If Mercy's In Business, I Wish It For Your (Robert Hunter & Mickey Hart- "Fire On The Mountain")

           With my wife visiting our son in Israel during the Christmas and New Year’s vacation, I decided to pay a visit to my parents. During dinner with my parents, they both became incredibly serious. It was the kind of serious where I was awaiting for one of them to tell me some dreadful news. Apparently, they had the same talk with my younger sister last week.  Thankfully, the news wasn’t dreadful but the subject matter was rather troubling. My parents have aged a lot and I think the fact that they both had Covid this past summer has given them a powerful concern about their own mortality. So, during dinner, my parents expressed their concerns about aging, their own health, and their anticipated deterioration of health. Both talked about their desire to remain in their home for as long as they were physically and mentally capable. Both shared their concerns regarding what “measures” to take during the coming years if, in fact, health deteriorates rapidly. They both understood that in the coming years, my sister and I would be much more involved in making decisions for them or with them, decisions that will affect them. They were anxious, nervous, and needed peace of mind as they head into their very golden years together. So I listened, I smiled and I told them that my sister and I will do everything we can to respect their wishes. 

             This morning we read from Parsha Vayechi. This is the final Parsha in the book of Breishit. T Parsha begins with Yaakov calling Yosef and making him swear an oath that he will not be buried in Egypt. He also blesses his grandsons Ephraim and Menashe. He gathers his sons together and offers each son a blessing or a prophecy. Yaakov dies and his sons take him out of Egypt and fulfill their vow. They bury their father in Heron alongside Avraham and Yitzchak and Sarah Rebecca and Leah. Afterward, the brothers fear that Yosef will finally take vengeance for their mistreatment of him. Yosef doesn’t, and the brothers and their families continue to grow and prosper in Goshen. As Yosef prepares for his death, he makes his brother's vow to take his bones out of Egypt and bury his bones in Eretz Canaan. 

Yaakov’s final wish is to be buried in Canaan, in the Caves of the Machpela with his ancestors, Avraham/Sarah, Yitzchak/Rivka, and his wife Leah. Yaakov shares this wish with Yosef. Given his position within Egypt, Yosef would be the most likely of the sons who could arrange to fulfill Yaakov’s wish. After sharing his final wish with his beloved son Yosef; Yaakov asks Yosef to swear to him that he will carry out this final wish. To demonstrate one’s “swearing a vow,” Yaakov tells Yosef: Im Nah Matzati Chein M’Einecha If now I have found grace in your eyes Sim Nah Yadcha Tachat Yereichi put, I pray of you, your hand beneath my thigh v’Asita Imadi Chesed v’Emet –, and deal kindly and truthfully with me. However, Yosef does not do as his father asks; Yosef does not put his hand beneath his father’s thigh as an indication of swearing an oath. Rather, Vayomer [Yosef] said, Anochi Eseh Chidvarecha – I personally will do as you said. Yaakov, sensing his son’s hesitation, asks Yosef to swear that he will fulfill the request. Finally, Yosef acquiesces and swears an oath to fulfill his father’s request.

          Why does Yosef hesitate? The text clearly conveys that Yosef did not make a “vow” to Yaakov when first asked. Yosef did not immediately put his hand beneath his father’s thigh as an indication of making a vow.  Yosef did not immediately say “I swear to bury you with your ancestors”.  Why doesn’t Yaakov’s favorite son, Joseph,  swear this last dying favor to his father? What kind of son doesn’t swear an oath if asked by his dying father to do so if it means peace of mind and a soul at peace for his father?  Yosef’s first answer indicates that he will look after the request personally. Midrash explains the difference between Avraham’s servant’s behavior and Yosef’s behavior: HaEved Asa K’Avadoto Uven Chorin Asah K’Chiruto – Rabbi Yitzchak said: The servant acted like a servant and the free man acted as a free man, The servant acted like a servant, as it says ‘And the servant put his hand beneath his [Avraham’s] thigh; While the freeman acted as a free person: ‘And he said, I will do as you said’’ As a free individual, Yosef is only bound by his conscience. He is free to question. The servant, on the other hand, has no such ability. He is bound to fulfill his obligations whether forced or unforced. The Malbim, the 17th-century commentator explains that Yosef was acting as a son should. Yosef was trying to act out of filial responsibility, based upon his own free will rather than a servant who is bound by oaths. 

          There are moments when one’s own volition is not enough to fulfill a final wish. Yaakov makes Yosef swear the oath because he wants Yosef to acknowledge an authority greater than his own. He also wants Yosef to acknowledge an authority greater than Pharaoh. Yaakov wanted Yosef to be completely powerless and act solely on behalf of his father. Under normal circumstances, according to ChaZaL – our Talmudic sages of Blessed Memory, the acceptance of the Torah and its commandments are an acknowledgment and acceptance of an external authority greater than ourselves. Intrinsic to that acceptance is a humbling awareness that we are not all that powerful or in control of every aspect of life.  Of course, my sister and I will do everything we can to respect our parents' wishes as they enter these upcoming years.  As my parents spoke to me, and I listened, I only had one thought. After all the sacrifices my parents have made in helping me to become the best possible version of me, how could I not honor their request and do everything I can to make their golden years together as golden and as dignified as possible?  

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Don't Worry About Tomorrow, Lord, You'll Know It When It Comes - (Bob Weir - "One More Saturday Night")

           Well, it was election night in the United States. As I did some work, the news of the mid-term elections and the future of democracy in the United States provided background noise.  However, as the night wore on, I found myself listening for the results of the candidates that my daughter’s labor union supported.  Before the polls opened I had texted her, wishing her luck, and asking her about her chances of success. I wasn’t just interested politically, nor was I interested in the labor union. However,  I was genuinely nervous for my daughter who has worked so hard on behalf of her constituency. Like a typical parent, I was worried about my daughter. I wanted her to be successful in her goal of getting those candidates that her Union supported, elected to office. However as the hours passed, the polls closed, and the results tabulated late into the night, I realized how much anxiety I had spent worrying about our daughter’s being successful in her job, a job in which success is easily evaluated. Did the candidates win or lose? Sure, I understand worrying about one’s children when they are younger and living at home. The parent perceives a sense of control and perceives the possibility of "fixing" the problem. However, my daughter is a grown woman, in her thirties, an adult. As the night wore on, I realize how little or no control, and much less able to help than I did when she was younger and living at home.

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha VaYeira. The narrative and adventures of Avraham the Patriarch continue. While healing from his ritual circumcision, he fulfills the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim, hospitality. He negotiates with God and reduces the number of righteous people that must be found in Sodom and Gemorrah in order to prevent its destruction. The narrative of Avraham is interrupted as we read the narrative of Lot, the two Angels (the same two that had visited Avraham at the beginning of the Parsha), the destruction of the city, and the impure relationship that results when the survivors think that world has been destroyed. The narrative returns to Avraham as its focus and he and his wife Sarah give birth to a son (Yitzchak), the banishment of Hagar and Ishmael (Avraham’s first-born son and from his concubine) and the final test of his belief, the Akeidat Yitzchak – the Offering of Isaac.

          Throughout the Parsha, there are several examples of “questionable” parenting moments as well as “child-ing” moments. These moments include Lot offering his daughters to the mob of Sodom and Gemorrah in order to save the guests that the mob wanted to harm. The daughters don’t say a word about it. These moments include Ishmael, being sent away along with his mother. As Ishmael lies dying of thirst, Hagar leaves him so that she doesn’t have to hear him whine and walks out of earshot. God hears Ishmael’s prayer and saves him due to his merit. However nowhere do we read that Ishmael tells his mom to stay with him so he shouldn’t be alone. Finally, we read of the Akedah Yitzchak, the offering of Isaac as a test of Avraham’s faith in God. In the text, we read that Yitzchak asks Avraham about the offering, Ayeh  HaSeh L’Olah – Where is the lamb for the offering? (Gen 22:7)  From this question the Midrash Tanchuma shows an Avraham that was unsteady, shaky, and nervous about making the offering. The Midrash portrays Avraham in a much more human and troubled manner. He worried about his son’s welfare, he worried about Yitzchak. Yitzchak offers him support and strength and tries to mitigate his father’s anxiety. Yitzchak tells him not to worry and that Yitzchak will do everything he can to help his father.

          When our children are younger and we worry about them, we still have more control to “fix” the problem. Whether we fix it or not, the only thing our children can do is thank us.  However, when our children are older and we have little or no control over “fixing” the problem, it is up to our children to ease our anxiety, to tell us that “it will be OK,” “not to worry” or “I can handle it”. Then we realize that all the hard work of raising them, all the worrying as they grew up wasn’t a waste because they really can handle life.  No, I don’t stop worrying about our kids as they grow older. Rather the test is that as they grow up and mature they are able to ease my anxiety and concern by the effort they exert in striving towards their goals.

Peace,
Rav Yitz 

But The Heart Has Its Seasons And Evenings And Songs Of Its Own (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia- "Eyes of the World")

           We just celebrated my father’s 81st birthday. As his children and grandchildren have watched him age, we are all very aware that he is just a little frailer, a little more fatigued, with a few more aches and pains than he used to have. It is part of growing old. Unlike twenty years ago, or even ten years ago, I am also becoming more aware of my aging father’s mortality. I call him more often, and I make more of an effort to visit. This awareness of our own mortal temporary existence is one of the themes of Sukkot and its corresponding text, Sefer Kohelet the book of Ecclesiastes. We read it in its entirety once a year on Shabbat Chol HaMoed Sukkot, the Intermediate Sabbath of Sukkot. According to the tradition, Shlomo HaMelech, King Solomon, towards the end of his life, wrote this Megillah, this scroll. Tradition has this perspective because the language is not one of optimism but rather realism. This is a person who has “seen it all” – Ein Kol Chadash Tachat HaShemesh – There is nothing new under the sun! And yet there is a certain harsh realism and a certain sense of harsh optimism. The author provides us with a no holds barred sense of comfort. He does not coddle us. He does not baby us. Rather the author shoves our faces in this “reality” and gives us a perspective on how to deal with a world that is not as wonderful a place as we might have thought of in our youth, or even a few weeks ago. The question that so many of our sages have asked, is why is such a text, a text that does not offer such explicit hope, a text that does not offer explicit comfort, and is universally recognized as a “downer” of a text, why is such a text read on the holiday that is commonly regarded as Zman Simchateinu – the time of our joy?

        In Eretz Yisroel, the Autumn Harvest is complete. In North America, the summer harvest has been completed as well. We unabashedly celebrate our joy on a physical level because of a successful harvest. We also unabashedly celebrate our joy for having been judged favorably by God, (Rosh HaShanah), and having been the recipients of God’s mercy (Yom Kippur). On Sukkot, we are commanded to Samachta b’Chagecha – celebrate in your holiday. Yet this text tempers our celebration. While the nature of the Sukkot holiday is to celebrate our unrestrained joy in receiving God’s blessing, we also know that very often it is human nature to forget God and celebrate our achievements and ourselves. Kohelet reminds us that, like the fragile nature of the Sukkah itself, not everything is as much in our control as we think. V’Zerach HaShemesh U’Vah HaShemesh – the sun rises and the sun sets- no matter what we do, no matter how much control we may perceive that we have, at the end of the day, we are ultimately powerless. God is the ultimate cause of all things. The sun rises and sets because of God, not mankind. Kohelet helps us maintain our perspective. Kohelet reminds us that we are not the center of the world. Kohelet reminds us that for all the physical pleasures we seek, for all the material comforts we work hard to afford, such things are fleeting.

        So how can such a text offer us comfort? Well if we have the perspective of Kohelet, then we can understand how an elderly person, who has seen everything: man’s goodness, man’s evil, the joy of life, and the futility of life, offers us comfort.  With control comes responsibility. With power comes responsibility. Kohelet teaches us that we should celebrate the fact that we have so little control. Kohelet teaches us that we should derive joy from the fact that we don’t need to worry about the sunrise or the sunset. We shouldn’t be so terribly joyous when life comes into the world or upset when life leaves the world. Intellectually speaking, life and death is not within our control. Living our life is within our control. Living the best possible life is within our control. Living a life that has spiritual meaning and the acquisition of wisdom is the crux of our existence, the purpose for our living. Struggling to acquire anything else is futile. Torah is the embodiment of Wisdom. Sof Davar Ha’Kol Nishmah et Ha’Elohim Y’rah v’Et Mitzvotav Shmor  Ki Zeh Kol HaYamim- The sum of the matter, when all has been considered: Fear God and keep his Commandments, for that is man’s whole duty. By doing so, we don’t need to worry about another Judgment on Rosh HaShanah; we don’t need to worry about God’s showing us mercy on Yom Kippur. We will have guaranteed that we have done everything in our control to make our lives meaningful. The joy in our celebration is the joy in our opportunity to acquire wisdom and internalize it.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Hearts Of Summer Held In Trust, Still Tender Young And Green (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Days Between")

           The Jewish world is a small world, so we were not surprised that our daughter and my wife’s cousin s who live in Teaneck knew the 19-year-old Teaneck,  New Jersey boy who died on LaG B’OMer at Mt. Meron, Israel.  Along with our daughter, we were among the 70,000 people that watched the Livestream of the funeral.  I saw two parents, broken, and shattered. I listened as the mother of the 19-year-old boy began to speak. It was completely heartbreaking and I could only watch for a few minutes. Through her sobs and heavy breathing, I listened to the mother say words like “gratitude”,  and “thanks”. I heard her invoke God. I listened as she told us about her son. There was no anger in her voice;  instead just a profound sense of grief and loss. Her words didn’t reflect a crisis of faith nor a lack of “trust in God’s Plan”.    

          Parsha Behar and Parsha Bechukotai. These are the last two Parshiot in Sefer Vayikrah (Book of Leviticus). Throughout the entire book, we have read how to elevate our lives with holiness. We elevate our lives by thanking God and atoning to God, through a variety of Korbonot. We elevate our lives by avoiding behavior that defiles us; we don’t marry our sisters. We elevate our lives in every day physical behaviors; we only eat certain types of food. We elevate our lives by consciously setting aside holy times throughout the day, week, and season. In Parsha Behar, we elevate our lives and our land with holiness by setting aside another type of sacred time, Shmita (the seventh year.) Just like the seventh day (Shabbat) is a day of rest. Shmita is a year of rest. Every seventh year, all outstanding debts are canceled. The land lies fallow. Slaves and servants are set free. Agriculturally speaking, there is a benefit. Resting the soil for a year allows for replenishment of nutrients. Rabbinically speaking, less time devoted to agricultural concerns meant more time devoted to Torah study! Parsha Bechukotai, being the end of Leviticus, tells us the ramifications for behavior. “If you’ll keep the commandments… then I’ll send the rains in their time, the earth and trees will give forth their produce, you’ll settle securely in the land…I will multiply you…I will walk with you” (Lev. 25:3-10). If we don’t live up to these standards, if we neglect to add Kedushah (holiness) to our lives, if we “don’t perform these commandments, if we consider these decrees loathsome, if we reject these ordinances, if we annul the covenant, then I will do the same to you…. (Lev. 26:14:17) God will annul us. All blessings will become curses.

          While the curses in the Torah portion don’t paint a very pleasant picture, both parshiot reflect the vital importance of Bitachon, trust in God. In Behar, this idea of Bitachon is evident in the commandments of Shmitta (the 7-year agricultural cycle) and Yovel (Jubilee). In the Jubilee year, all debts are canceled, and there is a quasi-national “reboot”. While it may sound nice for those of us with credit card debt, consider the turmoil. The economy would grind to a halt in the months or perhaps in a year or two before the 50th year. What lender would lend knowing that the loan would be canceled within  6 -12 months.  In the Shmitta year, the land lies fallow. We all agree that the field needs a rest, a Shabbat, just like we do. If the field lies fallow, what would people eat? We are urged to trust God. “I will command my blessing upon the sixth year and it will bring forth (enough) produce for three years (Lev. 25:20-21). Just like God provided a double portion of Manna on Friday and thereby guarantee enough food for Shabbat, so too God will “guarantee enough produce in the sixth year. B’nai Yisroel won’t starve in the seventh (Shmita) year.

          Our sixteen-year-old asked me about the mother's words. I explained that I would be far too angry to speak as the mother spoke.  I would have needed more time without thousands of people, to move from anger to grief. Our son then asked me about whether my trust and faith in God would have been affected. Maybe it is easier to have Bitachon, to have trust and faith in God when it comes to large “macro” issues such as rain in the rainy season and dry in the season. Maybe it's easier to have Bitachon -trust, to have trust and faith that a 50-year “reboot” or “re-do” won’t turn people's lives and an economy upside down. Maybe it's easier to have faith and trust in something that is more emotionally distant in an “idea” or in the metaphysical. When my son asked me whether I would have questioned my faith and trust in God. I answered immediately and without hesitation. Yes, a tragedy like this would test my faith, and my trust in God would have waned. I think that it would be a long time before I could trust in God again and have my faith restored. Yes, I could understand the parents speak about the wonderful qualities of their 19-year-old son. I understood why they focused on his “living”, and the things he did over the course of his short 19 years of life. Yes, I could understand it, but I don’t think that I would be able to speak of it nor share it, not yet, not until the shock and anger subsided.

Peace
Rav Yitz 

You Can Trade Your Soul For An Electric Guitar (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Heaven Help The Fool")

Since last Sunday was particularly quiet, I took a drive and spent the day with my parents. I played some golf with my father, sat by the pool with my mother. When we talk, the subject matter is generally the same thing. My parents spend a lot of time talking to me about our four children: how they have matured, the kind of people they are, their plans, and then, like all Jewish grandparents; they “kvell” (take great joy praising how wonderful their grandchildren are). The next subject is their health. I listen as they share with me their aches and pains and their upcoming doctors' appointments. Often times we discuss Judaism and their Torah classes, and the myriad of questions they may have. Frequently, we discuss the news including politics, Supreme Court decisions and Israel. However, when the news is overly depressing, my parents will discuss sports. After everything that has been going on in Washington DC this past week, my parents and I discussed sports. It was a particularly uninspired week that even my mother joined in our discussion on sports. Thankfully, at this time of year, any discussion centered on sports usually focuses on baseball, free agents, and the trade deadline. We prognosticate as to what our favorite team will do in order to put themselves in the best possible position to win the World Series. During our discussions, my parents and I are always amazed at how a change of environment can truly affect a player’s outlook and performance. Whether it is the organization, the stadium, the fans, the fact that the player has a chance to play in the postseason, or just knowing that they are now playing for a team that wants them; we are always amazed how much better that player performs.

This Shabbat is we read Parsha Balak. In the Parsha, we read an interesting narrative that is filled with suspense, humor, intrigue, an apparent “midseason trade” and even a happy ending. It is interesting to note that throughout the Parsha, the focus is upon the outside world as it relates to the B’nai Yisroel. That is to say, Balak, the king of Moab and the tribe of Midian are the subjects of the Parsha. B’nai Yisroel hovers as the main reason for why the narrative is pertinent; however for once, Bnai Yisroel is not doing something wrong, they are not recipients of God’s anger. Instead, they placidly and temporarily settled on the plains of Moab waiting to enter into Eretz Canaan. Not until the end of the Parsha and only after the narrative of Balak and Bilaam concluded, does the Torah return to a narrative style with Bnai Yisroel as the subject of poor behavior and God’s anger. 

            Bilaam, a soothsayer is hired by Balak to curse Bnai Yisroel. By cursing Bnai Yisroel, Balak believed that this was the only way to defeat Bnai Yisroel since they had successfully waged war on all the indigenous tribes thus far. The donkey that Bilaam rides upon on his way to cursing Bnai Yisroel refuses to respond to Bilaam, Bilaam grows angrier and angrier. The donkey is able to see an Angel of God in the road and Bilaam the soothsayer cannot. So a humorous conversation between Donkey and Soothsayer occurs (this is the funny part). Bilaam eventually realizes that he is unable to curse B’nai Yisroel. Finally, when he is looking from the hills down upon B’nai Yisroel and sees a peaceful, God-fearing community he utters praise instead of curses.   Imagine Balak’s anger and frustration? He hires Bilaam to curse B’nai Yisroel; instead, he blesses B’nai Yisroel! Vayomer Balak El Bilaam Meh Asita Li Lakov Oyvai L’Kachticha V’Hinei

Beirachta Vareich – Balak said to Bilaam, “What have you done to me! To curse my enemy have I brought you – but behold, you have even blessed!” (Num. 23:11) Balak’s frustration is something we can all understand. He believed that Bilaam, a powerful soothsayer/prophet was capable of communing with God and deriving the appropriate sign in order to curse Bnai Yisroel. Bilaam’s response is quite revealing: Halo Eit Asher Yasim HaShem B’Fi Oto Eshmor L’Daber! Is it not so that whatever Hashem puts in my mouth, that I must take heed to speak! Essentially Bilaam explains that he can only say what God would have said. If Balak could have traded Bilaam for another soothsayer, he probably would have.

As awful a person as Balak is, and as mercenary a person Bilaam is, we can learn a lot from the exchange of both men.  Balak hired the soothsayer to do a job for which Bilaam was renowned for doing. Bilaam did not live up to his reputation.  Had Balak issued a curse himself, even if it failed, at least he would have felt empowered.  For Bilaam, at least for that moment, he turned inwards, listened to his soul, listened to the donkey, listened to God and his entire attitude changed. At least for the moment, this mercenary soothsayer offered only blessings to the Jewish people. The fact of the matter is that we need to turn inwards, towards our soul. There, in our own soul, we will find holiness. The funny thing about the trade deadline, sometimes it is the trades that don’t get made turn out to be the best.  Rather than trading for another player –looking outwards; teams decide to stick with the personnel that they have and commit to playing better, commit to exerting greater effort, working harder. They look inward and renew a sense of commitment and purpose. 

                Peace,                   

Rav Yitz 

Saw A Bird With A Tear In His Eye Walking To New Orleans My Oh My (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Liberty")

This has been an unusually crazy, anxiety ridden week. In the macro sense, there has been an election. As painful, as frequently embarrassing that the campaign has been, the President elect has merely taken the first step, the first step of governing a highly divided, suspicious and angry people with very deep divisions in terms of social values, economic values, and vision for the country. In the micro sense, my father had knee replacement surgery late last week, however there have been several complications (nothing to do with his new knee) that have forced him back into the hospital. Interestingly enough my father voted prior to this knee replacement surgery, however my mother had to leave her husband’s side and run out and vote. My father had anticipated that a week after the surgery, he would be standing, and even taking a few steps. Instead he is lying in bed, dealing with several a post-operative complications that has made the recovery, that much slower and that much more difficult. In both situations, a country and an individual, it seems that both will have to learn to walk again.

This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Eventually, Abram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. Lot, Abram's nephew, and Abram decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of traveling.

            The Zohar, the rabbinic book of mysticism, comments upon the first verse "Lech Lecha Mei'Artzecha uMimoladtcha, U'mibeit Avicha El Ha'Aretz Acher Areka- Go for yourself from your land, from your relatives, and from your father's house to the land that I will show you (Gen 12:1). Instead of a physical journey, the Zohar explains that Abram was commanded to embark upon a spiritual journey. The soul, while residing in the World to Come, exists in close proximity to God. Because of the spiritual clarity and intensity revealed there, no free will and no chance for spiritual growth and advancement can occur. Like the angels, the soul in the World to Come is called an Omaid, a standee. In this World however, we know that a person has Free Will. This means that we all have the opportunity to advance spiritually as long as we remain in this World. The soul in this world is call a Holiach, a walker, someone who goes, much like Abram went.

            Like Abram, we are all commanded to Lech Lecha. Abram walked and traveled, and so did Lot. Yet Abram epitomized the individual who retained his integrity and ideals despite the difficulties of life, and despite the growing cynicism brought on by age. Abram managed to remember that God is the end and everything else is merely a means to that end. However all the wealth and all the prosperity are not ends in and of itself. We are all commanded to leave our homes, our birthplaces and face the world. We are all commanded to face the challenges of this World and retain our integrity, our ideals and our sense of purpose. That goes for individuals who have to learn to walk following knee replacement surgery as well as entire nations who have to learn to walk together under the new leadership of a President-Elect. The challenge is to enter the physical and material world and retain the priorities consistent with the world from where our Neshamah, our soul came, the spiritual world. For my father, he will have to keep his goals for recovery squarely before him, maintain his sense of humor and do the work. For the United States, it will require an inspired inclusive vision embodying the Constitution with a goal towards a future so that no one is left behind.

 Peace,

  Yitz

Only If You Let Me Be Your World; Could I Ever Give This World To You (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "If I Had The World To Give")

Thanksgiving with my family is always an interesting time. My sister and I revert to being children of 11 and 8 years of age.  My parents revert back to being parents of an 11 year old and an 8 year old.  Old emotional scars get scratched a bit, and we seem to walk on eggshells as we try to avoid confrontation. That being said, our children have a great time seeing their grandparents, and we all enjoy the meal. This year’s Thanksgiving was a bit different.  My parents recently celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary. However it coincided with my grandfather’s rapid deterioration and recent death in August. Originally they had planned a party during the Thanksgiving weekend. However the plan changed, and my mother wanted to have a 50^th re-wedding. So my mother put on a lovely dress and my father put on his tuxedo. Our son walked his grandmother down the aisle; grown up children held the Talis as a Chuppah; and younger granddaughters were bridesmaids and flower girls. I performed the ceremony. As I spoke and I watch my mother and father standing there, beaming at each other and looking at their children and grandchildren; I was struck by what they had built. Typically in a Jewish Wedding, the Mesader Kiddushin (the person conducting the ceremony) speaks of a Bayit Neeman – a House of Faith. While my parents are hardly the most ritually observant; as they stood before me, I understood what a Bayit Neeman means and the effort required to build one.

This week we read from Parsha VaYishlach. We read Yaakov’s preparation for the reunion with his brother Esav. We read about Yaakov’s wrestling match. We read about Yaakov and Esav’s reunion. We read about Yaakov’s daughter Dina and her unholy tryst with Shechem a member of the Hivvites. We learn of what many consider to be the fanatical response on behalf of her brother Shimon and Levi. Yaakov returns to Bet El, the place where he dreamt of the ladder many years before, builds and altar, and receives the covenant from God. During that process, God changes his name from Yaakov to Yisroel. And while we read about the name change at the very beginning of the Parsha, that name change was given by another being (Gen. 32:29). Rachel dies as well as a wet nurse named Deborah. Finally we read a list of Yaakov’s children as well as Esav’s descendants and the princes of Edom.

                After the unfortunate episode with Yaakov’s daughter, Dina, a new phase of Yaakov’s life is set to begin. VaYomer Elokim El Yaakov Kum Alei Beit El V’Shev Sham V’Asei Sham Mizbeach La’Eil HaNireh Eilechah B’Varchacha Mipnei Esav Achicah- God said to Jacob, “arise go up to Beth El and swell there, and make an altar there to God Who appeared to you when you fled from Esau your brother (Gen. 35:1) God wants Yaakov to settle at Bet El, the place where Yaakov first made the vow that he would enter into a relationship with God upon his return to his father’s house. God wants Yaakov to settle in Beit El, the same place where Yaakov dreamt of the ladder twenty years before. God wants Yaakov to settle in Beit El, with his wives and children and build his home in the same place he spent his first night away from his parents and his home while fleeing Esau.  So, Yaakov gets rid of his wives amulets and small idols and VaYiven Sham Mizbeiach VaYikra LaMakom Eil Beit El – so Yaakov builds and Altar and names it El Beit El  {God House of God} (Gen. 35:6).  Although Yaakov named the place Beit El nearly twenty years before, Yaakov recognizes that the context of his life has changed. He has wives and children, and as a result, the context of the relationship has changed. It is not enough for Yaakov to have a relationship with God and invoke God’s protection for himself. He now has a family that needs protection. The work that Yaakov needed to do for the relationship has increased as he and his family all need to work at the relationship with God in order to insure God’s divine protection. The hard work will require sacrifice.

The hard work of a marriage also requires sacrifice. Both have to give to the other and both have to be willing to build something bigger them just themselves. A Bayit Neeman – a house of faith is predicated upon the idea that the marriage, the home possesses, within it, aspects of holiness. The relationship is not only about economic and social benefit, but there is an aspect of Holiness. Having children and raising children is not just something that is done nor is it about making sure that they attend Harvard or Yale and make hundreds of thousands of dollars so that parents can brag. Raising a family is infused with holiness when those children and their children’s children understand that they are part of a Godly covenant and legacy.  While watching my mother and father stand before me during their “Re-Wedding”, it became clear that it took at least fifty years for them to build a Bayit Neeman, and know that their House of Faith, can withstand the test of time and life.

Peace,
Rav Yitz