Among the great cultural differences between Americans and Canadians is the notion of Thanksgiving. In living in Toronto, I have learned that indeed, Canada has Thanksgiving. It happens to coincide with Columbus Day in the United States. Yes there is a Turkey dinner with all the fixings. I have even noticed supermarkets have display shelves for Thanksgiving. However in the Jewish community, Canada’s Thanksgiving is not a big deal. Maybe Canada’s Thanksgiving is not a big deal because it usually falls right around the Jewish Holidays or maybe it’s not a big deal because there is no culturally unifying narrative. Whatever the reason may be, when I try to explain American Thanksgiving, Canadian Jews look at me like I am the typical patriotic American, or they think that this is another example of Jews assimilating into American culture, or that it is a quaint commercialized excuse to mark the beginning of Holiday shopping. While there is no question that Thanksgiving has evolved into a commercialized excuse for Black Friday and Cyber Monday, Thanksgiving is indeed a secularized and necessary Yom Tov. Yes there is a narrative: Pilgrims seeking religious freedom sail to the new world, land at Plymouth Rock, manage to survive the first winter and then develop a relationship with the native Americans who teach them how to survive in the New World, as the summer harvest is gather and much of it is stored, both groups join together for a feast in which Thanks is given – Thanks for a bountiful harvest, Thanks for positive relationship between two very different peoples and their respective cultures and Thanks to the opportunities that await this people in the New World. For Jews fleeing religious persecution in Europe and settling in America, their experience was no different than all those other immigrants that came to America decades before and after fleeing their own religious persecution and finding a new world built on the principals of Religious Toleration. When Thanksgiving is viewed from this perspective, it becomes very easy to understand why American Jews, from the most Reform to the Orthodox Jews of Young Israel and Aish HaTorah celebrate Thanksgiving. Indeed, it is a time in which we realize that we are indeed free to express our Thanks. Growing up in Rochester, Thanksgiving was truly Yom Tov. Certainly there was an expectation that I would be home for Thanksgiving. There is no question that going home for thanksgiving is part of the “Thanksgiving picture” and the reason why the Tuesday evening and the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is the busiest travel day of the year. In our home, we all look forward to Thanksgiving, reconnecting with family for a few days, and participating in one last get together before the onslaught of winter hibernation. Even if we could not physically “go home”, there was always the expectation that we would celebrate Thanksgiving wherever we were in the world.
This week we read from Parshat VaYeitzeh- a Parsha that is replete with the Holiday Themes of Thanksgiving and “Home for the Holidays”. The focus of the narrative is upon Yaakov. He has left his mother, Rivkah, and his father Yitzchak, for the first time. In fleeing his brother Esav, Yaakov now embarks on a new phase of his life. Yaakov will meet his future wives, his cousins Leah and Rachel. He will work for his father in- law, Lavan, and he will have children. The narrative will focus upon Yaakov life from young adulthood to becoming a responsible father, earning a living and all the trials, tribulation, and tensions of career and family. As Yaakov makes his way in life, hopefully he will learn more about himself. With each event, with each adventure, Yaakov has an opportunity to become better connected, better connected to himself, and better connected to a covenant that his father bequeathed to him.
Yaakov will have to have his own experiences, and live his own life before he is capable of truly offering thanks and being thankful. After Yaakov dreams of the ladder, he has a revelatory experience. V’hinei Adonai Nitzav Alav, Vayomer: Ani Adonai Elohei Avraham Avicha v’Elohei Yitzchak – and behold Hashem stood above it and said: I am Hashem the God of Abraham your father, and the God of Yitzchak (Gen.28:13). However God does not introduce himself as “your God” but rather the God of his Avraham and Yitzchak. God appreciates the fact that any sense of a relationship that exists between Yaakov and God is merely a function of Yaakov’s father and grandfather. Although he received a blessing upon fleeing from his home, Yaakov has not experienced his own narrative. He doesn’t share a common narrative with his father or grandfather. Certainly there is a pre-existing relationship but it is merely a function of a covenant between God and Yaakov’s father and grandfather. Yaakov does not yet have his own connection to God and the covenant. Rather the person must develop his or her own connection. Yaakov must eventually have his own relationship with God that is separate and based upon his own merit as well as God’s. Va’yidar Yaakov Neder Leimor: Im Yiheyeh Elohim Imadi, v’Shamrani b’Derech Hazeh Asher Anochi Holeich, v’Natan Li Lechem Le’Echol v’Beged Lilbosh, V’Shavti B’shalom El Beit Avi, V’hayah HaShem Li Leilohim – And Yaakov vowed a vow saying: if the God will stand with me, and guard me on this way that I go, and give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, and returns me in peace to my father’s home, then Hashem will be my God. (Gen 28:20-21). Yaakov has now laid out the conditions by which Yaakov and God will have their own unique connection, based upon a common narrative that he shares with his father and grandfather. Avraham left his home and went to Eretz Canaan, Avraham experienced exile twice when he left Canaan and returned. Yitzchak never physically left Canaan however his experience at the Akedah was so life altering that he first went to Beer Sheva before he returned to his parents (only to find out that his mother had died). Both men had left home and had the opportunity to have their own individual relationship with God. Yaakov understood that when he is able to “return home” then God can be his God as well. Only after experiencing exile and returning home does Yaakov share enough common experiences with his father and grandfather that he would feel connected to the Covenant and to his family.
Part of the Thanksgiving experience is the idea that Americans return “home” for Thanksgiving. Even when my wife was in Israel she and her friends celebrated Thanksgiving with a traditional Thanksgiving meal. Whether we Americans physically travel to our parents for the holiday or that we celebrate it in whatever country we live in, there is no question that the process of returning to a place where one is capable of offering Thanks is key to appreciating Thanksgiving. In a sense, we can look at Shabbat as weekly Thanksgiving. During the weekday we are in a type of exile and Shabbat is the opportunity in which we are able to return to our family and to God.
Peace,
Rav Yitz
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