With the new year set to begin on Shabbat, there is a wonderful opportunity to look back on the year that was, and hold out hope for the year that will be. Looking back at the year that was, the tragic loss of life, and the continued spread of Covid, some might question his/her faith in God. In looking forward to the new year, some might put his/her faith in God, in mankind, in both, or in none. Some may question faith. For others, their faith remains firm and unbending. With two University age daughters home (one on winter break and one online heading into final exams) and our 12th-grade son who cannot wait to go to university, there is a lot of discussion regarding “authority”, “faith”, and there is a lot of questioning “authority” and “faith”. During one discussion with our children, I was reminded of an event that took place several years ago. A congregant came into my office crying. “Rabbi, Rabbi, I have horrible news and I don’t know what to do!” My thoughts immediately went to the worst-case scenarios: her husband had been stricken with a terminal illness or that she discovered that one of her children was addicted to drugs, or she was deciding to get out of her marriage. Of course, all of my “worst-case scenario” thoughts were particularly troubling because this family was a pillar in the community. They were an extremely generous family, generous with their money and their time. They were in Shul all the time. Each of their two children was a mentsche, smart, Jewishly aware, and observant. I could not imagine what possible could be the crisis that this distraught woman brought into my office. “What is it?” I asked. With a heavy sigh, and eyes welling up in tears she explained that her son, who was a sophomore in college (2nd-year university students for Canadians), called her the other night and he told her that he no longer believed in God. I breathed a sigh of relief and said, “For a minute there some horrible tragedy had occurred in your family. So, Nu? What’s the problem? What’s the crisis?” She could not understand why I was smiling. Her son’s declarative statement expressing disbelief in God, apparently made her feel inadequate as a parent and challenged the foundation of her own belief system. I explained that for an intellectually honest and curious college student to think and express such thoughts is not only healthy and normal but also vital to the process of developing and strengthening faith. Most 19-year-old young men feel neither mortal nor limited. Everything is possible, and they feel all-powerful as if they can “handle anything”. Under such circumstances and with such an attitude, who needs God? Instead of a belief in God, there is a profound belief in oneself.
This Shabbat is Parsha V’Eira. In this Parshah, God reassures Moshe after Pharaoh and mocked and dismissed both him and Aharon. God explains the plan to Moshe, that Pharoah’s heart will be hardened after each plague but eventually Pharaoh will capitulate. God explains the various stages of redemption. The plagues begin. We are supposed to understand that each of these first seven plagues is more severe than the previous plague: Blood, Frogs, Lice, Wild Beasts, Animal plague, Boils, Hail. Moshe requests that Pharaoh allows B’nai Yisroel to worship God for three days, Pharaoh sometimes acquiesces sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes he asks Moshe to pray on his behalf and sometimes he doesn’t. One thing is clear, that whenever Pharaoh gets his way (a plague ceases), something that would clearly indicate the power of God, Pharaoh acts almost like a child. He reverts right back to his nature.
Hail, the seventh plague, devastates the land. Hail destroyed any living being, person or animal that was outside during the plague. Witnessing the devastation and destruction of land and life; Pharaoh’s belief system appears to have evolved. Rather than dismissing the plague, rather than demonstrating a self-centered attitude in which Pharaoh is all powerful, Pharaoh seems to have acquired a degree of humility. Vayishlach Paroh Va’Yikrah L’Moshe U’le’Aharon Vayomer Aleihem Chatati HaPa’am Adonay HaTzaddik v’Ani V’Ami Harsha’im – Pharaoh sent and summoned Moshe and Aaron and said to them, “This time I have sinned; Hashem is the Righteous One, and I and my people are the wicked ones (Ex. 9:27). Pharaoh asks Moshe to pray on his behalf to end the plague. He seems to be genuine in his belief. By acknowledging sin, by explicitly calling God the Righteous One, Pharaoh not only acknowledges the fact that God exists but admits that Pharaoh is not a God. Unfortunately, as soon as the plague ends, Pharaoh sins again and refuses to let B’nai Yisroel leave. However, now Pharaoh is choosing to ignore that which he has come to legitimately accept. The Parsha concludes with Pharaoh committing the sin of ignoring God based upon his own willful stubbornness not ignoring based upon the failure of recognition.
Pharaoh, like the 19-year-old college student, obviously believes he is the center of the world. Time and History begin and end with him. Pharaoh, like the 19-year-old, believes he is immortal and without limitations. At times, it is our process as well. We constantly question and wonder about God. Like Pharaoh, ultimately our belief in God cannot be solely confined to experiencing miracle after miracle. Rather our belief, our complete and devoted faith in God will evolve from the small things in life. Unlike Pharaoh, hopefully that 19-year-old son of my former congregant learned what so many learn as they mature. Hopefully, he has a sense of mortality, hopefully he understands that he is not all powerful, hopefully he has come to learn to rely on on others. Hopefully, he understands that he is not the center of the universe, nor has much control over the universe. Hopefully, as he developed his own faith, he was able to sense God in the presence of his life and his family’s life.
Rav Yitz
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