All This Favour Ended When My Brother Failed At War - (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "My Brother Esau")

           Being American, Thanksgiving was always a big deal in my family. There were numerous family traditions and foods that were associated with the day. One of the traditions established by my mother occurred during the meal. We would go around the table and offer our reason for being thankful. Usually, the reasons focused on health and family. However this year I am more acutely aware of what or more importantly for whom I am not thankful. I am not thankful for Elon Musk and his decision to reinstate Donald Trump on Twitter. However, I am thankful for all those employees of Twitter who continue to quit and hopefully, the company will be utterly ruined and fall into the dust heap of history. If you go on Twitter, you will find a cesspool of hate ignorance, intolerance a  sewage system of conspiracy theories, and a public square inhabited by loud people who crave attention, speak in hyperbole, and pander in fear and hatred. 

          This week’s Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – is a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving blessings, and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father, Avraham, who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak does not go down to Egypt. Yitzchak remains, grows wealthy, and re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses on Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. As a result, Esav is fit to be tied and threatens to kill Yaakov.

        When Esav turned 40, he got married. As different as the boys were before this, Esav’s marriages reflect his further spiritual diminishment from his mother and father. Esav’s association with these women brings out the worst in him. Va’Yehi Eisav Ben Arbaim Shanah VaYikach Isha et Y’hudit Bat B’Eiri HaChiti V’et Basmat Bat Eilon Ha’Chiti – When Esav was forty years old, he took as a wife Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. Va’Tiheyenah Morat Ruach L’Yitzchak U’l’Rivkah – and they were a source of spiritual bitterness for Yitzchak and Rivka (Gen.26:24). There is a Midrash that tells us that once a species of bird migrated to Eretz Yisrael. The Rabbis were unable to determine whether this new specie was kosher or treif. Rabbi Chiya, the leading scholar of his day, said, “Isolate one on the roof and see what kind of birds associate with it.” Immediately a raven (which is not kosher) joined the new bird. The Rabbis were able to finally determine that the new species of bird was not kosher. The same was true with regard to Esav when he married both women. They brought out the worst in him, whether it was Avodah Zarah – idolatry, or degrading himself to such a point that he did not warrant receiving the blessing. Of even greater concern to Rivkah and Yitzchak was the departure of the Divine Presence. Remember that when Yitzchak’s mother, Sarah, died, the light in her tent, the holy presence diminished. When Yitzchak married Rivka, the holy presence returned to Sarah’s tent. However, when Esav’s wives became part of Yitzchak’s household, this holy light was vanquished.

          Yes, there was a brief moment when Twitter was first created when its potential was evaluated through the prism of the best of human nature. When children are young, we tend to see their future as positive, full of potential, and as a source of joy and pride (nachas) to the parents. At that moment we are completely thankful. However, the children grow up and follow their paths, and perhaps a parent’s optimism, hopes, and dreams gradually diminish and are replaced with the realization that the child has become the worst possible version of him/herself. That is what happened to Esav. That also holds for any new endeavor or product or service. Twitter came into the world and was hailed as a place for the civilized exchange of ideas, and the instant transmission of information. Sadly it did not take long for Twitter to grow up and become the worst possible version of itself, a place that attracts misinformation, conspiracy, hatred, racism, antisemitism, and fear. Maybe all those who left Elon Musk can form a version of Twitter that fulfills the best possible version of itself and become like Yaakov as opposed to Esav.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

And I Told Her My Story; I Told Her What Was Going On (Grateful Dead - "Caution: Do Not Stop On Tracks)

           Despite the rising tide of antisemitism, despite the cesspool of anti-semitic tropes that one finds on Twitter, despite all the anti-semitic conspiracy theories found in the extreme parts of the Alt-Right universe and the anti-Israel rhetoric of the extreme Left political universe, I found tremendous comfort in the middle. Two weeks ago, the State of Pennsylvania elected a “Left of Center” Jewish Governor. Josh Shapiro was recently elected Governor by receiving the greatest amount of votes for a Governor in state history.  He ran against a candidate who espoused White Christian Nationalism, supported the January 6th Capitol Riot, and believed that a woman has no right to an abortion under any circumstance. Josh Shapiro grew up attending Jewish Days School and attending shul with his father. He and his wife send their children to Day School and celebrate Shabbat and the Jewish Holidays. When Josh campaigned, he told a story that people were familiar with. He told a story. He told an aspirational story of a nation founded upon the principles of religious freedom. He told the aspirational story of a nation struggling to guarantee and protect the rights and freedoms of all its citizens. He reminded the voters that the future of their community and state is premised upon expanding rights, freedoms, and liberties. Josh’s story reminded everyone of the past and spoke of a future that was both inspirational and aspirational.

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha Chayei Sarah, “the Life of Sarah”. It is a rather odd name for a Parsha that discusses’ Sarah’s death, and Avraham’s funeral preparations including a eulogy, crying, and the purchase of land for burial. The focus then shifts from Sarah’s death and Avraham’s caring for her to Avraham’s son Yitzchak and getting on with his life. Avraham instructs his servant to find a wife for Yitzchak from among his ancestors. The servant head back to Avraham’s homeland, he asks God for a sign so that he knows which girl is the right one for his master’s son. He finds the girl and convinces her to return with him, the girl leaves home and heads back with the servant to meet her new husband and her father–in–law. They get married. Avraham takes a wife and lives quietly in retirement. The Parsha concludes with Avraham’s death and the death of his eldest son Ishmael.

          Structurally, the Parsha is rather peculiar. Between the narrative of Sarah’s death and funeral and the narrative of Avraham and Ishmael’s deaths exists a narrative affirming life.  A father arranges to find a wife for his son. A young woman, Rivkah,  leaves home and marries Avraham’s son Yitzchak, a man who had a near-death experience when his father tried to offer him as a sacrifice and who is dealing with the death of his mother.  This life-affirming narrative is told in three different ways. The first narrative occurs when Avraham tells his servant what to do: Return to the ancestral homeland, find a girl from the tribe, and bring her back so that Yitzchak can marry her. The second narrative is Avraham’s plan coming to fruition. The servant returns to Avraham’s homeland, he prays to God for a sign that he should pick the right girl, he meets the girl and then meets the family. The third narrative is the servant recounting the narrative beginning with Avraham’s presenting the servant with this sacred task. Why does the Torah present this narrative in three different ways and from three different perspectives: Avraham’s plan, Avraham’s servant (Eliezer) fulfilling the mission, and Eliezer explaining all these events to Rebecca’s family? Why all the details? The Torah could have told of Avraham’s plan and even included the events that allowed Eliezer to fulfill the plan. Certainly, we don’t need to read Eliezer’s recounting of events to Rebecca’s family. The Torah could have said: “And Eliezer told her family all that happened.” Maybe we read the narratives’ reiteration gets us to look at it in more than just a cursory manner. The more we look at it, and hear about it, the more we begin to realize just how miraculous the whole story is. Maybe the narrative’s reiteration reminds us that the focus should be on life-affirming events rather than death-affirming events.  Maybe the subliminal message and the reason for the narrative’s reiteration is the sanctity of the narrative. Yitzchak was dealing with lots of death, as was Avraham. Generally, death marks the end of a narrative. For Yitzchak and Rebecca, both of whom were about to begin a new stage of life together, they needed to have a new narrative, their narrative. For the narrative to be effective it had to include the past and an origin, it needs to embody a point to a possible future, it needs to embody fundamental values, and it needs to have a way of being transmitted.

          The ability to create a narrative and share it is an incredibly important part of life. A narrative connects the past, present, and future. A narrative provides attributes meaning by adeptly connecting seemingly disparate events. Whether it was a servant’s narrative that spoke of miracles and God’s presence, or a gubernatorial candidate’s narrative on the broad themes of liberty and freedom as expressed in casting a ballot; narratives connect people allowing them to create community, purpose, and meaning.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Esau Holds A Blessing, Brother Esau Holds A Curse; I Would Say That The Blame Is Mine, I Suspect It's Something Worse (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Brother Esau")

           At age 17, our son is a bit of an idealist. Like so many of his generation, he deals in absolutes. People are good or bad. I try to explain to him that people do good things or bad things.  He also discovered “Classic Rock”. Earlier this week he asked me to listen to a song called “American Pie”. Before he had a chance to play the song for me, I told him who wrote and performed it, the year the song was released, and what the song was about. I also told him that the artist was an abusive husband, and convicted of several misdemeanor domestic abuse charges. My son was shocked. First, he was shocked that his old father actually knew the song. Second, he was now upset to find out that a person who had done some pretty awful things, created such an iconic song. I challenged him by suggesting that perhaps we should not listen to the song anymore. He hesitated because he like the song. I suggested that he read the New York Times Op-Ed by Jennifer Finney Boylan’s “Should Classic Rock Songs Be Toppled Like Confederate Statues” (NY Times Nov 3, 2021). She does what Judaism has always done, acknowledge deeds because people are complex. 

          This week, we read from Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any more different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving the covenantal blessing, and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father, Avraham, who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak does not go down to Egypt. Yitzchak remains in the land, grows wealthy, and re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses upon Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. As a result, Esav is fit to be tied and threatens to kill Yaakov. The Parsha concludes with Rivka telling Jacob to go to her brother’s home, convincing Yitzchak that Yaakov needs to leave home in order to find a wife. Yaakov receives his father’s blessing, the blessing of the Brit, the Covenant that God made with Avraham and Yitzchak, a blessing that was never intended for Esav.  Yaakov leaves home and Esav moves away as well. He decides to dwell with his uncle Ishmael among the Canaanites.

           The Torah never tells us that Esav is a bad son. Instead, some of his deeds are described in a less than positive light.  Yes, he sells his birthright to his brother because he is “starving to death”.  He marries the wrong girl from the wrong tribe which upsets his parents. However, we should keep in mind he fulfills his father’s request in order to receive his blessing. In fact, the ChaZaL, the Talmudic Sages, ascribe the mitzvah of Kibud Av,  respecting the father, to Esav.  Frequently, Esav would cook and care for his father. Clearly, he was very close to Yitzchak. So when Esav doesn’t receive the blessing: KiShma Esav et Divrei Aviv Yitzchak Tzaaka Gedola U’Mara Ad M’Ode; VaYomer L’Aviv Barcheini Gam Ani Avi When Esav heard his father’s words, he cried out an exceedingly great and bitter cry, and said to his father, “Bless me to my Father” (27:34). Four verses later, when it appears that Yitzchak doesn’t have a blessing in reserve for Esav: VaYomer Esav El Aviv HaBracha Achat Hee Lecha Avi, Barcheini Gam Ani Avi VaYisah Esav Kolo VaYeivk – Esav said to his father, “have you but one blessing, my Father? Bless me too my father!” and Esav raised his voice and wept (27:38).  After this big strong strapping sort of man finished crying he then vowed to kill his brother.  For a moment at least, Esav appears sympathetic, his cry is “exceedingly great”; he “raises his voice and weeps”.  What did these cries sound like? After all, not all cries sound the same. Was it the type of cry when one has suffered a sudden loss? Was it the cry of someone who just broke a bone? Was it the cry upon hearing the news of a loved one? Was it the cry of being at the end of one’s emotional rope and feeling helpless in the face of life’s onslaught? The Meforshim (the commentators) are oddly silent about the nature of the “Tzaak Gedola UMara- the great and bitter cry. Perhaps the silence suggests that Esav’s response is legitimately reasonable. Maybe the silence suggests that Esav’s crying is so out of character from the way he has behaved up until this point. Perhaps Esav is changed after the second cry. Regarding the VaYisah Esav Kolo VaYeivk Esav raised his voice and wept;” the Midrash Tanchuma comments that Esav wept only three tears. One from each eye and one that disappeared in the midst of his eye. When God saw that the “wicked one wept over his life only 3 tears”, that small limited moment demonstrated the smallest of regret over the what his life had become and might very well be in the future. For this tiny moment, for this humane cry, God made sure that Esav received a blessing. Maybe not the one that Yaakov received, but this minimal blessing reflects the minimal nature of the crying, weeping.

           Indeed, Esav did some bad things. Time and time again, the Torah records Esav’s deeds. Describing Esav as a hunter doesn’t make him bad. Selling his birthright doesn’t make him bad. Even when distraught over the loss of the blessing, he leaves his parents and goes to his uncle Ishmael and marries the Canaanite woman, the Torah never expresses its disapproval. Only Esav's mother,  Rivkah indicates her disapproval. Only the generations after Yaakov,  the generations living under Roman rule beginning with the Talmudic Sages evaluated Esav’s deeds and categorized him as “bad” as “evil”; all but dismissing his expression of  Kibud Av (respect and reverence for one’s father). Certainly,  Esav is not worthy of receiving the covenantal blessing. Does that mean he is unworthy of receiving a blessing? Is he unworthy of his father’s love even if that love is conditional?. As our son listened to the “American Pie” several more times, he began to understand that the works or the deeds of a person stand alone.  Even more important, he realized the limitations of looking at the world in terms of  “black” and ‘white” and evaluating a  person as either “good” or “bad”. Suddenly, he understood that life has far more gray and people are far more complex. It seems our son is growing up.

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

I Can Hear The Siren's Call It's A Certain Sort Of Sound; And The Rain Falling Down (John Barlow & Bob Weir -"Saint of Circumstance")

           Over the past few weeks, Frances Haugen,  a former data scientist at Facebook, revealed how the company’s algorithm amplifies misinformation, anger, inflammatory divisive speech: all of which ultimately corrodes the foundations of a democratic society. She explained this to newspapers, and with numerous documents that she copied prior to leaving Facebook, she testified to this before a Senate subcommittee. Earlier this week, she appeared before the British Parliament to testify as well. Since she went public with her story and documents, others have and will continue to come forward testifying to the toxic environment that Facebook creates with its algorithm, its disdain for public safety, and its avarice and greed with revenue generation as its only goal. It takes a certain type of person to have the courage, the strength of character, a strong moral code,  to be a whistleblower. I don’t think Ms. Haugen began her career as a data scientist aspiring to become a whistleblower.  Nor do I think that one becomes a whistleblower for selfish reasons. It is a rather selfless and lonely endeavor that illustrates a concern for the greater good and concern for the vulnerable.

        This week's Parsha is Chayei Sarah. The Parsha begins with recounting the years of Sarah's life, Avraham's mourning for his wife, purchasing the land for Sarah's burial, and then burying her. Avraham then tells his servant that he does not want his son, Yitzchak, marrying a Canaanite woman. Instead, his servant must return to Avraham's hometown and look for a woman from Avraham's family/ tribe. The servant wants to know how to determine the appropriate girl for his master's son. Avraham answers that the girl that returns with the servant is the right girl. Armed with treasures, camels, and plenty of wealth for a dowry, the servant sets off and decides that the best place to find a girl is by the local well. There the servant decides that the "right" girl is the girl who would offer him water, as well as offer water to his camels. Sure enough, Rebecca arrives at the well and fulfills the servant's standard. The servant returns with Rebecca to her family convinces the family to let her go, and Rebecca is asked if she wants to return with the servant. Rebecca unhesitatingly responds with a yes. Now Rebecca has fulfilled the servant's requirement as well as Avraham's requirement. Upon her arrival at her new home, she sees her betrothed, and, not knowing who he was, asked the servant. The servant told her and she covered herself. Rebecca and Yitzchak are married. The Parsha concludes with Yitzchak and Ishmael burying their father, and the genealogy of Ishmael's family.

        The story of the Yitzchak and Rebecca's courtship is one of the more unique stories in Torah. Three times we read of the servant’s test or criteria for determining a wife for his master’s son. The first mention occurs when the servant prays to God that a girl offers water to him and his camels. Vayomer Adonai Elohei Adoni Avraham Hakrei Nah Lfanai Hayom V'Asei Chesed Im Adoni Avraham - And he said, " Lord, God of my master Avraham, may you so arrange it for me this day that you do kindness with my master Abraham, See, I stand here by the spring of water and the daughters of the townsmen come out to draw. Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall say 'Please tip over your jug so I may drink', and who replies, 'Drink, and I will even water your camels,'…. (Gen 24:12-14) The second telling of this story is when it actually occurs. (Gen 24:15-21) The third telling of the story occurs when the servant tells it for the first time to Rebecca's family (Gen.24:42-46). These events must be significant if Torah tells us the events in three different contexts, all of which are in the same chapter.

        The servants' criteria are quite eye-opening. A woman that shows kindness to the stranger, a lowly servant, the embodiment of the vulnerable. The woman showed kindness to the stranger by offering him water and then providing water to his camels without having to be asked. Neither demonstrating fear of a stranger, concern for her safety, Rebecca's sole focus was upon the well-being of the “other”, in this case, Avraham’s servant. Such a selfless woman, with a genuine concern for the “other”, must be the right person for his master’s son because similar qualities are manifest in his master’s character. The servant doesn’t worry about looks, her family's character, and behavior, success in school, or anything else. Just one simple act of Gemilut Chasadim, of Loving Kindness, is the sole criteria for choosing a mate. Ms. Haugen must have had role models, perhaps her parents, teachers, or mentors with tremendous character, a powerful moral code, and concern for the welfare of others. Clearly, Ms. Haugen learned those lessons, internalized them, made those qualities part of her character, and when confronted with an injustice, she blew a whistle in an attempt to make the world a bit safer and a bit better than it was before. 

Peace,
Rav Yitz

The More My Brother Looks Like Me The Less I Understand (John Barlow & Bob Weir- "My Brother Esau")

           With her candidate’s campaign now complete, our daughter needed a rest. When we spoke about her post-campaign plans, I suggested that a two-week quarantine with unlimited wifi, meals served, no chores, access to exercise equipment, cable television, free laundry, and a coffee maker might permit her to relax, catch up on some sleep, as well as her friends. All the while she could professionally network.  By the time her quarantine would end, she could celebrate her birthday and celebrate U.S. Thanksgiving. For our son, his eldest sister’s presence would mean that he wouldn’t be the only child home while we celebrated American Thanksgiving. So, with an opportunity to quarantine, relax, and celebrate her birthday and Thanksgiving with at least one of her siblings,  our eldest daughter arrived home. Thankfully she feels fine.  During her quarantine, our other daughters, (University of Maryland and Israel) have called the two siblings who are here in Toronto. They have had several Whatsapp group video calls. We, the parents,  love watching the four of them speak together or video chat together. As I watch them and listen, I am amazed by their similarities and their differences. I am always amazed that these four nearly adult children who grew up in the same are four different personalities and different perspectives on the world. 

          This week, we read from Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any more different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving blessings, and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak doesn’t depart from the land but rather remains there, growing wealthy. Instead, Yitzchak re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses upon Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. Esav discovers that he lost out on the blessing and he threatens to kill Yaakov. The Parsha concludes with Rivka telling Jacob to go to her brother’s home. She explains to  Yitzchak that Yaakov needs to leave home in order to find a wife. Prior to his departure, Yitzchak wants to bless Yitzchak.  So, prior to his departure Yaakov receives his the blessing of the Brit, the Covenant that God made with Avraham and Yitzchak. This covenantal blessing was never intended for Esav.  Yaakov leaves home. Esav moves away as well and decides to dwell with his uncle Ishmael among the Canaanites.

Two boys grew up in the same home with the same parents and instilled with the same values, went to the same day school, participated in the same extracurricular activities, and shared the same Bar Mitzvah date. Although the parents disagreed as to who was going to be “successful”; by the end of the Parsha, it is quite clear that the blessing that Yitzchak gave Yaakov prior to Yaakov’s departure was always intended for Yaakov. So to some extent, both parents agreed as to who was the rightful inheritor of the Abrahamic Covenant. Right or wrong, the parents had definite opinions about their sons’, their abilities, and their future success.  Much of that opinion is based upon how each child responds to life’s stimuli. The Torah doesn’t really tell us much about their respective youth, Va’Yigdalu HaN’Arim, “And the boys grew up.” (Gen25: 27) R’ Levi said: At first they were like myrtle and a wild rose growing side by side. But when they grew up the former yielded to its natural fragrance, and the latter its thorns. So, for the first thirteen years, both Yaakov and Esav went to school and came home from school. But at the end of thirteen years, one went to houses of study and the other to shrines of idolatry.” (Genesis Rabbah 63:10). The Sifsei Chachamim clarifies that until their Bar Mitzvah, they were nearly identical. However, after their Bar Mitzvah, essential differences became evident. By the time they reached Bar Mitzvah, they now can begin to formulate their own opinions, develop their own attitudes, respond to their likes and dislikes. By the time the boys reach Bar Mitzvah, the parents can see a personality develop and take root. 

          As parents, we always think our perceptions of our children are the best indicators of an outcome.  However, it would appear that parents’ perceptions are not always based upon the context at the time but rather upon an ideal. From Yitzchak’s perspective Esav was a fine son, and worthy of a blessing because he meticulously fulfilled the value of Kibud Av – Respecting the father.  However, as meticulous as Esav was about that particular value, it did not make him fit for The Covenantal  Blessing. Children grow up in the same home but they respond to the stimuli differently, they have different interests, passions, and experiences outside the home which also influence, shape, and stimulate. As parents, perhaps all we can do is leave our arms, homes, and minds open to our children, praising them when they work hard at becoming the best possible version of themselves, and kvelling when they accomplish this.

Peace, 

Rav Yitz 

The Story Teller Makes No Choice, Soon You Will Not Hear His Voice; His Job Is To Shed Light (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- Terrapin Station Suite/Lady With The Fan)

All week, our children have had a lesson in Civics. They have been watching the Impeachment hearings. I recorded them because I wanted to watch the testimony of Lt. Colonel Alexander Vindiman. Vindman is Jewish. In 1978, following his mother’s death, his father, and brothers emigrated from Kyiv, which was then part of the former Soviet Union and settled in an area of Brooklyn, NY known as “Little Odessa”.  He and his brother’s all served in the U.S. Armed Forces. During Vindman’s testimony, there were several moments when my children became aware that he was Jewish. First, there was his father’s value of making sure his children “got a good education”.  Second, there was Vindman’s testimony. It wasn’t so much a testimony but rather a narrative He was given the opportunity to provide testimony. Vindman didn’t just offer testimony. He offered a narrative to the House Intel committee. We heard about a plan (everything leading up to the “perfect phone call”), his experience as the plan unfolds (his listening to the “perfect phone call”), and finally his re-telling of these events both in his deposition in his testimony.  Finally, there was a moment towards the end of his testimony where he was asked to re-read an excerpt from his opening statement. In the excerpt he was asked to read, he thanked his father for bringing the family to America and that his father shouldn’t worry about his son testifying before the House Intelligence Committee, and that he would be safe because he was speaking the truth.  

This week's Parsha is Chayei Sarah. The Parsha begins with recounting the years of Sarah's life, Avraham's mourning for his wife, purchasing the land for Sarah's burial and then burying her. Avraham then tells his servant that he does not want his son, Yitzchak, marrying a Canaanite woman. Instead, the servant must return to Avraham's hometown and look for a woman from Avraham's family/ tribe. Avraham explains that the girl that returns with the servant is the right girl. Armed with treasures, camels and plenty of wealth for a dowry the servant sets off and decides that the best place to find a girl is by the local well. There the servant decides that the "right" girl is the girl who would offer him water, as well as offer water to his camels. Sure enough, Rebecca arrives at the well and fulfills the servant's standard. The servant returns with Rebecca to her family, he convinces the family to let her go, and Rebecca is asked if she wants to return with the servant. Rebecca unhesitatingly responds with a yes. Now Rebecca has fulfilled the servant's requirement as well as Avraham's requirement. Upon her arrival at her new home, she sees her betrothed, and, not knowing who he was, asked the servant. The servant told her and she covered herself. Rebecca and Yitzchak are married. The Parsha concludes with Yitzchak and Ishmael burying their father, and the genealogy of Ishmael's family.

Three different times and in three different contexts we read about a father’s desire to find a wife for his son and then we read about that desire being fulfilled.  First, Avraham tells his servant Eliezer to swear an oath to find a wife for Yitzchak. Then we read about Eliezer actually finding the future wife for his master’s son, Yitzchak. Finally, we read about Eliezer’s transmitting the first two narratives to the future bride’s family since they are about to be impacted by both Avraham’s desire for his son to find a wife and their daughter’s decision to become that wife. Each narrative contains numerous details and descriptions. Yet the narrative that immediately preceded this week’s Parsha, the narrative that Jewish tradition points to as the foundational essence of a people’s relationship to God, the Akedah, and The Binding of Isaac is a scant nineteen verses and numerous details aren’t even included. In this one long narrative divided into three subsections, we are told of specific conversations, prayers, jewelry as well as gifts for Rebecca’s family.  Why does the Torah tell the story of how a couple met in three different ways, the third being a recapitulation of previous events by the servant. The only other time we read of a detailed recapitulation of a narrative is when Moshe speaks to B’nai Yisroel when they are on the eastern bank of the Jordan River and preparing to enter into Eretz Canaan. The RaDaK (Rabbi David Kimchi- Provence, France 1160-1235) explains that Eliezer’s recapitulation serves to placate Rebecca and her family. Avraham’s servant speaks candidly and enthusiastically of his master and his master’s household. Eliezer’s re-capitulation hints at  Avraham’s character as well as the very unique covenant established between him and God. Only by transmitting this message, this story in a face to face manner, Rebecca’s family understands the significance and the necessity of Rebecca leaving her family of origin for her future with Yitzchak.

Creating a narrative is important for individuals and for nations. Eliezer’s re-capitulation to Rebecca’s family and indeed, to the reader serves to placate Rebecca, her family and us. Lt. Colonel Vindman’s testimony, his recapitulation of his story, his narrative, including his background and his upbringing, was designed to placate those for whom he had the greatest respect. His testimony, the narrative that he offered and the way in which he provided it was designed to placate his family, his father, in order to re-affirm to his father that he did the right thing raising his children in a democratic nation based on the rule of law, truth, and liberty. His testimony, the narrative he offered and the way in which he offered it was designed to placate. The testimony placated his teachers and those who wore the uniform. Finally, his testimony, his narrative was designed to placate those who buy into the “American Dream” as understood by his father. After the inspiring and comforting words that the Lt. Colonel offered his father and the rest of his family the gallery applauded. We watched, and our children commented that Lt. Colonel Vindman's father should be very proud and hopefully “shevved a lot of nachas”.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

What Truth Is Proof Against All Lies (Gerrit Graham & Bob Weir - "Victim Or The Crime")

Shiva for the last of the 11 Jews murdered in Pittsburgh will conclude this Sabbath. While the relatives of Rose Mallinger (z”l) sat Shiva, an election took place in the United States. When a virulent anti-semite, raging against Jews and Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society murdered Rose and 10 other Jews, Jews need to acknowledge that “it” can happen in America. As my children have watched the news about Pittsburgh unfold, as they have listened to commentators, Rabbis and civic leaders speak about it, as they listen to the President speak about it, they also  I remind my kids that “it” can happen in the U.S. My children watched the President denounced Anti-semitism; and, even though his son in law is Jewish, even though his daughter converted to Judaism, even though his grandchildren are Jewish, even though he has moved the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem; my children wanted to believe the President. I explained that of course we want to believe the President but then I warned them the need to do their homework and decide whether or not they should believe him. I suggested they take a few minutes and do some reading. The President uses terms like “Globalists” and described himself as a “Nationalist I suggested to my children that they should look into how those terms have been historically used and who used those terms. I suggested that they look up people like Richard Spencer, David Duke and see what they have to say about Trump. I suggested that they read an article about the rise of White Nationalism in the U.S. in the New York Times Magazine. I suggest that they look at t relationship between the rise of “Nationalism” and Anti-Semitism. That information is readily available from the Anti Defamation League

This week’s Parsha is Toldot. We read of the birth of Esav and Yaakov. Even though they were twins, we learn that these boys couldn’t be any different. Esav is a hunter Ish Sadeh – a man of the field, an outdoorsman, Yaakov is Ish Tam v’Yashav b’Ohalo – a simple man who resides in his tent. Yaakov is concerned with the Birthright, receiving blessings and the spiritual world. Esav is concerned with eating, drinking, hunting, and the physical world. We learn that just like his father, Avraham, who experienced a famine in the land, Yitzchak also experienced a famine in the land. Unlike his father, Yitzchak does not go down to Egypt. Yitzchak remains, grows wealthy, and re-opens the wells that had gone dry in his father’s day. The narrative then re-focuses upon Yitzchak and his family. Yitzchak, sensing his imminent death, wants to bless Esav. Rivka overhears this and tells Yaakov to pose as Esav in order to receive the blessing. Yaakov listens to his mother and dresses as Esav. Yaakov receives Yitzchak’s blessing. As a result, Esav is fit to be tied and threatens to kill Yaakov.

            When Esav turned 40, he got married. As different as the boys were before this, Esav’s marriages reflect his further spiritual diminishment from his mother and father. Esav’s association with these women brings out the worst in him. Va’Yehi Eisav Ben Arbaim Shanah VaYikach Isha et Y’hudit Bat B’Eiri HaChiti V’et Basmat Bat Eilon Ha’Chiti – When Esav was forty years old, he took as a wife Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. Va’Tiheyenah Morat Ruach L’Yitzchak U’l’Rivkah – and they were a source of spiritual bitterness for Yitzchak and Rivka (Gen.26:24). There is a Midrash that tells us that once a species of bird migrated to Eretz Yisrael. The Rabbis were unable to determine whether this new species was kosher or treif. Rabbi Chiya, the leading scholar of his day, said, “Isolate one on the roof and see what kind of birds associate with it.” Immediately a raven (which is not kosher) joined the new bird. The Rabbis were able to finally determine that the new species of bird was not kosher. The same was true with regard to Esav when he married both women. They brought out the worst in him, whether it was Avodah Zarah – idolatry, or degrading himself to such a point that he did not warrant receiving the blessing. Of even greater concern to Rivkah and Yitzchak was the departure of the Divine Presence. Remember that when Yitzchak’s mother, Sarah, died, the light in her tent, the holy presence diminished. When Yitzchak married Rivka, the holy presence returned to Sarah’s tent. However, when Esav’s wives became part of Yitzchak’s household, this holy light was vanquished.

            So my kids discovered that terms like “Nationalist” and “Globalist” mean something to David Duke, Richard Spencer, White Nationalist, and the Alt-Right. My kids discovered you can learn a lot about a person by who gravitates towards that person. My kids discovered that you can learn a lot about a person by not only the words they use but how people respond to those words. Rose Mallinger was alive in February 1939 when the German American Bund Party filled Madison Square Garden for a political rally, and use those words and similar words to describe Jews. Nearly eighty years later those words and similar words have been used in arenas throughout the U.S.to stoke hate and fear. Unfortunately, my kids also learned the valuable lesson that leaders can and should be judged by the words they say, the company they keep, and who else may endorse and support those words.

           

Peace,

Rav Yitz

You Told Me Goodbye, How Was I To Know You Meant Please Don't Let Me Go (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "High Time")

My sister and I have friends in Squirrel Hill, a primarily Jewish neighborhood in Pittsburgh. My sister lived there for nearly ten years.  So my family and I listened for the names of those 11 souls that were murdered last Shabbat at the Tree of Life shul in the Squirrel Hill section of Pittsburgh. No, we didn’t know the 11 Jews, ages 56-97. However, these men, women, husbands, wives, brothers were also mothers, fathers, grandmothers, grandfathers,  great grandfathers, and great-grandmothers. Children, grandchildren and great children will be mourning the loss of these 11 souls.

This Week we read from Parsha Chayei Sarah. This Shabbat we read from Parsha Chayei Sarah, “the Life of Sara”. It is a rather odd name for a Parsha that discusses’ Sarah’s death, and Avraham’s funeral preparations including a eulogy, crying, and the purchase of land for burial. The focus then shifts from Sarah’s death and Avraham’s caring for her to Avraham’s son Yitzchak and getting on with his life. Avraham instructs his servant to find a wife for Yitzchak from among his ancestors. The servant head back to Avraham’s homeland, he asks’ God for a sign so that he knows which girl is the right one for his master’s son. He finds the girl, convinces her to return with him, the girl leaves home and heads back with the servant to meet her new husband and her father-in-law. They get married. Avraham takes a wife and lives quietly in retirement. The Parsha concludes with Avraham’s death and the death of his eldest son Ishmael.

Sandwiched between the deaths of Sarah, at the beginning of the Parsha, and Avraham Avinu, at the conclusion of the Parsha, we read about Yitzchak’s mourning the death of his mother. His Aveilut, mourning, comes at the time when he marries Rivkah. VaYavieha Yitzchak HaOhela Sarah Imo VaYiKach et Rivkah VaT’Hi Lo L’Isha VaYe’Ehaveha VaYinachem Yitzchak Acharei Imo – And Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother; he married Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her; and thus was Isaac consoled after his mother [‘s death] (Gen. 24:67. What is significant about the Torah telling us that he Yitzchak brought Rivka to his mother’s tent and not just telling us that Yitzchak married Rebecca, took her has his wife and loved her. Why does the verse begin with going into his mother’s tent and conclude with his being consoled about his mother’s death? Rashi, the 11th-century French commentator comments: As long as Sarah was alive, a lamp burned in her tent from one Sabbath eve to the next, her dough was blessed and a cloud signifying the Divine Presence hung over Sarah’s tent. When Sarah died, these blessings ceased, but when Rebecca entered the tent they resumed.

Last Shabbat, 11 lamps were extinguished, and as the children, grandchildren, and Jews of Pittsburgh begin sitting Shivah, the lights will remain extinguished. It must seem that the cloud signifying the Shechina, God’s Divine Presence, has abandoned these 11 souls. Yet we learn that Yitzchak found consolation in the support and love from his wife, Rebecca. Love, embodied in his wife; love provided Isaac consolation, allowed the lamp to be lit and remain lit from Shabbat to Shabbat. Love lights the darkness and love will help bring consolation to the children and grandchildren mourning the loss of parents, grandparents and great-grandparents in Pittsburgh. Love will allow the mourners and a community to sense that God’s presence embodied in the Divine Cloud never really left but remains a source of continued consolation and solidarity.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

I Got No Dime, But I Got Some Time To Hear His Story ( Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - " Wharf Rat")

Our eldest daughter had a big week in terms of her professional career. For the past 5/6 months, she served as the campaign manager for a woman running for re-election to the Virginia State legislature. Her candidate won in a landslide. This was the first political campaign for which she was in charge of the entire campaign. With that experience, comes the next campaign which inevitably becomes a bigger and more prestigious campaign. Winning a campaign, as she explained to me, is all about a narratives. First she needs to tell the candidates life narrative and the narrative should include events, and experiences that allow the candidate to connect to the narratives of the voters.  That leads to the second narrative, the candidate needs to listen to the narratives of the voters’ lives. Her candidate needed to hear about the struggles, and tsuris that they deal with in order to speak to it and perhaps even come up with a solution for that pain, tsuris and hardship. The third narrative, is the integration of these two different narratives into a coherent messages that allows the candidate and voter to connect.  When I ask her about transmitting the narrative and what is the most powerful way of transmitting these narratives, it’s not Facebook, Twitter, digital media, print ads. Certainly all those modes of transmitting a narrative are helpful but nothing is more helpful than knocking on the door and talking to people face to face.

This week's Parsha is Chayei Sarah. The Parsha begins with the recounting the years of Sarah's life, Avraham's mourning for his wife, purchasing the land for Sarah's burial and then burying her. Avraham then tells his servant that he does not want his son, Yitzchak, marrying a Canaanite woman. Instead, the servant must return to Avraham's hometown and look for a woman from Avraham's family/ tribe. Avraham explains that the girl that returns with the servant is the right girl. Armed with treasures, camels and plenty of wealth for a dowry the servant sets off and decides that the best place to find a girl is by the local well. There the servant decides that the "right" girl is the girl who would offer him water, as well as offer water to his camels. Sure enough, Rebecca arrives at the well and fulfills the servant's standard. The servant returns with Rebecca to her family, convinces the family to let her go, and Rebecca is asked if she wants to return with the servant. Rebecca unhesitatingly responds with a yes. Now Rebecca has fulfilled the servant's requirement as well as Avraham's requirement. Upon her arrival at her new home, she sees her betrothed, and, not knowing who he was, asked the servant. The servant told her and she covered herself. Rebecca and Yitzchak are married. The Parsha concludes with Yitzchak and Ishmael burying their father, and the genealogy of Ishmael's family.

Three different times and in three different contexts we read about a father’s desire to find a wife for his son and then we read about that desire being fulfilled.  First, Avraham tells his servant Eliezer to swear an oath to find a wife for Yitzchak. Then we read about Eliezer actually finding the future wife for his master’s son, Yitzchak. Finally we read about Eliezer’s transmitting the first two narratives to the future bride’s family since they are about to be impacted by both Avraham’s desire for his son to find a wife and their daughter’s decision to become that wife. Each narrative contains numerous details and descriptions. Yet the narrative that immediately preceded this week’s Parsha, the narrative that Jewish tradition points to as the foundational essence of a people’s relationship to God, the Akedah, and the Binding of Isaac is scant nineteen verses and numerous details aren’t even included. In this one long narrative divided into three subsections, we are told of specific conversations, prayers, jewelry as well as gifts for Rebecca’s family.  Why does the Torah tell the story of how a couple met in three different ways, the third being a recapitulation of previous events by the servant. The only other time we read of a detailed recapitulation of a narrative is when Moshe speaks to B’nai Yisroel when they are on the eastern bank of the Jordan River and preparing to enter into Eretz Canaan. The RaDaK (Rabbi David Kimchi- Provence, France 1160-1235) explains that Eliezer’s recapitulation serves to placate Rebecca and her family. Avraham’s servant speaks candidly and enthusiastically of his master and his master’s household. Eliezer’s re-capitulation hints at the Avraham’s character as well as the very unique covenant established between him and God. Only by transmitting this message, this story in a face to face manner, Rebecca’s family understands the significance and the necessity of Rebecca leaving her family of origin for her future with Yitzchak.

Creating a narrative is important for individuals and for nations. However, it is the way in which that narrative gets transmitted which allows members of a family, a people, voters, citizens and members of a specific community to connect to a shared common past and experience. The means by which a narrative is transmitted will affect the way in which people connect with each other and its leadership. Just ask our daughter, she transmits narratives in order for people to serve their constituency and their community.  The real question becomes how do we transmit the values embodied in the narratives of our lives and our families and our traditions to the next generation?

Peace,

Rav Yitz