If You Could See In My Heart You Would Know It's True; There Is None, Cérise, Except For You (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Reuben and Cerise")

With three daughters, every so often I get anxious regarding that moment when they begin to seriously date a boy, or have strong feelings for a boy, or begin an exclusive relationship with a boy.  With a daughter in her twenties and two teenage daughters; my wife and I want boys to be interested in our daughters. We want our daughters to go out on dates. However, my desire for them to have the excitement of “puppy love” is quickly tempered by my anxiety of their being in a serious relationship and how that new relationship affects my relationship with my daughters. It is at that point, I try to stop thinking about the fact that my daughters are growing older (as am I), and try to end my anxiety attack.

This Shabbat is the last day of Pesach. Among the additions to the Shabbat/Pesach service is the fact that we say Yizkor and commemorate the deceased. Because we are celebrating a Festival that did not have an intermediate Shabbat, but rather the last days fall on a Shabbat; we read a Megillah - a Scroll that corresponds to Pesach.  ChaZaL – our sages teach us that we read Shir HaShirim, the Song of Songs. This biblical text, taken from Ketuvim (Writings) is attributed to Shlomo HaMelech – King Solomon.  The eight chapters, which are a song in a melody different from both Torah and Haftarah speaks of the romantic love of a young couple.  I imagine that this young couple is in their early twenties but there is no evidence that suggests a specific age. Because the text begins with the words: Shir HaShirim Asher L’Shlomo – The Song of Songs by Solomon; ChaZaL explains that only a young man in throes of romantic love would write such poetry. A middle age man wouldn’t write such romantic poetry since some of the idealism of that romantic love would have waned, and certainly an older man, towards the end of life wouldn’t write of romantic love since an older man would be more scarred by life’s experience. Nevertheless, this beautiful poetry and the illusions of green meadows, deer, trees, and fruit, portray a romantic vision that would great poets such as Shakespeare and Keats jealous with its use of language.

The question is why we read Shir HaShirim during the Pesach Festival. How is a nation attaining liberty remotely connected to Romantic poetry?  R’Akiva, the same R’Akiva that we all read about in the Haggada at our respective sederim, comments that the Song of Songs is the holy of holies (Midrash Tanchuma).  We understand that something becomes holy when it has been separated from the mundane and ordinary and elevated to a higher purpose.  Certainly, B'nai Yisroel fits such a description. Throughout the story of the Yetziat Mitzrayim, when Moshe request of Pharaoh that B'nai Yisroel is released from bondage, Moshe repeatedly says to ‘Let me people go… Asher Ya’Avduni  “So that they may serve me.” Clearly, the purpose of being released from Pharaoh’s slavery enabled B'nai Yisroel to enter into a relationship with God. As long as Pharaoh declined Moshe’s request, the more Pharaoh prevented B'nai Yisroel from separating itself from Egypt and elevating itself for the sole purpose of entering into a sacred relationship with God. Now that B'nai Yisroel has been freed from Egypt, it can return to the sacred relationship with God, a relationship that it had not experienced for over two centuries.  From that perspective, the relationship, with this generation of B'nai Yisroel is novel, idealistic and romantic. After all, within our tradition we view Hashem as our protector, we view Hashem as bound to the Jewish people much like a husband is bound to a wife. On Friday nights, we have a Kabbalistic tradition of viewing the Shabbat Queen as our spiritual mate. After all, Sunday has Monday, Tuesday has Wednesday and Thursday has Friday. Can Shabbat really be left alone? According to Midrash, Shabbat is paired off with the Jewish People.  (Bereishit Rabba h 11:8)The Shabbat Bride serves as a symbol of that pairing off.

As Pesach draws to a close,  our story doesn’t end, nor does our relationship with God draw to a conclusion. Because we are counting the Omer each evening up until 50, we understand that our job is to prepare ourselves for our long, awaited reunion with Hashem.  That reunion will occur on Shavuot when we stand at Sinai to receive the Torah. Shir HaShirim merely marks the beginning of a loving relationship, a courtship prior to a marriage,  a time when we should be full of romantic visions prior to entering a relationship built upon obligations.  As a father of three daughters, someday all three will grow into relationships that culminate in the sanctity of marriage. For now, however, I have enough anxiety just dealing with “young romantic” love.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

I Got A Feelin' There's No Time To Lose, No Time To Lose (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Saint of Circumstance")

My daughter and I went to the supermarket last week in order to get the requisite Kosher for Pesach foods needed for my wife’s assorted recipes. Actually, like many Jews, we went to the supermarket more than once. However on one particular journey to the supermarket, as we were pushing our cart through the throng of Jews, a man carrying a food basket was walking against the flow of supermarket traffic looking decidedly out of place and lost. First, he had a cross hanging from his neck. Yet he was entering the melee of the Kosher for Passover section. He saw me and my daughter just as we left the “Kosher For Passover” section as he drew towards us and said, “Excuse me.” He said he noticed the Kippah on my head. My daughter knew exactly what was going through my mind. I wish had been wearing a baseball cap. I smiled and said to this man with the cross hanging from his neck, “there are many people wearing a kippa on their head and there are even a few wearing black Fedoras and or Borsellino hats.” He smiled and explained that he has already tried speaking to four men. It seems that no one has time for him. My daughter knew what I was thinking: Leave immediately. However, I also knew what my daughter was thinking: be patient and listen. So I smiled and explained it is a very busy time and then I asked him how I could help him. The man had written an article about the Kingdom of God, and the impending Salvation of the Jewish People. He thought it would be particularly poignant to read at this time of year and he needed some input from Jews. He asked me if I could take the time to read it. I looked at my daughter, my eyes pleading with her to give me her permission for me to politely remove ourselves from this very uncomfortable position. She nodded and I turned to the man and politely said that I would love to read the article but I was very busy preparing for the Passover Festival. The man said something stunning. He had written an article about God and mankind and it seems that the Jews don’t have time for God. He then remarked that he was saddened and surprised that these people had no time for God. Now I was growing very impatient and my daughter saw me draw my breath to speak. I leaned in and quietly told the man that while it may seem that these people are all in a hurry, and explain that they don’t have time to stop and speak with you, that doesn’t mean that they don’t have time for God. Every one of these people shopping for Passover, every one of these people preparing for Passover was making time for God. Then I suggested that maybe they weren’t making time for him and the version of God and God’s Kingdom and God’s Salvation, that he felt compelled to discuss with Jews whose focus was on Passover. I wished him a good day and good luck.

This Shabbat marks the first day of Pesach. Pesach is known as Zman Cheiruteinu – the Time of our Freedom. Shabbat is known as Yom Menucha and a Day of Rest.  Because Pesach comes once a year and Shabbat occurs fifty-two time a year, on this particular Shabbat, Pesach tends to be our focus. We didn’t just partake of a Shabbat dinner; we participated in a Seder.  We don’t read from the weekly Torah reading, we read a special Torah reading that focuses upon the narrative of the first Passover celebration in Egypt as B’nai Yisroel was about to become a free people and leave Egypt. U’Lekachetem Agudat Eizov Utvaltem BaDam Asher BaSaf V’HiGaTem El HaMaSHKoF V’El SHTei HaMZuZoT MiN HaDaM Asher BaSaF V’ATeM Lo TeiTZu ISh MiPeTaCH BeiTo Ad  BoKeR -  You Shall take a bundle of hyssop and dip it into the blood that is in the basin, and touch the lintel and the two doorposts with some of the blood that is in the basin and as for you, you shall not leave the entrance of the house until morning (Ex. 12:22).  We had to choose a lamb, slaughter a lamb, cook a lamb, eat it and ask questions. In a sense, it seems like we had to hurry up and wait for redemption.

Fridays and the hours leading up to Shabbat have are hectic quality in their own right. Passover preparations are a completely different type of hectic sensibility. The Shabbat “hectic” begins slowly maybe in the middle of the week it culminates in the minutes before candle lighting. The hectic before Pesach begins slowly weeks in advance when the Kosher for Passover food arrives in the stores. It builds with invitations to Seders, menus, shopping lists, and schlepping boxes, converting a kitchen and then cooking. Even when the Festival begins, there is still a sense of hectic when the Seder begins. We need to complete the Seder by midnight. One type of hectic is necessary for being able to appreciate Shabbat as Yom Menucha, a day of rest. However, the other type of hectic is necessary for us to appreciate Pesach as Zman Cheiruteinu – time for our freedom. One type of hectic causes us a desire to catch our breath from the mundane activities of the week. One type of hectic causes us to appreciate the hard work required to be a free people engaged in a holy relationship. So when a man wanting to tell me about his version of God, redemption, and salvation; how do we explain that dealing with “the hectic” and “the chaos” in preparation is really Lichvod Shabbat, and Lichvod Chag HaPesach, for the honour and respect of Shabbat and Pesach and God?  The fact was, all these people that he saw hurrying about had a very specific deadline in order to welcome the Sabbath Bride and be prepared for our Freedom.  Sometimes the preparations for the sacred are tantamount to the sacred moment itself. 

Peace and Chag Kasher V’Sameach,

Rav Yitz 

So Let Us Not Talk Falsely Now, The Hour Is Getting Late (Bob Dylan - "All Along the Watchtower")

Friends of ours who normally go to the Catskills for Passover have suddenly changed their plans. The measles outbreak in Williamsburg section of Brooklyn forced them to change their minds. While many of the Williamsburg residents and Rabbis hold that vaccinations are legal according to Halacha (Jewish Law), there is a small group that has been exposed (no pun intended) to the “alternative facts”, “mis- information”, and questionable data concerning vaccinations. Several New York newspapers raised a fascinating question. This is not a community that has a plethora of access to mass media, or to social media. How did the anti- vaccination campaign over the past few years gain credence in this particular community?  The answer was so obvious that it was profound. People talk, people share ideas, people share information and people share what they hear whether it is true or not. The result is that a disease that was once considered eradicated has returned as a result of people talking, listening and spreading misinformation about vaccinations.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Metzorah. The discussion and laws for Tamei/ Tahor (Purity & Impurity) as it affects human beings is continued from last week’s Parsha, Tazria. We continue to learn intricate details concerning how an individual becomes ritually purified, his/her reentrance into the camp, and the prominent role of the Kohen Gadol in ascribing a spiritual treatment for a physical expression of a spiritual problem. Besides discussing the laws of the Metzorah, the laws of one who suffers from this skin ailment, the Parsha also confronts the issues of the Metzorah spreading to a house and the method by which that impurity is removed from the house. The second half of the Parsha concentrates on the laws of Taharah Mishpachah, the laws of family purity.

             When Tzaraat is discovered on an individual, he or she would go to the Kohen Gadol, the High Priest, and undergo and examination. However if the Tzaarat spreads beyond the individual and pollutes the home: U’Vah Asher Lo HaBayit V’Higid LaKohen Leimor- “K’Negah NiReH Li BaBayit” – And he that owns the house shall come and tell the priest saying: It seems to me there is as it were a plague in the house. (Lev. 14:35) Even if the individual sees the Tzaarat, sees the impurity, knows that it is Tzaarat, the individual cannot and must not say that “It is plague in the house,” but rather K’Negah literally “It is like a plague”. Rashi explains that “even if the individual is knowledgable and has no doubt as to the nature of the plague, only the Kohen Gadol has the authority and expertise to utter a definitive judgment. Any statement from anyone else ought not be considered definitive. Rashi’s comment appears to be focused upon the issue of “Purity and Impurity”, and reminding us that the authority to decide and declare Purity and Impurity rests solely upon the High Priest. Rashi, is also reminding us that even if it "seems like" an impurity it must be treated as such. However the authority  to officially diagnose and treate resides with the Kohen, everyone else must have enought humility to possess self doubt.  The MaHaRaL of Prague (Rabbi Yehuda Loew of Prague 1525-1609) takes the lesson a step further. “Since it is but the priest who establishes the Nega (the plague and its legal implications); anyone else would not be speaking the truth.”

Here in this simple statement “K’Negah” –It seems to be a plague” , we address the health issue. We recognize the potential damage the Lashon HaRah has done, “K’Negah” – it seems like a plague; then the Kohen treats the plague and the patient. We quarantine the individual/individuals in order to prevent the spread of something that looks like a plague. Knowing that Pesach is soon approaching, and the Holiday means greater socializing and greater exposure; it looks like more people could be at risk. So the Mayor has taken it upon himself to issue a State of Emergency Order instructing everyone to have proof of vaccination. In the meantime, our friends have made alternative plans at home in Toronto; and we all learn the lesson of the power that words and language can have upon the health and welfare of an entire community.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

She Has No Pain Like A Child She Is Pure, She Is Not To Blame (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Help Is On The Way")

          Friends of ours celebrated their son’s Bar Mitzvah. We ate, drank, and were subjected to incredibly loud music designed for young people. It always amazes me as a parent, that once you achieve the milestone of your youngest child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah, the music at every other Bar/Bat Mitzvah seems so much louder. Yes, I suppose it is an indication of old age. We also sat through several speeches. The Bar Mitzvah boy gave offered interesting words of Torah. The siblings spoke. However, it was listening to both the father and the mother speak that began to understand and thinking about our children’s rights of passage and milestones: Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, Weddings, and Bris or graduations. The father spoke and referenced his mother who had passed away several years before. The mother invoked her father who had been unable to attend her older son’s Bar Mitzvah because he, the grandfather of the Bar Mitzvah boy, was in Israel mourning and sitting Shiva for his mother. Through her joy and pride in her son, through her tears and gratitude that her father was able to attend this family event; she demonstrated what every parent understands. At any achievement of a milestone, at every lifecycle event, the parents, we parents understand that the purer the joy, the greater the sense of a desire to invoke and share that moment with a loved one who is unable to be there and, in effect, temper that joy.
          This week’s Torah portion is Parsha Tazria. Parsha Tazria concentrates upon how impurity, a spiritual impurity is passed between people. The majority of the Parsha focuses upon Leprosy as it was considered to be a very physically contagious disease. Parsha Tazria puts the diagnosis, the treatment, and the convalescence in spiritual terms rather than physical terms. We learn that the while this Tumah, this spiritual impurity is present, the stricken individual cannot reside within the camp. After all, God dwells in the camp and we cannot tolerate any impurity near God.
          However, prior to its discussion of Leprosy, Parsha Tazria outlines the somewhat troubling laws concerning impurity in childbirth. Fundamentally, the notion of impurity relates to coming into contact with that which is dead. In Parsha Shemini, Torah outlined impurities that come from dead animals. In this Parsha, we are reminded that a Mother is touched by death during the miracle of childbirth. Isha Ki Tazria V’Yalda Zachar V’Tamah Shivat Yamim Kimei Nitdat Dotah Titmah – When a woman conceives and gives birth to a male, she shall be contaminated for a seven day period as during the days of her separation infirmity shall she be contaminated (Lev. 12:2). Imagine becoming spiritually impure after being blessed by the miracle of childbirth. Yet, this new mother lost blood; she lost some aspect of her life force during the birth process. As a result, while simultaneously being touched by a new life, she is also touched by her own mortality.
          Perhaps there is no more an intense moment than when a new mother, physically exhausted and spent, holds the newborn. The Rabbis of the Talmud teach that surviving childbirth is an equivalent to a near-death experience and saying Birkat HaGomeil is therefore required. (Praised are You, Lord Our God, King of the universe who graciously bestows favor upon the undeserving, even as He has bestowed favor upon me.) Inherent to surviving a near-death experience is the notion that the individual comes precipitously close to death. Even in the miracle of life, we are reminded of its fragility. Even in death, we are reminded that we are forever striving towards elevated levels of holiness. In the most physical moments, and certainly, childbirth is quite a physical endeavor, we are reminded that it is our spiritual task to elevate that physical moment into a spiritually holy moment as well. As parents celebrating our children’s milestones, we are innately aware of the need to acknowledge our sense of loss and elevate it by incorporating it into our celebration.

              Peace

Rav Yitz