As an American living in Toronto, it is not often
that I feel like a minority. With the Winter Olympics about to begin and all
the Canadian Olympic Team merchandise on sale; I am reminded that I am an
American living in Canada. When Rob Ford drinks too much and makes a fool of
himself, I am reminded that I didn’t vote for him because I am not a Canadian
citizen. When I turn on the cable sports
channels and find curling, hockey and darts and no college basketball games, I
am reminded that I am an American living in Toronto. Recently I had the opportunity to spend some
time Indigo bookstore at the Yorkdale mall. I walked around the store and
again, I was reminded that I am an American living in Toronto. The American
History section was so small. The Politics section had two shelves dedicated to
U.S. politics. In the sports section, there were numerous shelves dedicated to
hockey and numerous Canadian teams. As an American, I am used to seeing shelves
of baseball, and teams such as the New York Yankees, the Green Bay Packers or
major college athletics. Despite feeling like left out of Canadian society
while at the bookstore; I was reassured that something remain constant both in
an American bookstore and a Canadian bookstore. The largest and most frequented
section of the store was the self-help section, exactly like in America. Like
the bookstores in the States, this particular bookstore had a variety of
self-help topics such as: weight/obesity, divorce, parenting, spirituality,
dysfunctional families, addiction, and happiness. Frankly, I found it very re-assuring that at
least from a merchandise perspective, Canadians obsess on the same stuff as Americans.
I felt right at home. Yet, I wondered why
Self-Help section was this most frequented section of the store? Maybe it is
because we are concerned and even obsessed about relationships. Self-help books
are all about relationships: relationships with ourselves, our families
of origin, our children, our mates, our bosses, and even God. All these books
essentially deal with the same two issues: solving problems in relationships or
adding meaning to one’s life and one’s relationships.
Parshah Mishpatim is all about relationships,
solving relationship problems, and adding meaning to one’s life and to those
relationships. Following last week’s revelation, and receiving the Aseret Dibrot (Ten Commandments), Moshe
and B’nai Israel receive the original self-help manual. It includes how to
behave towards slaves, how to behave towards parents, fellow community members
and newcomers, how to resolve conflicts, how to make legal decisions, how to
take care of the land, and how to thank God for the harvest of the land. Upon
hearing all this self-help advice, Bnai Yisroel responds in unison: Na’Aseh V’Nishmah - we will do and we will obey (Ex. 24:7). This is the perfect response for
former slaves. Slaves were trained to obey. Free people however, were not
trained to obey. Free people need to think and understand. Perhaps, B’nai
Yisroel should have responded differently precisely because they were free. As
a free people, perhaps B’nai Yisroel should have answered, “We’ll raise our
consciousness about it, and then attempt to integrate it into our lives.”
We can understand B’nai Yisroel’s
response in another manner. The issue is the meaning of the word V’Nishmah-(and we will obey). V’Nishmah also means we will listen or we will learn. We
will do and we will listen, or we
will do and we will learn is not the typical response for recently released
slaves. This is a response of free people seeking self-help. To listen or to
learn assumes a greater emphasis on the “self” rather than the help. “To obey”
assumes greater emphasis upon the “help” rather than the “self”. To obey is an
action that slaves or a king’s subjects engage in. Free people listen and free
people learn. If we understand Nishmah
as “listen” or “learn”, then B’nai Yisroel seems to have accepted God’s laws on
their own accord. As a result, B’nai Yisroel accepts its responsibility as “a kingdom of Priests and a holy nation
(Ex. 19:6). As a designated nation of
priests, as a designated holy nation, B’nai Yisroel would lead by example.
B’nai Yisroel would integrate behavior into their daily life. Then they could
learn it and teach it. After we begin the action, then we can delve into the
deeper philosophical meaning of the action. B’nai Yisroel effectively serves as
a living example of self-help.
Parsha Mishpatim’s self help section, reminds us that “self help” is not only about
big ideas and platitudes. The real self help material and information is required
for the nitty gritty and details of life. That holds true in our relationships
with our husbands and wives, our children and even God. Self help is not
confined to the “once in a while” or “the three times a year”. Rather it
requires us to work at it every day. So it is no wonder that Parshah Mishpatim concentrates on the mundane
everyday aspects of human relationships. Unlike the numerous self help manuals
that encourage us to buy the next installment of the manual or the next book in
the series. Bnai Yisroel’s response in
Parsha Mishpatim reminds us that at some point one needs to stop talking and
actually do the work, engage in the activity, or refrain from the activity as
the case may be. Not until we Na’Aseh,
until we “Do”, will the “self-help” ever
really help us.
Peace,
Rav
Yitz
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