Lately It Occurs To Me What A Long Strange Trip It's Been (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia, Phil Lesh & Bob Weir- "Truckin' ")

           I recently visited my parents. I wanted to check on them as they continue to recover from Covid. While we were eating dinner, we began to speak about future life cycle events and opportunities for our family to spend time together. In the upcoming year, there will be University Graduation and a grandson learning in Israel and returning next summer. Since my parents are both 80, they also hope that they can see their grandchildren get engaged and married. As we spoke of these imminent and hopeful future lifecycle moments, a discussion that was clearly focused on the future; something odd began to happen. With each grandchild and their future lifecycle events, my parents began talking about past events. With an eye toward the future, both of my parents continued to discuss the path that each grandchild had taken.

          This morning we read from Parsha Matot/Masei. These are the final two parshiot of Sefer BaMidbar (Book of Numbers).  Like the end of most books, Matot/Masei ties up numerous loose ends. It ties up the loose ends of the narrative such as how to deal with the Midianites following the episode with Pinchas, the daughters of Tzelophchad, and issues of inheritance, as well as the borders of Eretz Canaan, and the Cities of Refuge. All these final issues must be dealt with since, from a narrative perspective, B’nai Yisroel is spiritually and physically ready to cross the Jordan River and enter Eretz Canaan. B’nai Yisroel is about to realize the Brit, the covenant that God made with the Avot: Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov.

     Whenever an individual, a group, a community, or a people stand on the precipice of a realized goal; looking back upon the journey only makes sense.  Whenever an individual, a group, a community, or a people experience anxiety about the ability to handle future unknowns; looking back at past lessons also seems to make a lot of sense. We look back upon the journey for a variety of reasons. First, we look back upon the journey in sheer wonderment; we cannot believe we have traveled so far and finally achieved. Second, we look back upon the journey in order to provide context and meaning for all those who joined in the journey towards the middle or the end. Third, we look back upon the journey as a series of opportunities that were necessary in order to realize the stated goal. Fourth, we look back knowing that we overcame past obstacles and fears, then we should be able to overcome future anxieties, obstacles, and fears.  Eilah Masei V’nai Yisroel Asher Yatzu M’Eretz Mitztrayim L'tzivotam  B’Yad Moshe v’Aharon – These are the journeys of the Children of Israel, who went forth from the Land of Egypt according to the legions under the hand of Moshe and Aharon … V’Eilah Maseihem L’Motzaheihem – And these are their journeys according to their departures. (Num. 33:1-2) God commanded Moshe to keep a record of their travels according to their Maseihem - destination. This is means of recording based upon positive expectations when there were no travails, issues, or problems. Moshe also kept a record of their travels based upon Motzaheihem -  their departure, when there were travails, issues, and great difficulties, when people murmured against God, against Moshe, etc. Now that Bnai Yisroel stands on the brink of entering Eretz Canaan, all the experiences, both positive and negative gave Bnai Yisroel an opportunity to learn Faith.  The journey and all that was experienced during that 40-year journey were necessary in order to arrive at this point in time.

          One of the final commandments that God gives to Moshe is to record where B'nai Israel had been.  Before embarking on the future, B'nai Israel needed to know from whence they came. As my parents and I finished dinner, I thought that the seamless shift between the future paths of their grandchildren's lives and the paths that they traveled took an interesting twist. They both understood and appreciated that the path that their grandchildren had taken, and the anticipated future lifecycle moments have a lot to do with the path the parents have taken and in turn the path that the grandparents have taken. At that moment, generations, choices, and paths taken became interconnected; past and future merged. The lesson became clear. One needs to know where one comes from in order to make the wisest decisions on the path forward towards the future. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz 

Lately It Occurs To Me What A Long Strange Trip It's Been (Robert Hunter, Phil Lesh, Bob Weir, & Jerry Garcia - "Truckin"

          We just celebrated our son’s Hanachat Tefillin at his camp. We are four weeks away from his Bar Mitzvah. Hopefully our son has managed to find time each day to study his Torah Portion and his Haftarah; but I doubt it. The one person who has been working almost as hard as him has been his mother. She has done all the planning. She figured out how to make sure that we have a spot at the Kotel (The Wall) so that our son can read from the Torah; she called the restaurant and figured out a menu, she made arrangements with the synagogue in Efrat, and that was before she left for camp at the end of June.  When we have spoken during here five weeks at camp; she has also made arrangements for hikes, for site seeing and for various tours. What I have done in preparation for our son’s Bar Mitzvah? I guess I have thought a lot about what our son’s Bar Mitzvah means to me, to my family. I can’t help but think about my Bar Mitzvah decades and decades ago. I can’t help but think of my journey.  I can’t help but think of the people that were so influential in my life, for guiding me, for teaching me, for molding me into the person I am. Indeed, I have become acutely aware of the journey that I have taken and my family has taken. I am also acutely aware that our son will soon begin his own type of journey.

This morning we read from Parsha Matot/Masei. These are the final two parshiot of Sefer BaMidbar (Book of Numbers).  Like the end of most books, these parshiot tie up numerous loose ends. It ties up the loose ends of the narrative such as how to deal with the Midianites following episode with Pinchas, the daughters of Tzelophchad and issues of inheritance, as well as the borders of Eretz Canaan, and the Cities of Refuge. All these final issues must be dealt with since, from a narrative perspective, Bnai Israel is spiritually and physically ready to cross the Yarden River and enter into Eretz Canaan. Bnai Yisroel is about to realize the Brit, the covenant that God made with the Avot: Avraham, Yiztchak and Yaakov.

Whenever an individual, a group, a community or a people stand on the precipice of a realized goal; looking back upon the journey only makes sense. We look back upon the journey for a variety of reasons. First we look back upon the journey in sheer wonderment; we cannot believe we have traveled so far and finally achieved. Second, we look back upon the journey in order to provide context and meaning for all those who joined in the journey towards the middle or the end. Third, we look back upon the journey as a series of opportunities that were necessary in order to realize the stated goal. Fourth, and perhaps in the case of the current war with Hezbollah and Hamas, we look back at our journey and decide that perhaps it is time to finally end the journey.  Eilah Masei V’nai Yisroel Asher Yatzu M’Eretz Mitztrayim L'tzivotam  B’Yad Moshe v’Aharon – These are the journeys of the Children of Israel, who went forth from the Land of Egypt according to the legions under the hand of Moshe and Aharon … V’Eilah Maseihem L’Motzaheihem – And these are the their journeys according to their departures. (Num. 33:1-2) God commanded Moshe to keep a record of their travels according to their Maseihem - destination. A destination suggests anticipation and positive expectations. Remembering destinations suggests minimal hardship, minimal travails, no issues nor problems. Moshe also kept a record of their travels based upon Motzaheihem their departures. When we are forced to depart; we tend to feel badly, we tend to focus upon hardships and difficulties, including murmuring, complaining and challenging Moses’ authority. Now that B'nai Yisroel stands on the brink of entering Eretz Canaan, all the experiences, both positive and negative gave B'nai Yisroel an opportunity to learn Faith.  The journey and all that was experienced during that 40-year journey was necessary in order to arrive at this point in time.

Yes my wife and I are both dealing with our youngest child; our only son’s becoming a Bar Mitzvah.  My wife is focused upon a destination. Since I am the only other person in our family that had a Bar Mitzvah, I can’t help but think of my father and my grandfather. I can’t help but think of the enormous influence that they each played in my life. I only hope that I am as positive an influence on my son as my father and grandfather was upon me.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Truckin' Like The Doodah Man; Once Told Me "Gotta Play Your Hand (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir & Phil Leshe - "Truckin'"

           Chanukah conveniently coincided with the Christmas and New Years holiday this year. Lights were lit both in the Jewish and Christian world at the same time. It also turned out that our children had off for all of Chanukah. We decided to spend it visiting family and friends in the New York Metropolitan area. Normally we drive. Normally we spend the night at the grandparents in Rochester, and then leave first thing the next morning. This time the plans were different. Our son was sick so we delayed our departure by a day. Then on the morning we were going to leave, the roads and iced over and we had to wait for the weather to turn a bit warmer, which it did. The problem was that ice was forecast on the very route that we were taking to New York. However, as the day would progress, the temperatures were supposed to rise. I watched the weather, studied the forecast, loaded the car and family and began our drive. The weather was fine until we arrived at the grandparents. We spend about an hour there, ate a late lunch. I looked at the weather forecast again. One route which was a bit longer, safer, with more rest stops, was expecting cold temperatures and ice. The alternative route which was less lit, through the mountains with fewer stops was expecting warmer temperatures and rain instead of ice.  So as I drove, and heard one last forecast, I opted for the the mountain route through Pennsylvania and New Jersey. The weather was cold, damp, and remained between 33-38 Fahrenheit the whole drive.  As the temperature inched lower and grew more nervous, more concerned about skidding as I crossed mountain over passes, more concerned as trucks were slowing down mountain descents, and more concerned about having to suddenly stop. Needless to say it was far from a relaxing drive.  At one point our daughter who is taking driving lesson, commented that she didn’t recall me ever appearing worried during a drive.  I explained that because I am driving, I always worry since I felt responsible for everyone. I asked her why she noticed my worrying this time. She said that maybe because she is now taking driving lessons, she has started to understand and appreciate the responsibility involved in driving a car.

         This week we read from Parsha Mikeitz. The Parsha always coincides with Shabbat of Chanukah. While there is nothing in the Parsha that explicitly mentions or implicitly suggests Chanukah; we could look at the entire Parsha as embodying miracles. Two years after Joseph correctly interprets the dreams of the Wine Steward and the Baker, the Wine Steward informs Pharaoh of the Hebrew prisoner that interprets dreams. Pharaoh has a dream, and only Joseph is able to interpret it. Pharaoh promotes Joseph from prisoner to Prime Minister. Joseph becomes second in command, devises a plan that saves Egypt from the impending seven-year famine. He is given an Egyptian name, an Egyptian wife, and had two sons: Ephraim and Menashe. After seven plentiful years, the famine begins. The famine is particularly devastating outside Egypt where no preparations occurred. Jacob sends his sons to Egypt for food. However, they have no idea that the person that they meet, the person to whom they make their request for food is their brother Joseph. Joseph recognizes the immediately. Joseph devises a plan to ascertain whether or not the brothers have finally done some type of Teshuva (some type of repentance for what they had done to him years before. For Joseph, he must try to manipulate events in order to get the brothers to bring Benjamin, Jacob’s youngest son born from Rachel, to Egypt as well as convince Jacob to come to Egypt. The Parsha concludes, with Joseph forcing the brothers to leave Benjamin in Egypt and return to Jacob with the news.

          There are two moments when Jacob and family suffer because of the famine. There are two moments when, on two separate occasions, two sons, Reuven and Judah, attempt to convince Jacob to allow the to bring Benjamin to Egypt in return for more food. When Reuven, the first born son, attempts to convince Jacob that he will be responsible for looking after Benjamin, Jacob disapproves of the suggestion. The family continues to suffer from a lack of food. When Judah attempts to convince his father that he will assume responsibility for Benjamin, Jacob accepts and assigns Judah responsibility. Why does Jacob allow the fourth eldest to assume responsibility and not the eldest? Reuven’s idea of responsibility is Et Shnei Vanai Tamit Im Lo Avienu Eilecha T’na Oto  Al Yadi V’Ani Ashivenu Eilecha – You may slay my two sons if I fail to bring him back to you. Put him in my care and I will return him to you (Gen. 42:37). Rashi quoting a midrash that Jacob heard Reuven and thought to himself that his eldest son is a fool. Jacob had already lost a son (Joseph) and one is being held in Egypt.  If Reuven fails and now Jacob would lose two grandsons? Jacob hears Reuven’s offer and realizes that he is shifting the blame. If, God forbid, something was to happen to Benjamin, two other sons would suffer as well as a father and a grandfather. To Jacob, Reuven’s offer hardly sounds like someone assuming responsibility.  Judah’s idea of responsibility is: Anochi E’Ervenu MiYadi T’Vakshenu Im Lo Havi’otiv Eilecha V’Hitzagtiv Lefanecha V’Chatati Lecha Kol Hayamim – I will personally guarantee him; of my own hand you can demand him. If I do not bring him back to you and stand him before you, then I will have sinned to you for all time. ( 43:9). Judah “guarantees” Benjamin’s welfare. Judah explains to his father that he will put his life on the line for his brother.  Judah knows what it is to lose a son. He has lost two sons. He, more than any of the other brothers, including Reuven, understands what is is to have lost a child and to take responsibility for his deeds. (Gen. 39). Judah won’t punish anyone else but himself if he fails to care for Benjamin. Yaakov believes that this is the language of responsibility, so he acquiesces and allows Judah to assume responsibility for Benjamin. Symbolically, Judah has now assumed the mantle of responsibility for the welfare of the whole family and ultimately the nation.  Judah is the ancestor to King David. Judah is blessed by Jacob as being the ancestor to the God’s anointed (Moshiach).

          As I continued the drive, our sixteen-year-old, began to understand what it meant to assume responsibility. She asked if I thought about waiting a day and driving when we knew the weather would have been nicer?  Yes, I thought about it and I told her so. She acknowledged that she would have been disappointed but she added that she now understood my reasoning. Before driving lessons, she thought that if I chose to delay the drive, the weather was merely an excuse; she thought that I just didn’t want to be in New York visiting family and friends. Now that she takes driving lessons, she can “appreciate the fact that assuming responsibility means putting feelings aside and doing the smart thoughtful thing even if means “not doing what you want.” Because of the driving lessons. I realize that she is able to empathize with me.  As a result, she now realizes that my trust and a deep understanding of responsibility for her decisions and judgment  accompanies her drivers license and my car. I guess it was an educational drive after all.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Most Of The Time They're Sitting And Crying At Home (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia, Phil Lesh, Bob Weir - "Truckin')

One of my most favorite moments as a parent occurs when art imitates life. Every once in a while when we are watching a movie with our children, they will notice a characteristic displayed by one of the movie characters and tell us who that is in our family. So when we watch Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder and Jack Albertson, our children invariably sheepishly blush when Veruca Salt makes her appearance.  We all know Veruca; she is the epitome of the spoiled brat. Whenever she wants something, she hellishly whines, “But daddy, I want it now!”  Of course her father cannot stomach the incessant whining and inevitably gives in. Our kids all sheepishly laugh and ask if that is what they sound like when they whine.  Rabbi Levi, in the Midrash Tanchuma also talks about a spoiled brat: “A child is riding on his father’s shoulders. When the child sees something he wants, he asks for it. His father gets it for him. This happens again and again. They encounter a person approaching from the opposite direction, and the child asks the stranger, ‘Have you seen my father?’ The father responds incredulously, “You ride on my shoulders and everything you want I get you, yet you ask, ‘Have you seen my father?’ The father then takes the child down from his shoulders and a dog comes and bites the child.”

This week’s Parshah, Beshalach, is also known as Shabbat Shira (Shabbat of Song). Bnai Yisroel leaves Egypt. Pharaoh, realizing what he has done, gives chase with the Egyptian army in hot pursuit. Trapped by the Sea, Bnai Yisroel looks to Moshe for an answer. Moshe prays and God tells Moshe to take Israel and start walking through the Yam Suf.  So as they begin walking into the Yam Suf; it splits and Bnai Yisroel arrives safely on the other side. Meanwhile, the Egyptian army is trapped in the water as the sea closes upon them.  B’nai Yisroel sings throughout this Parshah. Upon successfully completing their crossing of the Yam Suf, the headline song begins (Ex. 15:1): Oz Yashir Moshe u’Vnai Yisroel et Ha Shira Ha’zot L’adonai  va’Yomru Leimor Then Moses and the Children of Israel chose to sing this song to God and they said the following. In this song, B’nai Yisroel praises God as protector of his people. After the song, Miriam, Moshe’s sister, tells the women “Shiru L’adonai Ki Ga’oh Ga’Ah Sus v’Rochvo Ramah Va’Yam Sing to God for he is exalted above the arrogant, having hurled horse with its rider into the sea. Ex.15:21 When tradition referred to this Shabbat as Shabbat Shirah, clearly this is what was meant.

However immediately following these songs of praise, B’nai Yisroel begins another kind of singing. Instead of songs of joy and praise, known as singing, there are songs of  discontent and complaint, known as whining. No sooner does B’nai Yisroel cross the Yam Suf and sing Oz Yashir Moshe, then they complain about the lack of good water. Moshe puts a tree into the water and it becomes sweet (15:25-26). They whine about the lack of food. God provides the manna from Heaven (16:6-8,16-36). They complain about the lack of meat. God provides them with quail (16:13). They complained about the lack of water upon their arrival in Rephidim. Moshe strikes a rock as God instructs, and provides water for the people. They wanted it now. So God gave it “now”.

B’nai Yisroel lacks faith. They are still slaves. They live passively. They ceased struggling for freedom They performed their tasks and returned to their slaves’ quarters and ate their slave food that the master provided. There is no sense of responsibility for the future. There is no sense that improvement is possible. The slave looked to the master to take care of everything. Upon leaving Egypt and crossing the Yam Suf, B’nai Yisroel looks to God to take care of everything. They have no sense of taking take care of themselves. So they sang or whined, “But Daddy we want the water and meat and we want it now!” God gave them another miracle.

Like the impudent boy who asked the stranger if he had seen his father, while all the while sitting upon his father’s shoulders; B’nai Yisroel demonstrates the same impudence. Hayeish Adonai B’kirbeinu Im Ayin? “Is God among us or not?” The father put the boy upon the ground. God put B’nai Yisroel upon the ground. Just like the dog bit the boy, Amalek attacks. B’nai Yisroel.  B’nai Yisroel stopped whining. They finally do for themselves.  “Moshe said to Joshua, ‘Choose people for us and go do battle with Amalek; tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand’. Joshua did as Moshe said to him, to do battle with Amalek” (Ex.17:9-10). B’nai Yisroel fought, God gave them strength. This is the first time in the Parshah where we read that B’nai Yisroel acted first. God helped them when they helped themselves.

So what do we learn from B’nai Yisroel’s behavior at the beginning of the Parshah and the end of the Parshah. We learn that in order to have faith in God, we must have faith in ourselves. Before we seek God’s help, we must help ourselves. The spoiled brat is the child who won’t do for his/herself. The spoiled brat expects others to do for him. Instead of trusting in and doing for itself first, B’nai Yisroel relied upon God to do for them. Thank God, we are no longer slaves in Egypt, yet we remain slaves. We are slaves to our fears, we are slaves to our anxieties, and we are slaves to our own passivity. It is always easier to be passive, do nothing, be uninvolved, and not improve the world around us. The first step in freedom is conquering our own passivity, and doing for ourselves. Only when we take that first step will we feel the support and strength that God offers us. Then we can conquer Amalek. Then we conquer our own fears. Then improvement is possible for both the individual and the community.  Most importantly, we eventually stop whining.

Peace,

Rav Yitz