Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The A B C's, We All Must Face, And Try To Keep A Little Grace (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Touch of Grey")



We finished celebrating Pesach and our home will soon return to normal. For a week, our kids lived on Matzah Pizza. For a week they managed to get by without a bowl of cereal for breakfast. As Pesach departed and our family did Havdalah, our children quickly screamed “Bring on the Chametz” and desperately wanted us to order Pizza. Too bad the wait time for Pizza was nearly two hours which was way past everyone’s bedtime.  The disappointment was palpable and they asked what could be done to solve the problem. From their perspective, a solution would have been to run to the store, buy pizza dough, and make pizza for everybody.  However Mommy and Daddy’s solution was a bit different.  “You can have Chametz in the morning! Now go to bed.” Their request as absurd as it was revealed so much about human nature.  When a restriction is lifted, or permission granted, it is human nature to want to be first in line. When a new I Phone is released, a group of people are always in line to be first. When tickets go on sale for Beyonce, apparently people stand in line. I remember when I was in college near Philadelphia and the tickets for the Grateful Dead Philadelphia shows went on sale, a group of us quickly organized ourselves to camp out for the few days so that we could get tickets. People want to be first in line to a premiere and some run to be first on the block to buy the newest car model or gadget.  Although it may be human nature to desire and strive to be first, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is smart or even cost effective to be first. Sometimes we need to be smart enough and mature enough to put aside human nature.
This week we read from Parsha Kedoshim, which literally means Holiness.  Hashem speaks to Moshe telling him that he should gather all of B'nai Yisroel and tell them that every aspect of life must be infused with Holiness. From the treatment of the stranger, the widow, the orphan, an employee and even our parents, there is a way to behave that is infused with Holiness and there is a way to behave that is less infused with holiness.  We are reminded that certain relationships are inherently unholy. We are reminded that certain types of worship are unholy as well. Throughout the Parsha the Mantra Ki Kadosh Ani Adonai EloheichemBecause Holy am I the Lord your God is repeated. Of course the underlying message aimed at B’nai Yisroel was to remind them that they needed to strive beyond human nature. They needed to act differently than other people. Being involved in a covenantal relationship with Hashem means striving towards holiness; something that is beyond human nature.  
This idea of acting beyond human nature and striving for something more is emphasized at the very beginning of the Parsha. Imo V’Aviv Tira’u Your mother and Father you shall fear.  This Commandment appears quite similar to the one of the Ten Commandments: Kabeid et Avicha v’ Et Imecha Honor your father and mother. However there are a few differences. The first difference is that Parsha Kedoshim talks about “Tira’u” or Fear, while Ten Commandment version talks about “Kabeid” or Honor. The Second difference is the order of the parent. Regarding the commandment that invokes “fear”; “mother” appears before father. Regarding the commandment that invokes “honor”; “father” appears before “mother. At first glance we might think that the Torah is telling us that the Father is more important than the Mother hence the father should be honored first. Rashi, the 11th Century French commentator and vintner, citing the Talmud Kiddushin 31a explained that “mother precedes father, because God knows that the father is feared more than the mother. In the Fifth commandment, which commands us to honor our parents, the mother, who generally comforts the child and is therefore honored more, is preceded by the father.” Generally speaking, children are more fearful of fathers therefore the Torah commands us to be fearful of mother. Generally speaking children honor their mothers more therefore the Torah commands us to honor fathers.  Striving towards Holiness means that we are supposed to transcend our human nature and instinct.  By doing so, we emulate God and are able to achieve holiness.
Our kids eventually had a pizza after Pesach. They eventually got their fill of Chametz. No it wasn’t the first thing they did after Pesach. By waiting, even for one extra night, there was a deeper appreciation of what they were doing, rather than the rush of being the first do it. Maybe the first bite of Pizza was not necessarily a holy act, but having them wait a few extra hours to begin ingesting Chametz added a little holiness to what is otherwise a rather mundane event known as cleaning up after Pesach.

Peace,
Rav Yitz

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