While rushing around getting children ready for school, while our eldest daughter was busy preparing her candidate to win her respective primary, while a daughter was learning in Jerusalem; each one at some point stopped what they were doing and watched two funerals. Because of the technology, internet, and YouTube, our children were able to watch these funerals at more convenient times, or pause rather than sitting through each funeral which was a multi-hour affair. One funeral for was for Aretha Franklin and one funeral was for Senator John McCain, both funerals celebrated their lives, both funerals honored their lives, and both funeral services clearly were organized in the final months of each of their respective lives. From the music to the choice of speakers and even to the eulogies themselves; one could hear and see Ms. Franklin and Senator McCain’s stamp of approval. As my children watched and listened, I shared with them that if the type of music and the songs that I would want to be played and sung. In reference to my children speaking at my funeral, I told them that if they could say ¼ of the beautiful things that Meghan McCain said about her father in regards to me; then I will be eternally and gratefully dead. Needless to say, my kids weren’t so happy with me, but they understood what I was telling them. Even now, when I think about the individual who knows that death is imminent, and has the courage to share his/her thoughts and transmit his/her wisdom; I am inspired. I hope that whenever my time comes, I pray that I will be aware enough so that I can tell my wife and children and if I am blessed to have grandchildren, that my life has been a blessing because of them.
This week’s Parsha is the Parsha Nitzavim. According to the Aggadah, this the recounting of Moshe Rabeinu’s last day of life. Unafraid of his imminent death, he gathers his family: Rosheichem, Shivteichem, Zikneichem, v’Shotreichem, Kol Ish Yisroel, Topchem N’Sheichem V’Geircha Asher B’Kerev Machanecha Meichotev Eitzecha Ad Sho’eiv Meimecha – The heads of your tribes, your elders, and your officers, all the men of Yisroel; your children, your women, and the stranger who is in the midst of our camp, from the woodchopper to the one who draws water (Deut. 29:9-10). Moshe imparts his last vestiges of wisdom to his children, his people. Moshe wants to make sure that everything is in order when he dies and Joshua takes over. Moshe truly has been blessed. He has had the blessing of old age, and here God has granted him the gift of saying goodbye in perhaps the most wonderful fashion. God has commanded Moshe to say his goodbyes and impart the final vestiges of wisdom.
We are taught that death is a part of life. Yet many of us are afraid of death. Many of us believe that we should shield our children from death, sadness and loss. However, when we read Parsha Nitzavim, we learn that while impending death is sad, death in the manner of Moshe’s can take on an aura of holiness – of Kedushah. It is in holiness that we attain the highest level of life, a life that is directly connected to God. When death comes like this, from God, with an opportunity to say Goodbye- with an opportunity to impart wisdom to one’s children, death is not mundane, death is not ordinary, but rather holy and part of life, the final expression of holiness in a very physical endeavor. When we talk about strength, we, unfortunately, think of the person who lifts a lot of weight. We think of the person who doesn’t cry, who remains stoic if he/she is all torn up inside. At this time of year, from Elul through Sukkot, when we recite the 27th Psalm and conclude with the words Chazak v’Ya’Ameitz Libecha, v’Kavei El Adoshem – Strengthen yourself, and he will give you courage; and hope to HaShem!, we now understand what it means to strengthen oneself. Moshe had that kind of strength. To be aware of the end of life, to prepare for it, to draw loved ones toward and tell them how we feel is the epitome of courage.
In a sense, Aretha Franklin and John McCain’s funeral wasn’t just a sacred ritual in which respect was paid to the deceased. Even in death, through music, through words of children, through words of friends and through the words of respectful rivals who eventually became friends, these two fallen giants, these two icons and heroes managed to do something incredibly holy. These two giants, and iconic figures reminded us to reaffirm life no matter how difficult, no matter how troubling. The Jewish People are less than a week from celebrating Rosh HaShanah, (Jewish New Year). Rosh HaShanah is also known as Yom HaDin (Judgment Day). So while there is joy at arriving on the brink of a new year, perhaps there is a bit of anxiety while awaiting Judgment. Whatever the upcoming year may bring; I pray that I have the courage to impart my wisdom to my children, and tell my wife how much she has blessed my life.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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