Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Stones Fall From My Eyes Instead of Tears ( Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Black Muddy Water")



Whenever I return home from work or when I return home from having been at shul all day on Shabbat; there is always a moment of trepidation. Will I walk into a tidy and neat home or will I walk into a chaotic mess.  Sometimes my children will casually warn me not to go into their rooms and that they will clean their rooms in a little while.  I know there is a mess in their room. I just don’t know how big of a mess.  I go upstairs to my room, and on the way, since I can’t help myself; I peek into their room. What I see is unbelievable, impossible and mind boggling. It’s not just a mess.  I know what a mess is; a “mess” would already suggest a state of tidiness. No, this is NOT a mess; this is as if Hurricane Katrina blew through. Their rooms look like the Delta House from the movie “Animal House”.  From deep inside my gut I can feel my frustration growing. I mean they actually have to work hard to get their bedrooms this disgusting. I yell their names and tell them to get upstairs right away and start cleaning up.  There are no excuses, nor explanations that can pacify my frustration.  I wonder how their description could have been so inaccurate, as I realize that my frustration has more to do with that inaccuracy as opposed to the actual mess in their room.
This week we read from Parsha Ki Tissa. A census of the population is taken by collecting a half shekel for each person.  God then designates two men, Betzalel ben Uri from the tribe of Judah and Ahaliav ben Achisamach from the tribe of Dan to be the Master Builder and Designer to begin the construction of the Mishkan. God re-iterates the commandment of the Shabbat and reminds Moshe that anyone who violates it will be put to death and his/her soul will be cut off from the people.  Bnai Yisroel commits the sin of the Eigel Zahav (Golden Calf): they built and then worshipped an idol. God wants to wipe out the people but Moshe urges God to reconsider. Moshe then descends the mountain and becomes just as upset as God, and he throws down the Shnei Luchot HaBritthe Two Tablets of the Covenant. After a day or two when calm has been restored, Moshe re-ascends the mountain in order to pray for national forgiveness. Moshe then has an opportunity to experience another personal revelation even more powerful than the Burning Bush; Moshe has the opportunity to witness God’s passing before him. Dictated by God, Moshe chisels the Aseret Diberot into two new Tablets. He then goes back down the mountain. This time he descends with light and glory of God emanating from him.
Among the less than appealing qualities that Moshe Rabeinu possessed was his temper. Nowhere was Moshe’s temper more on display than the moment he actually saw Bnai Yisroel’s behavior around the Egel Zahav (Golden Calf).  VaYehi Ka’Asher Karav El HaMaChaneh - And it came to pass as he approached the camp VaYar et HaEigel Um’Cholot,  and saw the calf and dancing, VaYiChar Af Moshe VaYashleich MiYaDav et HaLuChot that Moshe’s anger burned and he hurled the tablets from his hands VaYashbeir Otam Tachat HaHar and shattered them at the foot of the mountain. (32:19). The reality was that HaShem already told Moshe that Bnai Yisroel Asu Lahem Eigel MaSeicha – had already build for themselves a molten calf, VaYishtachavu Loand they bowed to; VaYizbechu Loand they made sacrifices to it. (32:7-8). So if Moshe had already been told about Bnai Yisroel’s deplorable behavior, why did Moshe throw the Aseret Dibrot and shattered them upon the ground? There must have been a discrepancy between what Hashem told Moshe and the reality that Moshe saw upon his descent from the mountain. Rav Ovadia Sforno, the great Italian Renaissance commentator explains that the glaring difference was the fact that Moshe saw Bnai Yisroel dancing.  “He saw that they were reveling in their iniquity…It was this that aroused Moses’ anger and made him despair of being able to remedy matters and spur them to repent and become worthy of the tablets. “ It was not the making of the Golden Calf that led to Moshe’s anger, Hashem already told Moshe. Rather he was infuriated at their subsequent conduct, the dancing, and the absence of any remorse on their part. This led Moshe to despair and ultimately frustration and anger.
The words that Moshe heard from HaShem did not prepare him from witnessing the subsequent attitude. Moshe was told that Bnai Yisroel built a golden calf, and they bowed to it and made offerings to it. These are factual statements. Seeing them dance before the Golden Calf offered insight into their attitude. My children tell me their room is a mess while they are watching television. They don’t run upstairs to try to fix the situation, rather they continue watching television or playing on their IPod as if their words and plan to clean it up later are sufficient.  The dancing indicated that Bnai Yisroel didn’t seem to care about their relationship with God. Rather they were concerned with revelry of the moment. For my children, it seemed that they didn’t care about their environment nor did they care for their own belongings.  No I didn’t have two tablets to throw upon the ground in order to get their attention. Instead, the threat of no television, no computer and no IPod was motivation enough.
            Peace,
            Rav Yitz

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