I Swear To It On My Very Soul: If I Lie May I Fall Down Cold (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia "Reuben and Cerise")

Well, we are in the final week of 2017. It seems that three main themes have captured the fancy of media. First, every news show and every sports show has done the proverbial "look back at 2017."  Both highlights and lowlights are re-lived in the form of a top ten list. Second, because we are concluding one year and about to begin a new year, advertiser focus upon the theme of resolutions. Of course, the two biggest resolutions are weight loss and exercise. As a result, we have become acutely aware of the weight loss companies offering special programs in order to join their weight loss program. Also, we have noticed numerous pieces of exercise equipment and gadgets on sale. Several psychologists were interviewed explaining that the number one cause of people's failure to fulfill their resolution is that the resolution itself was unrealistic and too big. Instead of setting a goal of losing 60 pounds over the course of a year, maybe a more realistic goal would be 25-30 pounds.  Or, instead of looking at the resolution and becoming daunted by its enormity; break down that resolution into manageable parts. Losing 5 pounds each month (60/12) is much more manageable than focusing on 60 pounds. As I was on the elliptical machine, I began to think about resolutions in general and specifically the similarities and differences between resolutions and vows/promises. The biggest difference, of course, is that a resolution does not seem to be binding like a vow or a promise. Nevertheless, a resolution does indicate a conscious decision focused upon one's self as opposed to a promise or a vow to another.

This Shabbat, we read from Parsha Vayechi. This is the final Parshah in the book of Bereishit. The Parsha begins with Yaakov calling Yosef and making him swear an oath that he will not be buried in Egypt. He also blesses his grandson’s Ephraim and Menashe. He gathers his sons together and offers each son a blessing or a prophecy. Yaakov dies and his sons take him out of Egypt and fulfill their vow. They bury their father in Hebron alongside Avraham and Yitzchak and Sarah Rebecca and Leah. Afterwards, the brothers fear that Yosef will finally take vengeance for their mistreatment of him. Yosef doesn’t, and the brothers and their families continue to grow and prosper in Goshen. As Yosef prepares for his death, he makes his brothers vow to take his bones out of Egypt and bury his bones in Eretz Canaan.

Sharing his dying wish with Yosef is not enough. Yaakov wants Yosef to swear an oath that he will fulfill his father’s final dying wish. To demonstrate one's "swearing a vow," Yaakov tells Yosef: Im Nah Matzati Chein M’Einecha If now I have found grace in your eyes Sim Nah Yadcha Tachat Yereichi put, I pray of you, your hand beneath my thigh v’Asita Imadi Chesed v’Emet –, and deal kindly and truthfully with me. However, Yosef does not do as his father asks; Yosef does not put his hand beneath his father's thigh as an indication of swearing an oath. Rather,  Vayomer [Yosef] said, Anochi Eseh Chidvarecha – I personally will do as you said. The text clearly conveys that Yosef did not make a "vow" to Yaakov. Yosef did not put his hand beneath his father's thigh as an indication of making a vow. Rather his said that he would take care of the matter personally.  Rabeinu Chananel, a tenth-century Egyptian Talmudic commentator, briefly and succinctly that Anochi Eseh M’Atzmi – I will take care of it myself hence there is no need for swearing an oath. Rav Ovadia Sforno – the 16^th Italian Renaissance Torah Commentator adds a more in-depth comment on the fact that Yosef did not at first swear an oath to Yaakov's final request. Anochi Metzad Atzmi Eseh Kidvarecha B’Chol Chai – As far as I am concerned, I will do as you say with all my power. Yosef's response suggests an out in case he cannot fulfill the dying wish. "I will do everything in my power" suggests that if Yosef entreats Pharaoh to let him bury his father in Canaan, and Pharaoh refuses; then Yosef still fulfilled his father's final wish since Yosef did everything he could.  Yaakov senses he hesitation and tells Yosef: Hishava Li – Swear to me, Vayishava Lo – and He [Yosef] swore to him [Yaakov]. Yaakov does not want any excuses nor does he want Yosef relying solely upon his own relationship Pharaoh. Pharaoh will understand a son swearing an oath to his dying father and would never refuse a request of that nature. However Yosef is not a servant, he is the second most powerful person in Egypt and he Yaakov’s favorite son. As a free individual, Yosef is only bound by his conscience. He is free to question. The servant, on the other hand, has no such ability. He is bound to fulfill his obligations whether forced or unforced. The Malbim, the 17 ^th-century commentator, explains that Yosef was acting like a son should. Yosef was trying to act out of filial responsibility, based upon his own free will rather than a servant who is bound by oaths.

It appears that there are moments where one’s own volition is not enough in fulfilling a final wish. So Yaakov makes Yosef swear the oath so that way when dealing with Pharaoh it is clear that he is acting as a servant to his father.   Yaakov wanted Yosef to be completely powerless and act solely on behalf of his father. Under normal circumstances, according to our ChaZaL – our Talmudic sages, we are already bound by Torah; there is no need to accept artificial/external bonds. The bonds of Torah and mitzvot should be enough.  The bonds of Torah and mitzvot are designed to be reachable goals, objectives that require a little effort but are all within the realm of the possible.  There is no need to pile on and make observance more difficult and more taxing. So I finished my final workouts of 2017 feeling better about myself, knowing that my vow to lose weight has been fulfilled and now I have the much more difficult vow of maintenance. 

Peace,

Rav Yitz

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When You Have Done Your Best And Even More Is Asked Of You; Fate Will Decide The Rest (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia)

Every so often, someone in our home becomes keenly aware of the cultural differences between growing up in Toronto and growing up in New Jersey or California. Most of the time these cultural differences are cute little idiosyncrasies. Once in a while, they are enormous cultural clashes that leave us feeling as if we are caught between the proverbial “rock and a hard place”.  Such a cultural clash occurred this week as our 17 year old took her standardized tests that are required by most universities and colleges in the U.S. Such standardized tests are not required by any school that we are aware of in Ontario. These standardized tests have been a part of the U.S. educational fabric since the 1920’s. Indeed, they are a rite of passage. Not some rite of passage based upon symbolic ritual, but a rite of passage that, from the person going through it, can make or break dreams of acceptance into a desired college or university. Growing up with the standardized test as part of the High School experience, high school offer programs to help students prepare and guidance counselors offer students coping mechanisms to help them deal with the stress, and students, if they can afford it, take a course and learn how to take the test. However, as I reminded our daughter, just as my parents reminded me, that standardized tests are not a measure of the content of one’s character nor are these tests an indication of whether the person is a kind, decent, mentsche.   

This week’s Torah portion is VaYigash.  The confrontation between Yosef and his brothers is about to occur. The Parshah begins with Yehudah approaching his brother Yosef, whom he does not recognize, and pleads for Benjamin’s freedom.  Yosef reveals his identity, and the brothers hug and kiss each other. They cry and they forgive each other. Yosef asks about his father’s welfare. The brother’s return to their father, Yaakov, and tell him that Yosef is alive. The brothers add that everyone, the entire clan, should go down to Egypt. So this clan, including Jacob, the brothers, their wives, and children, heads down to Egypt. Yaakov meets Pharaoh. Yosef’s family is given a parcel of land outside of Egypt in a place called Goshen, where they can tend to their flocks. Yaakov is reunited with his beloved Yosef in the land of Goshen.

For the ChaZaL, the Sages of Blessed Memory, the Sages of the Talmud, the confrontation between Yosef, the second most powerful man in Egypt, and Yehudah, the leader of Yaakov’s sons; the confrontation is much more than just two brothers meeting up after a couple of decades. For ChaZaL, the word VaYiGaSh refers to Yehudah girding himself for war. Remember, Yehudah does not yet know the identity of the man standing before him. For all Yehudah knows, this man, who looks Egyptian, dresses Egyptian and speaks Egyptian embodies the most powerful empire and the most dominant culture in the world. However, according to the Or HaChayim that is not the plain meaning of the word. The Or HaChayim explains that if Yehudah was “girding himself for war” then he would not have spoken so respectfully and politely to Yosef: Bi Adoni “if it pleases my lord”. Nor would Yehudah be concerned with antagonizing Yosef’s anger. Instead,  Yehudah’s approaches  Egypt’s second in command not girded for war but confidently approaches bypassing guards and advisors and manages to speak quietly and privately into the minister’s ear. Make no mistake, when Yehudah tells the minister that he is just like Pharaoh when he speaks truth to power, Yehudah does it in a whisper, privately, without causing embarrassment to second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire.Yehudah’s approach to Joseph was based on several factors. First, he felt a deep sense of responsibility for his brother Benjamin. Second, he felt a deep sense of responsibility and commitment to his father. Third, he felt a deep sense of respect for the power and authority of the man standing before him and what that man represented.  As a result, Yehudah had to project the perfect blend of strength and humility. He had to speak politely yet forcefully. Most of all he had to make sure that he wouldn’t embarrass the second most powerful man in the Egyptian empire. Only after this confrontation was Yosef able to reveal himself, and his character to the brothers.  Only then could he reveal the fact that he had no desire for retribution, no animosity but rather only joy, relief, and concern.

Character is revealed in a myriad of ways, but a standardized test is not one of them.  Rather character might be revealed by speaking forcefully without demeaning or embarrassing the other. Character might be revealed by showing forgiveness. Indeed, the tension and the confrontation between Yehuda and Yosef, perceived by the Sages to foreshadow the mystical tension between Israel and Egypt, quickly dissipated once Yosef revealed his identity. Only by revealing his identity and making himself vulnerable; was Joseph able to show the content of his character, the contentment in his soul rather than a desire for retribution. As I picked up our daughter from that very difficult day, I explained to her that just by sitting for the exam; college admissions people learned more about her as a person than some score. Buoyed by the experience and knowledge that she could get through it; she already wanted to know the next opportunity to write the test just in case her scores were not satisfactory enough.

Peace,

Rav Yitz