Since The End Is Never Told We Pay The Story Teller Off In Gold (Robert Hunter & Jerry Garcia - "Lady With The Fan")

 For the most part our children have figured out how to balance being American and living in Toronto. Sure they notice subtle cultural differences. For the most part, our kids' citizenship is not a "front and center" sort of issue in their world.  However in the days immediately preceding the United States Thanksgiving; our children have to explain Thanksgiving to their friends. Because we take them out of school, our kids need to explain Thanksgiving to  their teachers as a reason for an upcoming absence, a reason to get homework assignments and a reason to try and reschedule tests.  Sometimes the teachers are understanding yet curious, “a real Thanksgiving dinner that we see on TV?”  Our children explain that yes, their family gathers together, eats Turkey and all the trimmings, goes around the table telling family and friends one thing for which they are thankful. When our children’s friends ask why we celebrate Thanksgiving, why it’s such a big deal in the U.S., and why it’s such a big deal for Jews, our kids tell them that Thanksgiving has a story. It’s not just a meal, it’s not just a family gathering, watching a parade, a football game (maybe, if it’s not too boring!).  There is a narrative, a story, and the story is taught to every little child in every school and the story gets repeated over and over for decades and centuries and the story, is transmitted from one generation to the next, transcending economic class, transcending ethnic background, transcending social status. The story, the narrative highlights one the fundamental values upon which North America was built: immigrants coming to the New World fleeing religious persecution. The narrative includes the reasons for the special meal and includes a food that is distinct to North America, or at least it was distinct in the 1600’s: Turkey.

This Shabbat we read from Parsha Chayei Sarah, “the Life of Sara”. It is a rather odd name for a Parsha that discusses’ Sarah’s death, and Avraham’s funeral preparations including: a eulogy, crying, and the purchase of land for burial. The focus then shifts from Sarah’s death and Avraham’s caring for her to Avraham’s son Yitzchak and getting on with his life. Avraham instructs his servant to find a wife for Yitzchak from among his ancestors. The servant head back to Avraham’s homeland, he asks’ God for a sign so that he knows which girls is the right one for his master’s son. He finds the girl, convinces her to return with him, the girl leaves home and heads back with the servant to meet her new husband and her father –in-law. They get married. Avraham takes a wife and lives quietly in retirement. The Parsha concludes with Avraham’s death and the death of his eldest son Ishmael.

Structurally, the Parsha is rather peculiar. Between narrative of Sarah’s death and funeral and the narrative of Avraham and Ishmael’s deaths exists a narrative affirming life.  A father arranges to find a wife for his son. A young woman, Rivkah,  leaves home and marries Avraham’s son Yitzchak, a man who had a near death experience when his father tried to offer him as a sacrifice and who is dealing with the death of his mother.  This life affirming narrative is told three different ways. The first narrative occurs when Avraham tells his servant what to do: Return to the ancestral homeland, find a girl from the tribe, bring her back so that Yitzchak can marry her. The second narrative is Avraham’s plan coming to fruition. The servant returns to Avraham’s homeland, he prays to God for a sign that he should pick the right girl, he meets the girl and then meets the family. The third narrative is the servant’s recounting the narrative beginning with Avraham’s presenting the servant with this sacred task. Why does the Torah present this narrative three different ways and from three different perspectives: Avraham’s plan, Avraham’s servant (Eliezer) fulfilling the mission, Eliezer explaining all these events to Rebecca’s family? Why all the details? The Torah could have told of Avraham’s plan, and even included the events that allowed Eliezer to fulfill the plan. Certainly we don’t need to read Eliezer’s recounting of events to Rebecca’s family. The Torah could have said: “And Eliezer told her family all that happened.” Maybe we read the narratives’ reiteration gets us to look at it in more than just a cursory manner. The more we look at it, and hear about it, the more we begin to realize just how miraculous the whole story is. Maybe the narrative’s reiteration reminds us that the focus should be on life affirming events rather than death affirming events.  Maybe the subliminal message and the reason for the narrative’s reiteration is the sanctity of narrative. Yitzchak was dealing with lots of death, as was Avraham. Generally death marks the end of a narrative. For Yitzchak and Rebecca, both of whom were about to begin new stage of life together, they needed to have a new narrative, their narrative. For the narrative to be effective it had to include the past, an origin, it needs to embody point to a possible future, it needs to embody fundamental values, and it needs to have a way of being transmitted.

 Indeed Thanksgiving is beloved by the American Jewish community. There is a narrative about people coming to the new world to escape religious persecution. There are special foods. Families come together. The only difference between Thanksgiving and any Jewish Holiday is that Thanksgiving does not have any restrictions of a Yom Tov. However every Jewish family can relate to the immigrant experience, every Jewish family can relate to the importance of religious freedom. Every Jewish family understand the sanctity of a narrative, the telling of a story that links the past to the present and offers lessons for the future. Just exactly how important is the idea of narrative in Judaism. Halacha Jewish law includes commandment to tell the story of the Exodus, to read the Megillah of Esther twice on the holiday of Purim, to teach Torah to “your children”. Judaism commands us to transmit our narrative to the next generation.  So while we are eating turkey, stuffing and sweet potatoes, we will be transmitting the story of Pilgrims, Native Americans, Squanto, the first thanksgiving, religious freedom, the Jewish experience and our family’s immigrant experience.

Peace,

Rav Yitz

Oh My God, Am I Here All Alone? (Bob Dylan - Ballad of a Thin Man)

Last week, while a small group of Jews in the Har Nof section of Jerusalem were conducting their weekday morning prayers, two Palestinian attacked them and four Rabbis were murdered. An Israeli policemen was killed as the Police tried to capture the terrorists. Many were wounded and the scenes of blood upon the floor, upon the table where people prayed, upon the prayer books and prayer shawls reminded me of scenes from pogroms of 19^th and 20^th century Europe. Our children heard about it in school and we all watched the news that afternoon and evening.  As difficult as it was to see the destruction and blood in the Har Nof synagogue; it was even more difficult to watch scenes of Palestinians celebrating the attack and dancing in the streets.  Our kids were horrified and disgusted. I told them that the last time I saw that was on 9/11 when Palestinians danced in the streets and celebrated the destruction of the Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and thousands of people dying.  As we continued to watch the news; I became more dismayed with the response from the President whom I have now voted for twice. Yes he said what he was supposed to say; he urged calm and condemned the attacks. Yet as a Jew, I felt alone. It was the same feeling I had started to have when the 9/11 attacks happened.  Then, as an American I felt alone as I watched Palestinians celebrate. Then Israel, and Israel’s leadership said that she understood, that America was not alone, that Israel and Israelis understand what is it is to suffer from a terrorist attack and watch as people celebrate. Surely, the President, or some White House spokesman could have offered a more empathetic statement and told Israel that she is not alone; that America understand what is like to suffer from a terrorist attack and watch Palestinians celebrate. However no such empathetic statement was made. As a Jew, as someone who loves Israel, I felt alone. It seemed that Israel truly stands alone.

This week we read from Parsha VaYeitze. This week we read from Parshat VaYeitze. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. For the first time, Yaakov will find out what it means to be alone in the world.  He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. For the first time, but certainly not the last time, he will have to face being alone. Yes, Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father in- law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus upon Yaakov life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living and all the trials, tribulation, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him. Yet throughout the narrative he will have to understand what it means to truly be alone. At the beginning of the narrative he feels alone. By the end of the narrative, he has formed a key relationship and as a result, will never feel alone or abandoned again.

Yaakov acknowledges his loneliness at the beginning of the Parsha. He doesn’t even feel connected to God. First God speaks to Yaakov in the dream: Ani Adoshem Elohei Avraham Avicha, V’Elohei Yitzchak HaAretz Asher Atah Shocheiv Aleha Lecha Etnenah U’LeZarecha – I am Hashem, God of Abraham your father and God of Isaac; the ground upon which you are lying, to you will I give it and to your descendants (28:13). In the dream, God offers Yaakov protection wherever Yaakov goes. In a sense God volunteers to be Yaakov’s God as well.  When Yaakov wakes up from the dream he still does not feel reassured: Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi Ushmarani Baderech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holech v’Natan Li Lechem L’echol Uveged Lilbosh, vShavti b’Shalom el Bet Avi v’Hayah Hashem Li Le’lohim.  If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and clothes to wear, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God.  Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi Ushmarani Baderech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holech v’Natan Li Lechem L’echol Uveged Lilbosh, vShavti b’Shalom el Bet Avi v’Hayah Hashem Li Le’lohim.  If God will be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and clothes to wear, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then shall the Lord be my God.   For Yaakov, being alone is a function of not have what to eat, what to wear and mostly; being alone is feeling exiled from his parents.  After nearly twenty years, as Yaakov has matured, is married, has children, and property, he wonders if it is time to leave Lavan and his exile.  VaYomer Adoshem el Yaakov Shuv el Eretz Avotecha Ulmoladtecha V’Eheyeh Imach – And Hashem said to Yaakov: “Return to the land of your fathers and to your native land, and I will be with you (31:3). It took nearly two decades for Yaakov to understand that even when he thought he was alone, he wasn’t truly alone. The miracles of his life, his wives, his children, his economic success indicated that God was involved and his God as well as Yaakov’s father’s God.

Yes, it may seem that Israel stands alone. Even when Palestinians dance at other terrorist attacks and those countries fail to offer empathy to Israel when Palestinians dance and celebrate terrorist attacks upon Israel; Israel is not alone. As Palestinians continue to dance and celebrate the loss of life in Israel and in other countries, the world will eventually see which country, which people are the embodiment of B’nai Yaakov, the children of Jacob, and which people are the embodiment of B’nai Esav, and B’nai Lavan, the children of Esau and the children of Lavan.

Peace,

           Rav Yitz

So Many Roads I Know; All I Want Is One To Take Me Home (Hunter & Garcia- So Many Roads))

Among the great cultural differences between Americans and Canadians is the notion of Thanksgiving. In living in Toronto, I have learned that indeed, Canada has Thanksgiving. It happens to coincide with Columbus Day in the United States. Yes there is a Turkey dinner with all the fixings. I have even noticed supermarkets have display shelves for Thanksgiving. However in the Jewish community, Canada’s Thanksgiving is not a big deal. Maybe Canada’s Thanksgiving is not a big deal because it usually falls right around the Jewish Holidays or maybe it’s not a big deal because there is no culturally unifying narrative. Whatever the reason may be, when I try to explain American Thanksgiving, Canadian Jews look at me like I am the typical patriotic American, or they think that this is another example of Jews assimilating into American culture, or that it is a quaint commercialized excuse to mark the beginning of Holiday shopping. While there is no question that Thanksgiving has evolved into a commercialized excuse for Black Friday and Cyber Monday, Thanksgiving is indeed a secularized and necessary Yom Tov. Yes there is a narrative: Pilgrims seeking religious freedom sail to the new world, land at Plymouth Rock, manage to survive the first winter and then develop a relationship with the native Americans who teach them how to survive in the New World, as the summer harvest is gather and much of it is stored, both groups join together for a feast in which Thanks is given – Thanks for a bountiful harvest, Thanks for positive relationship between two very different peoples and their respective cultures and Thanks to the opportunities that await this people in the New World. For Jews fleeing religious persecution in Europe and settling in America, their experience was no different than all those other immigrants that came to America decades before and after fleeing their own religious persecution and finding a new world built on the principals of Religious Toleration. When Thanksgiving is viewed from this perspective, it becomes very easy to understand why American Jews, from the most Reform to the Orthodox Jews of Young Israel and Aish HaTorah celebrate Thanksgiving. Indeed, it is a time in which we realize that we are indeed free to express our Thanks. Growing up in Rochester, Thanksgiving was truly Yom Tov. Certainly there was an expectation that I would be home for Thanksgiving. There is no question that going home for thanksgiving is part of the “Thanksgiving picture” and the reason why the Tuesday evening and the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is the busiest travel day of the year. In our home, we all look forward to Thanksgiving, reconnecting with family for a few days, and participating in one last get together before the onslaught of winter hibernation. Even if we could not physically “go home”, there was always the expectation that we would celebrate Thanksgiving wherever we were in the world.

This week we read from Parshat VaYeitzeh- a Parsha that is replete with the Holiday Themes of Thanksgiving and “Home for the Holidays”. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father in- law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus upon Yaakov life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living and all the trials, tribulation, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him.

Yaakov will have to have his own experiences, and live his own life before he is capable of truly offering thanks and being thankful. After Yaakov dreams of the ladder, he has a revelatory experience. V’hinei Adonai Nitzav Alav, Vayomer: Ani Adonai Elohei Avraham Avicha v’Elohei Yitzchak – and behold Hashem stood above it and said: I am Hashem the God of Abraham your father, and the God of Yitzchak (Gen.28:13). However God does not introduce himself as “your God” but rather the God of his Avraham and Yitzchak. God appreciates the fact that any sense of a relationship that exists between Yaakov and God is merely a function of Yaakov’s father and grandfather. Although he received a blessing upon fleeing from his home, Yaakov has not experienced his own narrative. He doesn’t share a common narrative with his father or grandfather. Certainly there is a pre-existing relationship but it is merely a function of a covenant between God and Yaakov’s father and grandfather. Yaakov does not yet have his own connection to God and the covenant. Rather the person must develop his or her own connection. Yaakov must eventually have his own relationship with God that is separate and based upon his own merit as well as God’s. Va’yidar Yaakov Neder Leimor: Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi, v’Shamrani b’Derech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holeich, v’Natan Li Lechem Le’Echol v’Beged Lilbosh, V’Shavti B’shalom El Beit Avi, V’hayah HaShem Li Leilohim – And Yaakov vowed a vow saying: if the God will stand with me, and guard me on this way that I go, and give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, and returns me in peace to my father’s home, then Hashem will be my God. (Gen 28:20-21). Yaakov has now laid out the conditions by which Yaakov and God will have their own unique connection, based upon a common narrative that he shares with his father and grandfather. Avraham left his home and went to Eretz Canaan, Avraham experienced exile twice when he left Canaan and returned. Yitzchak never physically left Canaan however his experience at the Akedah was so life altering that he first went to Beer Sheva before he returned to his parents (only to find out that his mother had died). Both men had left home and had the opportunity to have their own individual relationship with God. Yaakov understood that when he is able to “return home” then God can be his God as well. Only after experiencing exile and returning home does Yaakov share enough common experiences with his father and grandfather that he would feel connected to the Covenant and to his family.

Part of the Thanksgiving experience is the idea that Americans return “home” for Thanksgiving. Even when my wife was in Israel she and her friends celebrated Thanksgiving with a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Whether we Americans physically travel to our parents for the holiday or that we celebrate it in whatever country we live in, there is no question that the process of returning to a place where one is capable of offering Thanks is key to appreciating Thanksgiving. In a sense, we can look at Shabbat as weekly Thanksgiving. During the weekday we are in a type of exile and Shabbat is the opportunity in which we are able to return to our family and to God.

Peace,

Rav Yitz