You Gave All You Had, Why You Want To Give More? (Robert Hunter & Mickey Hart - "Fire On The Mountain")

One of the experiences that we have had while living in Toronto has been the fact that frequently my children tend to be the “United States Expert” among their friends. Whenever something odd happens in the United States, my kids will generally have to answer for it.  If the President does something, or Congress does something or if the Federal Reserve does something, or if Mylie Cyrus does something; my children will be asked to offer their opinion. Sometimes this happens in formal settings such as a classroom with a teacher present and sometimes it happens informally while they are playing or talking with friends. Recently my children have had to take a crash course on Legislative Procedure and Congressional Party Politics as they have had to explain the United States government shutdown and the impending Debt Ceiling Crisis that could invariably affect the world economy. This can be pretty complex and heady stuff for a fourth grader, a sixth grader and an eighth grader.  I have tried to present a non partisan explanation that is simple enough for my kids to understand and to repeat in a classroom or to their friends without making the United States look ridiculous to Canadians. This by the way is no easy task. During the course of my explanation our sixth grader offered a terrific solution to what appears to be an insurmountable problem in Washington D.C. She very calmly identified the problem. From her perspective, it appears that one side can’t find someone on the other side to talk to, someone who is willing to listen and figure out a compromise. She suggested that the President invites some of the leaders of the other side to have an informal casual dinner where they try to solve the problems instead of blaming each other for why they arrived at the problem. Hachnasat Orchim is a fundamental and one of the most essential values of Jewish Life. We learn from the Talmud in Tractate Shabbat: “To extend hospitality is loftier than to greet the Divine Presence!”

This week’s Parsha is Vayeira. The narrative and adventures of Avraham the Patriarch continue. While healing from his ritual circumcision, he fulfills the mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim, hospitality. He negotiates with God and reduces the number of righteous people that must be found in S’dom and Amorrah in order to prevent its destruction. The narrative of Avraham is interrupted as we read the narrative of Lot, the two Angels (the same two that had visited Avraham at the beginning of the parsha), the destruction of the city, and the impure relationship that results when the survivors think that world has been destroyed. The narrative returns to Avraham as its focus and he and his wife Sarah give birth to a son (Yitzchak), the banishment of Hagar and Ishmael (Avraham’s first born son and his concubine) and the final test of his belief, the Akeidat Yitzchak – the Offering of Isaac.

Avraham’s formidable spiritual character is evident at the very beginning of the Parsha. At the ripe old age of 99, Avraham just circumcised himself at the ripe old age of 99. The Parsha begins with Avraham’s recuperation from surgery. “V’hu Yoshev Petach Ha’Ohel K’Chom HaYom.- He sat in the tent door in the heat of the day” (18:1). Rashi, the medieval northern French commentator, explains why a 99 year old man would be sitting at the opening of his tent (petach ha’ohel) while still recovering from surgery. Lirot Im Yesh Oveir v’Shav v’Yachnisem b’Veito- Avraham sat in his tent’s opening to see if there were passersby, whom he could take into his home.  Other medieval commentators make it abundantly clear that Avraham was as hospitable as possible. For fear that Avraham could be criticized for not inviting his three guests to stay and spend the evening; we are told that this visit took place at mid day. The only appropriate display of hospitality during the middle of the day was to wash the dust of his guests and prepare a feast. So Avraham did. Yet he did so without any sense of ego. Instead he performed this act of kindness in the most selfless manner. Avraham’s name is not mentioned until the 6^th verse of the Parshah (Gen18:6). The first five verses only refer to Avraham in a pronoun form. 

What do we learn that Avraham fulfills this mitzvah in a nameless fashion? We learn that the highest level of hospitality requires us to forsake our own ego. Extending hospitality is not for our benefit. Hospitality is a selfless act; not a selfish one. Ironically, engaging in this selfless act leads to our enrichment. We are better off having done it. Hachnasat Orchim allows us to express our humanity, and our sense of concern the other, the guest, the newcomer. Hachnasat Orchim, in a sense, is the foundation for a warm caring community. Also for Hachnasat Orchim to truly be expressed it can only be done selflessly without concern for a "thank you’s", or any possible reward. By expecting nothing in return for fulfillment of a Mitzvah, we learn that we are engaged in the mitzvah for the sake of the mitzvah and to take a closer step towards God.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

So Many Roads I Know All I Want Is One To Take Me Home (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "So Many Roads)

          Our nine year old son has been a source of aggravation over the past week.  Granted, our son had his first full week of school last week. With the Holidays behind us, he was rudely reminded that school involves five days a week, homework, studying, and taking tests.  This week, our son had a test that encompassed a lot of material.  In his mind, “homework” and “test preparation” are two very separate and distinct concepts. As a result, when his mother asks, “did you finish your homework?” His response will be based only upon the actual task assigned for that particular day. He still has no understanding that homework assignment may be due in two or three days but it is still considered homework.  Unfortunately, he still gets surprised when he arrives in school slightly less than prepared for a quiz or a small test due to his lack of studying.  So the other day, I asked if he completed his homework. “Yes” he said. I reminded him “homework” includes “studying for test”.  He hemmed, he hawed, he rolled his eyes, and he whined “But Abba…” I cut him off quickly and sarcastically. I told him that I already finished fourth grade so I do not need to study for his test or take his test. I explained that when I inquire about his preparing for a test it is not for me but for him.

This week's Parsha is Lech Lecha. In it, God commands Abram to leave his father, his homeland and everything he has ever known and go to a place where God will show him later. Abram does. He heads down towards Egypt because of a famine. Avram leaves Egypt with money, flocks, servants, and wealth. He and his nephew decide to part ways since each their respective flocks not only become intermingled but their hired hands fight among each other. Abram then fights against several kings in an attempt to protect Lot. Then his wife Sarai, who is barren, tells Abram to make Hagar (the maidservant) the surrogate mother. Abram listens and Hagar has a son named Ishmael. She runs away and then returns. God tells Abram a prophecy. Abram will become the father of a great nation, and that nation will become enslaved for several centuries and then will return to the land that God promised Abram. Then God instructs Abram to circumcise himself, his son Ishmael and all the males of his household. All these events are linked together by the theme of "Lech Lecha" of going, of travelling.

The Parsha begins with a rather odd use of phrase.  Normally when we read the words VaYomer Adoshem – “And Hashem Said”, we expect a simple declarative statement to follow. If an instruction is about to be issued, we would expect a verb in the “second person” to appear without a preposition. For example, last week we began a new Hebrew Month, Cheshvan. The Torah reading for “Rosh Chodesh” (the new month) begins: Vayidaber  Adoshem El Moshe Leimor – Hashem Spoke to Moshe saying: Tzav et Bnai Yisroel  - “Command the Children of Yisroel…” There is no preposition following the verb directed at Moshe. However in the case of Avram, when Hashem gives this specific instruction we notice the preposition “Lecha”: VaYomer Adoshem El Avram: Lech Lecha -Hashem said to Avram: Go “Lecha” (for yourself) MeiArtzecha U’Mimoladetecha U’MiBeit Avicha El Ha’Aretz Asher Areka – From you r land, from your relatives, and from your father’s house to the land that I will show you (Gen.12:1).  God tells Avram to do something, and implicit to the instruction is a reminder for whom is Avram to go? Is Avram supposed to go for God or his father? No, Avram goes “Lecha” (for himself). Rashi, the great 11^th century French commentator  clarifies this particularly odd use of the prepositional phrase Lech Lecha – go for yourself: “LHanatcha U’LTovtecha For your benefit and your own good”. Telling Avram to go is not for God’s benefit but for Avram’s benefit. Telling to Avram to “go” is not for God’s own good but for Avram’s own good.  Avram is supposed to do this because it is for his benefit.

Our son will worry about the grade on his test. If he comes home with a good mark he will be excited. If he comes home with a mediocre or bad mark he will be upset.  However as parents, we couldn’t care less about the grade he earns on this test. More importantly we will reiterate that the object is to study and prepare in order to do well for himself, so that he will feel good about himself, so that he understands the link between his effort and his achievement for himself, not for me.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

I Will Walk Alone By The Black Muddy River ( Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Black Muddy River")

As our thirteen year old becomes more social; she prefers to spend time more time with her friends out from the watchful eye of her parents. Recently she found herself confronted with a choice: go along with her friends and disobeying her parents or adhering to the rules and the values she had learned and accepted and not be included by the group friends. I would like to think that most parents share the same attitude regarding their child dealing with peer pressure as we have with our young teenager. We have spent so much time trying to instill a sense of self and sense of purpose. We have attempted to teach her the importance of sometimes having to act alone rather than go along with the crowd. We have tried to teach her the importance of thinking for herself and making decisions that are best for her and not to worry about what everyone else thinks. As parents, we never really know if the lessons are penetrating our child’s brain. We can only hope and pray that when our child gets put into a difficult situation, they will respond the way we have taught them. As our daughter found out, sometimes having lots of friends and being a social butterfly can lead to feeling all alone. Recently she had to make a difficult decision which meant losing a “popularity contest” with her friends. We talked about it over dinner and welcomed her to officially being a teen-ager and dealing with peer pressure. We also explained that this was a good lesson in leadership as well.  Sometimes a person leads by being out in front of an issue. Sometimes a person leads by sitting on ones hands and waiting for the right opportunity to make a point.  Sometimes a person leads by having enough patience and confidence and faith that things work themselves out while simultaneously being minimally invasive. Sometimes a person leads by making sure to cause the least amount of tumult, anguish or divisiveness. Perhaps the great leaders are the ones who know when to sit on his/her hands and knowing when to be aggressively proactive. Noach is an excellent case in point. Certainly he was proactive. He prepared for the Mabul, the Flood. However he didn’t enter into the Ark when the first drops arrived. He waited until the last possible second when there was no hope of saving anymore of God’s creation.

 This week we read Parshat Noach. Noach’s story should be familiar to all of us. God sends a flood as a means of dealing with the growing disappointment in mankind abysmal behavior. However one man, Noach, is deemed Ish Tzadik B’Dorotav – a righteous man in his generation and God makes a covenant with him and his family.  As a result, Noach, his family, and the male and female of every species will be saved in order to re-create after the flood. God instructs Noach to build a Tevah, an Ark. So Noach becomes proactive and begins building. According to the Midrash Tanchuma, it took Noach 120 years to build the Ark. Also, the Ark was built atop a mountain in order to give Noach the greatest amount of time to complete the project. This meant hauling all the materials up a mountain. Frequently, during these 120 years, Noach faced ridicule from others and death threats. Yet Noach persevered. Imagine spending roughly 1/8^th of your life preparing for the future. Imagine spending roughly 1/8^th of your life engaged in a single endeavor. Imagine putting off gratification for 1/8^th of your life and then knowing your sense of accomplishment is predicated on the destruction of so much. Imagine spending 1/8^th of your life hauling Gopher wood up a mountain. Imagine spending a 1/8^th of your life contending with the ridicule of others or death threats. Every day Noach spent his time engaged in one activity, building the first aircraft carrier. Eventually the project would become the purpose of living. During this time, Noach’s life was not so easy. In fact, from a practical perspective, Noach’s life seems quite depressing. Yet despite it all, he continued building even though the gratification from the project would not occur for many years.

For most children, making decisions that allow them to be part of the crowd is much more prevalent than making decisions that sets them apart. For most kids, fitting in is much more important than being the best possible person. To be righteous in one’s own generation is no easy task. One must have a strong sense of self, a strong sense of purpose, and a sense of mission to know when to be aggressively proactive and know when to let all that pieces that one worked so hard to prepare to fall into place. Our daughter found it re-assuring that these issues don’t stop when we finish our teenage years. She was relieved to find out that her 23 year old sister still deals with these types of issues. She was ecstatic to find out that both of her parents routinely have to make “unpopular” decisions, even if it means some people very close to us, might be upset. She smiled and immediately realized what we were saying, then thanked us for being good parents even if it means that she gets angry with us some of the time.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

You Who Choose To Lead Must Follow (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Ripple")

Now that the Yamim Noraim and the Chagim are nearly complete we can begin the slow re-entry into the humdrum of routine and the “real world”. Yes, there remains the conclusion of Sukkot, Shemini Atseret and then Simchat Torah, but by the time Shabbat begins the routine of Shabbat liturgy returns and with it the Weekly Parsha. There won’t be any liturgical additions, no additional torah portions to read, or special haftarot to chant.  With the return of a regular and ordinary Shabbat comes the return of the regular work week, and its regular rhythms of the mundane and the ordinary. I admit by the end of Sukkot, I am Holiday-ed out. I yearn for the routine of a regular work week, I long for my children to have a full week of school, and I excitedly rejoin those who keep up with current events. For me the most difficult thing about the Holidays is that they are designed to keep your focus out of the mundane secular world. I actually like to know what is happening in world. I like to know about mankind’s successes and failures. I like to know when mankind has follows the Yetzer HaTov, the good inclination; and the Yetzer Harah, the evil inclination. For example I need to catch up on what happened regarding Syria and chemical weapons. The last time I heard about Syria, some were criticizing the President because he had failed to lead, he consulted Congress and the American people. Vladimir Putin didn’t consult with anyone. For many, Vladimir Putin exhibited strong leadership skills and the President did not.  Weak American leadership and strong Russian leadership in the international arena is an idea scares many in the west. It scares some Americans, it scares some Canadians, and it scares supporters of Israel. It certainly scares me.

This morning we begin the Torah from the very beginning in Parsha Breishit. We are all familiar with the narrative of this Parsha. The first chapter focuses upon the narrative of creation from God’s perspective. The second chapter focuses upon the narrative of creation from a humankind perspective. The third chapter focuses upon Adam and Chava’s disobedience of God, their obedience to the serpent their partaking of the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge and the resulting consequences. The Fourth chapter focuses upon the family’s growth, sibling rivalry as well as fratricide. The fifth chapter focuses upon ten generations of the family’s genealogy beginning with Adam and Chava and concluding with Noach and his sons. In the sixth chapter, God expresses disappointment with mankind’s behavior and God expresses disappointment in his creation. Emcha Et Ha’Adam Asher Barati  Mei’al Pnai Ha’Adamah – I will blot out mankind whom I have created from the face of the ground (Gen. 6:7).

Torah portrays an omnipotent God, and omnipresent God, and omniscient God, throughout each of the chapters that constitute Parsha Breishit. Yet during the creation process in the first chapter there is a moment where power and leadership hang in the balance.  Vayomer Elohim Na’Aseh Adam B’Tzalmeinu Kidmuteinu V’Yirdu Vidgat HaYam U’ve’Of HaShamayim U’Vabeheimah U’vechol Ha’Aretz Uve’Chol HaRemes HaRomeis Al Ha’Adamah – And God said, Let us make Man in our image, after Our likeness. They shall rule over the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and the over the animal, the whole earth, and every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth (Gen. 1:26).  The Midrash explains that the creation of mankind might give the appearance of diminishing both God’s power and the Ministering Angel’s power. Instead of being right in his desire to create mankind, God still consulted with the ministering angels. As a result, God and the Heavenly Court could all take responsibility for the positive or negative results of that action.

The lesson in leadership is clear.  No matter the title, or the actual power a leader may have, the issue is always about making sure that there are those willing to follow. A leader with no followers is a person who walks alone. Therefore the trick is to be sure to allow others to take ownership of the mission. No one wants ownership if they are already alienated. The Ministering Angels had every reason to feel alienated with the creation of mankind. Essentially Adam v’Chava were ministering angels here. There were even given the same mission as Ministering Angels. By consulting with the Ministering Angels, they were no longer alienated. After Adam v’Chava disobeyed and ate from the tree of knowledge, and Adam v’ Chava became equally physical as well as spiritual beings; there was even less of a threat. The point is that these Angels were consulted, they were not dismissed. They were factored into the creation process not alienated from it. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Can't See Much Difference Between The Dark And Light (Jerry Garcia & Robert Hunter - "Comes A Time")

Our family received some difficult news a few weeks ago. A friend of mine in his late thirties was diagnosed with cancer. Besides our concern for my friend, we are concerned for his wife and four young children.  Needless to say this upsetting news reminded us both of our own mortality. As we have stood in judgment on Rosh HaShanah, as we have appealed to God’s merciful aspect on Yom Kippur, we now begin preparations for Sukkot. We build a sukkah, we decorate a sukkah, we purchase our Lulav and Etrog, and we, actually my wife, prepares numerous festive meals. Amid all these preparations I am reminded of the Torah’s command concerning Sukkot Samachta b’Chagecha – celebrate in your holiday. Then my thoughts drift towards my friend. I wonder how anyone with real pain, real tsuris such as this, how do they put it aside in order to  Samachta b’Chagecha?

On Shabbat Chol HaMoed Sukkot, the Intermediate Sabbath of Sukkot holiday, one of the Five Scrolls is traditionally read.  On this particular Shabbat, we read from Sefer Kohelet, the scroll of Ecclesiastes. According to the tradition, Shlomo HaMelech, King Solomon, towards the end of his life, wrote this Megillah, this scroll. Tradition has this perspective because the language is not one of optimism but rather realism. This is a person who as “seen it all” – Ein Kol Chadash Tachat HaShemesh – There is nothing new under the sun! There is a certain harsh realism and a certain sense of harsh optimism. The author provides us with a no holds barred sense of comfort. He does not coddle us. He does not baby us. He doesn’t offer any artificially sweetened philosophy, or anything will dull our pain, diminish our disappointment, or ease the fear of death. Rather the author shoves our faces in “reality” and gives us a perspective on how to deal with a world that may not be as wonderful as we thought when we were younger and more innocent. Like our sages, I often wonder if one can derive any comfort.

Our sages have asked, is why is such a text, a text that does not offer such explicit hope, a text that does not offer explicit comfort, and is universally recognized as a “downer” of a text, why is such a text read on the holiday that is commonly regarded as Zman Simchateinu – the time of our joy? Historically and agriculturally speaking, "the time of our joy" was the harvest season. In Eretz Yisroel, the Autumn Harvest is complete. We unabashedly celebrate our joy on a physical level because of a successful harvest. We also unabashedly celebrate our joy for having been judged favorably by God, (Rosh HaShanah), having been the recipients of God’s mercy (Yom Kippur). On Sukkot we are commanded to Samachta b’Chagecha – celebrate in your holiday. Yet this text tempers our celebration. While the nature of the Sukkot holiday is to celebrate our unrestrained joy in receiving God’s blessing, we also know that very often it is human nature to forget God and celebrate our achievements and ourselves. Kohelet reminds us that, like the fragile nature of the Sukkah itself, not everything is as much in our control as we think. V’Zerach HaShemesh U’Vah HaShemesh – the sun rises and the sun sets- no matter what we do, no matter how much control we may perceive that we have, at the end of the day, we are ultimately powerless. God is the ultimate cause of all things. The sun rises and sets because of God, not mankind. Kohelet helps us maintain our perspective. Kohelet reminds us that we are not the center of the world. Kohelet reminds us that for all the physical pleasures we seek, for the all the material comforts we work hard to afford, such things are fleeting.

            So how can such a text offer us comfort? Well if we have the perspective of Kohelet, then we can understand how an elderly person, who has seen everything: man’s goodness, man’s evil, the joy of life and the futility of life, offers us comfort.  With control comes responsibility. With power comes responsibility. Kohelet teaches us that we should celebrate the fact that we have so little control. Kohelet teaches us that we should derive joy from the fact that we don’t need to worry about the sunrise or the sunset. We shouldn’t be so overly joyous when good things occur nor overly upset when sad things occur. Intellectually speaking, life and death is not within our control. Living our life is within our control. Living the best possible life is within our control. Living a life that has spiritual meaning and the acquisition of wisdom is the crux of our existence, the purpose for our living. Perhaps that is what we the Torah means when we are told to Samachta B'Chagecha - celebrate in your Holy Day.

           I have spoken with my friend only a few times since I heard the news. We talked about his cancer, we talked about the increased sense of  “chaos” in his life, and loss of control. Remarkably, he innately understood Kohelet’s message. As we talked he realized that there are certain things in his control; the most important things remain in his control: his attitude, his perspective, and his outlook on life. Needless to say, he very much looks forward to celebrating Sukkot this year. I imagine the concept of V’Samachta, V’Chagecha will be even more meaningful when he sits in the Sukkah with his wife and children celebrating and cherishing his most precious blessings. He deeply and intuitively understands the awe inspiring nature of being able to celebrate life under any circumstance. Sof Davar Ha’Kol Nishmah et Ha’Elohim Y’rah v’Et Mitzvotav Shmor  Ki Zeh Kol HaYamim- The sum of the matter, when all has been considered: Be in Awe of God and keep his Commandments, for that is man’s whole duty.

Peace,

Rav Yitz