As a father and a husband nothing causes me more pain than when I see my family experience turmoil. When I see my children become so frustrated with homework or overwhelmed by the stress of looking for a first job, I counsel them to do something else, something that empowers them. When I see my wife get overwhelmed by schedules, and all the things that mom’s get stressed about, I listen and focus upon something that offers her a sense of control. Whether it is to tell my oldest daughter to go work out, take a walk, focus upon something else or instructing my younger kids to take a shower or practice piano, and suggest to my wife to walk away from the stressor for a little while or take a break reminding her that it will still be around later; the point is to provide them with tools to manage the sense that they have no control. While these are just the typical types of turmoil and stress that is typical of a family, we probably know people whose lives always seem to be in a perpetual state of stress, anxiety, and turmoil. We have all known people who never seem content in their lives. That is not to say that such a person suffers from depression, or that such a person is a pessimist. Rather, it seems that something is missing from the person’s soul. That is to say the individual’s soul is incomplete. Maybe the lack of completeness is the result of a catastrophic loss such as a family member. Maybe dysfunctional behavior is a result of a lack of completeness or perceived incompleteness. Usually such a person appears on Dr. Phil and other self help talk shows. Usually the “malady” is a result of the soul as opposed to the body.
This week's Parsha is Yitro. Named after Moshe father in-law, who happens to be a Midyanite priest, the Parsha begins with Moshe leading B'nai Yisroel toward the wilderness of Midyan where he meets up with his father in-law, his wife and his two sons. Yitro suggests that Moshe should create a bureaucracy whereby others administer the small everyday rulings required of a judge. Difficult legal issues would be administered by Moshe. Moshe is then commanded by God to bring B'nai Yisroel to Har Sinai. For three days they will purify themselves, clean their clothes, not have marital relations, and purify their souls for a revelation. There with the mountain smoking and thunder billowing from the heavens, God begins to speak. B'nai Yisroel is absolutely petrified and fearing death, they beg Moshe to go up the mountain as their Shaliach (appointed messenger). Moshe ascends the mountain and receives the Aseret HaDibrot (the Ten Commandments), then descends. Upon his descent he tells B'nai Yisroel the Aseret HaDibrot. The Parsha concludes with B'nai Yisroel readily accepting the Ten Commandments, Moshe re-assures the people not to fear the thunder and the flames, God attests to the fact that B'nai Yisroel has accepted these commandments and then commands Moshe to build and altar of earth.
The Ten Commandments are bound by several themes. The first five commandments are God oriented. The second five commandments are people oriented. Violation of The Aseret HaDibrot is punishable by death. Through our modern perspective, we may not agree but we can understand the concept of capital punishment in terms of murder, testifying falsely, (in which false testimony leads to death), or even kidnapping. However how do we explain capital punishment as a punishment for not honoring your parents, keeping the Shabbat or committing Avodah Zarah (Idolatry)? Certainly violating Shabbat or violating the first five commandments that are all God oriented does not necessarily hurt someone else. Even not honoring ones parents might not warrant capital punishment in today's day and age. So how do we understand that each commandment is punishable by death?
We know that if we do not take care of our bodies, there is a chance our bodies will be hurt. If we don't eat right, get enough sleep, and exercise then our resistance is low and there is a chance we will get sick. If we don't fasten our seatbelts then there is a chance that we won't be able to walk away from an accident. If we drink too much and too often or if we smoke, we know that we are doing damage to our body. As human beings, we also have a soul. Just like we know to do things that help our physical existence, there are things that we do to help our spiritual existence. Failure to take care of our souls is also detrimental to our existence. Failure to take care of our souls leads to emptiness, purposelessness and a misguided existence. The first five commandments are about the welfare of our souls. The first five commandments give us a sense of purpose for own existence. The first five commandments fill our lives with meaning even when overwhelmed with the onslaught of the humdrum of everyday life. The first five commandments give us a sense of where we fit in the universe. The first five commandments are for each individual's soul and the soul's relationship to God.
In a sense, our own ignorance, our own anxieties, our own insecurities, our lack of purpose and our lack of focus imprison us. The Aseret HaDibrot offers us a means to transcend that which imprisons us. We are provided a blueprint to live a life that is part of a community (the second five commandments) and accounts for our own sense of self worth and purpose (the first five commandments). The Aseret HaDibrot teaches us, and commands to transcend time and space by adding meaning and holiness to our lives. The Aseret HaDibrot teaches us that our spiritual well being is just as important as our physical well being. When our soul is complete, filled with a sense of purpose, filled with love, and filled with the acknowledgment that there is God, we are able to transcend the physical. Maybe the time has come for us to acknowledge and accept that our souls must occupy the same priority as our bodies. Maybe the time has come for us to strike that balance between the physical and the spiritual. Perhaps the key to a life with minimal stress and turmoil, or feeling a lack of control and instead achieving a meaningful life is based upon living in accordance with a code that is the foundation to the perfect balance between the physical and the spiritual.
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