Hoping Love Would Not Forsake The Days That Lie Between (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Days Between")

           This Shabbat, September 11th, marks the 20th Yartzeit of the September 11th attacks. Since those attacks, the world has been a very different place. For the survivors and for the families of the victims, life became very different. For a generation of young men and women, they have grown up in the shadows of war. For many others, we certainly remember where we were, perhaps we knew someone who had perished, but for the most part, over the course of twenty years, people mourned, many adjusted to the new normal and some did not. Having just celebrated Rosh HaShanah, having just stood before God in judgment, the days leading up to Yom Kippur are known as Aseret Yemai Tshuvah, Ten Days of Repentance. It is a time in which we seek forgiveness from our fellow man ultimately leading up to Yom Kippur in which we seek forgiveness from God. The idea of Teshuvah, of repentance, is derived from the Hebrew word Shuv or return. When seeking forgiveness from our fellow man, and from God, we are returning to the purest most divine aspects of our souls. The Talmudic Sages explains that one should engage in TeShuva before one dies. Since we don’t know when that will happen, we therefore should engage in TeShuvah every day. As a result, the Aseret Yemai TeShuvah and it focus upon Repentance and returning to God requires that we strive towards spiritual clarity, a state of being in which we learn that no matter the pain, anguish, and emptiness our souls can remain content and able to always focus upon the goodness in life. 

        On this Shabbat, known as Shabbat Shuvah, we read from Parsha Yeileich. Moshe experiences, perhaps for the last time, a moment of clarity. However, of all the moments of clarity including the Burning Bush, the Revelation at Sinai, the Personal Revelation when he saw the back of God while defending B’nai Yisroel following the episode of the Golden Calf; it is the moment of death to which we can all relate. It is at the moment of impending death that Moshe has perfect clarity. He sees and understands the anguish that his children will experience as they drift towards and away from their Covenant with God. He sees all that his life has been and he recognizes that while his life will be no more, there will be closure. Ki Yadati Acharei Motie Ki Hashcheit Tashchitun v’Sartem Min HaDerech Asher Tziviti Etchem V’Karat Etchem Ha’Ra’Ah B’Acharit Hayamim Ki Ta’Asu et Ha’Rah B’Einei Adoshem L’Hachiso B’Ma’Asei Y’deichem – For I know that after my death you will surely act corruptly, and you will surely act corruptly, and you will stray from the path that I have commanded you, and evil will befall you at the end of days, if you do what is evil in the eyes of HaShem, to anger Him through your handiwork (Deut.31:29). We should note that closure does not necessarily mean that the content of the closure will be positive, however, the process of closure is always positive.

          Our sages are adamant about the vital importance of closure. When a person engages in Tshuvah, a spiritual return to God,  to re-engage with the holy presence, or Vidui, the confession immediately prior to death; these actions are tantamount to a person who has returned to living a life of Mitzvot. In moments of clarity, certainly, such a moment exists at death, Moshe has the opportunity to make that moment holy, sanctified, an un-wasted moment. For the survivors, such moments of clarity come at a funeral or a life cycle event that normally would have been shared with a loved one. Sometimes, clarity occurs during the unveiling, when the survivor can look back over the course of the year and see how far he/she has come from the devastating loss of that day a year ago. Sometimes, clarity comes at one's impending death. Sometimes clarity comes at a yartzeit, twenty years later.

Peace,
Rabbi Lipson

I Know It's Just Another Trick She's Got Up Her Sleeve (Jerry Garcia - "Cream Puff War")

Our university daughter made an unscheduled return home this week. She should be in the middle of midterms and watching college basketball in New York where she attends university. Because of the Coronavirus, U.S. universities  have closed for the two weeks including Columbia, Princeton, Ohio State, Stanford, Washington St. and a variety of others totaling approximately 100,000 students. Our daughter’s school is one of them. So we flew her home and we will wait and see if the school re-opens as scheduled. Earlier this week, Israel declared that anyone, Israeli or non-Israeli, entering the country will automatically enter a 14 day quarantine period before resuming their time in Israel.  Italy has essentially closed down. There is a genuine concern about the spread of this virus. Yet information remains scant, there seem to be too few tests and the number of tests given has been compared to South Korea, another hard-hit area has been minuscule. The concern has been that widespread testing would mean that far more people are infected than currently reported. However without having all the information, without knowing who may or may not be infected, then diminishing the intensity of the virus’ spread becomes more and more difficult. This lack of information, this lack of transparency has become a snare or a trap that has paralyzed universities, school systems, numerous public events as well as financial markets.

This week’s Torah portion is entitled Ki Tissah. Parsha Ki Tissa is divided into several parts. The first part being the commanded to take a census of the population and collect a half-shekel for each person counted. The second part is the final blueprints for the Mishkan, the spices that are to be used, as well as the oil that is to be processed prior to burning. God then designates two men, Betzalel ben Uri from the tribe of Judah and Ahaliav ben Achisamach from the tribe of Dan to be the Master Builder and Designer of this national project. God reiterates the commandment of the Shabbat and reminds Moshe that anyone who violates it will be put to death and his/her soul will be cut off from the people.  The next part B’nai Yisroel commits the sin of the Eigel Zahav (Golden Calf): they built and then worshipped an idol. God wants to wipe out the people but Moshe urges God to reconsider. Moshe then descends the mountain and becomes just as upset as God, and he throws down the Shnei Luchot HaBrit – the Two Tablets of the Covenant. After a day or two when calm has been restored, Moshe re-ascends the mountain in order to pray for national forgiveness. Moshe then has an opportunity to experience another personal revelation even more powerful than the Burning Bush; Moshe has the opportunity to witness God’s passing before him. Dictated by God, Moshe chisels the Aseret Diberot into two new Tablets. He then goes back down the mountain. This time he descends with light and glory of God emanating from him.

During the moment when Moshe re- ascends the mountain seeking forgiveness for the people and Moshe experiences a personal revelation and watched God pass by; God re-iterates the covenant.  VaYomer Hinei Anochi Koreit Brit Neged Kol Amcha E’eseh Niflaot Asher Lo Nivre’u V’Chol Ha’Aretz U’VeChol HaGoyim - God said, ‘Behold, I seal a covenant: Before your entire people I shall make distinctions such as have never been created in the entire world and among all the nations; and the entire people among whom you are will see the work of Hashem – which is awesome - that I am about to do with you. HiShameir Lecha Pen Tichrot Brit L’Yosheiv Ha’Aretz Asher Atah Ba Aleha Pen Yiheyeh L’Mokeish B’Kirbecha- Be vigilant lest you seal a covenant with the inhabitant of the land to which you come, lest it be a snare among you. (Ex. 34:11-12)The lesson of the Eigel Zahav, (the Golden Calf) was that B’nai Yisroel mimicked the indigenous idolatrous people that were living in B’nai Yisroel’s covenanted land.  God reminded Moshe and by association reminded the people that they must not weaken the nature of the covenant. They must not deal with these nations for fear that B’nai Yisroel becomes ensnared (L’Mokeish), trapped, and weakened. How could these idol-worshipping nations ensnare B’nai Yisroel? The fact is these nations cannot trap or ensnare B’nai Yisroel unless B’nai Yisroel ceases its vigilance, if they start dealing with these nations, or if they think that peace with these nations will lead to the perpetuation of B’nai Yisroel. From God’s perspective is to remind Moshe that the desire to make peace with those who want to destroy B’nai Yisroel, is not peace but rather will lead to B’nai Yisroel’s destruction.

Yes, it has been wonderful having our daughter home for this past week. However, the circumstances for her return raise troubling concerns. We are a highly interconnected society. Individuals are incredibly connected but institutions are also highly connected to each other. The strength of that connection is only as strong as there are immutable facts, trust, and transparency. The snares and the traps are clear and obvious. Financial markets, public health, and welfare can easily be trapped when trust and transparency diminish. While such concern may seem too distant, the concerns are quite immediate. The lack of trust affects all those who have been advised to stay home, all those who have been quarantined, all those university and high school students who will now have to take classes online, all those who have lost portions of their retirement to the market decline and all those who have a loved one at risk. The result is that numerous aspects of daily life will become snared and trapped. In the meantime, we behave responsibly.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Anyway They Fall, Guess Who Gets To Pay The Price (John Barlow & Bob Weir - "Throwing Stones")

The other day, our son was misbehaving. His poor behavior wasn’t particularly “over the top” horrible but he was over tired, aggravated and becoming more and more petulant. Whatever he was doing, I asked him once. He ignored me and went right on continuing his poor behavior. I asked a second time, but still nothing. By the third request a threat followed. Now his interest piqued and he was going to test me to find out if I was going to carry out my threat.  The punishment was meted out and now he very quickly stopped whatever it was he was doing, he very quickly apologized, and he very quickly tried to make up for his wrongdoing. I was having none of it. I explained that I wasn’t angry with him, but he was making matters worse.  I told him that it would be much better if he accepted the punishment, and learn from this little episode.  I also told him I would have much more respect for him if he quietly accepted his punishment as opposed to fighting about it, since acceptance would demonstrate a degree of maturity.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Shelach Lecha. The Torah portion begins with the narrative of Moshe gathering up twelve spies, one corresponding to each of the twelve tribes, and giving them the mission. The spies are told to investigate the quality of the land – fertile or barren, its inhabitants - warlike or peaceful, the nature of cities –fortified or open? The spies go and investigate and return. Ten spies offer a negative report and two, Caleb and Joshua, offer a positive report. B’nai Yisroel listen to the ten spies with the negative report and fell utterly overwhelmed at the prospect of entering into the land that Hashem promised them.  Hysterical, the people beg to return to Egypt. Hashem wants to wipe them all out immediately but Moshe defends the people just like he did after the Golden Calf. So rather than wiping out an entire people Hashem punishes B’nai Yisroel by prohibiting this generation from entering into the land. Then Moshe begin teaching B’nai Yisroel laws specific and premised upon settlement in the Canaan.  First Moshe teaches the Libation Offering as well as Challah. Next, Moshe teaches the laws of public atonement of unintentional idolatry, individual unintentional idolatry, intentional idolatry, a reminder about violating Shabbat and finally the laws of Tzitzit.

             However, it is B’nai Yisroel’s behavior after the negative report and after the ensuing riot that is so problematic on multiple levels.   After the initial plague and the Ten Spies are killed, B’nai Yisroel seems motivated to apologize and to do Tshuva. In order to prove their sincerity, they embark on a suicide mission without Moshe and the Ark and attempt to break camp and start marching off to Eretz Canaan. More of them are killed. However, this time it is the Amalekites and the Canaanites the kill B’nai Yisroel, not a plague. Why doesn’t Hashem accept B’nai Yisroel’s apology? Was the apology and Tshuva (repentance) sincere and heartfelt? What made them think to break camp without the Ark and Moshe? Was their attempt to begin marching with Moshe and the Ark more out of spite? Why didn’t they listen to Moshe when he told them that their foray would fail? Does Hashem bear any responsibility because he didn’t accept B’nai Yisroel’s Tshuva? The Or HaChaim (Chaim Ibn Attar-17^th Moroccan Rabbi/ Kabbalist/Talmudist, who migrated to Jerusalem) explains that B’nai Yisroels’ claim of Chatanu – We sinned (Num. 14:30) is not sufficient since they did not permit any time to elapse between apology and action. If it was sincere, then after B’nai Yisroel states Chatanu, they would have accepted their punishment and tried to better in the future. Instead the statement was motivated not so much by sincere remorse but motivated their own desires and regrets, regret at having forfeited their chance to enter into the land. The apology and their attempt to march with Moshe and the Ark proved Hashem correct: this generation would never be ready to enter into the land as they are too spiritually damaged from slavery.

Thankfully our son listened. He wisely understood that having his father’s respect was ultimately more important than the immediate gratification that he was forced to forego due to punishment. Sometimes “no “is not such a bad thing.  Sometimes “no” is a sign of concern and care. For slaves who had spent so much of their life being denied, “no” indicates denial. The generation of slaves never will understand that. When our son thought better of begging, and looked up and told me not to worry, that he wasn’t angry and he understood that the punishment was for his behavior but he knew that I still loved him; I knew that he had taken one more step in growing up.   

If Mercy's In Business, I Wish It For You ( Robert Hunter, Mickey Hart - "Fire On The Mountain")

I am always amazed at my children when they assume that I am the most naïve soul, the most clueless parent and a complete fool. No they never say that to my face but every so often, their behavior belies the fact that they really think that I am naïve, clueless and foolish. Knowing that there is a very high probability of punishment and realizing that they have done something wrong or said something wrong; they first and very quickly apologize. My favorite part of this very quick apology is when my daughters (my son doesn’t attempt this type of apology as often) walk up to me and hug me and very sweetly first praise me and tell me what a wonderful father I am; then comes their apology. Are they serious? Do they really think that I am that naïve, or that easily manipulated? I look at my children and smile. First I tell them to stop trying to con me, and then I ask them one simple question. “Do you know why you’re apologizing?” A sheepish look is given and then I tell them to go upstairs and think about why an apology is necessary. A few minutes pass and then child seeking forgiveness comes down stairs ready to issue an apology. This apology is much different. There is no phone compliments, there is no artificially sweet tone. Rather my child looks me in the eye, explains the reason for the behavior, acknowledges that they did something wrong and explains that they understand that a punishment is necessary. With the apology offered and accepted and the punishment meted out. I give a hug, tell them I love them and then say “but you’re still getting punished”. Then we move on with our lives.

In this week’s Parsha, Ki Tisa, we read about Moshe and a nation entering into the apology process. We read about T’shuvah. The parsha begins with God telling Moshe to conduct a census and each adult should make a donation. Meanwhile, B’nai Yisroel had been getting quite worried while Moshe was up the mountain for 40 days and nights. So they had Aaron build a Golden Calf. Well needless to say, B’nai Yisroel’s idolatry (avodah zarah) did not exactly go un-noticed. God says “Let my anger flare up against them and I shall annihilate them…” (Ex. 32:10). Moshe was just as angry. “Moshe’s anger flared up, He threw down the tablets from his hands, and shattered them at the foot of the mountain” (Ex. 32:19). Moshe chastised the people and then went back up the mountain to placate God’s anger. After everyone calmed down, punishments were meted out. As God and Moshe began the re-issuing of the two tablets, something fascinating happened. God and Moshe grew closer. God had a new found respect for Moshe and his people, and Moshe had a new found closeness with God. So much so, that Moshe uttered the words “Hodi’eini nah et D’rachecha V’Eda’acha -Make your way known to me so that I may know You…Show me Your Glory” (Ex. 33:13:14). God re-issues his covenant with Moshe, and reveals himself to Moshe. God makes his way known to Moshe by uttering a formula, the Thirteen Attributes.

What an incredibly powerful moment! Moshe sought forgiveness, and learned how to do so in a thoughtful and honest manner. Certainly, there was punishment. Certainly, there was fear. Yet the process lent itself to a closer, more loving, respectful, and powerful relationship. This closer, more awesome relationship is a product of doing T’shuvah, repentance. As a nation we had never sought repentance. As a nation, we did not even know what repentance was. As a nation, as children, we were just told to behave. We had not tested the ramifications for not obeying. Now, B’nai Israel had made a grievous mistake. This mistake emanates from a maturing group. However part of the spiritual maturation process, like any growth process is falling down, making mistakes, and then knowing enough to seek repentance, to do T’shuvah. Moshe did this on behalf of B’nai Yisroel. God taught Moshe what honest, meaningful, and thoughtful repentance meant. God gave Moshe a code, a formula to be used by the nation after a long, thoughtful, meaningful repentant process occurred. Adoshem Adoshem El Rachum v’Chanun, Erech Apaim v’Rav Chesed v’ Emet, Notzer Chesed La’ Alafim, Noseih Avon V’Feshah v’Chata’ah v’Nakei-“HaShem HaShem, God Compassionate and Gracious, Slow to Anger, and Abundant in Kindness and Truth, Preserver of Kindness for thousands of generations, Forgiver of Iniquity, Willful Sin, and Error and Who Cleanses….” (Ex 34:6-7). The ineffable four lettered name for God is recited twice. The Or HaChayim (early 18^th century from Morocco), explains that using the four lettered name of God twice, denotes two types of mercy. The first type of mercy reflects the fact God is merciful before a person sins even though God knows that the person or the nation will ultimately commit a sin. This first type of Mercy is even directed to people who have done nothing, they have done nothing wrong nor have they engaged in any type of positive behavior. The second mention of the ineffable name of God reminds us that God is merciful even after we commit sin. God mercifully accepts repentance. Divine mercy is required for the universe to continue functioning. Without diving mercy, the scales of justice would always be weighed against mankind and we could never improve. Rather, we would just remain spiritually paralyzed.

As children, adults, and as a people, we all need a way to apologize in a meaningful, honest and thoughtful manner. We all need a safe haven to issue such an apology. Then when punishment is meted out, we understand that it is a result of behavior and not for being. No matter how long we remain negligent in our behavior and observance there is a way back towards God and Torah. However the impetus is upon us. We must take the first steps. We must go through some introspection, some tough honesty, and some self-reflection because that formula demands it. Otherwise the words are rather empty. Only then can we achieve meaningful repentance. Only then can we achieve a sense of self-contentment, inner peace and spiritual radiance. “When Moshe descended from Mount Sinai… Moshe did not know that the skin of his face had become radiant” (Ex. 34:29).

Peace,

Rav Yitz