Finally, the kids have gone back to school! No more wacky
schedules! No more listening to “what are we going to do today?” No more being
a children’s entertainment network! No more trying to figure out a “special activity”. The days
leading up to school are usually rather hectic: school supply shopping, uniform
fittings, sneaker selecting. However
there is also a certain inevitability about the whole idea of “school starting”. About ten days before school begins, I usually start mentioning that "when school starts, we won't do such and such activity anymore." They complain
that summer vacation is concluding, and I constantly speak of school as an
inevitability that has absolutely nothing to do with the conclusion of summer
vacation. It is nothing to feel good or bad about, it is just what kids have to
do. So, when our twelve year old states that “I wish everyday could be summer
vacation so I don’t have to go to school.” My response is simple “When you go
to school, you won’t feel that way,” or “it doesn’t matter how you feel, YOU
ARE GOING TO SCHOOL!” Our ten year old,
enjoys school so there is no
problem. Our eight year old son
expresses some trepidation because he knows that the teacher is stricter than
any teacher he has ever had. For him, I
treat school as inevitable as well. “When
you go to school, all you have to do is listen, follow the rules and do your work. That’s it;
simple. Three simple things and you will do fine in school and do well with
your teacher.” He can’t believe that it
is the secret. I whisper that it is and he is ready for the inevitable.
This week we read from Parsha Ki Tavo. The Parsha begins with
Moshe explaining the laws that are specific to Bnai Yisroel’s entry into the
Land. He reminds them of the laws of
first fruits, and tithing. Moshe reminds
them that there is a powerful link between God, Bnai Yisroel and the Land. Each
needs the other. Moshe then describes
the ritual specific to this generation that will symbolize their acceptance of
the Torah and the covenant. As they
cross the Jordan River, they would inscribe two stones with Kol Divrei haTorah HaZot BaEir Heiteiv –
You shall inscribe on the stones all the
words of this Torah well clarified.” Then the stones would be covered with
plaster in order to protect the inscriptions. Moshe then reminds Bnai Yisroel
that they are now a Am Yisroel– a Nation and no longer Bnai Yisroel – Children of
Yisroel. With that change of status
comes the responsibility, and Moshe lists the blessings and the curses that
will result depending upon Am Yisroel’s
behavior. Moshe concludes by reminding his people that after everything
they have experienced, taking on the responsibilities of entry into the Land is
not that difficult. Success in the Land is simple and based upon one thing, Ushmartem HaBrit HaZot- Observe the words of the covenant.
Moshe treats this enormous change in Bnai Yisroel’s existence
as an inevitability. V’Hayah Ki Tavoh el
Ha’Aretz Asher Adoshem Elokecha Notein Lecha Nachala Virishtah VYashavta Ba
– It will be when you enter the Land that
Hashem, your God, gives you as an inheritance, and you possess it, and dwell in
it… (Deut. 26:1). Whether Bnai Yisroel likes it or not, wants it or not is
anxiety ridden or not; they will enter
the land. There will be new responsibilities, responsibilities that they did
not have during their 40 years of wandering. Later on in that same chapter we
read: Ki T’Chaleh La’aser et kol MaSar T’vuatcha
b’Shana Hashlishit When you have
finished tithing every tithe of your
produce in the third year…(Deut 26:20). Again, Moshe presents this notion
of tithing as an inevitability. You will tithe, you will get the through the
process, you will have enough left over to live on. No matter our anxiety, no
matter our feeling or thoughts. Moshe presents the transition from children to
nation, the responsibilities that are part of being a nation as an inevitability
that we need to embrace.
Maybe it is just a tough lesson to learn. “Inevitability“ suggests
a certain degree of powerlessness. Our kids
cannot stop the first day of school from happening. They can either learn to
accept it and embrace the inevitability. They can learn to control the things
that they can control, namely their responses to that which is inevitable.
However they will have to learn to accept life inevitability. So when our
twelve year old daughter wishes that every day was summer vacation so she doesn’t
have to go to school; maybe she should stop wasting time on wishes that have no
bearing in reality. I remind her that
maybe she should wish about something that she can control, like the effort and the work that she can put in to her
studies.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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