One Step Done and Another Begun (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "New Speedway Boogie)

Our children finally completed the school year. Our 13 year old daughter just graduated from 8^th grade. All week, we have been purchasing clothing, toiletries and sundry camp items in order to get our three adolescent children packed and ready for camp. For the past week our 13 year old has been studying for a few final exams and focusing on a strong academic finish. When we have offered to help her to label clothing and help her pack for camp, well let’s just say she had difficulty focusing upon both preparing for final exams and packing.  Needless to say, the final 24-36 hours prior to her departure for camp, was filled with high drama and tension because she insisted that she knew what was required in order to pack for camp, she insisted that she knew how to label and pack for camp, and that she did not want any help.  While I thought that this growing sense of independence was commendable, I just about blew a gasket when I would see her watching something stupid on TV or wasting time on the computer instead of focusing upon the task at hand. Yes, our daughter might have graduated from 8^th grade, but she just starting the process of growing up. She has a long way to go. Yet, she has taken a first step.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Chukkat. God gives Moshe the Law of the Red Heifer. Miriam dies. The well that provided water for Bnai Yisroel due to her merit, dried up. Moshe and Aharon have the unfortunate incident of asking God for water, striking the rock rather than speaking to the rock and then are told that neither will enter into Eretz Canaan. The people get water. Bnai Yisroel fights Edom and wins. Aharon dies, and his son replaces him as Kohen Gadol. Amalek attacks and Bnai Yisroel fights back and wins. Bnai Yisroel complains about the fact that they have to take another detour and food seems scarce. God gets angry and punishes them with fiery serpents. Bnai Yisroel pleads for forgiveness. They travel some more and arrive at the border of the Amorites and the Moabites.  Bnai Yisroel asks Sihon, Amorite King, permission to pass through his land. He refuses and instead chooses to fight Bnai Yisroel. Bnai Yisroel fights and beats King Sihon and his Amorite army.  The parsha concludes with Bnai Yisroel encamped on the Plains of Moab on the eastern side of the Jordan River opposite Jericho. 

Yes, a lot things occur in this Parsha, however it is important to realize that nearly 38 years passed between the start of the Parsha, and the conclusion of the Parsha.  Somewhere in the Parsha, those born in the wilderness, or those that were very young at the time of Yetziat Mitzrayim, reached adulthood, they developed physically, they developed emotionally, and they developed spiritually. This generation’s growth and development spiritually is not a straight line gradually going up at a 20 degree angle. There are stops and starts, there are moments of growth, there are moments of regression and there are moment of plateauing.  Yet it is Parsha Chukkat which contains within it a transition of nearly forty years, a period of time in which a generation grew up.  However there is one small narrative that occurs which serves as the first indication that this generation is growing up, graduating. No it is not too terribly a large accomplishment but it is the first step.  Miriam had died, the incident with the water and the rock had occurred. Clearly there was a transition of leadership that was in process. Aharon just died and his son Elazar had just been anointed Kohen Gadol.  Bnai Yisroel weeps and mourns for Aharon.  Then the Canaanite king of Arad attacks Israel and takes a captive. At this point we are told that Vayidar Yisroel Neder L’Adoshem, VaYomer Im Noton Titen Et Ha’Am HaZeh B’Yadi, VHaChaRaMti Et Areihem – If You will deliver this people into my hand, I will consecrate their cities.” (Num21:2)  God listens, and delivers the enemy into Israel’s hand. Israel consecrates the cities to God.  There is no complaining. There is no whining. There is only an expression of faith during an anxious moment, and “if, then” vow. For the first time, Bnai Yisroel acts as one people, hence the use of the singular rather than the plural. For the first time, Bnai Yisroel appeals to God directly. For the first time, Bnai Yisroel doesn’t expect something for nothing, rather they are willing to do something in return - VHaChaRaMti et Areihem, I will consecrate their cities. Certainly, they still have some spiritual growing up to do, but this was their first step towards being a people of spiritual maturity and faith.

               

An 8^th graduation is not a very big deal as far as graduations go. As parents our “graduation bar” has been set a little higher: graduation from college/university, and hopefully graduate school.  However, as our daughter walked across the stage to receive her “diploma”, I smiled proudly knowing that I just saw her take her first steps towards intellectual maturity and emotional maturity. Yes there will be some regression; there will be stops and starts, and perhaps resting upon a plateau or two.  However, both she and I understood the significance of the small and seemingly insignificant first step. She understood that she took the smallest steps towards independence and growing up.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Listening For The Secret, Searching For The Sound (Bobby Peterson & Phil Lesh -"Unbroken Chain")

It was Father’s Day this past Sunday.  No I didn’t get to play golf, nor did I even get to watch the U.S. Open (albeit a rather uncompetitive U.S. Open). I helped kids pack for camp. Then I went with my wife and kids to the mall in order to finish up camp shopping. In fact it wasn’t much of a Father’s day at all.  However there was a brief moment when my children appeared to feel somewhat disappointed on my behalf because we didn’t do anything “special for dad”.  During this brief moment between running errands, they asked me what I wanted for Father’s Day. I told them that the best gift would be for them to listen when I asked them to do something.  Normally they will ignore me or tell me that they are doing it but invariably forget to do it. But to ask my children to pick up their shoes so that no one trips over them, put something away so that it doesn’t get ruined, or to turn off the TV and study in order to do well on the math test, or to ignore the kids who teases rather than picking a fight; to have them listen would be amazing. To have my children listen and realize that if only they listened they wouldn’t trip over the shoes, they wouldn’t get into the fight, they would do well on their test. Oh if they would heed my words, their lives would be easier, things would turn out for the best. When I asked them why they don’t just listen to me, knowing that unfortunate things happened when they don’t listen, our son innocently looked at me and said that a sign reminding them of their father’s common sense and prophetic nature would be helpful.  Are you kidding?

This week we read from Parsha Korach. This week's Parsha is Korach. Korach was a relative of Moshe's. They both came from the tribe of Levi. Korach questioned Moshe's authority. He did not do this during a private meeting between individuals. Rather, Korach gathered 250 supporters, and then publicly challenged Moshe. Moshe tried to keep peace within the community, but to no avail. A divine test is administered, and Korach and his supporters fail. The earth swallows them up. However God is angry and a plague falls upon the people. They are communally punished for Korach's actions, their passive support, and their failure to bond together against Korach. Yet the people are still not convinced that Moshe and Aharon should remain in charge, only that Korach was unworthy. So a second divine test is administered this time with 12 rods stuck in the ground and almond branches resulting in Aaron’s staff, thus symbolizing that God has chosen Aharon to be the Kohen Gadol.  The Parsha concludes with God speaking to Aharon, and re-iterating his obligations in terms of the Mishkan, the Altar, and the Tent of the Meeting.

Moshe Rabeinu must have felt as if he was at wits end in dealing with B’nai Yisroel if he needed “divine intervention”.  There he was surrounded by Korach, Datan and Aviram and many unhappy people. All reason had failed, negotiations had broken down. Moshe had lost people. They ceased to listen.  So Moshe tells them:  V’Im Briah Yivrah Adoshem U”Fatztah Ha’Adamah et Piha U’VaLA Otam v’Et Kol Asher Lahem V’ayardu Chayim Sheola ViDatem Ki Ni’Atzu HaAnashim Ha’Eilah et Adoshem – But if Hashem will create a phenomenon, and the ground will open its mouth and swallow them and all that is theirs, and they will descent alive to the pit – then you shall know that these men have provoked Hashem” (Num. 16:30). The last time Moshe needed Divine Intervention was back in Egypt when dealing with Pharaoh. However, even that was part of God’s plan of hardening Pharaoh’s heart. These people had seen sign after sign after sign of God’s power, God’s kindness, and God’s desire to be engaged in a covenantal relationship. They had experiences the ten plagues, they revelation at Sinai, Miriam’s well, the Divine Cloud, the Pillar of Fire, and the Manna. Yet Moshe still needs to invoke the “awesome” with a Divine Test. Ramban explains that Moshe’s request was to prove the integrity of his words and that God had chosen him. The request was not to convince B’nai Yisroel to believe in God, rather it was to prove that they should believe in Moshe, trust Moshe, and listen to Moshe. Rather than B’nai Yisroel learning to listen to Moshe by falling down, getting hurt or failing, Moshe hoped that a divine sign would suffice.

Sadly, B’nai Yisroel were precisely that, Children. Listening, trusting and believing in Moshe Rabeinu, a fatherly figure was a struggle for these Children. For Moshe, he had to constantly earn B’nai Yisroel’s trust, and belief. Eventually, B’nai Yisroel, the second generation born in the wilderness will learn that good things happen when they listen to Moshe and bad things happen when they fail to heed Moshe. Until then, Moshe can either say “I told you so” when bad things happen to his people, or he can continually defend the people against God’s wrath and try to remain patient.  No I don’t get to invoke a divine test or sign. Hopefully, our children will grow up and pass the tests and see the signs that exist every day, the signs of common sense, the wisdom of experience and the faith in those who are trying to pass it down in a non-threatening, loving manner.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Anyway They Fall, Guess Who Gets To Pay The Price (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Throwing Stones")

The other day, our son was misbehaving. His poor behavior wasn’t particularly “over the top” horrible but he was over tired, aggravated and becoming more and more petulant. Whatever he was doing, I asked him once. He ignored me and went right on continuing his poor behavior. I asked a second time, but still nothing. By the third request a threat followed. Now his interest piqued and he was going to test me to find out if I was going to carry out my threat.  The punishment was meted out and now he very quickly stopped whatever it was he was doing, he very quickly apologized, and he very quickly tried to make up for his wrongdoing. I was having none of it. I explained that I wasn’t angry with him, but he was making matters worse.  I told him that it would be much better if he accepted the punishment, and learn from this little episode.  I also told him I would have much more respect for him if he quietly accepted his punishment as opposed to fighting about it, since acceptance would demonstrate a degree of maturity.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Shelach Lecha. The Torah portion begins with the narrative of Moshe gathering up twelve spies, one corresponding to each of the twelve tribes, and giving them the mission. The spies are told to investigate the quality of the land – fertile or barren, its inhabitants - warlike or peaceful, the nature of cities –fortified or open? The spies go and investigate and return. Ten spies offer a negative report and two, Caleb and Joshua, offer a positive report. B’nai Yisroel listen to the ten spies with the negative report and fell utterly overwhelmed at the prospect of entering into the land that Hashem promised them.  Hysterical, the people beg to return to Egypt. Hashem wants to wipe them all out immediately but Moshe defends the people just like he did after the Golden Calf. So rather than wiping out an entire people Hashem punishes B’nai Yisroel by prohibiting this generation from entering into the land. Then Moshe begin teaching B’nai Yisroel laws specific and premised upon settlement in the Canaan.  First Moshe teaches the Libation Offering as well as Challah. Next, Moshe teaches the laws of public atonement of unintentional idolatry, individual unintentional idolatry, intentional idolatry, a reminder about violating Shabbat and finally the laws of Tzitzit.

             However, it is B’nai Yisroel’s behavior after the negative report and after the ensuing riot that is so problematic on multiple levels.   After the initial plague and the Ten Spies are killed, B’nai Yisroel seems motivated to apologize and to do Tshuva. In order to prove their sincerity, they embark on a suicide mission without Moshe and the Ark and attempt to break camp and start marching off to Eretz Canaan. More of them are killed. However, this time it is the Amalekites and the Canaanites the kill B’nai Yisroel, not a plague. Why doesn’t Hashem accept B’nai Yisroel’s apology? Was the apology and Tshuva (repentance) sincere and heartfelt? What made them think to break camp without the Ark and Moshe? Was their attempt to begin marching with Moshe and the Ark more out of spite? Why didn’t they listen to Moshe when he told them that their foray would fail? Does Hashem bear any responsibility because he didn’t accept B’nai Yisroel’s Tshuva? The Or HaChaim (Chaim Ibn Attar-17^th Moroccan Rabbi/ Kabbalist/Talmudist, who migrated to Jerusalem) explains that B’nai Yisroels’ claim of Chatanu – We sinned (Num. 14:30) is not sufficient since they did not permit any time to elapse between apology and action. If it was sincere, then after B’nai Yisroel states Chatanu, they would have accepted their punishment and tried to better in the future. Instead the statement was motivated not so much by sincere remorse but motivated their own desires and regrets, regret at having forfeited their chance to enter into the land. The apology and their attempt to march with Moshe and the Ark proved Hashem correct: this generation would never be ready to enter into the land as they are too spiritually damaged from slavery.

Thankfully our son listened. He wisely understood that having his father’s respect was ultimately more important than the immediate gratification that he was forced to forego due to punishment. Sometimes “no “is not such a bad thing.  Sometimes “no” is a sign of concern and care. For slaves who had spent so much of their life being denied, “no” indicates denial. The generation of slaves never will understand that. When our son thought better of begging, and looked up and told me not to worry, that he wasn’t angry and he understood that the punishment was for his behavior but he knew that I still loved him; I knew that he had taken one more step in growing up.