There are some life lessons that recur so frequently that it seems almost impossible to learn from them. Yet, for some, it is impossible to learn. As a husband, a parent, a child, as a friend, as an educator, as a Rabbi or a community leader one of the most vital and recurring lessons of Presence. Sometimes, the Lesson of Presence is a phone call, a tweet, or an email. Sometimes the Lesson of Presence is a formal statement. Sometimes it is physically showing up. The fires out west have been horrific, lives lost. My wife’s family lives in both northern and southern California. We call them because we are concerned, but we also call them to let them know that we are thinking of them, that we are present. With a daughter in learning in Jerusalem and friends throughout Israel, when we say “stay safe”, it reminds them that we care and that we are sensitive what has been happening in Israel with hundreds of rockets being fired from Gaza. With a daughter who has finished an election cycle and was driving alone from Florida to Washington DC; I spoke to her several times so she shouldn’t feel so alone (it probably drove her a bit crazy but she should know that she wasn’t alone). As Jews, we pay a Shiva visit to a mourner, we do Bikur Cholim- we visit the sick. On a Yartzeit, (the anniversary of a person’s death), the loved one might visit the grave. To be “Present” is among the most basic and simplest acts that one person can demonstrate to another. Sometimes it may require words or a hug. Sometimes it can be done in silence. For a leader of a Nation, the Power of Presence is about the easiest thing to do. On one hand, it is incredibly symbolic, it creates a sense of good will, and it goes a long way in reminding the person or the group that feels alone and abandoned that they are not.
This week we read from Parsha VaYeitze. This week we read from Parshat VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov will find out what it means to be alone in the world. He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the last time, he will have to face being alone. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father in- law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus upon Yaakov life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living and all the trials, tribulation, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully, he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Yet throughout the narrative he will come to understand the Lesson of Presence. At the beginning of the narrative, he feels alone but will quickly sense God’s presence. He will learn the importance of Presence when his wife begs for a child, when a son helps his mother, and when a family prepares to finally leave an untenable situation.
Yaakov acknowledges his loneliness at the beginning of the Parsha. He doesn’t even feel connected to God. First God speaks to Yaakov in the dream: Ani Adoshem Elohei Avraham Avicha, V’Elohei Yitzchak HaAretz Asher Atah Shocheiv Aleha Lecha Etnenah U’LeZarecha – I am Hashem, God of Abraham your father and God of Isaac; the ground upon which you are lying, to you will I give it and to your descendants (28:13). In the dream, God offers Yaakov protection wherever Yaakov goes. In a sense, God volunteers to be Yaakov’s God as well. When Yaakov wakes up from the dream he still does not feel reassured: Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi Ushmarani Baderech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holech v’Natan Li Lechem L’echol Uveged Lilbosh, vShavti b’Shalom el Bet Avi v’Hayah Hashem Li Le’lohim. If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and clothes to wear, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God. Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi Ushmarani Baderech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holech v’Natan Li Lechem L’echol Uveged Lilbosh, vShavti b’Shalom el Bet Avi v’Hayah Hashem Li Le’lohim. If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and clothes to wear, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God. Yaakov equates the feeling of abandonment or a lack of presence with a lack of demonstrable kindness. It will take nearly two decades, but as Yaakov is able to act selflessly, demonstrate kindness, he will feel less alone, and less of a sense of abandonment. As Yaakov is more present in others’ lives, he will sense God’s presence in his life.
In the first chapter of Genesis, we learned that humankind was created in God’s image. That is to say, human beings have the capacity to emulate Godly qualities. The Talmudic Tractate Sota 14 a explains that clothing the needy is a Godly quality because God clothed Adam and Chava; visiting the sick is a Godly quality because God visited Avraham while Avaraham was healing from circumcision (the beginning of Parsha VaYeirah); comforting the mourner is a Godly quality because God comforted Isaac (end of Parsha Chayei Sarah) and burying the dead because God buried Moses (end of Deuteronomy 34:6). Emulating God requires us to act selflessly, to remove the self from the equation and to do for the other. Fundamental to each of these Godly actions, these acts of kindness is the notion of being present. Every act of kindness is an expression of God’s Presence. Perhaps it is the simplest activity for a person to do – be present, empathize, and in doing so, God’s presence is self-evident.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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