The other day, my ten year old daughter got the best of me. After pushing my buttons over and over again, I made the number one parent mistake. I responded. I should have walked away, but I responded. Knowing that I possessed a much stronger vocabulary and that could inflict much more damage than she ever could; I should have just walked away. However in the heat of the moment, I wanted to show her who the parent was, and it wasn’t the ten year old. So I said something that was pretty hurtful to her. In a look that expressed shock; her jaw dropped, tears welled up and she ran upstairs to her room. Belatedly, I went outside to get some air and collect my thoughts. I thought about what had just transpired. I thought how I could have behaved differently, behaved in a way that would have de-escalated the tension as opposed to escalated the tension. I thought about what needs to be done to rectify the current situation. Apologizing can be difficult, apologizing to a child is almost impossible. However in this particular case, it was absolutely the right thing to do. I went upstairs, I sat at the foot of her bed and apologized. I explained that I should have known better. I apologize for failing to act more like an adult and her parent. My apology was contrite and heartfelt. She began crying and apologized to me. We talked some more, hugged and then I said good night to her. I realized that had I not apologized first, she would never have apologized to me and we would never have discussed the issue that was at the heart of the matter; her insolent behavior. Because I apologized to her first, I appeared more human, more approachable and safer for her to apologize to me.
This Shabbat, we read Parsha Shemini. Divided into three chapters, Parsha Shemini begins the narrative aspects of the book of Leviticus. Until now, we have read God’s speaking to Moshe about all the various Korbonot (offerings) and Moshe speaking to Bnai Yisroel and the Cohanim about all the Korbonot (offerings). Now, Aaron, the Kohen Gadol, begins his preparations for and then engages in the actual slaughtering of the Ram as part of his own Sin Offering. First the Kohen Gadol must be without blemish, without sin, and ritually pure before he begins serving as the conduit between the individual/community and God. When the Kohen is ritually impure and attempts to approach God inappropriately we learn the results, as does Aaron (Lev. 10:1-2). Finally, we learn how the individual/the community can aspire to be holy without Kohen Gadol’s involvement. We learn this by the Torah’s enumeration of all the animals that are prohibited for consumption.
The Parsha begins with the word VaYehi: It was on the eighth day; Moses summoned Aaron and his sons, and the elders of Israel (Lev. 9:1). In the Talmudic tractate of Megillah (10b) we are taught that the word VaYehi often serves as foreshadow for troubling events. The Midrash teaches that this parsha occurred on the first of Nissan, an incredibly happy time since it serves as an indicator of Zman Cheiruteinu – the Time of our Freedom and the Pesach holiday. However this is a bittersweet moment. The sweetness is the fact that the community is gathering together for the dedication of the Mishkan. The bitterness lay in the fact that a Mishkan is even necessary. Prior to the sin of the Eigel Zahav (Golden Calf), there was no need for a place for Bnai Yisroel to gather and engage in communal and individual Tshuva. Following the sin of the Eigel Zahav, we as individuals and as a community required a central gathering place to atone for our sins, and engage in Tshuvah. Next we read Vayomer El Aharon Kach Lecha Eigel ben Bakar L’Chatat – [Moshe] said to Aaron: Take for yourself a young bull for a sin offering…(Lev. 9:3).What sin offering? What did Aaron do wrong that a Sin offering was required? Precisely because of Aaron’s involvement in the Golden Calf debacle, he needs to atone. So Aaron must bring a Chatat offering, a sin offering. Aaron must admit his sin, atone for it, and seek a spiritual return to God (Tshuvah) prior to serving on the behalf of the people. Even more powerful than Aaron’s fulfilling this obligation is the fact that Aaron’s two remaining sons, the Elders, and the entire assembly will bear witness to Aaron’s humbling of himself. Not only will Aaron know that he is worthy to serve on behalf of the people, but the people will know as well.
Our sages hold Aaron in very high esteem. While the Rabbinic Sages are troubled with the way he handled himself during the incident of the Golden Calf; it is here in Parsha Shemini, when Aaron publicly humbles himself, we understand Aaron’s meritorious conduct. Aaron’s behavior provides a powerful lesson for any individual in a position of authority or leadership. Whether Parent, President or Prime Minister, our ability to engage in heartfelt Tshuva does not diminish that authority but rather enhances it.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
No comments:
Post a Comment