One of the more fascinating aspects of parenthood is the parent-teacher conference. For about 90% of the time they are all quite mundane and very repetitive. The teachers speak nuanced complement. “She is very social,” does not mean she has lots of friends. Rather it means that she talks a lot. “He is very creative” does not mean that he will write a then next great spy-thriller. Instead it means that he struggles to focus upon the mundane tasks that have been assigned. So, after we get past all the double-speak, the curriculum, and perhaps any concerns my wife and I may have; we ask the teacher about our children in terms of behavior. Do they listen? Do they answer back? Are they respectful? Are they put forth an effort in the classroom? Do they get along with the other children? Do they bully any one? Do they demonstrate empathy to the kid who is always being left out? When the teachers begin answering these questions, I always begin incredulously smiling. Certainly, I am proud to hear such positive answers to these questions. They listen? Even after the first request? I can’t believe it? They don’t answer back? “Unbelievable” I say to myself and the incredulous smile begins. They act respectfully? “My kids? Go figure,” I say to myself, and my smile spreads. “They get along with other children? Amazing, the teacher should have heard them fighting this morning”, I say to myself. My response contains none of these sarcastic thoughts, or the utter surprise that I feel. Rather I look at the teacher and ask if there was a way to take 2% of these “wonderful children” and give her 2% of the typical children that are in my home. I figure that we would then have a little more of the “sweet terrific” kids that they are in school, and less of the other stuff which they seem to save for me and my wife! My wife reminds me that as long as they are terrific in public, home is where they can “let their hair down”. Soothingly she reminds me that as they grow up, eventually there will be more consistency between how terrific they are in public and private. We just have to get through adolescence.
This Shabbat, we read from Parsha Terumah. In it, Moshe has re-ascended the mountain in order to receive the laws, and the blueprint, if you will, for the construction of the Mishkan, the portable tabernacle that will eventually permit B’nai Yisroel to gather, to make offerings to God and to provide a physical dwelling for God. If you are an architect, or if you are an interior decorator, this Parsha goes into tremendous detail about Mishkan’s construction and decoration. Before all the detail are presented for construction and decoration, God commands Moshe to tell B’nai Yisroel that the funding for this vital public works project will come from each individual V’Yikchu Li Terumah Mei’eit Kol Ish Asher Yidvenu Libo Tikechu et Terumati – They shall take for me a portion, from every man whose heart motivates him, you shall take my portion (Ex. 25:2). The holiest spot within the community, the most sacred area is based upon each and every individual apportioning a percentage of their assets to the construction of, decoration of, and maintenance of the Mishkan. How incredibly equitable! Everyone is involved and everyone has a stake in the outcome.
There were no “dues” per se. Rather each individual had to look within him/herself and be brutally honest. Each individual would give as they saw fit. This was a sacred moment between the individual and God. The object was not to give due to social pressure but rather for the holiest of reasons. However such a process requires tremendous honesty. Such a process requires us to be sure that our outside matches our inside. Such a process forces the individual to “mean what you say and say what you mean”. Such a process forces the individual to not only “talk the talk” but walk the walk”. This message is subliminally hinted at when we read about the design of the Aron, the Ark that is to hold the Shnei Luchot Ha’Brit – the Two Stone Tablets upon which are written the Ten Commandments. V’Asu Aron Atzei Shitim – they shall make an Ark of acacia wood (Ex.25:10). V’Tzipitah Oto Zahav tahor Mibayit U’Michutz T’Tzapenu V’Asita Alav Zeir Zahav Saviv – You shall cover it with pure gold, from within and from without shall you cover it, and you shall make on it a gold crown all around (Ex. 25:11). It makes sense that the outside of the Ark is covered with gold since that will be viewed by the people. However what is the reason for lining the arc with pure gold from the inside? Rabeinu Chananel, the 11th century North African Talmudist, comments that this arrangement symbolized the Talmudic dictum that a Torah scholar must be consistent; his inner character must match his public demeanor, his actions must conform to his professed beliefs. However there is no reason to limit such sentiment to Torah scholars. Kol Ish Asher Yidvenuy Libo Tikechu et Terumati – every man whose heart motivates him you shall take my portion. Every man should be motivated to be consistent. Every person’s actions should conform to his/her professed beliefs, and his or her beliefs should be expressed by behavior.
Everyday, we have an opportunity to be consistent to our beliefs and our values. Everyday we have an opportunity to demonstrate to our children that our behavior matches our beliefs and values. Everyday we face the struggle to keep the pure gold that exists within our insides the same as the pure gold that exists on the outside. The object is to never tarnish that which lies within nor that which lies with out. So every opportunity we have to express holiness, whether Mitzvot l’Ben Adam L’Chavero – Mitzvot that pertains between people or Mitzvot L’Hashem – Mitzvot that pertain to God, must be taken advantage of. For in our neglect to do so, we tarnish the most precious aspect, our souls’ purity and holiness.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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