Am I Living Truth Or Rank Deceiver (Gerrit Graham & Bob Weir - "Victim Or The Crime")

Every so often, someone in our home becomes keenly aware of the cultural differences between growing up in Toronto and growing up in New Jersey or California. Most of the time these cultural differences are cute little idiosyncrasies. Once in a while they are enormous cultural clashes that leave us feeling as if we are caught between the proverbial “rock and a hard place”.  Such a cultural clash occurred as our 17 year old took her standardized tests that are required by most U.S. universities and colleges. Such standardized tests are not required by any school that we are aware of in Ontario. These standardized tests have been a part of the U.S. educational fabric since the 1920’s. Indeed, they are a rite of passage. Not some rite of passage based upon symbolic ritual, but a rite of passage that, from the person going through it, can make or break dreams of acceptance into a desired college or university. Growing up with the standardized test as part of the High School experience, high school offer programs to help students prepare and guidance counselors offer students coping mechanisms to help them deal with the stress, and students, if they can afford it, take a course and learn how to take the test. However, as I reminded our daughter, just as my parents reminded me, that standardized tests are not a measure of the content of one’s character nor are these tests an indication of whether the person is a kind, decent, mentsche.   

This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity and the brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brother’s return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers add that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including: Jacob, the brothers, their wives and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is re-united with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

For the ChaZaL, the Sages of Blessed Memory, the Sages of the Talmud, the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of the Yaakov’s sons; the confrontation is much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. For ChaZaL, the word VaYiGaSh refers to Yehudah girding himself for war. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dresses Egyptian, and speaks Egyptian embodies the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. However, according to the Or HaChayim that is not the plain meaning of the word. The Or HaChayim explains that if Yehudah was “girding himself for war” then he would not have spoken so respectfully and politely to Yosef: Bi Adoni “if it pleases my lord”. Nor would Yehudah be concerned with antagonizing Yosef’s anger. Instead,  Yehudah’s approaches Egypt’s second in command not girded for war but confidently approaches bypassing guards and advisors and manages to speak quietly and privately into the minister’s ear. Make no mistake, when Yehudah tells the minister that he is just like Pharaoh, when he speaks truth to power, Yehudah does it in a whisper, privately, without causing embarrassment to second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Yehudah’s approach to Joseph was based upon several factors. First, he felt a deep sense of responsibility for his brother Benjamin. Second, he felt a deep sense of responsibility and commitment to his father. Third, he felt a deep sense of respect of the power and authority of the man standing before him and what that man represented.  As a result, Yehudah had to project the perfect blend of strength and humility. He had to speak politely yet forcefully. Most of all he had to make sure that that he wouldn’t embarrass the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Only after this confrontation was Yosef able to reveal himself, and his character to the brothers. Only then could he reveal the fact that he had no desire for retribution, no animosity but rather only joy, relief and concern.

Character is revealed in a myriad of ways, but a standardized test is not one of them.  Rather character might be revealed by speaking forcefully without demeaning or embarrassing the other. Character might be revealed by showing forgiveness. Indeed, the tension and the confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef, perceived by the Sages to foreshadow the mystical tension between Israel and Egypt, quickly dissipated once Yosef revealed his identity. Only by revealing his identity and making himself vulnerable; was Joseph able to show the content of his character, the contentment in his soul rather than a desire for retribution. As I picked up our daughter from that very difficult day, I explained to her that just by sitting for the exam; college admissions people learned more about her as a person than some score. Buoyed by the experience and knowing that she could get through it; she already wanted to know the next opportunity to write the test just in case her scores were not satisfactory enough.

Peace,

Rav Yitz 

When You Have Done Your Best And Even More Is Asked Of You; Fate Will Decide The Rest (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia)

Every so often, someone in our home becomes keenly aware of the cultural differences between growing up in Toronto and growing up in New Jersey or California. Most of the time these cultural differences are cute little idiosyncrasies. Once in a while, they are enormous cultural clashes that leave us feeling as if we are caught between the proverbial “rock and a hard place”.  Such a cultural clash occurred this week as our 17 year old took her standardized tests that are required by most universities and colleges in the U.S. Such standardized tests are not required by any school that we are aware of in Ontario. These standardized tests have been a part of the U.S. educational fabric since the 1920’s. Indeed, they are a rite of passage. Not some rite of passage based upon symbolic ritual, but a rite of passage that, from the person going through it, can make or break dreams of acceptance into a desired college or university. Growing up with the standardized test as part of the High School experience, high school offer programs to help students prepare and guidance counselors offer students coping mechanisms to help them deal with the stress, and students, if they can afford it, take a course and learn how to take the test. However, as I reminded our daughter, just as my parents reminded me, that standardized tests are not a measure of the content of one’s character nor are these tests an indication of whether the person is a kind, decent, mentsche.   

This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity, and the brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brother’s return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers add that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including Jacob, the brothers, their wives, and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is reunited with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

For the ChaZaL, the Sages of Blessed Memory, the Sages of the Talmud, the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of Yaakov’s sons; the confrontation is much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. For ChaZaL, the word VaYiGaSh refers to Yehudah girding himself for war. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dresses Egyptian and speaks Egyptian embodies the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. However, according to the Or HaChayim that is not the plain meaning of the word. The Or HaChayim explains that if Yehudah was “girding himself for war” then he would not have spoken so respectfully and politely to Yosef: Bi Adoni “if it pleases my lord”. Nor would Yehudah be concerned with antagonizing Yosef’s anger. Instead,  Yehudah’s approaches  Egypt’s second in command not girded for war but confidently approaches bypassing guards and advisors and manages to speak quietly and privately into the minister’s ear. Make no mistake, when Yehudah tells the minister that he is just like Pharaoh when he speaks truth to power, Yehudah does it in a whisper, privately, without causing embarrassment to second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire.Yehudah’s approach to Joseph was based on several factors. First, he felt a deep sense of responsibility for his brother Benjamin. Second, he felt a deep sense of responsibility and commitment to his father. Third, he felt a deep sense of respect for the power and authority of the man standing before him and what that man represented.  As a result, Yehudah had to project the perfect blend of strength and humility. He had to speak politely yet forcefully. Most of all he had to make sure that he wouldn’t embarrass the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Only after this confrontation was Yosef able to reveal himself, and his character to the brothers.  Only then could he reveal the fact that he had no desire for retribution, no animosity but rather only joy, relief, and concern.

Character is revealed in a myriad of ways, but a standardized test is not one of them.  Rather character might be revealed by speaking forcefully without demeaning or embarrassing the other. Character might be revealed by showing forgiveness. Indeed, the tension and the confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef, perceived by the Sages to foreshadow the mystical tension between Israel and Egypt, quickly dissipated once Yosef revealed his identity. Only by revealing his identity and making himself vulnerable; was Joseph able to show the content of his character, the contentment in his soul rather than a desire for retribution. As I picked up our daughter from that very difficult day, I explained to her that just by sitting for the exam; college admissions people learned more about her as a person than some score. Buoyed by the experience and knowledge that she could get through it; she already wanted to know the next opportunity to write the test just in case her scores were not satisfactory enough.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Faring Thee Well Now; Let Your Life Proceed By Its Own Designs (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Cassidy")

Well no sooner than the school year starts and the Jewish Holidays are upon us. With kids in day school, the holidays mean a few days of school and a few days off from school between now and the middle of October. With a daughter in Grade 12 (12^th grade if you speak American), we have entered a new realm of anxiety. Our daughter discovered it late last week. We all know it as the future. Yes, late last week, it dawned on our daughter that she actually had to deal with and make plans for the future. She knows that she has to apply to colleges and universities, she wants to take a gap year in Israel, so she needs to decide on a program that fits her, her interests and the type of learning she wants to engage in. If she is planning on going to university/college in the United States she has to take standardized tests: SAT’s or ACT’s. Late last week, she was overtired, she was stressed about a biology assignment and now the subject of standardized tests came up. She became very upset, angry and didn’t want to listen to anyone or any advice. She knew it all, didn’t like any of the choices and at that moment decided that the only place she was going to the next four years was our basement.  A few days later she actually had a good night’s sleep. That afternoon, a completely different daughter peeked her head outside and saw that I was waking up from a nap. She wanted to talk. She wanted to talk about her future. She wanted to discuss a strategy of how to determine which Israel program she wants to go on. She wanted to discuss colleges and universities in the U.S. or Canada. She wanted to discuss standardized tests. I suggested that we limit the discussion to the Province of Ontario, the Northeast United States where there is a vibrant Jewish student population. We talked. She listened as did I. I assume there was anxiety but suddenly it didn’t cause paralysis; instead she seemed excited about the future.

This Shabbat, the Shabbat between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, is known as Shabbat Shuva, The Shabbat of Return. We read from Parshat Ha’Azinu.  The Parsha is poetry, a song that God had commanded Moshe to compose in the previous Parsha, VaYeleich. Composing this song was the final deed that God commanded Moshe. The song is the final prophecy that God told Moshe in the previous Parsha, VaYeilech.  As a song, it is not contain the most pleasant of lyrics, and it is not particular uplifting or inspiration. The song does not offer such an optimistic future.  Rather, Moshe invokes Heaven and Earth to offer testimony to God’s prophecy and future punishment against his people.  Throughout Sefer Devarim, Deuteronomy, Moshe has taught the law, and inspired Bnai Yisroel to choose fidelity to God and God’s Torah.  Choosing to follow would result in a reward. Choosing not to follow would result in a punishment. Now, during the final moments of Moshe Rabeinu’s life, the song suggests neither choice nor the results of that choice. Instead we are told that we will choose badly and that we will be punished.  There is nothing explicit within the song that suggests or even offers a means by which we are able to do Tshuva (repent) and ultimately return to God. While intellectually, Moshe has taught that concept to Bnai Yisroel; here in the song that possibility is not explicit.

However when the song is complete, Moshe speaks his word to Bnai Yisroel. His words offer a sense of hope, a sense of inspiration. He reminds Bnai Yisroel that even when they have grown distant from God, even though the resulting punishment will be brutal; there is still a measure of hope, hope for the next generation.  SImu Levavchem L’Chol Hadvarim Asher Anochi Mei’id Bachem Hayom, Asher T’Tzavoom et Bnaichem Lishmor La’Asot et Kol Divrei HaTorah Ha’Zot -  Apply your hearts to all the words that I Testify against you today, with which you are to instruct your children, to be careful to perform all the words of this Torah.  Ki Lo Davar Reik Hu Mikem Ki Hu Chayeichem Uvadavar HaZeh Ta’Arichu Yamim – for it is not an empty thing for you, for it is your life, and through this matter shall you prolong your days on the Land to which you cross the Jordan to possess it. In Moshe’s final moments, he reminds us that the key to our survival is to teach Torah to our children. Yes, according to the song, we will grow distant from God, yes we will engage in idolatry. Yes we will be punishment. However there will always be hope for the next generation if they are educated in such a manner that when it comes time for them to make a choice; they choose wisely, they choose God’s Torah.  Moshe reminds his people that the Torah is not empty. Rashi reminds us that if we find Torah to be empty and unsatisfying then the fault lies with us, Mikem.

             While the conversation with my daughter lasted only about 30 minutes. It seemed positive or at least it will be positive until the anxiety becomes overwhelming again.  For now at least, for the past few days, she doesn’t seem to be dreading the future. No she doesn’t know specifically which program for her gap year, no she hasn’t been accepted nor has she even applied to colleges and universities. In fact, she sat down and began looking at the ACT examination, and began preparing for that standardized exam. However, she understands that there are things that she has to do, things she has to find out about, information she needs to obtain and a strategy that she needs to follow in order to achieve her five year future. She understand that if she engages in this process with an open heart and positive attitude; then her future won’t be such an empty thing.

Gmar Chatima Tova – May we all be sealed in the Book of Life,

Peace,

Rav Yitz