Now I Live In Fear Of Waking Up Each Morning (Don Rollins - "The Race Is On")

          I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I wake up, a bit anxious, and worried. So I get out of bed, head downstairs,  sip some tea, and look out at the night sky.   While looking at the stars, I find myself thinking about my aging parents and their health. I think about my children and where they are in their lives. I think about how to afford college tuition, and pay for an upcoming wedding. I look at the stars and think about where I am in my life, where I am in my career and the anxiety of working and earning a paycheck.  As I continue to look out into the night sky and sip my tea, I am reassured that we all go through a period of time where we struggle with the existential angst of life. For some reason, it occurs late at night while everyone else sleeps soundly.

          This Shabbat we read from Parsha Vayishlach. Yaakov and his family prepare to return to Yaakov’s home. However, they will first need to deal with an almost twenty-year grudge held by Esav. Yaakov will hope for the best and prepare for the worst as he prepares to meet his brother.  After their short reunion, Yaakov makes his way back to his ancestral lands. His mother passes away. He is blessed with another son, Benjamin, born to his wife Rachel. However, she dies in childbirth. His daughter, Dinah, has an illicit relationship with the prince of Shechem. According to the text, she is rendered “impure” and her brothers wipe out the prince and his village. Yaakov’s name is changed to Yisroel. God blessed Yaakov within the context of the covenant made with Avraham and Yitzchok. Yaakov’s blessing includes children, land, and wealth, all of the things that God promised to Yaakov’s grandfather – Avraham. The Parsha concludes with Yaakov and Esav seeing each other one last time in order to bury their father Yitzchok, and then we read the final psukim: a list of Esav’s descendants down to grandchildren.

           Parsha VaYishlach is replete with dramatic moments. Arguably among the most dramatic moments occurs the night before Yaakov meets his brother Esav after a 20-year feud, a moment in which  Yaakov’s life is forever changed.  VaYivater Yaakov L’Vado, VaYei’avek Ish Imo Ad A lot HaShachar – Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.  VaYar Ki Lo Yachol Lo VYiga B’Chaf Yereicho VaTeikah Kaf Yerech Yaakov  B’Hei’Avko Imo – When he perceived that he could not overcome him, he struck the socket of his hip; so Jacob’s hip socket was dislocated as he wrestled with him.  VaYomer Shalcheini Ki Alah Hashachar Vayomer Lo Ashaleichecha Ki Im Beiractani – Then he said, “Let me go, for dawn has broken. “ And he said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Vayomer Eilav Mah Shemecha VaYomer Yaakov – and he said to him, “what is your name” and he said “Jacob”. Vayomer Lo Yaakov Yei’Amar Od Shimcha Ki Im Yisroel Ki Sarita Im Elohim V’Im Anashim Vatuchal – He said, “No longer will it be said that your name is Jacob, but Israel, for you fought with the Divine and with man and have overcome.”  (Gen 32:25-29)  So if Yaakov was left alone, with whom did he wrestle?  The Torah tells us he wrestled with a man, however by the end of this brief narrative, Yaakov is asking the man to bless him.  There is no consensus among the classical commentators known as The M’forshim. Explanations attempting to define the “man” range from an angel, an angel of Esav, or an angel in the form of man. The language of the wrestling match only uses the Hebrew word “Hu” – in English "he". The Torah tells us that he held on, he didn’t let go, he blessed him, “he” wrestled with him. Yaakov’s name is only mentioned when his hip is pulled out of the joint, and Yaakov is about to be renamed. A more modern and psychologically aware understanding suggests that the “man” is Yaakov. Yaakov is struggling with himself. The reality is, During his sleepless night, during his “mid-life crisis” and his “moment of clarity”; Yaakov struggled with himself, and eventually Yaakov will accept his relationship with God and a sense of purpose in his life. This does not mean his life will be easier. It just means that Yaakov, with this renewed sense of purpose and identity, will be able to deal with all the troubles and heartache that are involved in living life.

          Yes, there have been more nights when my sleep is interrupted by worry and anxiety. Indeed, there are more worries, and there are more things that feel beyond my control.  There are more times that I worry about the direction of my life and whether this is the right path. No, we don’t necessarily have our hips pulled out of joint when we wake up in the middle of the night with this existential angst.  However, transitions can be filled with anxiety. It probably causes wrinkles and definitely causes gray hair. However, those struggles can serve a purpose. Those struggles can lead us to moments of clarity, and we understand that our lives do have a purpose, and our families will be ok and everything will be all right.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

Arabian Nights Our Gods Pursue Their Fights; What Fatal Flowers of Darkness Bloom From Seeds Of Light - Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Blues for Allah"

           This week was the 80th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor and the United States’ entrance into WWII when the world was divided between the forces of fascism/authoritarianism and democracy. Ironically, this week President Biden met with the largest democracies in Europe prior to his meeting with Europe’s most authoritarian regime: Russia. Russia has amassed approximately 100,000 soldiers and equipment along its border with Ukraine. It seemed that the President wanted to confront Putin using the language of sanctions and diplomacy, so he needed to know the position of Europe’s largest economies regarding any such diplomatic response. Also, the President responded to another authoritarian regime by announcing a diplomatic boycott of the upcoming winter Olympics in China. On a global diplomatic scale, we witnessed the confrontation or a clash between liberty/democracy and suppression/authoritarianism.

          This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity. Then Yosef and his brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brothers return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers explain that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including Jacob, the brothers, their wives, and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is reunited with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

          For the ChaZaL, the Sages of Blessed Memory, the Sages of the Talmud, the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of Yaakov’s sons; the confrontation is much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. For ChaZaL, the word VaYiGaSh refers to Yehudah girding himself for war. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dresses Egyptian, and speaks Egyptian embodies the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. However, according to the Or HaChayim that is not the plain meaning of the word. The Or HaChayim, Rabbi Chaim ibn Attar an early 16th Century Moroccan Kabbalist and Talmudist,  explains that if Yehudah was “girding himself for war” then he would not have spoken so respectfully and politely to Yosef: Bi Adoni “if it pleases my lord”. Nor would Yehudah be concerned with antagonizing Yosef’s anger. Instead, Yehudah approached  Egypt’s second in command diplomatically, not girded for war with his sword unsheathed or his gun drawn so to speak,  but confidently,  striding powerfully towards Yosef bypassing guards and advisors, and then quietly and privately speaking into the minister’s ear. Make no mistake, when Yehudah tells the minister that he is just like Pharaoh he is not paying the Minister a compliment. Yehuda speaks truth to power,  without subtleties, coldly and brutally honest. However, Yehudah confronts the minister in a  whisper, privately, without causing embarrassment to the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire.

          For the Talmudic Sages, Yehuda’s approach to this representative of Egypt was not an approach between two men but a clash between two cultures, a clash between idolatry and monotheism, a clash between two diametrically opposite worlds. Most of history, at least European History is a similar clash albeit, between religions or between sects of the same religion. This week, we are reminded that these powerful clashes are not solely confined between religions. These “cosmic” sorts of clashes also occur between the force of democracy and the forces of authoritarianism and tyranny. In either case,  depending on the diplomatic skills of both sides, such “cosmic” clashes can either exacerbate tensions or diminish tensions.

Peace,
Rav Yitz