It is crunch time in our
house. With Pesach out of the way, my wife’s attention has turned towards our
youngest daughter’s bat mitzvah. It seems as if there is a never ending list of
things for my wife to do. Dresses, shoes, caterer, Shabbat meals, theme, centerpieces,
colors, hotel rooms for some out of town guests, Shabbat hospitality for other
out of town guests, her speech, and seating arrangements need to be accounted for. One of the big
questions that I am sure most people are wondering about is if my wife worries
and deals with all these variables then what do I do? My job seems much
simpler. I study with our daughter. We study about the topic of her choice. We
learn together and I help her write her speech and present it. Of course, if my
wife doesn’t see me learning with our daughter, or she doesn’t see our daughter
writing her speech or practicing her speech, well then it’s just another thing
for her to worry about and focus upon. With so much to do, so much to worry
about both very important and, let’s be honest, somewhat less important and
even the stuff that is downright narishkeit and irrelevant (my opinion only and
I am no party planner); my poor wife wakes up in the morning already feeling
overwhelmed stating her hope beyond hope that she can “start crossing things of
the To Do List!” Honestly, I try to help. I say things like, “Don’t worry, it
will be terrific and our daughter will be wonderful. Our guests will have a
lovely time.” Or I will say something like, “Why are you worrying so much? We
have done this twice before and it worked out fine.” While those words may be
comforting, (although I am starting to think that they are not), the fact that
I say it while sipping coffee, and watching the first few minutes of Morning
Joe (my news show) at 6:15am, acting, as if, according to my wife, I don’t have
a care in the world, might not be the best way to deliver that message. Before she says another word or gives me a
look, I just remind her that she needs to trust the moment, and trust in her
guests. Everything will be wonderful, not necessarily because my wife has
worried about and taken care of every detail, but rather everything will be wonderful
because our daughter will speak passionately and intelligently, and our guests
are sharing in our daughter’s simchah.
This
week, we read, Parsha Behar. For the
last several Parshiot, the Torah has provided us with numerous examples of how
to elevate our lives if we happen to be Kohanim, or if we happen to be anything
besides Kohanim. For the past several weeks, the Torah has provided us numerous
examples of holy relationships and unholy relationships as well as more sacred
times and less sacred times. Now, in
Parsha Behar we are taught how the land of Eretz Yisroel can elevate our lives
in holiness, Shmitta (the seventh year.) Just like the seventh day (Shabbat) is
a day of rest. Shmitta is a year of rest. Every seventh year, all
outstanding debts are cancelled. The land lies fallow. Slaves and servants are
set free. Agriculturally speaking, there is a benefit. Resting the soil for a
year allows for replenishment of nutrients. Rabbinically speaking, less time
devoted to agricultural concerns meant more time devoted to Torah study!
Perhaps most important aspect of Parsha Behar is implicit
in the Mitzvah associated with Shmitta, the notion of Bitachon, trust in God.
In Behar, we may consider this notion of Shmitta to be quite nice. All debts
are cancelled. On the other hand, if the land is to lie fallow, what would
people eat? We are urged to trust God. V’Tziviti
Et BirChati Lachem Ba’Shanah Ha’Shishit V’Asah Et Hatvuah Lishlosh
Ha’Shanim - I will ordain My blessing
for you in the sixth year and it will yield
a crop sufficient for the
three-year period (Lev. 25: 21). Just like God provided a double portion of
Manna on Friday and thereby guarantee enough food for Shabbat, so too God will
“guarantee” enough produce in the sixth year. B’nai Yisroel won’t starve in the
seventh (Shmitta) year.
In
the process of climbing the rungs of the Kedusha ladder, we ultimately need to
learn to trust God. Successfully achiever each level of Kedusha confirms that
sense of Bitachon, Trust. We trust that God is Holy; otherwise we would have no
need to be holy. We trust that everything pure and good is attributable to God.
Otherwise, we would constantly defile ourselves. We trust that we are created
in God’s image. Otherwise, there is no reason to treat people with kindness
first. Trust in God, in a sense, is a spiritually individualized Mishkan. The
Mishkan was built so that God would dwell among us. Similarly, if our purpose
is to attain higher and higher levels of Kedusha, we trust that the end result
is God’s dwelling within us. From where I sit first thing in the morning
sensing my wife’s stress while I drink coffee and watch Morning Joe, I know
that if we have done our job and put in the effort, then we have to learn to trust
that our daughter is prepared, trust the fact that our guests are there to
share in our daughter’s simchah, trust that our family just want to beam with
pride that their sister, granddaughter, niece, and cousin has achieved this
milestone, then everything else, (except paying for it), will take care of
itself. Of course my wife reminds me how easy it is for me to “trust” since I “trust”
that everything will be taken care of and will work out beautifully because she
did it all. Well I guess she is kind of right.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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