During
the last drive we took to the United States, before we put the DVD’s into the
DVD player, my wife and I tried to explain what family car rides were like when
we were kids. We told them that there were no such things as DVD’s. They were
shocked. I explained that I remember how excited I was when I was about 14 or
15 and the car actually had a cassette player. Of course they wanted to know “what’s
a cassette player”. I explained that before we even had a cassette player we
either listened to the radio or listened to their grandfather sing. Sometimes
we would play various games or actually have a conversation. Our children were
overwhelmed. They wondered how we drove anywhere. They wondered if we were
bored to death. That little bit of reminiscing usually gives them enough
perspective to limit the complaining. However when the complaining begins, I
simply suggest that we turn off the DVD player and I turn on the music that I
like. They quickly stop complaining. When we are home and the complaining gets
to be so overwhelming, and I feel like I am about to becoming extremely
frustrated with them, I yell “I quit”, I
go outside. I take a walk. Of course I begin thinking about how many more years
until our 12 year old, our 10 year old and our 8 year old are out of the house. Realizing I will be 57 in ten years; I wonder to myself if I can survive that long. Then I walk back in the
house and ignore the complaining.
This
Shabbat we read Parshat Behalotcha. For the previous two Parshiot, Bemidbar and
Naso, Bnai Yisroel has counted and prepared for their journey from Sinai to
Eretz Canaan. This week, the final preparations are ordered and executed and
the departure from Sinai begins. Aaron, Moshe’s brother and the Kohen Gadol,
lights the lamp for the Mishkan, the entire Levite tribe is purified, offerings
made and their service for maintenance of the Mishkan begins. Final
instructions for observing Pesach under these new conditions, (they were not
leaving Egypt anymore nor had they arrived in the land) were offered, including
the case of coming into contact with the deceased and becoming spiritually
impure. The narrative tells us the manner in which Bnai Yisroel traveled:
sheltered by a cloud during the day, and protected by a pillar of fire at
night. Then with the all too familiar statement V’Yehi Binsoa Ha’Aron Va’Yomer Moshe Kumah Adoshem V’Yafutzu Oyvecha
V’Yanusu M’Sanecha Mipanecha – When
the Ark would journey, Moshe said, “Arise, Hashem, and let your foes be
scattered, let those who hate You flee from before you” (Num. 10:35); Moshe,
Bnai Yisroel and the Ark of the Covenant began their journey towards Eretz
Canaan.
Like
our own children at the start of our family trip, Bnai Yisroel acts in a
similar fashion. Just like our children begin the universal complains of “Are
we there yet,” I’m hungry”, “When are we going to get there!” the children of
Israel begin complaining and whining as well.
Bnai Yisroel complains that they are hungry (they want meat). Bnai
Yisroel complains about everything, but mostly they complained, according to
the Commentators, about the travail of the road. Just like we grow impatient
with our children upon hearing complaint after complaint, Moshe Rabeinu and
even God became impatient with Bnai Yisroel. In fact Moshe became so impatient
and upset that he asks God to resign from the position. Lo Uchal Anochi L’Vai LaSeit Et Kol Ha’Am HaZeh Ki Kaved Mimeni – I alone cannot carry this entire nation, for
it is too heavy for me! V’Im Kacha
At Oseh Li HarGeini Na Harog -And if this is how You deal with me, then
kill me now (Num. 11:14-15). Clearly Bnai Yisroel’s incessant complaining
has affected Moshe Rabeinu’s ability to his job. Rav Ovadia Sforno, the great
Italian Renaissance Rabbi and Torah commentator explains the depth of Moshe’s
despair for Bnai Yisroel. With children there is a basic trust that the child
has in the parent. There is a fundamental love that the parent has for the
child. There is an assumption that the parent, based on his/her judgment, does
what is best for the child. Sforno continues to explain that in the case of
Moshe and Bnai Yisroel, Moshe does not enjoy any such trust from Bnai Yisroel.
Rather Bnai Yisroel was constantly testing Moshe to see if he had any love for
them. One can well imagine, that after a while, Moshe, like any person, will
begin to fail these “test” and grow weary, fed up and eventually want to quit.
The
same holds true for us in our jobs, our careers, our homes as well as our
obligations towards God. Whether we are incessantly complaining or listening to
incessant complaining, at some point it saps our energy, our strength and our
desire to fulfill the myriad of tasks and obligations we need to fulfill as
husbands, wives, parents, and children. Perhaps in adjusting our attitude and
perspective our lives become greatly enhanced with the possibility of greater
holiness and meaning.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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