Looks As Though Tomorrow I'll Do Pretty Much The Same (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Mission In The Rain")

Given all the turmoil going on in the world. Iran’s bombing of a Saudi oil field, Israel elections and inability to create a governing coalition, phone calls with Ukraine, pulling out of Syria and leaving the Kurds unprotected, an Impeachment investigation, Brexit, and elections here in Canada, let’s just say that I have some anxiety about the future in the “macro” sense of the word. I have a concern about the future over which I have no control. In our home, we are also experiencing some anxiety about the future or at least the next four or five years. With a daughter in Grade 12 (12^th grade if you speak American), Shabbat and Holiday meals with friends and family always include a question directed at her. “So, grade 12, that’s terrific, what are your plans for next year?” With that simple, innocent, innocuous question are daughter understands that she actually needs to think about this next stage of her life. I remind her that we call this idea, “The Future”.   She understands that she needs to make some self-assessments and ask herself some questions: What are her academic interests, does she want to take a Gap year in Israel? If so, which program and will that program offer credit that is accepted by a university? Does she want to attend university in Ontario or the Northeast United States? If she wants to go to university in the U.S., then she needs to sign up for standardized tests and study for these tests. There are a lot of decisions and it is incredibly overwhelming and without a plan, it is paralyzing.  The good news for our daughter is that her parents went through it, her older sisters went through it and even her aunts and uncles all went through it. Her friends at school and her friends from camp are also going through it. So she is not alone. When her mother and I have tried to discuss “The Future, and her Plan”, she smiles at us and, blessed with a biting wit and great sense of humor, she says in her most dead-panned delivery, “I plan to take next year off preparing for my gap year.” I smile and ask how she intends to finance her year of gap year preparation? We all laugh but we realize that we need to get our daughter to be more excited about the future rather than anxious and dreading it.

This Shabbat, we read from Parshat Ha’Azinu. The Parsha is poetry, a song that God had commanded Moshe to compose in the previous Parsha, VaYeleich. Composing this song was the final deed that God commanded Moshe. The song is the final prophecy that God told Moshe in the previous Parsha, VaYeilech.  As a song, it does not contain the most pleasant of lyrics, and it is not particularly uplifting or inspiration. The song does not offer such an optimistic future.  Rather, Moshe invokes Heaven and Earth to offer testimony to God’s prophecy and future punishment against his people.  Throughout Sefer Devarim, Deuteronomy, Moshe has taught the law and inspired B’nai Yisroel to choose fidelity to God and God’s Torah.  Choosing to follow would result in a reward. Choosing not to follow would result in a punishment. Now, during the final moments of Moshe Rabeinu’s life, the song suggests neither choice nor the results of that choice. Instead, we are told that we will choose badly and that we will be punished.  There is nothing explicit within the song that suggests or even offers a means by which we can do Teshuva (repent) and ultimately return to God. While intellectually, Moshe has taught that concept to B’nai Yisroel; here in the song that possibility is not explicit.

Only when he completes writing the song,  Moshe then transmits his words to B’nai Yisroel. His words offer a sense of hope, a sense of inspiration. He reminds B’nai Yisroel that even when they have grown distant from God, even though the resulting punishment will be brutal; there is still a measure of hope, hope for the next generation.  Simu Levavchem L’Chol Hadvarim Asher Anochi Mei’id Bachem Hayom, Asher T’Tzavoom et Bnaichem Lishmor La’Asot et Kol Divrei HaTorah Ha’Zot -  Apply your hearts to all the words that I Testify against you today, with which you are to instruct your children, to be careful to perform all the words of this Torah.  Ki Lo Davar Reik Hu Mikem Ki Hu Chayeichem Uvadavar HaZeh Ta’Arichu Yamim – for it is not an empty thing for you, for it is your life, and through this matter shall you prolong your days on the Land to which you cross the Jordan to possess it. In Moshe’s final moments, he reminds us that the key to our survival is to teach Torah to our children. Yes, according to the song, we will grow distant from God, yes we will engage in idolatry. Yes, we will be punishment. However, there will always be hope for the next generation if they are educated in such a manner that when it comes time for them to make a choice; they choose wisely, they choose God’s Torah.  Moshe reminds his people that the Torah is not empty. Rashi reminds us that if we find Torah to be empty and unsatisfying then the fault lies with us, Mikem.

Rashi seems to be empowering us. If the fault lies with us, then we have it within our power to do something about it. Parsha HaAzinu is always read at this time of year, a time when the Jewish people have stood before God to be judged for past behavior as well as received the message that the future is NOT set in concrete. Our behavior, our deeds can affect our future. I can see why some may find that to be an overbearing weight. At the same time, I find such empowerment to offer a bit of hope in dealing with the future. Sensing our daughter’s avoidance of dealing with the future by joking about a “gap year to prepare for a gap year”, we tried to think of something within our control that might help alter her outlook, something that would allow her to see herself in the future. Since our daughter was planning on spending the final days of the Sukkot Festival in New Jersey, we decided that I would pick her up and on our way home we would stop at a few University Campuses. Hopefully, just walking around, getting a tour, and speaking to with the admissions department, at least she will have a sense that the future is not as daunting as perhaps she envisions.  

Peace,

Rav Yitz

When You Have Done Your Best And Even More Is Asked Of You; Fate Will Decide The Rest (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia)

Every so often, someone in our home becomes keenly aware of the cultural differences between growing up in Toronto and growing up in New Jersey or California. Most of the time these cultural differences are cute little idiosyncrasies. Once in a while, they are enormous cultural clashes that leave us feeling as if we are caught between the proverbial “rock and a hard place”.  Such a cultural clash occurred this week as our 17 year old took her standardized tests that are required by most universities and colleges in the U.S. Such standardized tests are not required by any school that we are aware of in Ontario. These standardized tests have been a part of the U.S. educational fabric since the 1920’s. Indeed, they are a rite of passage. Not some rite of passage based upon symbolic ritual, but a rite of passage that, from the person going through it, can make or break dreams of acceptance into a desired college or university. Growing up with the standardized test as part of the High School experience, high school offer programs to help students prepare and guidance counselors offer students coping mechanisms to help them deal with the stress, and students, if they can afford it, take a course and learn how to take the test. However, as I reminded our daughter, just as my parents reminded me, that standardized tests are not a measure of the content of one’s character nor are these tests an indication of whether the person is a kind, decent, mentsche.   

This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity, and the brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brother’s return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers add that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including Jacob, the brothers, their wives, and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is reunited with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

For the ChaZaL, the Sages of Blessed Memory, the Sages of the Talmud, the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of Yaakov’s sons; the confrontation is much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. For ChaZaL, the word VaYiGaSh refers to Yehudah girding himself for war. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dresses Egyptian and speaks Egyptian embodies the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. However, according to the Or HaChayim that is not the plain meaning of the word. The Or HaChayim explains that if Yehudah was “girding himself for war” then he would not have spoken so respectfully and politely to Yosef: Bi Adoni “if it pleases my lord”. Nor would Yehudah be concerned with antagonizing Yosef’s anger. Instead,  Yehudah’s approaches  Egypt’s second in command not girded for war but confidently approaches bypassing guards and advisors and manages to speak quietly and privately into the minister’s ear. Make no mistake, when Yehudah tells the minister that he is just like Pharaoh when he speaks truth to power, Yehudah does it in a whisper, privately, without causing embarrassment to second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire.Yehudah’s approach to Joseph was based on several factors. First, he felt a deep sense of responsibility for his brother Benjamin. Second, he felt a deep sense of responsibility and commitment to his father. Third, he felt a deep sense of respect for the power and authority of the man standing before him and what that man represented.  As a result, Yehudah had to project the perfect blend of strength and humility. He had to speak politely yet forcefully. Most of all he had to make sure that he wouldn’t embarrass the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Only after this confrontation was Yosef able to reveal himself, and his character to the brothers.  Only then could he reveal the fact that he had no desire for retribution, no animosity but rather only joy, relief, and concern.

Character is revealed in a myriad of ways, but a standardized test is not one of them.  Rather character might be revealed by speaking forcefully without demeaning or embarrassing the other. Character might be revealed by showing forgiveness. Indeed, the tension and the confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef, perceived by the Sages to foreshadow the mystical tension between Israel and Egypt, quickly dissipated once Yosef revealed his identity. Only by revealing his identity and making himself vulnerable; was Joseph able to show the content of his character, the contentment in his soul rather than a desire for retribution. As I picked up our daughter from that very difficult day, I explained to her that just by sitting for the exam; college admissions people learned more about her as a person than some score. Buoyed by the experience and knowledge that she could get through it; she already wanted to know the next opportunity to write the test just in case her scores were not satisfactory enough.

Peace,

Rav Yitz