Mama, Mama, Many Worlds I've Come Since I First Left Home (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Brokedown Palace")

           The United States observance and celebration of it Thanksgiving signal the beginning of the holiday season. If Christmas decorations have not yet appeared in storefronts, they do so now. Individual homes and town centers begin cleaning up and decorating acknowledging Christmas and Chanukkah. We all begin shopping for gifts for family and friends. Of course, all the Christmas specials are re-broadcast on television. Our family’s favorite Holiday season movie is Frank Capra’s 1946 film It’s A Wonderful Life.  I have watched the movie since I was a kid. With each passing year, with each phase of my life, I have seen Jimmy Stewart’s character, George Bailey, in a different light. As he went through different phases of growing up, getting married, and raising a family, I have done the same. As he struggled with his existential angst, so have I. This year, for the first time in 32 years, I have no children in my house. Instead, they are living their lives, on their own, following their path. As a result, I experienced the movie just a bit differently than before.   During one particular scene Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey sits at the dining room table with his mother, his father, and his younger brother, they discuss George’s future plans. He expresses his need to leave and go out on his own: “I just feel like if I don't get away, I'd bust.” I smiled to myself because, in my mind, it seemed like yesterday that I felt that way in terms of my parents. Now I am at a point in my life where my kids have all adopted a similar mantra. For the first time, I identified with George Bailey’s father, the parent offering guidance to the child who prepares to go off on his own. 

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is on Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov will find out what it means to be alone in the world.  He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the last time, he will have to face being alone. He will learn to be an independent individual. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father-in-law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus on Yaakov’s life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living, and all the trials, tribulations, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully, he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Yet throughout the narrative he will learn to be alone, he will learn to become independent, and he will learn, through trial and error, to whom he should spiritually cling: Esav, his parents, Lavan, his wives, and God.

           At the conclusion of the previous Parsha, Parsha Toldot, we read that Yitzchak and Rivkah instructed Yaakov to go to Padan- Aram, to the house of Bethuel (Rivkah’s father’s home) and take a wife from there. We would expect Parsha VaYeitze to begin with Yaakov heading to Padan- Aram. Instead, VaYeitze begins: VaYeitze Yaakov M’Beer Sheva VaYeilech Charana – Yaakov departed from Beer Sheva and went toward Charan. Why doesn’t VaYeitze, say that Yaakov departed and went to Padan Aram? Why do we need to be told that he went to Charan? What’s in Charan? Yaakov has never been away from home. Although he is heading toward his mother’s family; even Rivkah knew enough to leave her family of origin. Now Yaakov, in order to preserve his life, must leave his family of origin. In Toldot, Yaakov was described as Ish Tam  Yoshev Ohalim – a simple man of faith who dwells in tents (Gen. 19;27) The Talmudic Sages explain that Yaakov’s dwelling in the tents meant that he spent time in his parent’s tents studying and learning. However, no learning would prepare him for what he would contend with when dealing with Rivka’s family and particularly her brother Lavan.  Rabbi Kamenetsky, (1891-1986), explained that prior to arriving in Paddan Aram, Yaakov stopped in Charan to learn from Shem and Eber. Shem was Noah’s son and Eber from the generation of the Tower of Bavel. Both were considered righteous and wise men who lived in unsavory environments and managed to retain their sense of righteousness. Yaakov sought their practical wisdom prior to his encounter with Lavan and dealing with becoming independent in an unsavory environment.  He will also need the wisdom of Shem and Eber to help him eventually return home. As a result of Yaakov’s diversion, Yaakov understands that he must maintain a relationship with God, and he understands that he will need to find his way home when the time is right.

          In It’s A Wonderful Life, George Bailey’s desire to leave home was symbolized by his request and his “wish to never been born”. Indeed, when George cries out “I want to live again” he is asking to return home. For Yaakov, he needed to leave his physical home, but clearly, he took with him the values and the learning that he acquired from his family. He took God with him as well as the sense of the land. He took with him a desire to return home. Yaakov and George Bailey derive an aspect of their independence from not only leaving home but leaving home with a code as well has to have the courage and humility to return home. Indeed, our children have all left home, however, our children also know that whenever the need arises, the doors of the home are always open, and their parents' arms are also open to hug them when they walk in the door

Peace
Rav Yitz.

Gonna Leave This Brokedown Palace; On My Hands And My Knees, I Will Roll, Roll, Roll (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Brokedown Palace")

Now that December Holiday season is upon us, one cannot turn on the television without a Christmas special on this channel or a Christmas movie on that channel. Perhaps the most beloved holiday movie in our home is Frank Capra’s “It’s A Wonderful Life”. In fact, the first time the movie was on this year occurred last Saturday night during the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday. With all of our children, we sat together as a family and watched. We have watched this movie dozens and dozens of times as a family. While we watched, our 17-year-old daughter furiously worked on her university applications as well as her Israel seminary applications. The Seminary applications and one university application were due the following day.   During the scene Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey sits at the dining room table with his mother, his father, his younger brother, they discuss George’s future plans. There we were, our seventeen-year-old sitting with her father, mother and siblings worry about her future. Our daughter, who just wanted to be finished with the process, declared that perhaps she would just remain at home. As she makes this statement, Jimmy Steward said: “I just feel like if I don't get away, I'd bust.” We all laughed at the contradicting attitudes: one stated by our daughter and one stated by Jimmy Stewart as a 21-year-old son.  When we finished laughing, I suggested that our two children who no longer lived at home ought to provide an answer.  

This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov will find out what it means to be alone in the world.  He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the last time, he will have to face being alone. He will learn to be an independent individual. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father in- law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus upon Yaakov’s life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living and all the trials, tribulation, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully, he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Yet throughout the narrative he will learn to be alone, he will learn to become independent, he will learn, through trial and error, to whom he should spiritually cling: Esav, his parents, Lavan, his wives, and God.

At the conclusion of the previous Parsha, Parsha Toldot, we read that Yitzchak and Rivkah instructed Yaakov to go to Padan- Aram, to the house of Bethuel (Rivkah’s father’s home) and take a wife from there. We would expect Parsha VaYeitze to begin with Yaakov heading to Padan- Aram. Instead, VaYeitze begins: VaYeitze Yaakov M’Beer Sheva VaYeilech Charana – Yaakov departed from Beer Sheva and went toward Charan. Why doesn’t VaYeitze, say that Yaakov departed and went to Padan Aram? Why do we need to be told that he went to Charan what’s in Charan? Keeping in mind that Yaakov has never been away from home and although he is heading toward his mother’s family; even Rivkah knew enough to leave her family of origin. Now Yaakov, in order to preserve his life, must leave his family of origin. In Toldot, Yaakov was described as Ish Tam  Yoshev Ohalim – a simple man of faith who dwells in tents (Gen. 19;27) The Talmudic Sages explain that Yaakov’s dwelling in the tents meant that he spent time in his parent’s tents studying and learning. However, no learning would prepare him for what he would contend with when dealing with Rivka’s family and particularly her brother Lavan.  Rabbi Kamenetsky, (1891-1986), explained that prior to arriving in Paddan Aram, Yaakov stopped in Charan to learn from Shem and Eber. Shem was Noah’s son, and Eber from the generation of the Tower of Bavel. Both were considered righteous and wise men who lived in unsavory environments and managed to retain their sense of righteousness. Yaakov sought their practical wisdom prior to his encounter with Lavan and dealing with becoming independent in an unsavory environment.  He will also need the wisdom of Shem and Eber to help him eventually return home. As a result of Yaakov’s diversion, Yaakov understands that he must maintain a relationship with God, and he understands that he will need to find his way home when the time is right.

As we watched the movie, George Bailey’s desire to leave home was symbolized by his request and his “wish to never been born”. Indeed, when George cries out “I want to live again” he is asking to return home. For Yaakov, he needed to leave his physical home, but clearly, he took with him the values and the learning that he acquired from his family. He took God with him as well as the sense of the land. He took with him a desire to return home. Yaakov and George Bailey derive an aspect of their independence from not only leaving home but leaving home with a code as well has having the courage and humility to return home. Our daughter’s older sisters both explained that leaving home is a vital ingredient in becoming and independent and confident person. Older sisters pointed out that part of becoming independent is knowing what to bring and what to leave, what wisdom is helpful and which superstitions are foolish As our 17-year-old watched the remainder of the movie and listened to her older sisters’ wisdom, hopefully, she will leave with same excitement and enthusiasm as they left with. Admittedly, and selfishly, I also hope that she will return often, having become an independent,  thoughtful, and decent woman like her sisters.

Peace

Rav Yitz.

All I Leave Behind Me Is Only What I Found ( Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "China Doll")

Now that the December Holiday season is upon us, one cannot turn on the television without a Christmas special on one channel or a Christmas movie on another channel. Perhaps the most beloved holiday movie in our home is Frank Capra’s “It’s A Wonderful Life”. In fact the first time the movie was on this year occurred earlier this week. With our children on the computer, the phone or the IPod, I happened to turn the movie on. I notified my children that “It’s a Wonderful Life” was on. I have never seen them stop doing whatever it is they were doing. Within a few seconds, our kids were on the sofa watching the movie. We have watched this movie dozens and dozens of times as a family. Often times our kids will ask us questions about the movie, it’s setting, and if life was really the way it is portrayed in the movie. For the first time, our kids picked up on something that I never really noticed. Until Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey gets married, his greatest desire is to leave home, go away to school, and make a life for himself in some other place besides Bedford Falls. This unfulfilled desire gnaws away at him and contributes to his sense of failure as an adult, as a husband, and a father.  They wondered aloud why it is so important for George Bailey to have left home, and why is it such a source of frustration in his life? I explained that leaving home is important because it is vital to become an independent and confident person. I explained that we could talk more after the movie.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov will find out what it means to be alone in the world.  He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the last time, he will have to face being alone. He will learn to be an independent individual. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father in- law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus upon Yaakov’s life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living and all the trials, tribulation, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Yet throughout the narrative he will learn to be alone, he will learn to become independent, he will learn, through trial and error, to whom he should spiritually cling: from Esav, to his parents, Lavan, his wives, and ultimately God.

At the conclusion of the previous Parsha, Parsha Toldot, we read that Yitzchak and Rivkah instructed Yaakov to go to Padan- Aram, to the house of Bethuel (Rivkah’s father’s home) and take a wife from there. We would expect Parsha VaYeitze to begin with Yaakov heading to Padan- Aram. Instead, VaYeitze begins: VaYeitze Yaakov M’Beer Sheva VaYeilech Charana – Yaakov departed from Beer Sheva and went toward Charan. Why doesn’t VaYeitze, say that Yaakov departed and went to Padan Aram? Why do we need to be told that he went to Charan what’s in Charan? Keeping in mind that Yaakov has never been away from home and although he is heading toward is mother’s family; even Rivkah knew enough to leave her family of origin. Now Yaakov, in order to preserve his life, must leave his family of origin. In Toldot, Yaakov was described as Ish Tam  Yoshev Ohalim – a simple man of faith who dwells in tents (Gen. 19;27) The Talmudic Sages explain that Yaakov’s dwelling in the tents meant that he spent time in his parent’s tents studying and learning. However no learning would prepare him for what he would contend with when dealing with Rivka’s family and particularly her brother Lavan.  Rabbi Kamenetsky, (1891-1986), explained that prior to arriving in Paddan Aram, Yaakov stopped in Charan to learn from Shem and Eber. Shem was Noah’s son, and Eber from the generation of the Tower of Bavel. Both were considered righteous and wise men who lived in unsavory environments and managed to retain their sense of righteousness. Yaakov sought their practical wisdom prior to his encounter with Lavan and dealing with becoming independent in an unsavory environment.  He will also need the wisdom of Shem and Eber to help him eventually return home. As a result of Yaakov’s detour, Yaakov understands that he must maintain a relationship to God, and he understands that he will need to find his way home when the time is right.

As we watched the movie, I suggested that George’s he wished that he never had been born, symbolized his leaving home and all the lives he touched when he left only to return when he returns to real life. For Yaakov, he needed to leave his physical home, but clearly he took with him the values and the learning that he acquired from his family. He took God with him as well as the sense of the land. He took with him a desire to return home. I reminded our children that part of becoming independent is knowing what to bring and what to leave, what wisdom is helpful and which superstitions are foolish. For both Yaakov and George Baily, part of the independence that they achieve is deriving their own faith based upon not only what they learn from their families but from their own experiences. Hopefully, our children, as they strive for their own sense of independence will make stops along the way in order to learn, test, and discover faith for themselves. Of course when they are all finished, hopefully they will come home every so often to visit.

Peace

Rav Yitz.

Look Into Any Eyes You Find By You; You Can See Clear To Another Day (Robert Hunter & Phil Lesh - "Box of Rain")

We wouldn’t necessarily know it from the weather, but if anyone has been to the malls they are certainly aware that it is “the most wonderful time of the year”. It is the time of year that the Jews go to Florida, and on one day during this week; eat Chinese food and perhaps go to the movies.  Since we are not going to Florida, our family will have the Chinese food. Our family has one other tradition. On December 24^th, we light a fire and watch It’s a Wonderful Life. One of the themes of It’s a Wonderful Life is that an individual’s life touches many other lives. Sometimes we explicitly affect others’ lives, sometimes we implicitly affect other lives. Perhaps we may never know the extent to which we affect and influence others' lives. However, as George Bailey watches people from his town give a few dollars to help him out of a difficult financial bind, he becomes acutely aware that everything he did, every decision he made, every trial and tribulation, every joyous moment and every difficult moment were necessary parts of his life. All of which allowed him to arrive at this final moment; a moment in which he was able to experience the holiness of an act of Loving Kindness.

 This week’s Parshah, Vayechi is the conclusion of the book of Breishit (Genesis). Because this is the last Parshah of the Sefer B’reishit, we read of the passing of the mantle of power from one generation to the next. Yaakov is 147 years old and it is time for him to bless his children and his grandchildren. To each of his twelve sons, he offers a blessing. To Yosef’s sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, he not only offers a blessing but he reserves the blessing of the first born to the younger brother, Ephraim.  This is fitting. Yaakov also received the blessing reserved for the first born. He also leaves Yosef with one last mission. Yaakov tells Yosef of the covenant that God made with Avraham, Yitzchak and himself. He also made Yosef swear an oath that he would bring him out of Egypt and bury him with his father and grandfather. Yosef accepts this oath. He and his brothers leave Egypt and bury their father. Because the famine remains pervasive throughout the land, they return to Egypt. Now the brothers fear Yosef’s wrath. Although he has not expressed any anger towards them, the brothers believe now that their father is dead; Yosef’s anger will not be contained. First they sent servants to Yosef in order to plead on their behalf. Then the brothers plead to Yosef and prostrate themselves before Yosef. Yosef’s response indicates his maturity, his spiritual contentment and his peace with himself and his environment. Vayomer Aleihem Yosef Al Tirau Ki Hatachat Elohim Ani -“But Joseph said to them, ‘Fear not, for am I instead of God? V’Atem Chashavtem Alai Ra’ah Elohim Chashava L’Tovah L’Ma’An Asah KaYom HaZeh LHaChayot Am Rav - Although you intended me harm, God intended it for good: in order to accomplish, it is as clear as this day, that a vast people be kept alive.  V’Atah Al Tirau Anochi Achalkeil Etchem V’et Tapchem Vayinachem Otam Vayidaber al Libam -So now fear not, I will sustain you and your young ones.’ Thus he comforted them and spoke to their heart.” (Gen: 19-21) Yosef bears no animosity towards his brothers. The tears he shed in last week’s parsha, VaYigash, were genuine. The joy of re-uniting with his family without rancor and bitterness overwhelmed any negative or bitter feelings. Yosef understands and accepts his place. Yosef understands that he had to experience all the tsuris and all the simcha of his life in order to arrive at that point in time and in that manner. Yosef arrived at that moment without bitterness. He chose not to have bitterness. Rather, his faith and sense of self provided enough strength for him to make peace, achieve contentment, and appreciate the path that his life had taken.

It took George Bailey to sink to his lowest point, wishing he “had never been born” in order to understand that by living life, by working hard, by trying to make a difference, he ultimately did. Like most of us, we don’t always get to see how our deeds and actions make a difference to those lives we touch. Like George Bailey, Yosef understood all this. He too had to go through all kinds of difficulty, namely an estrangement from his family for more than twenty years, in order for him to learn the lesson that that everything has to happen in order for us to arrive at this point in time. Both George Bailey and Yosef teach us to try hard, to do our best, never lose faith and don’t allow negative feelings to overwhelm us to the point of becoming embittered souls. Ultimately we need to learn and eventually accept that everything unfolds the way it does in order for us to be here at this moment in time.

Peace,

Rav Yitz