I Would Say That The Blame Is Mine (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "My Brother Esau")

A few Sundays ago, it was “Daddy Day”. I had the opportunity to spend the day with our children while my wife was busy.  I had the great idea of taking the kids horseback riding. I found a place, made a phone call and spoke to the horse stables. The individual explained to me the physical requirements: age, height, length of inseam etc.  Our 13 and 11 year old satisfied all the requirements. Our nine year old was too young, and his inseam was maybe 1 ½ to 2 inches too short.  I explained to him that we would try and go anyway but I needed him to lie.  He looked up at me and I could see the worry on his face. I asked him what was wrong.  “You and mommy don’t get mad when I lie.” I reminded him that he routinely tells lies when we ask him if he washed his hands when he leaves the bathroom or if his homework was finished and he would say “yes”.  He quickly explained that those are very different cases because “you know I am lying and basically I am playing a game. This is different.”  However he wanted to go horseback riding so he went along.  I told him that he was now 10 instead of 9. He was in 5^th grade and not 4^th grade. He was born in 2003 and not in 2004. I reminded him to just answer the questions that are asked. On our way to the stables, we practiced. “How old are you?” “Ten”.  “What grade are you in?” “ 5^th grade”.  “What year were you born?” “2003”. I reminded him that when he is asked these questions, he needs to look straight ahead at the person and just answer the way we practiced.  Well when we arrived, the woman who ran the stables asked  our son how old he was.  He blinked for a long time,  he  took a deep breath, and looked straight up toward the ceiling and answered in one breath, “I am 10, I was born in 2003, and I am in 5^th grade.” His sisters and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes and thought the same thing. “What a bad liar!” It turned out that he didn’t fit into the stirrup anyway so we never went horseback riding.  When we told Mommy about  the incident, she was so proud that he was such a bad liar.

This Shabbat we read from Parshah Toldot. This Parshah serves as a transition from the narratives of Avraham  to the upcoming narratives of Yaakov. This one Parshah focuses upon Yitzchak and Rivka’s struggle to have children, the ensuing twin sons that are born: Yaakov and Esav, Yitzchak receiving the same blessing re-affirmation of the covenant that Avraham received, Esav’s selling his birthright and then Rebecca scheming with her son Yaakov to trick Yitzchak into giving Yaakov the Blessing of the first born.  The Parshah concludes with Yaakov receiving the Blessing and then being forced to flee for his life because of his brother’s wrath.  

When Esav comes to get his blessing, Yitzchak, the father, tells his son, the son whom he intended to bless states:  Vayomer Bah Achicha B’Mirmah Vayikach Birchatecha – He (Yitzchak) said, Your brother came  B’Mirmah (in guile, in fraud) and took your  blessing.  The statement suggests that Yaakov coldly and callously stole Esav’s blessing. However in reality Yaakov reluctantly went along with his mother, Rebecca’s, plan.  When Yaakov heard his mother’s plan, Yaakov responded with caution Ulai YeMusheini  Avi V’Hayita V’Einav Kimtatei’ah V’Heiveiti Alai K’lalah V’Lo Bracha – Perhaps my father will feel me, and I shall be as a mocker in his eyes; I will therefore bring a curse upon myself rather than a blessing (27:12). Yaakov recognizes the shortcomings in the plan and recognizes that there is a real risk to being caught in a web of deceit.  .  After his mother re-assures him that she will take responsibility, Yaakov goes and brings meat for his mother to prepare, VaYeilech VaYiKach Vayavei L’Imo. The Talmudic Sages in Breishit Rabbah offer an insight into Yaakov’s reluctance to go along with his mother’s plan.  They explain very simply and succinctly Enos V’Chafuf U’Bocheh – Under duress, bent and weeping. From this comment, the Talmudic sages suggest that Yaakov was deeply troubled, caught between not wanting to deceive his father and not wanting to disappoint his mother.  Yes he ultimately went along with his mother’s plan, but did so unenthusiastically and hesitatingly.

When I listened to our son, tell his mom what I had asked him to do, it was quite evident that I had put him into an uncomfortable position, a position that he was not yet ready to assume.  Needless to say I was quite proud that his conscience bothered him about such a white lie. He still claims to have washed his hands when he leaves the bathroom when indeed he hasn’t. He still tells us that he finished his homework, when he hasn’t.  However I realize the discomfort and the trepidation that I caused my son was a result of the fact that I asked him to do something that we otherwise deem as inappropriate. I suppose my son taught me a valuable lesson.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

So Many Roads I Know All I Want Is One To Take Me Home (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "So Many Roads)

          Our nine year old son has been a source of aggravation over the past week.  Granted, our son had his first full week of school last week. With the Holidays behind us, he was rudely reminded that school involves five days a week, homework, studying, and taking tests.  This week, our son had a test that encompassed a lot of material.  In his mind, “homework” and “test preparation” are two very separate and distinct concepts. As a result, when his mother asks, “did you finish your homework?” His response will be based only upon the actual task assigned for that particular day. He still has no understanding that homework assignment may be due in two or three days but it is still considered homework.  Unfortunately, he still gets surprised when he arrives in school slightly less than prepared for a quiz or a small test due to his lack of studying.  So the other day, I asked if he completed his homework. “Yes” he said. I reminded him “homework” includes “studying for test”.  He hemmed, he hawed, he rolled his eyes, and he whined “But Abba…” I cut him off quickly and sarcastically. I told him that I already finished fourth grade so I do not need to study for his test or take his test. I explained that when I inquire about his preparing for a test it is not for me but for him.

This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Avram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. He and his nephew decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of travelling.

The Parsha begins with a rather odd use of phrase.  Normally when we read the words VaYomer Adoshem – “And Hashem Said”, we expect a simple declarative statement to follow. If an instruction is about to be issued, we would expect a verb in the “second person” to appear without a preposition. For example, last week we began a new Hebrew Month, Cheshvan. The Torah reading for “Rosh Chodesh” (the new month) begins: Vayidaber  Adoshem El Moshe Leimor – Hashem Spoke to Moshe saying: Tzav et Bnai Yisroel  - “Command the Children of Yisroel…” There is no preposition following the verb directed at Moshe. However in the case of Avram, when Hashem gives this specific instruction we notice the preposition “Lecha”: VaYomer Adoshem El Avram: Lech Lecha -Hashem said to Avram: Go “Lecha” (for yourself) MeiArtzecha U’Mimoladetecha U’MiBeit Avicha El Ha’Aretz Asher Areka – From you r land, from your relatives, and from your father’s house to the land that I will show you (Gen.12:1).  God tells Avram to do something, and implicit to the instruction is a reminder for whom is Avram to go? Is Avram supposed to go for God or his father? No, Avram goes “Lecha” (for himself). Rashi, the great 11^th century French commentator  clarifies this particularly odd use of the prepositional phrase Lech Lecha – go for yourself: “LHanatcha U’LTovtecha For your benefit and your own good”. Telling Avram to go is not for God’s benefit but for Avram’s benefit. Telling to Avram to “go” is not for God’s own good but for Avram’s own good.  Avram is supposed to do this because it is for his benefit.

Our son will worry about the grade on his test. If he comes home with a good mark he will be excited. If he comes home with a mediocre or bad mark he will be upset.  However as parents, we couldn’t care less about the grade he earns on this test. More importantly we will reiterate that the object is to study and prepare in order to do well for himself, so that he will feel good about himself, so that he understands the link between his effort and his achievement for himself, not for me.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Would You Hold It Near, As It Were Your Own (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Ripple")

There are two refrains that I hear quite often as summer draws to an end and the school year appear imminently on the horizon. “The Holidays are early this year!” or “The Holidays are late this year!” Usually my response is to remind the individual that Rosh HaShanah always begins on time – the first of Tishrei.  Well this year I stand corrected. The Jewish Holidays are early; like two days removed from Labor Day Early.  The Holidays are so early this year that the first day of school this year is before Labor Day.  This means is that that is an awful lot of chaos in our home. Getting kids their school supplies, their uniforms, shoes for the holidays, making sure that they have clothing appropriate for the Holidays that are comfortable for the late summer, and then of course, food shopping and the requisite cooking. I am tired just thinking about it and yes, there is still work to do on sermons.  Getting children ready for another school year is always a bit chaotic; add the fact that the High Holidays coincide with the beginning of school and it seems so easy to forget the point of all this chaos and tumult.

In this week’s double Parsha, Parsha Nitzavim/VaYeilech, Moshe gathers all the people around him one last time. He reminds them that they are a people with a covenant, warns them against idolatry, explains that they descendants will be punished with exile but will eventually return to the Eretz Canaan, and pleads with them to always keep the teachings of the Torah near to them wherever they and their descendants go.   Moshe explains that his death is days away. He completes writing his Sefer Torah, presents it to the Kohanim for safe-keeping. He passes all pertinent information and “state secrets” to Joshua, his successor. Moshe instructs the Kohanim to read the Torah to a gathering of the entire nation every seven years. Then God tells Moshe what will befall the people after his death and after they enter Eretz Canaan.  Moshe listens to God’s words and is instructed to put these words of prophecy into the format of poetry or a song. 

As the text ties up the “loose knots”, as Moshe makes the final preparations for his death; there seems to be a foreboding sense that Moshe’s final moments may not be so pleasant and peaceful and the future of the people may not be so bright after all.  Moshe says a lot of rather discouraging things on his “deathbed”.  He explains that later generations will fail to heed the Torah and they will be exiled. He explains that sad things will happen. He explains that bad things will happen.  Moshe does not offer some saccharine type of hope that suggests not worrying and everything will be OK. Rather Moshe offers a type of hope that empowers each and every individual, empowers each and every generation and, just as importantly Moshe tells them the secret to survival. HaMitzvah HaZot Asher Anochi M’Tzavcha HaYom For this commandment that I command you today Lo Nifleit Hee Mimcha It is not hidden from you  V’Lo Rechoka Hee and it is not distant. Lo Bashamayim Hee It is not in the heavens… Ki Karov Eilecha HaDavar Me’od B’Ficha U’Vilvavcha La’Asoto  Rather the matter (the word) is very near to you – in your mouth and your heart – perform it (Deut. 30:11-14). Moshe secret was that Torah is not inaccessible. Anyone can do it. You just have to learn it and then do it. Moshe reminded those who were listening that his words, his teachings are not beyond anyone’s capacity.  Sforno, the great Renaissance Rabbi and Commentator explains that Teshuva, repentance, and Torah is within the individual’s and the community’s capacity;  there is no need for a prophet to bring heavenly messages if the community behaves the way it is supposed to behave. The only thing that the community needs is someone to teach the community what to do and how to do it. Then the community will be informed enough as to how to behave appropriately. Moshe taught them that Torah was portable. It could go anywhere in the world as long as there was someone to learn it and teach it.  

Yes, the Holidays come early this year. Yes the school year is about to begin and yes indeed, this makes for a lot of chaos. But amid this chaos, we understand the Torah is close by. We know, or perhaps we need to be reminded that amid this chaos we are given the opportunity to continue learning, to spiritually prepare for holidays as well as physically prepare.  As chaotic as it seems, Moshe’s re-assuring words that the Torah is designed to be accessible to everyone suggests something even more profound; that amid the chaos, God is just as accessible.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

And Seasons Will End In Tumbled Rhyme (Bob Weir & Eric Anderson -"Weather Report Suite I")

I am due for a few days off next week, my “Summer Holiday”. Except for me, no one in my family seems to care. My wife is busy working at summer camp, three children are busy having a great time at the same summer camp, our eldest daughter is busy making New York City safer, and my parents are busy in retirement. The only “Holyday” they can seem to focus upon are the more “public” “national” and "religious" holidays. Our eldest daughter told me that she planned upon coming in for Festival of Sukkot rather than Rosh Hashanah.  I have to worry about plane reservations for her in the third week of September. My mother asked me about plans for American Thanksgiving which occurs the last Thursday in November and coincides with the first days of Chanukah. While Chanukah is important to American Jewry, Thanksgiving is a very important and a very big deal for Americans, including American Jews, much to the amazement of Canadian Jewry. My mother also wanted to know what we were doing in terms of Pesach festival which is celebrated in April. My wife and younger daughters and son asked about Christmas Vacation and whether we will be able to visit family out in Los Angeles at the end of December. 

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Reeh. Moshe continues his discourse. He has already explained the Mitzvot, and he continues to do that. Moshe has alluded to the blessings of life if B'nai Yisroel follows God's commandments. He has and continues to allude to the curses that will befall B'nai Yisroel if they violate the most important commandment-idolatry. "See I present before you today a blessing and a curse" (Deut.11:26). V'haklalah Im Lo Tishm'u el Mitzvot Adonai Eloheichem V'sartem Min Ha'Derech Asher Anochi M'taveh Etchem ha'yom La'lechet Acharei Elohim Acheirim Asher Lo Y'Datem-"And the curse: if you do not hearken to the commandments of the Lord your God, and you stray from the path that I command you today, to follow gods of others, that you did know." (Deut. 11:28) Moshe presents B'nai Yisroel with two pictures, a world when B'nai Yisroel lives up to it covenant with God and one in which they don't.  He reminds Bnai Yisroel of the sanctity of Eretz Yisroel (the Land of Israel), the consumption of foods that are consecrated to the Kohanim and he warns Bnai Yisroel to avoid imitating the Rituals and Rites of the Egyptians and the Canaanites. Moshe reminds Bnai Yisroel to be careful of false prophets, avoiding non-kosher foods, not living in wayward cities, forgiving loans after seven years, and caring for the less fortunate.

The parsha concludes with Moshe mentioning, for the third time, the commandments for celebrating the three pilgrimage festivals of Pesach, Shavuot, and Sukkot. Twice before, the Torah provided instructions regarding these Festivals. The first time occurs in VaYikra (Leviticus 23) order to present them in their due order; meaning Pesach occurs in the spring with the Barley (Winter Wheat) Harvest; Shavuot occurs six weeks later to coincide with the harvest of the First Fruits; and Sukkot occurs in the fall as part of the autumn harvest.  The second time these Festivals are mentioned occurs in Bemidbar (Numbers 28-29) in order to teach us what offerings needed to be made at the Mishkan (the mobile sacrificial altar) and later the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. The third time occurs in Parsha Reeh in order for the benefit of the public. Remember, this new generation, this generation born in freedom heard these laws declared in public for the first time. Sure they may have learned them during their 40 years of wandering. Now, however, Moshe was declaring for the public benefit what they had learned. Rashi, the 11^th century French vintner and great commentator clarifies his understanding of “public benefit”. For Rashi, “public benefit” means everyone needs to know when the holidays occur. So when the Moshe tells Bnai Yisroel to Shamor et Chodesh Aviv v’Asita Pesach L’Adoshem Elokecha Ki BaChodesh HaAviv Hotziacha Adoshem Elokecha Mitzrayim Laila – You shall observe the month of springtime, and perform the Pesach offering for Hashem, your God, for in the month of springtime Hashem, your God, took you out of Egypt at night, Rashi explains that Bnai Yisroel must understand that this holiday must be celebrated in Spring. Rashi comments Mikodem Bo’o Shamor, Sh’yehei Ra’u L’Aviv L’Hakriv BO Et Minchat Ha’Omer, V’Im Lav, Abeir et HaShana- Before its arrival (the month of Aviv) take care that it should be fit for first ripened produce in order to offer in it the meal offering of the omer. And if not late enough to harvest the omer add a month to the year. Since the Jewish calendar is Lunar and  seasons follow the Solar calendar, according to Rashi, Moshe is teaching Bnai Yisroel that for the public benefit, that is to say, to make sure everyone is celebrating at the right time, it will become necessary to make sure that two calendars are regulated and intercalated properly.  

Individuals and individual families can worry about their own family vacations, or summer vacations.  Maybe those vacations and the plans for those vacations just don’t seem to require the same type of preparation since it really just involves getting in a car and driving.  Indeed, the “public” holidays, religious holidays and festivals are so well known that we worry about them months and months in advance. We worry about the airline tickets, the traffic, the food shopping and the menu. Meanwhile, I have ten days off and I haven’t thought about packing, where I am going or when I am getting to wherever I am going.

One Last Voice Is Calling You And I Guess It's Time You Go (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Sugaree")

We are still in the midst of the Pesach Festival. The Sederim are behind us. The first two days of the Festival are behind us. For a few days all of our children, including our eldest, who came in from New York, were home with us. Sure it was terrific seeing our children helping with all the preparations for the Holiday,  sitting at the Seder, asking questions, singing, laughing, and eating way too much. However, my most favorite moment occurred when I arrived home from Shul. I walked in the house and they were waiting for me in order to begin lunch.  No one was angry or frustrated with me because I had kept them waiting. Instead, my wife and our four children were sitting on the floor playing together, laughing, enjoying each other’s company, and getting along so sweetly. As I took my eldest daughter to the airport so she could return to New York, I explained to her how important it was for her to come home every so often for my own selfish needs. It was a great moment. Perhaps it is because of the Pesach Festival, but I actually find myself thanking God for allowing me to have had such a moment. Hopefully, I should have similar moments in the future.   

When we make the Shabbat Kiddush, we invoke a certain imagery of God. Zikaron L’Maasei Breishit, Ki Hu Yom Techila L’Mikra’ei Kodesh, Zeicher L’Tziyat Mitzrayim- We invoke the image of God as the creator. In the Kiddush we remind ourselves to “Remember the event of Creation”. That is God created for six days and rested on the seventh day, hence Shabbat. We also remind ourselves of the Yetziat Mitzrayim- The Exodus from Egypt. Specifically we remind ourselves that “With an outstretched arm and a mighty hand”, God brought us out of Egypt, and God redeemed us from slavery. Both of these images of God are of a powerful God, a mighty God. Associated with these descriptions of God is that God was fulfilling his Brit, his covenant with Avraham Avinu that we will be chosen and a great and mighty nation. Also by God redeeming us from Slavery, we were to receive the Aseret Dibrot, the Ten Commandments in order to re-affirm God’s covenant to us and our covenant to God.

            On Shabbat Chol Ha’Moed Pesach, the Intermediate Sabbath of Pesach, we invoke a very different sort of image of God. This is rather ironic when, considering the imagery we use to describe God at our Seders. Again at the Seder we invoke the image of Avadim Hayinu B’Mitzrayim, V’Yotzieinu Adoshem Elokeinu Misham B’Yad Chazakah Uvizroah N’tuyah – We were slaves in Egypt and  The Lord our God brought us out from there, with a strong hand and an outstretched arm. Certainly Pesach and the Exodus from Egypt should invoke images of God’s strength etc. However we know that Shabbat invokes a different type of image. And just like a regular Shabbat invokes images of  “Lecha Dodi Likrat Kalah P’nai Shabbat N’Kablah – Come My Beloved with chorus of praise, Welcome Shabbat the Bride, Queen of our days, images of Bridal splendor and royalty, on Shabbat Chol HaMoed Pesach we need to invoke that imagery of God as well. Unlike a regular Shabbat, when on Friday Night we invoke that imagery during the Kabbalat Shabbat – Friday Evening Service, we don’t conduct Kabbalat Shabbat. We don’t mix the joy of the Shabbat with the joy of the holiday. So what do we do?

            We read from the scroll of Shir Ha’Shirim, the Song of Songs. We read the scroll that is traditionally ascribed to King Solomon when he was young. We read of lovers who yearn for each other. While on a literal basis our sages had great difficulty with this scroll as part of our biblical canon, symbolically they understood its importance. Shir HaShirim reminds us that our relationship to God is that of lovers, is that of husband and wife. Kol Dodi Hinei Zeh Bah M’Daleig Al  HeHarim M’Kapeitz Al Hagvaot – The voice of my beloved! Behold it came suddenly [in the form of redeeming me], as if leaping over mountains, skipping over hills (Song of Songs 2:8). In a Midrash – Rabbi Yehudah taught that the voice of my beloved is the voice of Moshe. When Moshe came to B’nai Yisroel and told them that our redemption from slavery was imminent. We didn’t believe him; we reminded him that God told Avraham Avinu that we would be enslaved for four centuries, not two centuries. Moshe explained that God couldn’t stand being away from us, his beloved. So he leaped over mountains, that is he jumped over the remaining two centuries in order to be with us. (Shir HaShirim Rabbah 2:1).

            How flattering! God has missed us. God wants us at God’s side. God wants a relationship with us, and God wants this now. On Shabbat Chol HaMoed Pesach, we invoke a God who yearns for us as much as we yearn for God. This is a very powerful image as well but very different. We don’t normally view God as a loving partner. Yet what could be more appropriate than reminding these slaves, this generation that was a few days removed from Egypt, that there is more to the relationship, more to the covenant than our serving God. There is a tender relationship, a loving relationship based upon a mutual understanding of fulfilling responsibilities. Shabbat is the time when we stop the mundane existence and step away from the frenetic pace of life and remind and re-affirm our loving and tender relationships with our loved ones base upon our mutual understanding of fulfilling responsibilities. Besides the relationships with our husbands and wives, our parents and our children is our relationship to God.

Peace,

Rav Yitz