We just returned from a week long family holiday. We
drove to New York City. We spent the conclusion of Chanukah and the days
leading up to last Shabbat with Manhattan. We stayed with my sister and her
family in their apartment. We spent time with our eldest daughter who lives and
works in New York. We saw friends. We saw many of New York’s tourist
attractions. However there was a moment
when I had a vision of the future, based upon two small seemingly dismissive
incidents while in New York. The first incident occurred on Christmas Eve. My
brother in law generously took both families, including his and my sister’s 4
year old daughter, and my family including our four children to his favorite
steak restaurant. There we were, nine of us my sister and her family, me and my
family. Such a gathering is very unique for us since gathering such as this
include our parents. However they were back home. We ate, drank, talked and of
course took a couple of pictures and sent them immediately to my parents. When I spoke to my mother later that week,
she commented how wonderful it was to see her children and their respective
families gathered together spending time together. It brought her a sense of
contentment and nachas seeing that. Later that evening, my children and I went
to a movie down in Greenwich Village. As we walked to the subway, the four of
them walked together a couple of steps ahead of me. They boarded the subway
together. Even when we left the movie theatre and returned to the Upper West
Side, the four of them: the 24 year old, the 14 year old, the 12 year old, and the
10 year old walked together almost as one. I watch them as I walked behind.
Seeing my children walk together along the sidewalks of New York gave me a glimpse
of a possible future of their lives without me. That glimpse provided me with a
sense of calm about the future of my family.
This morning we read from Parsha Vayechi. This is
the final Parshah in the book of Breishit. The Parsha begins with Yaakov
calling Yosef and making him swear an oath that he will not be buried in Egypt.
He also blesses his grandson’s Ephraim and Menashe. He gathers his sons
together and offers each son a blessing or a prophecy. Yaakov dies and his sons
take him out of Egypt and fulfill their vow. They bury their father in Hevron
alongside Avraham and Yitzchak and Sarah Rebecca and Leah. Afterwards, the
brothers fear that Yosef will finally take vengeance for their mistreatment of
him. Yosef doesn’t, and the brothers and their families continue to grow and
prosper in Goshen. As Yosef prepares for his death, he makes his brothers vow
to take his bones out of Egypt and bury his bones in Eretz Canaan. Upon
completing the Parsha, we stand and recite the words Chazak v’Nitchazeik – From
strength to strength, we go forward in strength.
Immediately after Yaakov requests that he be buried
in Hevron with his ancestors and then blesses Yosef’s son’s Ephraim and
Menashe; the Torah tells us that he gathers the rest of his sons together in
order to bless them. However the Torah manner in which Yaakov makes the request
seems rather puzzling and perhaps redundant VaYikrah Yakov El Banav VaYomer - Then Jacob called for his sons and said: Hei’Asfu V’Agida Lachem Eit Asher Yikrah Etchem B’Acharit HaYamim –
Assemble yourselves and I will tell you
what will befall you in the End of Days. HiKavtsu v’Shimu Bnai Yaakov VShimu el Yisroel Avichem – Gather yourselves and listen, O sons of
Jacob, and listen to Israel your father. (49:1-2. Yaakov tells them to “Assemble yourselves” then to “Gather yourselves. What is the difference
between Hei’Asfu (Assemble yourselves) and Hikavtsu (Gather yourselves)? The former comes from the three lettered root ASaF
which means to harvest. The latter comes
from the three lettered root KaVaTz which means ‘to press together’, ‘collect’.
Ideally, ripe produce is harvested. Jacobs’ sons were ripe, they were
spiritually ripe and ready to receive Jacob’s blessings. The survival of this
family, required that the sons press together spiritually, to put aside their
individual grievances and remains together otherwise the family and ultimately
the nation will not survive. The rest of the Torah, and certainly the Books of
Judges, Kings and Prophets reflect the struggles and tensions of trying to
remain assembled and pressed together. Eventually, the future kingdom under David
HaMelech will fail to remain united once his Son, Shlomo HaMelech dies. While
Yaakov tried to share his vision with his sons of the “End of Days”; it must
have been re-assuring that they came together, listened to their father, and
prepared themselves for the impending slavery and eventual freedom of their
children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
I suppose that with families of our own, when we
gather with my sister’s family or my wife’s sister’s family, it suggests a
ripeness. It suggests that we are old enough physically and spiritually to
appreciate the importance of HeiAsif,
of Assembling ourselves together. We know that it brings nachas to our parents,
to see their children and grandchildren together. When I see children HiKavtzu gathered together, they are
learning that the secret to their respective family’s survival is creating
bonds whereby they share the future together. Seeing my children go through gathering
and assembling process gives me a hint of my of children’s possible future and
the joy of watching a family grow up and thrive together.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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