I had a few days off from work, so
I took the opportunity to spend Shabbat with my wife and kids at a summer camp
in the Poconos Mountains of northeastern Pennsylvania. My nine year old son was
very excited to see me. He also managed to strike a balance between spending
time with me and being with his bunk. My 13 and 11 year old daughter, on the
other hand, were a very different story. After lunch, I met them towards the
middle of the camp, where other parents were visiting their children. We sat at
a picnic table and talked. I couldn’t stop looking at them, listening to them
and realizing that in the few weeks they have been at camp, there is a
noticeable difference. They sounded just a little bit older, they sounded a
little bit smarter, they sounded just a little bit more mature, and they
sounded just a little bit more confident than they ever have been. Of course,
my 13 year old daughter kept asking “what time is it?” Clearly she didn’t want
to be there, she preferred to have been with her friends and with her bunk, as
it should be. As both my daughters kissed me good bye, and headed off to their
bunks and Shabbat activities, I realized just how much my children have
learned, and how their learning has made them more mature and confident young
people.
This
Shabbat is Parsha V’Etchanan. It is always the Parsha that immediately follows
Tisha B’Av (the Ninth of Av), the day in which we commemorate the destruction
of both the First and Second Temple. The Parsha is a continuation of Moshe
Rabeinu’s lecture to Bnai Yisroel. While last week’s Parsha, Devarim featured
Moshe gently castigating and criticizing Bnai Yisroel; in Parsha V’Etchanan,
Moshe urges and cajoles Bnai Yisroel to learn from their hardships. Moshe
explains that the hardships that Bnai Yisroel already faced and will face in
the future are a direct function of their following God’s Torah. Good things
will happen when they followed God’s Torah, and not so good things will happen
when they don’t follow God’s Torah. Failure to follow the Torah will result in
exile, however there will always be the opportunity to learn from those
mistakes and return to the land and to the relationship with God.
Moshe re-iterates the Ten
Commandments and his experience at Sinai. Then Moshe explains that while he can
speak of the Ten Commandments and share his experience, Bnai Yisroel will now
have to pass this information and these commandments in a very different way
than sharing a firsthand experience of the revelation of Sinai. Instead, this
generation, the generation that did not stand at Sinai, will have to teach the
meaning of these words, ideas, and commandments, to their children. V’Shinantam Levanecha V’Dibarta Bam, B’Shivtecha,
B’Veitecha, Uv’Lectecha VaDerech, U’Veshachbecha U’vKumecha. – And you shall teach them [these words]
thoroughly to your children and you shall speak of them while you sit in your
home, while you walk on the way, when you go to sleep and when you arise. The
sages explain that a person’s devotion to Torah is the priority given to
teaching it to one’s children.
As parents, we teach our children
many things. Sometimes we teach them things consciously and formally; sometimes
we teach them things inadvertently and quite unintentionally. However, when we
consciously decide to teach our children, we obviously only teach them those
ideas, those values, and information that we think is relevant and
important. Yes my wife and I teach our
children Torah, its rules, its ideas, and its values. We also teach them to
have judgment, confidence, and to learn from their experiences. Generally, we
have no idea if they learn their lessons. Usually it is quite impossible to
watch our children grow up in front of our eyes. However visiting my children
at camp, I received a gift. I saw firsthand, that my children have learned,
they have matured a little, and they have grown up just a little.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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