One of the most important days of the year growing up in my Western Upstate New York home was Thanksgiving. As a child, and later a college student, my family, grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin would always gather at my parents’ home. My mother would make a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner: turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, corn muffins, coleslaw. We would watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade, take a walk or play catch with my father, and if the weather was unusually warm (more than 10 degrees) we would go play nine holes of golf. When we finally sat down to dinner, my mother insisted that we go around the table sharing the one thing that we were most thankful for in the past year. Even while living in Toronto, our children always insist on driving to their grandparents for Thanksgiving. Whether we are there for only the day or for the long weekend, our children are always thankful for sharing that time with their grandparents. This year will be a very different Thanksgiving. Yes, we will have the same food. However, only two of our children will be with us. My parents will remain in upstate New York. My mother-in-law will remain in California. There will be no Macy’s thanksgiving day parade. One daughter will be in Israel, and one daughter will be with a college roommate sharing Thanksgiving dinner in New Jersey (she will arrive home on Sunday). The pandemic has forced us to adjust our Thanksgiving expectations. So in response, we will take some time prior to eating our traditional Thanksgiving feast; we will gather on Zoom, and yes, my mother will insist that we do around sharing the one thing for which we are thankful in 2020, in this year of a pandemic, in this year of so much pain and suffering for so many.
This week we read from Parsha VaYeitze. This week we read from Parshat VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. Yaakov will grow up before our very eyes. He will leave home. Find a girl, get married. Actually, he will have several wives. He will get a job. He will have children, he will continue to work for his father in law and take on all the trappings of raising a family and living a middle-class life. Eventually, he will grow restless enough and realize that it is time to return home to his parents, and home to his covenantal land.
While we learn about Yaakov, we will also learn something about his wives: Rachel and Leah, his children, and many of the family dynamics. Yaakov is ready to become a father. Sadly his beloved Rachel is unable to conceive. However, Leah is able to conceive and gives Yaakov children even if Yaakov does not love her as he loves Rachel. VaYar Hashem Ki Snuah Leah Va’Yiftach et Rachma, V’Rachel Akara - and Hashem saw that Leah was unloved, so he opened her womb, but Rachel remained barren. (29:31) For the next three Psukim (29:32-34), we read that Leah conceives and gives birth to sons. Leah names each son in succession and offers a reason for their name. She named the first Reuven because Hashem Ra’u- saw that she was unloved compared to Rachel. She names the second Shimon because Hashem Shama - heard that she was unloved. She named the third Levi because after three sons Yaakov will become YiLVeh - attached to her. After three sons, clearly, nothing had changed. She continued to feel unloved compared to her sister, and her husband wasn’t any more attached to her because she had given birth to these three sons. However in the fourth verse, 29:34, she conceives and gives birth to a fourth son. This time something is very different. VaTahar Od Va Teiled Ben VaTomer Ha’PaAm Odeh et Hashem Al Kein Kra’ah Shmo Yehuda V Ta’amod Miledet - Again she conceived, and bore a son, and declared, ‘This time let me gratefully praise Hashem’ therefore she called his name Yehuda (Judah) then she stopped giving birth (29:35) Yehudah received his name because Leah understood gratitude. There was no ulterior motive, no agenda. Instead, a woman gave birth and was able to appreciate the blessing she just received: a happy healthy baby. Rashi explains that Leah understood that each of the wives was supposed to bear three sons. When Leah conceived and gave birth to a fourth son, she realized that she had received more than her share. Because she received more than her fair share she could appreciate her blessing and feel gratitude. The Talmudic Sages (ChaZaL) explains that this was the first time that anyone had demonstrated any type of gratitude towards God (Brachot 7b). Certainly, God had provided blessings and miracles prior to Leah’s giving birth a fourth time. Yet, only now she is capable of gratitude? For Leah, according to the commentaries, gratitude is a result of a sense that one has received something beyond a fair share, beyond one’s “portion”. This attitude contradicts the Sages who teach in Ethics of the Fathers (Pirkei Avot 4:1) that a rich person is someone who is happy with their portion. Underlying the Sages' understanding of being “rich” and of being “happy” is the idea that the person has gratitude for his/her portion.
Leah was blessed to have not one but four sons in those four Psukim. However, she didn’t feel blessed, she didn’t feel “rich”, or “happy” until she was able to express her gratitude by naming the fourth son Yehuda. The irony wasn’t lost on her sister, Rachel. She would have been thankful to give birth to one son, let alone four. Leah needed to give birth four times before she could get past her pain, and appreciate what she did have. Indeed, there has been discomfort, and pain during this past year. Our picture of Thanksgiving, of a multigenerational family gathering together to share a meal and giving thanks, had to be altered. This year, the thankfulness is distilled into the simplest level of gratitude. We are all thankful for health, for being able to share even this moment, even if it’s remote, with our loved ones. Sometimes having gratitude for even the smallest stuff gives us a bit of perspective in terms of what is most important.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
No comments:
Post a Comment