It always impresses me when parents sacrifice for their children. Perhaps it re-affirms my own belief of what parents are supposed to do. Parents do for their children. Nowadays it seems that many parents do a lot for their children. Parents want their children to be well-rounded individuals participating in a myriad of activities. Parents want their children to fulfill their non-academic interests whether in athletics, drama, and community oriented activities. Very often, parents’ and children’s desire to do more outside after school non-academic activities. Parents schlep their children to soccer, cheer leading, band, scouts, and part time jobs. More often than not, both parents work. More often than not, parents work because they desire to afford the expenses of their children’s outside interests. Very often both parents work to just get by. Some commute long distances, wanting their children to grow up in the safe suburbs and in a beautiful home. The cost has been enormous. Typically, children don’t spend quantity or quality of time with their parents. Typically, everyone is running around so much, families forget what families, relationships and growth is about. Eventually, and very often, families grow further and further apart as priorities become misplaced.
This Shabbat we read from the second to last Parsha of Sefer B’Midbar, parsha Matot. Matot speaks of the laws of Oaths and Vows, God commands Moshe and B’nai Yisroel to attack and utterly destroy the Midianites. After all, the Midianites were the cause of the most recent plague because of their successful in bringing idolatry to B’nai Yisroel. This battle had all the elements of a holy enterprise as the priest Elazar and Pinchas went out to the battle. Soldiers needed to be spiritually purified afterwards because they had come into contact with death, so they remained outside the camp for seven days. Then the Torah informs us as to the boundaries that each tribe was to inherit.
There is one troubling moment when two tribes ask Moshe if they can remain on the eastern side of the Jordan instead of entering into Eretz Canaan. Each tribe had various sources of wealth, but the tribe of Reuven and Gad had an abundance of livestock. They were under the impression that the land of Yazer and Gilad, east of the Jordan River, was Mkom Mikneh, a place for livestock. So the leaders of each tribe approach Moshe and request to remain on the eastern banks of the Jordan River and not enter into Eretz Canaan. Atarot v’Divon v’Yazeir v’nimrah v’Cheshbon v’Elalei Usvam Unvo Uv’on Ha’aretz Asher Hikah adonai Lifnei Adat Yisroel Eretz Mikneh Hi V’lavadecha Mikneh – Atarot and Divon, Yazeir, and Nimrah, and Cheshbon and Elalei and Svam and Nebo and Veon (territorial names of various sites on the eastern and northeastern side of the Jordan river) the land that Hashem smote before the assembly of Israel – these lands are for livestock and your servants have livestock (Num. 32:3-4). These tribes wanted this land for one purpose, for the purpose of increasing their flocks, increasing their cattle. In the Torah scroll there is an empty space between the end of that verse and the next verse. This space does not connote the end of an aliyah, a chapter or the end of the parsha. This empty space connotes silence. It connotes an angry silence at Reuven and Gad’s request. Moses essentially sits there, seething in anger and waits. The two tribes then re-state their request using the formula Im Matzanu Chen b’Einecha – If we have found favor in your eyes (Num. 32:5). Again the request is couched in terms of cattle and wealth. Moshe gives an angry answer questioning these tribes’ priorities and their sense of responsibility to the rest Adat Yisroel, as well as their sense of ancestoral obligation. Finally, the tribes huddle together and restate their request a third time. Gidrot Tzon Nivneh Lmikneinu Po V’Arim l’Tapeinu – Pens for our flock shall we build here and cities for our small children, v’Anachnu Neichaleitz Chushim Lifnei Bnai Yisroel – We shall aim ourselves swiftly in the vanguard of the Children of Israel…(Num. 32:16-17). Finally, the tribes of Reuven and Gad understand. Inheritance of the land is not about flocks and wealth. It is about passing this inheritance, this land to the children.
The same holds true for Judaism. Judaism, Torah and Mitzvot are our inheritance. Our lives are not only and cannot only be about wealth, and extracurricular activities that come at the expense of Torah Mitzvot and Judaism. It took these two tribe three attempts to realize that they are responsible for the future. We are responsible for our children’s Jewish future. Our job is to pass Judaism, Torah and mitzvot to our children. Soccer, cheerleading, as well as our own extracurricular interests are not what we are supposed to pass down to our children, none of these insures their spiritual future.
As we are in the midst of the three weeks that will culminate in the commemoration of the destruction of the Holy Temple, let us get out priorities in order. As we are in the midst of our children’s summer vacation and we begin filling up their schedules, let us re-affirm what our priorities are and what our children’s will be. Make Torah our priority, then and only then can we make Torah our children’s’ priority.
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