Out Of The Door And Into The Street All Alone (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia, Phil Lesh, & Bob Weir - "Truckin'"

Like parents of many 18-year-old children here in North America, we said “good-bye” to ours as she left for her gap year in Israel. There were about 30 sets of parents at the Toronto airport, all from our daughter’s school, saying goodbye. Yes, some of those kids will return to Toronto and attend university in Toronto and live at home. Some will go attend university and college out of town (most likely our daughter will be in this category), some will remain in Israel for a second year of study and some will make Aliyah and stay. No matter which category the eighteen year old falls into, I have explained to our daughter that a fundamental change is occurring. She will now have two homes, a home where her parents live and that she will either frequently or infrequently visit, and home is where she lives her life. For me, as a parent and for many of the parents who were saying goodbye at the airport, our focus was upon our children leaving home. Sure enough, there were lots of tears, many mothers and fathers cried.  Our family was not spared. However in the few moments that I had alone with our daughter, I explained that this is what parents sign up for, raise them, feed them clothe them, educate them, instill values, morals, and as many life lessons as possible in order diminish the risk when they do leave; however a child’s leaving is inevitable. I looked into my daughter’s big hazel eyes and re-assured her that she is ready to leave, to embark on her journey confront life and live life without mommy and daddy involved on a daily basis.

This week's Torah portion is Ki Teitzei. Moshe continues with listing laws such as: rights of the firstborn for inheritance, the wayward rebellious son, lost and found property, sending a mother bird from the nest when procuring the egg from the nest, tzitzit, false accusations, forbidden marriages, charging interest, divorce, workers’ rights to timely payment, honesty in weights and measures and remembering Amalek. That is just to name a few. All these laws reflect one extremely relevant idea. Judaism is not just a ritualized religion that takes on import three times a year, or only at life cycle events. Judaism is a way of life.  

Anything, any idea that is considered to be a “way of life” must be relevant in two places, in the home (a sanctuary) and outside the home where life is much less ideal than the home/sanctuary. Certainly, we can read the first verse as Moshe’s instructions regarding the appropriate manner to behave while fighting a war.  Ki Teitzeh LaMilchama Al Oyvecha UnTano Adoshem Elokecha B’Yadecha  - When you will go out to war against your enemies, and Hashem, your God, will deliver him [your enemies] into your hand (Deut. 10:11). Yes, Moshe presentation of these laws suggests that there is an inevitability about going out to wage war. Rashi clarifies by explaining that this B’Milchemet HaRashut-an optional war. The sages explained that biblically speaking, an “optional war” is any war other than a war of the conquest of the Land of Canaan and the war against Amalek. Those wars are not optional but rather the fulfillment of a direct commandment. According to Sforno (the great Italian Renaissance commentator), “an optional” war is any war outside Israel or a political war.” Sforno’s comment is fascinating because it forces us to understand Moshe’s statement about Ki Tetzei La Milchama from a figurative and perhaps even a spiritual dimension. Moshe is speaking to “you” in the singular, “you” the individual. The Torah never said that he was addressing the only the army. Each and every one of “you” wages a war of Reshut, an optional war. The individual “You” wages war against inner demons, against peer pressure, against that which is convenient and easy. “You” the individual wages a war against the monotony of routine. One thing is for certain, from Moshe’s perspective, war is waged upon Ki Teitzeh upon “going out”, leaving the “friendly confines”, leaving the “nest”, leaving the warmth and safety of the home and a sanctuary.

Reading Ki Teitzeh in a figurative manner, gave new meaning to our daughter’s leaving for Israel. Yes, I am her father and yes, I am protective. However, I know that protecting her means that her mother and I accept the inevitability of her leaving and it is our job to give her the tools, the “weapons” so to speak, in order to deal with life, people, and her own insecurities and anxieties. So when I hugged my daughter goodbye, and when I blessed her through my tearing eyes, I also reminded her that she was ready for this and I lovingly reminded her code, her way of life is applicable not only to our home, the home she was raised in, but the home that she will be making for herself.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Lately It Occurs To Me What A Long Strange Trip It's Been (Robert Hunter, Phil Lesh, Bob Weir, Jerry Garcia - "Truckin'"

Our sixteen year old daughter is in Israel this summer. I have tried very hard not to be one of those parents who speaks to his/her child all the time. I consciously decided that I would deliberately leave her alone. I wasn’t going to “What’s App” her, or call her. In fact, before she left, I told her that I wasn’t going to call her or reach out to her at all. If she wanted to call me she could otherwise I wanted her to be on her own figuring things out for herself. To her credit, she has only called me on Fridays. Given the time difference, she calls me right before Shabbat (Israel time). This means she is calling me around the middle of the day on Friday. Lately it so happens that I happen to be playing golf when she calls. Our conversations have fallen into a bit of a pattern. She calls, she wishes me a “Good Shabbos”. I ask her how her week was, and how she is feeling. Then I ask, what must be very difficult questions because she has a hard time answering. The question seems simple enough to me. “Where were you this past week? What did you see?” She breathes deeply and the lack of sleep that she accumulated all week is readily apparent. She quietly begins with an “I don’t remember”. She follows that up with the name of a place followed by one sentence of what she saw. Honestly it is like pulling teeth. Both her mom and I remind her that perhaps it would be a good idea to write it down where she was and what she saw so that way she will have an easy way to remember this very special journey.

This Shabbat, we read from Parsha Matot/Masei. These are the final two parshiot of Sefer BaMidbar (Book of Numbers).  Like the end of most books, these parshiot tie up numerous loose ends. It ties up the loose ends of the narrative such as how to deal with the Midianites following episode with Pinchas, the daughters of Tzelophchad and issues of inheritance, as well as the borders of Eretz Canaan, and the Cities of Refuge. All these final issues must be dealt with since, from a narrative perspective, B’nai Yisroel is spiritually and physically ready to cross the Yarden River and enter into Eretz Canaan. B’nai Yisroel is about to realize the Brit, the covenant that God made with the Avot: Avraham, Yiztchak and Yaakov.

Whenever an individual, a group, a community or a people stand on the precipice of a realized goal; looking back upon the journey only makes sense.  Whenever an individual, a group, a community or a people experience anxiety about the ability to handle future unknowns; looking back at past lessons also seems to make a lot of sense. We look back upon the journey for a variety of reasons. First we look back upon the journey in sheer wonderment; we cannot believe we have traveled so far and finally achieved. Second, we look back upon the journey in order to provide context and meaning for all those who joined in the journey towards the middle or the end. Third, we look back upon the journey as a series of opportunities that were necessary in order to realize the stated goal. Fourth, we look back knowing that if we overcame past obstacles and fears, then we should be able to overcome future anxieties, obstacles and fears.  Eilah Masei V’nai Yisroel Asher Yatzu M’Eretz Mitztrayim L'tzivotam  B’Yad Moshe v’Aharon – These are the journeys of the Children of Israel, who went forth from the Land of Egypt according to the legions under the hand of Moshe and Aharon … V’Eilah Maseihem L’Motzaheihem – And these are the their journeys according to their departures. (Num. 33:1-2) God commanded Moshe to keep a record of their travels according to their Maseihem - destination. This is means of recording based upon positive expectations, when there were no travails, issues or problems. Moshe also kept a record of their travels based upon Motzaheihem their departures, when there were travails, issues and great difficulties, when people murmured against God, against Moshe etc. Now that B’nai Yisroel stands on the brink of entering Eretz Canaan, all the experiences, both positive and negative gave B'nai Yisroel an opportunity to learn Faith.  The journey and all that was experienced during that 40-year journey was necessary in order to arrive at this point in time.

No, our daughter’s six week journey is not as dramatic as the 40 year journey of an entire people. Her six week journey is not comparable to a people evolving from slavery to freedom nor from people hood to nationhood. However over the course of six weeks, our hope is that during the course of her travels, during the course of her journeys and departures, she will have learned about herself. We hope that when she returns, she has grown more comfortable being herself. We hope that she is more immune to peer pressure and more intellectually curious. Although only sixteen, we hope that her journeys and departures have afforded her a greater perspective of what is important, what is not important, what deserves worry and what should be ignored. In that regard, the journeys and the departures of B’nai Yisroel serve as a symbol of the numerous journeys and departures of each individual’s life.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Get Tired Of Travelling You Want To Settle Down (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir,& Phil Lesh - "Truckin'"

          Our eldest daughter has been incredibly busy working for Hilary Clinton in the state of Iowa. Since last Pesach she has lived in Des Moines, Iowa.  Knowing that she has a few days to recuperate, her younger siblings are full of questions. Where does she go next? And after that? What happens when the primaries are over? Does she ever return one place and live in it like we do? Does she move to New York, Washington D.C. How long does she keep living in places for short periods of time? What does she do when there campaigning is finished and the election is held? As I listened to the questions and tried to answer them clearly and succinctly I became aware of what was underlying all these questions. From our younger children’s perspective, their oldest sister’s pace of life seemed incredibly busy leading up to a primary or election, then there would be a moment of down time and then she would have to ramp it back up for the next primary. Underlying all their questions was their picture of a normal life. From their perspective adults go to work and return home from work. There may be errands to run, late night meetings but essentially there was a sense of routine and mundane activity. Not every day can be16 hour days, being followed by a reporter, explaining the candidate’s “ground game” or being interviewed by the national news on the night of a primary, or giving a speech for a candidate. Our younger children wanted to know when their big sister will begin to lead a “normal life” with “normal work hours”.

Last week we read about the revelation at Sinai, with the thunder, the lightening, and a big booming voice. Last week we read the Aseret Dibrot, the Ten Commandments. Last week we were inspired by the words “I am the lord your god, you should have no other gods before me” “you shall keep the Sabbath holy”, respect your parents, and so on and so on. Of course these commandments are the bedrock of Judeo- Christian morality and society. However when the thunder and lightning are finished, and the big booming voice stops booming, B’nai Yisroel has Ten Commandments. However they still had a problem. They told Moshe to return to the mountain but they never acknowledged their acceptance of the Ten Commandments.  We can almost imagine Bnai Yisroel so awestruck that they couldn’t muster an answer.  After all, seeing a mountain on fire, the thunder, the lightning and a big booming voice, does not exactly lend itself to people nodding their head in understanding and approval.  The moment was so awesome, so inspiring, that it utterly paralyzed Bnai Yisroel.  Even the commandments themselves were so awe inspiring that Bnai Yisroel has no way to deal with the day to day issues of everyday life.

            However, B’nai Yisroel, like the rest of us, could not and cannot live life in a state of revelation, spiritual awe and euphoria unable to function in the everyday world. As human beings, our ability to stay that awe-inspired, can only last a brief moment before we understand that we live here on earth and not in the spiritual realm. Now B’nai Yisroel must learn how to behave like a nation of priests here, in this world, on an everyday basis. This week’s Parshah, Mishpatim, begins: V’Eilah Hamishpatim, And these are the judgments or laws that you [Moshe], shall put before them. God then lists a plethora of rules and regulations by which everyday life must be lived.  The list enumerates how to solve problems that occur between community members: the treatment strangers and slaves and how to be a mentsche.  Except for attorneys, this list of laws and statutes might seem incredibly uninspiring, dry, and non-spiritual.

 Even in the dry, seemingly uninspired promulgation of these everyday laws, we learn a very valuable lesson. Parsha Mishpatim, with its plethora of laws, judgements, and statutes provide us with the tools for everyday life. This generation of former slaves need to learn how to take mundane activities and add meaning and holiness to it. Torah gives us the tools. We learn that revelation doesn’t happen too often. Grand, powerful, awe inspiring events don’t happen every day. If such moments did occur every day then those moments would cease being so grand, so powerful and so awe-inspiring. Or we would become so overwhelmed that when those moments ended we wouldn’t be able to return to a normal mundane life. We are capable of experiencing revelation everyday; it just won’t be the “Ten Commandments” type of revelation. B’nai Yisroel’s response of Na’Aseh V’Nishmah We will do and we will learn to Moshe’s presentation of these laws suggests that we are capable of inspiring ourselves, and able to experience revelation even in the mundane aspects of life. We do this learning and struggling to combine the sacred and the profane and the holy and the mundane. For now, our eldest daughter loves what she does and is able to handle the pace of life on a political campaign. As she makes her way from state to state, as the campaign draws to a close, hopefully she figures out how to return to a more balanced life and able to bring the revelation she experiences on the road to a more settled life. But for now, as a young politically passionate woman, she still has a candidate to get elected at least once if not twice; then maybe she will be ready for the more mundane aspects of life.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Takes Time, You Pick A Place To Go Just keep Truckin' On (Robert Hunter, Jerry Garcia et. al. - "Truckin'")

Last week, Ottawa experienced a terrorist attack aimed at Canada’s democratic institutions.  I didn’t know about it until our daughter, who is working in Seattle, texted me the news.  I turned on a U.S. news outlet that was covering the story.  Different news shows, with different talking heads, were interviewing eyewitnesses, FBI anti-terrorist authorities, as well as Federal and Provincial law enforcement. When I came home from work, our children asked if I had heard what occurred in Ottawa that day. “I did”, I replied. Then our son looked up at me and said, “Well I guess that means that there is nowhere safe from terrorist attacks.” I asked him what he meant. “Well, Israel has terrorist attacks, the United States has terrorist attacks like 9/11.” When I said that there must be some country that has not had a terrorist attack, he quickly answered, “Maybe but I would never want to live there. I have lived in America, mommy talks about living in Israel, and we live in Canada and I never heard about a terrorist attack in Canada until this week.”  I thought about what Prime Minister Harper said about democracy  and combating fear, I thought about what Mayor Rudy Giuliani said soon after the 9/11 attacks about New York being open for business and living in an open democratic society.  Just like my son quickly came to the realization that there is no such thing as an open democratic society invulnerable to a terrorist attack, now another country, Canada has to quickly come to the same realization and begin a different kind of national journey. Thankfully, Prime Minister Harper has already begun the journey as he has been an outspoken supporter of fighting terrorism, whether it be ISIS or Hamas. He has not only used words but has used deed as well by providing military and intelligence support to the United States in the war on terrorism.  With this recent attack upon a solider in Quebec and then the attack in Ottawa, the world seems to look a little different than it did a few weeks before. When my children look at the world from their “Canadian lens”, they see a similar world as when they look through their “American lens”. There are bad people, and bad ideas out there that want to hurt people innocent people living decent lives in nice places. For my children to arrive at that realization is a process and journey that will require faith.

                This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Eventually, Abram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. Lot, Abram's nephew, and Abram decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household.

All these seemingly unrelated events are linked together by the explanation offered by the Talmudic Sages. Beginning with Abraham receiving the command Lech Lecha, to go, from his father’s home, his place of birth and his country to a new land, God was testing Abraham’s worthiness to receive God’s Brit, God’s covenant. (Mishnah Avot 5:4) Rambam, the great 12^th century Spanish physician, philosopher, commentator and Halachist, explains that these tests were not for God’s benefit. After all, God know what the result of the test will be. Rather, Rambam explains that the test is for the benefit of the person being tested. The Parsha begins with a seemingly superfluous word, Lecha for you. Ordinarily a command should be Lech – Go. However God says “Lech Lecha” – Go for you/Go for yourself.  Meaning Avraham’s going and the ensuing tests that Avraham will face is for Avraham’s sake. The test are designed to prove to Avraham that he is worthy of this unique relationship with God. It’s one thing when a parent, a teacher, or a mentor believes in us. However if we don’t believe in ourselves, then it doesn’t matter how much confidence other may have, we still may feel unworthy or unable to succeed.

            The same holds true for communities and countries. Like the United States democratic ideals, values and institution were tested on 9/11, Canada now faces a similar test. Will Canada cower to the terrorists? Like other democracies that experienced terrorist attacks, Canadians inherently understand that the Democracy will only cower to terrorist if it gives into fear.  Should there be more security? Certainly. Should Canada become a closed society where individual rights are trampled in the name of security? It seems that Canadian politicians and the Canadian electorate, need to embark upon a journey for the good of the country, a journey that the United States began on 9/11, and determine the delicate balance between security and reduced risk while maintaining the sanctity of individual rights and freedoms. Like I explained to my son, Canada, is still a safe place to live, and a good place to live.

Peace,

Rav Yitz