doing the right thing”.  Like any good parent, God allows Avram to “run ahead”, be independent, and still offer the necessary parental reassurance.  Noach’s relationship was very different than Avraham’s. Noach walked with God suggesting an image of a parent holding a baby’s hands as he/she learns to walk.  Regarding Avram, the Torah says: “And the Lord appeared before Avram and said- Ani El Shaddai Hithaleich Lefanai Veheyei Tamim - I am El Shaddai; walk before Me and be perfect (17:1). Avram is spiritually more evolved; he can walk ahead. However, even when we allow our children to run ahead of us, or give them more and more independence, we still reassure them that we are part of their lives, and everything will work itself out. Six times Avram receives fatherly assurance in the form of a covenant. Ironically, the first time we read of this assurance is immediately following Avram’s father’s death. God tells Avram to leave his birthplace and he will become a great nation (12:2).  God reassures Avram a second time while Avram, literally, walks ahead of God and keeps going until God tells him where to stop. God reiterates his covenant to Avram (12:7), thereby reassuring Avram. God reassures Avram after he made the difficult decision of separating from the last vestiges of his family of origin, Lot (his brother’s son). By re-iterating his covenant (13:14), God reassures Avram that although the decision was painful, it was correct. After worrying whether he behaved appropriately by fighting against the five kings, God re-iterates and reassures Avram a fourth time (15:4). Avram receives reassurance for the fifth time after he drives away the birds of prey that ruined the sacrifice he made to God (15:13). Avram’s sixth reassurance occurs after making the difficult decision of sending away his firstborn son Ishmael.       

           Avram walks ahead of God knowing that God is always around to reassure him. Ultimately this type of relationship breeds a strong sense of security, trust, and faith in the parent figure. Faith breeds faith and trust breeds trust. Certainly, our 12th-grade son might think that he is ready to begin his own version of Lech Lecha. Yet about some things, he still needs to walk with his parents and, believe it or not, still wants to walk with his parents. About other things, the frustration and aggravation that he feels towards us is merely an expression of the fact that he wants to walk on ahead of us. In both instances, he is telling us about his level of self-confidence to handle the first steps of the path of his own lifelong journey.  One thing is for sure, as parents, we never stop trying to guide and teach him so when he does walk on ahead, he remains grounded in his values and the lessons that she learned. Hopefully, as he grows older and well on his journey, his aggravation with his parents will diminish. Perhaps he will even begin to appreciate the wisdom that we transmitted to him. I hope. 

Peace,
Rav Yitz

And If You Go, No-One May Follow, That Path Is For Your Steps Alone

While watching the excitement of the baseball playoffs and the chilling news story about the Washington Post journalist who was murdered in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey and the President’s attempt to cover for the Saudi Royal Family, our son came downstairs with his computer in hand and made a stunning statement. The statement was so important he picked up the remote, turned down the volume and began speaking. He explained that now that he was in High School and the high school as an “Honors List” and a “Dean’s List” he was committing himself to the goal of making the Honors list each semester. I was so shocked, I turned off the television and I asked him if he was sure that was willing to put in all the work, all the sacrifice necessary for the reward at the end of this journey. Until now, he would do only enough work, put forth only enough effort to get by with a decent grade; but he never did the extra little bit more required for the missing 3-5 points on each and every test. I wouldn’t call it lazy, just satisfied with mediocrity. Now instead of his mother and me hocking him and reminding him to study; he wanted to do it himself. He was entirely self-motivated.

This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Eventually, Abram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. Lot, Abram's nephew, and Abram decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of traveling, of a journey both of a physical and spiritual nature.

            The Zohar, the rabbinic book of mysticism, comments upon the first verse "Lech Lecha Mei'Artzecha uMimoladtcha, U'mibeit Avicha El Ha'Aretz Acher Areka- Go for yourself from your land, from your relatives, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you (Gen 12:1). Instead of a physical journey, the Zohar explains that Abram was commanded to embark upon a spiritual journey. The soul, while residing in the World to Come, exists in close proximity to God. Because of the spiritual clarity and intensity revealed there, no free will and no chance for spiritual growth and advancement can occur. Like the angels, the soul in the World to Come is called an Omaid, a standee. In this World, however, we know that a person has Free Will. This means that we all have the opportunity to advance spiritually as long as we remain in this World. The soul in this world is called a Holiach, a walker, someone who goes, and much like Abram went.

            Like Abram, we are all commanded to Lech Lecha. We are all commanded to journey. Sometimes we are very aware of the journey. We, or our children, leave home and travel, or go off to school, or move to a new place because of a job. Sometimes we are aware that we are about to begin a new phase or a new chapter of our respective lives, our respective journey. It seems that we often forget that we journey for our own sake, for our own self- improvement, for our own destiny.  Of our four children, it is the youngest one, the only son, who made it explicitly clear that was willing to do everything he could to make the Honors Roll or the Dean’s List. He wanted to do this for himself.  His self-motivation is evident in his effort and efficiency in which he studies. His self-motivation is evident in his courage and tenaciousness to ask for help and do the work until it is done well. Maybe he is really growing up and understands that he has a journey that is only for his steps alone.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Born Where The Sun Don't Shine, And I Don't Deny My Name (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "So Many Roads"

Among the more irritating qualities of teenagers is their attempt to convey a lack of intellectual curiosity. Certainly this attitude is something that neither my wife nor I model nor condone. Maybe it’s not all teenagers all the time. Maybe this lack of intellectual curiosity exists in some teenagers some of the time.  As parents, there is perhaps no greater frustration than watching our children receive an assignment in English class that involves reading a book and then writing an essay or a paper about some aspect of the book. The frustration sets in immediately as our children’s criteria for choosing the book is the number of pages, the size of the print, and the degree of difficulty.  If I suggest a book, I can all but guarantee that our child will find some inane reason not to read it. Well, I am here to say that we had a momentous breakthrough. Our daughter received a list of choices for her book assignment. One of the choices offered was Lawrence Hill's The Book of Negroes. I had read the book, and I liked the book. Because the book told the story of a young girl’s life of from childhood to old age, and that much of the book involved American history, I felt that our daughter would be able to connect to the text and enjoy it. I explained that when the Book of Negroes was published; it was published in the U.S. with a different title. In the US the book was entitled: Someone Knows My Name.  When she asked why, I told her that was for her to figure out. Amazingly enough my non-answer piqued her interest. Sure she hemmed and hawed, but she read the book. More importantly, she asked questions about the book, she expressed interest in the book. When she finished the book she could appreciate the U.S. title. She even figured out that issues of race are very different in the U.S. compared to Canada, and the term Negro became a derogatory term within the African American community in a very different way than in Canada. She even thanked me for suggesting it to her in the first place. I was shocked, and I was very proud of her.  She exhibited genuine intellectual curiosity and suddenly she became an interesting person with whom I could discuss issues.

This week we begin the second book of the Torah; the Book of Exodus – Sefer Shmot, literally translated into “The Book of Names”. This second book begins with the Parsha Shmot – The Book of Names. The first few verses essentially recount the ending of the Book of Genesis. Shmot re-iterates names of Jacobs’ sons and the fact that Jacob and his sons came to Egypt. We are reminded that Jacob had already died. We are reminded that next generation, Jacob’s sons (including Yosef) passed away. A new king assumes the mantle of power and does not know of Yosef’s great deeds. Instead, the new Pharaoh believed that this foreign population was tantamount to a fifth column. Therefore this tribe must be enslaved in order to prevent their uniting with Egypt’s external enemies. We read about the birth and growth of Moses, and his flight to Midian. We read about his becoming a husband, a shepherd, a father. We learn of his epiphany with the Burning Bush and God’s instructions plan to redeem B’nai Israel from slavery and Moshe’s role in the redemptive process.

Considering, that this is a completely new Sefer, a new Book of the Torah, and that dominant theme of this new book is redemption from slavery and the national revelation at Mt. Sinai, why should the text be known as a Book of Names and why should it begin with a re-iteration of the names of Jacobs’ sons: V’Eilah Shmot  B’nai Yisroel Ha’Baim Mitzrayaima Eit Yaakov Ish U’Veito Ba’u- And these are the name of the Children of Israel who were coming to Egypt with Jacob, each man and his household came, Reuven Shimon, Levi, Yehuda; Issachar, Zebulun , and Benjamin; Dan Naphtali; Gad and Asher. We don’t normally begin a new book with conjunction, especially the conjunction “And”.  Instead of beginning the Parsha and the Book of Shmot with Eilah (These), the Parsha begins with V’Eilah (And these). Also, we know, based upon the conclusion of Sefer Breishit that the sons, along with Jacob, arrived in Egypt decades before (Gen. 46:8-30). Why do these opening verses repeat the concluding verses of the previous book? RaMBaN, (the great 12^th century Spanish doctor, commentator and Halachist), and R’ Bachya (late 13^th early 14^th century Torah commentator), explain that the conjunction which begins the Parsha purposefully connects this new book to the previous book.  “B’nai Yisroel”, the term now used for the extended tribe owe their existence and their future existence to V’Eilah –“and these”…. these sons of Jacob, these sons who were “with Jacob” in his descent into Egypt. Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsh (19^th Cent. Germany) explains that these twelve sons and their resulting twelve tribal families were intimately attached to Jacob, and this was the secret of Israel’s strength and survival in Egypt. Although each son had his own family, he remained connected and united with Jacob. Implicit to these opening versus we understand that the secret to B’nai Israel’s survival in Egypt as slaves: past, present and future were connected through values and covenant of the name of Jacobs twelve sons, Jacob, and his father and grandfather, Isaac and Abraham. The strength of those connections, the strength of being connected to the past with an eye towards a hopeful and positive future kept B’nai Israel spiritually free despite physical hardship and bondage.

The names explicitly mentioned, Jacob and his son’s, stood for something. Implicitly, these names stood for and symbolized a covenantal relationship with God. These names stood for inheriting a land, as well as making a great name for itself. For their descendants, the names gave them an identity, an identity that kept them spiritually free despite their physical bondage.  Our daughter learned the same lesson from The Book of Negroes. People’s names matter. A given name matters as does the surname. Often times, a given name reflects the parents’ hopes and dreams for that child. A given name expresses a parents’ hope of whom the child should emulate, and whose values the child should grow to aspire to and embody. However a surname tells the child where she from and to whom she belongs. A surname provides a backdrop, a narrative for the child to be part of and to expand. Now that she has become a bit more intellectually curious, maybe she will be more enthusiastic to make her name part of her family’s narrative.

Peace

Rav Yitz    

Wait A Minute, Watch What You're Doing With Your Time (Jerry Garcia - "Cream Puff War")

This past week has been particularly tense in our home. Our daughters have been preparing for their mid- term exams. Every night I have returned from a full day of work to study with my daughters and help them with their preparations: one in Talmud and one in Samuel II.  At one point, one daughter sat at one end of the dining room table and one daughter sat at the other and I went back and forth reading with them, discussing with them, and explaining the text to them.  Each night and each morning, the refrain was the same: “There just isn’t enough time,” or “It’s so unfair that I have exams one day after another”. There statements reflected their growing frustration over their lack of control. Their schedules were not within their control. Time did not belong to them. Suddenly, the concept of time, as embodied by their schedules belonged to those who scheduled their respective mid-term exams. By extension, my time didn’t belong to me, it was allocated to my daughters in order to help them study.

This week's Parsha is Bo.  The ten plagues culminate with locusts, darkness and finally the killing of the first born. On the night of the last plague, God instructs Moshe to tell B'nai Yisroel to recognize and observe Rosh Chodesh, the first day of each month. God instructs Moshe to tell B’nai Yisroel to slaughter a lamb for each family. The blood should be painted onto the door- post. The sacrificed lamb must be completely eaten that night with no leftovers.  The command continues with God instructing Moshe to reiterate this story to the children of each family. The Parsha concludes with the command to sanctify the first born, remember this night, remember what God did for B'nai Yisroel, and how B'nai Yisroel eventually returned to the land.

This is perhaps the first Parsha in which God we read of more than one commandment.  Prior to this Parsha, maybe three of the 613 Mitzvot could be derived from all of B’reishit (The Book of Genesis) and the first two Parshiot of Shmot. Now we read both narrative as well as commandments. While the commandment that focus specifically upon Pesach, the commandments such as Korbonot shel Pesach (Passover Sacrifice), eating the Passover Sacrifice, completely finish eating the Passover Sacrifice, eating Matzah, removing the leaven, prohibiting the uncircumcised from eating the Passover Sacrifice, the prohibitions of eating leaven and seeing leaven and owning leaven, sanctifying the firstborn, redeeming the firstborn and recounting Yetziat Mitzrayim, the Exodus from Egypt to name a few. However the first Mitzvah, the first commandment that God tells Moshe, Aharon and B’nai Yisroel does not explicitly focus upon the Exodus but rather upon time and keeping track of time. VaYomer Adoshem el Moshe V’el Aharon B’Eretz Mitzrayim Leimor Hashem said to Moshe and Aharon in the Land of Egypt, saying: HaChodesh HaZeh Lachem Rosh Chodeshim Rishon Hu Lachem L’Chadshei HaShana: This month shall be for you the beginning of the months, it shall be for you the first of the months of the year. (Ex 12:1-2) Certainly all the Mitzvot that follow this commandment, those that focus specifically upon the Exodus, warrant God’s speaking to Moshe and Aharon.        

From a narrative perspective, it makes sense that the Torah tells us that these commandments were issued while they were still in Egypt; B’nai Yisroel had not yet actually left Egypt but rather were making their final preparations. Why is the first commandment issued focused upon counting? This month will be the beginning of months; it will be the first month of the year? How will they know when the next month of begins? Sefer HaChinuch, a 13^th century text written by Pinchas ben Aharon HaLevi of Barcelona clarifies this issue. Sefer HaCHinuch (the Book of Education) lists all 613 Mitzvot in order of appearance and corresponding to each Parshah. Also the author provides a moral and philosophical explanation of each commandment.  Regarding the commandment This month shall be for you the beginning of the months, it shall be for you the first of the months of the year, Sefer HaChinuch says Klomar K’SheTiru CHidosha Shel L’Vana Tikb’u Lachem Rosh Chodesh In other words, when you see the renewal of the moon, you will establish for yourselves the beginning of the month O Afilu Lo Tiruha MiKeivan Shi R’Uyahn L’Heiraot Al Pi HaCHesbon HamKubal – or even if you do not see it , once it is due to be seen according to the accepted reckoning. So the moon’s cycle will serve as the indicator of the beginning and end of a month.  M’SHarshei Mitzvah Zo K’dei Shya’asu Yisroel Moadei HaShem BizMaNaM – At the root of this precept lies the purpose that the Israelites should keep the holy days of the Eternal Lord at their proper times… Before God gives instructions about how to observe the Exodus, these soon to be former slaves must be able to control time, or observe time so that they will know the right time to observe God’s festivals.

            The first step towards freedom is to observe the passage of time, mark the passage of time, and declare the right time to observe time bound commandments. Until now, the master, Egypt, told the slaves when to wake up, when to sleep, when to work and when to eat. Now, these former slavers will have to establish their own schedule and keep their own calendar. Of course this schedule and this calendar must be for a higher purpose. It cannot be a schedule or a calendar in which there is nothing but rather it must be filled with opportunities to engage and celebrate what is to be free; free to serve God.  Yes, my daughters are tired and frustrated. They appreciate that they have been enslaved to the mid-term exam schedule. They also know that this schedule, this sense of a “loss of control” or that “time is not their”; is a valuable lesson. Even within that schedule, they learn how to find moments of time, time that belongs to them. After all they have the freedom to determine the time they choose to invest in studying and preparing for each exam.

Peace,

Rav Yitz